


An Elia Santini Season

by lionheart8



Series: (My) Skam Italia Seasons [2]
Category: SKAM (Italy)
Genre: F/M, Family Issues, Gen, M/M, a season fic, already dating elippo, but they are more like side characters like the boys were in s3, eva silvia and ele have scenes, literally the elia season, lots of contrabbandieri, sana and fede do talk and appear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:15:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 97,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22324660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionheart8/pseuds/lionheart8
Summary: Like the title suggest this is my version of an "Elia Santini Season"!
Relationships: Elia Santini & Eleonora Sava, Elia Santini & Original Characters, Elia Santini/Filippo Sava, Eva Brighi & Elia Santini, Eva Brighi/Giovanni Garau, Giovanni Garau & Elia Santini, Luca Colosi & Elia Santini, Luca Colosi & Silvia Mirabella, Martino Rametta & Elia Santini, Niccolò Fares & Elia Santini, Niccolò Fares/Martino Rametta, Silvia Mirabella & Elia Santini
Series: (My) Skam Italia Seasons [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1661599
Comments: 64
Kudos: 121





	1. Episode 1 : Date Night

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I finally managed to start the Elia season!!!! I hope you'll like it as much as I like writing it!
> 
> Firstly, I will update the fic weekly and I am giving myself one or two days of delay. (With the Gio season fic I would update in every 2-3 days and eventually I burned so I don't want a repeat).
> 
> Speaking of the "A Giovanni Garau Season" fic, this fic or this season follows the Gio one but you don't have to read that to read the Elia one. Of course, because I wrote that and I am proud of it I recommend you read it but I will give the necessary background information:
> 
> (-Time wise the characters are in their senior years and it starts in January. I am going to write 10 chapters but I might add a bonus one in the format of OG finale or Druck Abiball clip to wrap up their highschool time.)
> 
> -Elia and Filippo have been together since the middle of Gio's season. So they have been together for roughly two monts.
> 
> -Gio once saw them on the street so he knows about Elia and Filippo but he didn't say anything. In Gio's finale, Nicco also seemed to notice something different about Elia but we don't know if he knows Elia and Filippo.
> 
> -Gio had a falling out with his parents so he would be staying over at Elia's, Marti and Nicco's (yes, they are living togerher) or Luca's. It's also the reason why he is working as a barista in a cafe called Diego's Coffee near their school.
> 
> -Eva and Gio got back together through the end of his season so they have been now together roughly for a month. Silvia and Luca have been dating since the beginning of Gio's season (so the two have been dating longer than the others).
> 
> -The boys and the girls are closer together. Gio is especially closer with Ele and Edo and because of him contrabbanderi hanged out with Edo a lot too. Edoardo is studying in Milano. Ele was called in to testify, like Wtfock's storyline, and her and Edoardo are dealing with it together. 
> 
> -Gio doesn't know about Marti telling Eva's secret. Marti told Nicco about it though. 
> 
> These are the key informations from the Giovanni Garau season fic! If there are other informations needed in other chapters I will write them too. Once again I would like you to read that fic too but just like you can skip Skamverse seasons you can skip that fic too!

**Lunedi 8:38 - The Drill**

Elia rolled over in the bed that has become familiar to him in the past month. The little sun rays was falling on him as he opened his eyes. He rolled over again to see Filippo’s face that was buried into the pillow. Elia had discovered that Filippo was a very loud person. Not that Elia was complaining. After all, Elia wasn’t the quietest person either and maybe that’s why they connected easily. So now, Elia was waking up on Filo’s bed.

He rested his head on the pillow too and started watching Filippo’s breaths hit the bed sheets. Elia wanted to reach in and caress his face but he didn’t want to wake Filo up and also he didn’t want to be understood as a sappy romantic. As if Filo understood what Elia was thinking he talked groggily with his still closed eyes:

“I can feel your eyes on me Santini.” 

A smile spread through Elia’s face and he fully buried his face to the pillow. Filo reached in and grabbed Elia’s face to give him a kiss. Their kiss lasted a bit longer than a sweet morning kiss. Filippo got on top of Elia and was moving down on Elia’s body giving him kisses all over. It was almost going to develop into something further but Elia stopped Filo by holding his neck. 

“I have to go to school.” Elia said with a smile. 

Filippo slowly lied back on the bed then turned to his side to face Elia. 

“I almost forgot you were just high schooler.” Filo said with a side smirk. 

Elia rolled his eyes and flipped off Filippo. Filo loved making fun of how “young and small” Elia was even though Elia had turned 18 even before they started this whole thing. Elia usually played along because they would mess around with each other and joke; also because Filo had a lot of fun. But deep down Elia couldn’t help but wonder if their age difference was truly an issue for Filippo. He was only 3-4 years older than Elia which was nothing but one of them was in high school and the other in university so maybe that complicated things for Filo. 

“At least I am not old.” Elia said with his middle finger still raised. 

Filippo flipped Elia back and the two of them laughed a little before Filippo pushed down Elia’s hand and kissed him again. For a second there, Elia forgot that he had school and he become the one giving Filippo kisses all over. He had just moved onto Filippo’s neck when Filippo stopped him:

“I can’t have you failing. You have to graduate this year.” Filippo said continuing on the joke with a bigger grin. 

Elia threw his head back with a laugh. If Elia being in high school was that much a problem he wouldn’t be laughing now, right? 

After giving Filippo a peck on the lips he hopped off from the bed. He grabbed his t-shirt from the chair and pulled it over his head. Then, he grabbed his pants that were on the floor and pulled it up while Filippo was checking him out from the bed. 

“Miss me and this.” Elia said pointing at himself more specifically to his body.

“You miss me.” Filippo said shrugging. 

Elia grabbed his bag from the ground and stuffed all of his belongings in it. He wasn’t leaving anything behind; not after he left Gio’s sweatshirt there and the day after that Filippo wore it to Gio’s work. He couldn’t, they couldn’t have that panic again. Since the boys knew basically all of his clothes Filippo either was going to wear any piece of his to places where he knew he wouldn’t run into the contrabbandieri or he wasn’t going to wear them at all. They opted for the latter. 

“No goodybe kiss for you.” Elia said walking towards the door. 

But Filippo was quick. He got up from the bed, rushed over to Elia and basically pushed him to the wall next to the door. The sudden impact and the surprise made Elia drop his bag to the ground which made some noise. They were making out with Elia’s hands all over Filippo’s hair. At the brief moment they separated they started laughing and transitioned into the kiss through the laughter. That was until Eleonora yelled from inside:

“Filo, you up?”

They stopped kissing and Elia dropped his head to the wall while Filo stood up with a groan. 

“That’s my cue.” Elia said with a smile raising his eyebrows. 

“Wait.” Filippo said and reached over to Elia. Filo started to fix the collar of his shirt and Elia couldn’t help but smile. 

Up until now Elia didn’t see the appeal of these small things. Sure, he knew that Marti and Nicco loved each other and Gio and Eva loved each other, even though they hadn’t said it for their second time yet, and Luca and Silvia were on the way there but he didn’t quite get them. Like why did Nicco leave little notes to Marti still or why Gio liked playing with Eva’s hair. Filippo fixing his shirt seemed close enough to that. So maybe Elia was finally getting them a little.

“Now you can go.” Filo said giving Elia a kiss on the cheek. 

“You know the drill.” Elia answered with a wink. 

Filo took a deep breath, winked back at Elia and walked out the door. 

“Good morning, sis!” Filippo said as loud as he can be. 

This wasn’t their first time sneaking around Eleonora. Filippo would go in first and chat with her, distract her with loud noises and weird movements. Elia would slowly walk out the room towards the door and would just run out as fast as he could. It was a good plan that Elia believed they had perfected over time and will continue to perfect. 

Elia was on his tiptoes and was holding up his shoes as he carefully opened Filo’s room’s door. Step by step he passed the living room and the corridor. He was hearing Filo and Ele’s talk. Filo was asking her questions about school which Ele didn’t seem to understand why. Elia laughed silently by himself to their exchange. When he finally came to the exterior door he slowly opened it and let himself out-still with a big smile on his face. 

* * *

**Martedi 18.43 - Uncle**

Elia was at the kitchen of his mother’s house cooking dinner for himself and his mother. He opened the top left drawer and took out a wooden spoon. He started to stir the tomato based sauce he was making to not let it dry up. After stirring it for two minutes he cut down the stove and let the pot by itself. 

Then, he checked the clock and opened the stove to control the meatballs he put in before. Today, Elia tried seasoning them with coriander for the first time so he was excited. The meatballs weren’t ready yet, there was at least twenty more minutes for them to be cooked. That would give him enough time to make a salad and prepare the table. His mother would come home in about thirty minutes so the timing was perfect.

Elia was walking over to the fridge to pick up the ingredients for the green salad he was thinking of when his phone ranged. He picked it up from the counter and read “ _Zio Dario_ ” on the screen. He rolled his eyes and took a deep breath before answering the phone.

“Hi, Zio Dario.” Elia said with an exasperated tone.

“Elia, my favourite _nipote_. How are you?” Elia’s uncle asked from the other side. 

Elia leaned on to the counter next to the stove, “Good, good.” he said. “How are you?” then he asked liked the nice nephew he was.

“I am good too, great. Are you busy? What are you doing?” Dario asked. 

Elia wondered if Dario sensed that he didn’t really wanted to talk. 

“Just cooking dinner.” Elia answered trying to be as vague as possible.

“Again?” Dario said protesting. “My little sister should be doing that not you.” he added seriously.

Elia rolled his eyes as much as he could. Uncle Dario was his mom’s big brother (there was four years between them). He never understood Elia’s fondness of cooking. Every time they were together he would make remarks and jokes about Elia doing all the cooking in the house. It was a bit tiring, bit old fashioned but it was harmless and just the comedy concept of Dario's generation so Elia let it go (also because her mother told him to let it go).

“I am not complaining and she is working, you know that. Anyway what did you call about?” Elia asked sending messages that he wanted this call to be over.

“Right. I am going to give your cousins a lesson on how to fight next Saturday. I was going to invite you too.” Dario said excitedly.

Elia rolled his eyes once again. He wondered what his cousins did this time.

“Why?” Elia asked rather curiously.

“My dear son, your darling cousin Cristian got himself beaten up. So I am taking the matter into my hands.” Dario answered getting prouder of himself through the end. 

Christian was a year younger than Elia and he was Dario’s second child after his big sister who was in university. Elia had a diplomatic relationship with his cousins mostly. He had five cousins on his mother’s side. Christian also had a younger brother, Pietro, who was 13. His mother’s younger brother also had two children : one girl who was 15 and one boy who was 18, at Elia’s age. When they got together for big family dinners they would mess around and laugh and that was it. He only met up with Dario’s oldest, Irene, aside from these dinners. 

“Why?” Elia asked repeating himself. “I mean why did he got beaten up?”

“Something about a girl. Just boys being boys.” Dario answered. 

Yeah, ‘boys being boys’. That definitely meant that the guys that beat up Christian was in the right.

“I think I am busy but thanks for the offer.” Elia said trying his hardest to be polite. 

Also, Elia thought he knew how to fight considering the big fight with those homophobic assholes and how he absolutely bashed more than one people’s face. If anything he should be the one to give Christian (and even Dario) fighting lessons.

“You might need it one day.” Dario said seriously once again.

“Ah, I need to check the food. Talk to you later.” Elia said abruptly and closed the phone as he heard Uncle Dario say goodbye too. 

Elia sighed and threw his head back. He got off the phone easy this time. Normally, a conversation with Dario would last at least fifteen minutes. Before going back to preparing the salad he decided to check his phone. There was a message from Filippo who sent Elia a view of the food he was eating. As a response Elia took a photo of the kitchen and sent it to Filo with a winky face. He regretted the emoji right after sending it; he could hear Gio the love wizard’s mocking voice in his head. Then, he thought Gio-

“Fuck.” Elia said out loud. 

He quickly texted Gio that he could stay at his place that night and that Gio was in for a treat. A minute later Gio answered with a big thank you saying he just finished his shift and was on the way. Elia continued on his amazing cooking (with more determination than usual as if to spite Uncle Dario).

* * *

**Mercoledi 15:17 - Fancy Dinner**

Elia was in front of the school gate with the boys just killing time really because he didn’t want to go home and study even if he needed to. He was leaning onto the ivy wrapped school wall with Gio next to him as they faced Luca and Marti. Luca had on that beanie that Silvia got him. Elia was really holding himself back from grabbing it from his head just to mess with Luca. Up to this day he could always mess with Luca about anything and Luca never took it wrongly in fact he would enjoy it too but he seemed to be extra sensitive about Silvia. So, Elia was behaving himself. 

“Saturday night we are going out for dinner, right?” Luca asked smiling bright. 

“YES!” Marti started loudly then quieted down. "I asked Nicco, Gio asked Eva. Everybody is set on that day.” he ended.

“What did I miss?” Elia asked pointing in between the four of them.

“Dinner?” Luca asked almost a little disappointed. 

“I understood that much, thank you.” Elia answered with sigh.

Gio hit him on the arm. Elia turned to look at him and Gio basically had the warning look in his eyes saying not to mess with Luca.

“All of us going to a fancy dinner that Luca planned. Remember?” Gio asked squeezing Elia’s shoulder strongly with a smile but his eyes were still warning. 

Elia obviously remembered that. Luca had been talking about it for a week. He found the restaurant on his own, he made the reservation, he even issued a dress code. As far as Elia understood though, it was a couples thing. Sure, saying Marti was bringing Nicco was a bit weird because Nicco was basically one of them so it was given that he was there. But, Gio was bringing Eva and Luca was bringing Silvia. Since he couldn’t bring anybody and by anybody he was thinking of Filippo (as they were keeping everything a secret) he thought he wasn’t like really invited.

“Yeah, I remember. But isn’t that one of your triple dates?” Elia asked shrugging. 

Elia could feel Gio look at him burningly again. 

“No, it’s a night for the contrabbandieri.” Luca said defensively.

“Just an extended version of the contrabbandieri.” Marti said with a smile in support of Luca.

“Which means you are invited too Santini.” Gio said hitting him on the arm again. 

The guys, they wouldn’t think of excluding him, Elia knew that. Still, it felt weird to knowingly go there when all of the others were able to bring their girlfriends and boyfriends. It was one thing if like Elia had a significant other that was away or busy; it was another thing that Elia couldn’t bring Filippo. Also, he had a date night planned with Filippo on Saturday night. 

“I am honored but I am busy on Saturday. Family dinner.” Elia said with an apologetic smile. It was a half-lie so he felt fine.

“We can reschedule it if you want?” Luca stated like a question.

“Noooo! Don’t cancel your plans for me.” Elia said but the boys looked hesitant. “Seriously. I will join at another time.” he added while taking a step and pushing Luca back on his shoulder.

It was a small playful push which achieved exactly what Elia was aiming for. 

Luca put on his big smile, “Fine. But you’ll be there at the next time.” he said.

By next time maybe me and Filippo would be public, Elia thought.

“Promise.” he said smiling back and trying to forget his doubts.

“And maybe it will be even more crowded.” Gio said looking at Elia with a side smirk.

Gio sounded like he was implying something so Elia gave him a suspicious look. Marti and Luca didn’t seem to notice anything though; they continued talking.

“YES!” Luca shouted suddenly and a few heads turned to them. “Maybe we can have a dinner party?” He said raising his eyebrows.

“Are you gonna be the one to cook?” Marti asked with a laugh he was trying to hold in. 

Luca pushed Marti from the side as retaliation and Elia saw in the corner of his eye Gio imitate barfing. 

As much as a good cook Elia was Luca was the opposite. Elia would sometimes say he was taking Luca as his apprentice but that just meant that Luca was his guinea pig: the one tasting everything. Occasionally, Elia would let him put the already measured ingredients in. Still, Elia would act like Luca was doing the most important job (and to an extent he was doing an important job).

“I think you would want to employ my talents for that job.” Elia said with a smug smile.

“My stomach agrees.” Marti said laughing this time. 

“At least I am good as an apprentice, right?” Luca said looking Elia in the eye.

“The best!” Elia replied winking at Luca.

Luca reached in and him and Elia did a hand shake while Marti and Gio watched mockingly. 

“If whatever that was is over…” Gio said pointing in the middle of the boys. “…can we leave now?” he finished.

“Gitoni?” Marti asked pulling the zipper of his coat up.

“Rametta, you love getting defeated don’t you?” Elia said throwing an arm around Marti’s shoulder.

“Hey! Don’t speak too early Santini.” Gio answered hitting Elia on the neck.

“Because you win all the time right Garau?” Luca said mockingly. 

Gio hit Luca on the head too, “I can win at something Luchino.” he said grinning. “Race you to the bus stop?” he suggested while already starting to run.

Luca immediately followed him yelling that it was unfair that Gio had a head start. Elia stayed behind with Marti which didn’t happen much but guess both of them didn’t want to run. They watched their stupid friends race with each other for no reason. 

* * *

**Giovedi 16:41 - The Race**

Today after school, since everybody was finally available they decided to hit the skate park with plus ones of course. It was Elia, Gio, Marti, Luca, Nicco, Eva and Silvia. Eva being there took Elia back to two years ago when they would mess around mostly in the abandoned pool and Eva would tag along and film them. They didn’t even know Luca back then. He felt like collectively they have gone through ten years of experience in the past two years.

With the pressure of the boys Nicco had brought a skateboard with him too. It was originally Luca’s brother’s skateboard but the kid decided skateboard wasn’t cool enough so he abandoned it. So, the skateboard made its way to Nicco. Poor Nicco after dating Marti for more than a year and hanging with the rest of the contrabbanderi almost as much still suck at skateboarding. That was obviously such a fun for Elia and the others. Every time he landed on his butt they would burst out laughing. It wasn’t something against Nicco really. Elia would laugh if any other of them fell down too and history showed that he did.

Elia was used to having Nicco around at the skate park. It felt natural that he was here making a mess of himself and having fun. At some point in the past he was also used to having Eva there too. Now, having the three of them there though kinda felt weird-not that Elia would say anything or show it. 

It would have been one thing if he was single. He wouldn’t maybe be bothered by the fact that he was a “7th wheel” but the fact that he actually had a boyfriend that he just couldn’t bring over was another thing. Elia found himself desperately wishing Filippo was there too. (He had never felt this way for somebody before and he kinda didn’t know how to act like.)

He looked around and started to watch his friends. Nicco was on the skateboard trying to go in a straight line while Marti followed by him with his arms open ready to catch his boyfriend. A smile spread through Elia’s face at the sight. Gio and Eva were also watching the couple and making fun of them-mostly of Martino. A minute later Giovanni and Eva looked at each other laughing; Elia saw Eva get on her tiptoes and give Gio a peck on the lips. Then, Gio got on his skateboard too and Eva started filming him-like the old times. Looking at the third couple, Silvia was the one on the skateboard and she was surprisingly good at it. Elia had no idea how but she was able to do tricks like flipping the board and jumping up. Luca was watching Silvia with the biggest smile and every time she did a cool turn or trick Luca was applauding. 

If Filippo was there maybe he could have watched Elia skate too. Or maybe he would take really great photos from all the different angles. Or or maybe he would be one to get on the skateboard and Elia would have the time of his life making fun of him. And every now and then they would give each other little kisses while Elia’s friends watched them with a smile on their face. 

Elia sighed and closed his eyes for a second. Then, he grabbed his skateboard from the ground and made his way to the side, over to the benches. At least that was the plan but as soon as he turned around and took one step Luca ran up to him from behind.

“Elia! Elia!” Luca yelled from afar. “Hey, where are you going?” He said with his voice rising as he got closer to Elia.

Elia gave out a breath and turned back with a smile:

“I am just gonna sit for a while. You know I am getting old for this shit.” Elia said forcing a laughter to accompany his joke at the end.

“Oh, come on! We were going to race.” Luca said pleadingly.

Elia always had a hard time saying no that pleading face of Luchino.

“I will come when it’s time to race.” Elia offered with a smile.

Before Luca could say something else to try to persuade Elia, Silvia appeared next to them.

“What’s going on?” she asked looking between the two boys.

“Elia is being a spoilsport. He says he is going to sit down.” Luca protested looking at Silvia and showing Elia with both of his hands.

“But we were going to race.” Silvia said with a sweet smile (not as much pleadingly as Luca).

If Elia wasn’t thinking about how to get out of this he would have laughed at how both Luca and Silvia’s first response was the same. 

“You are racing too?” Elia said with a surprised scowl. 

“I am taking Nicco’s skateboard before he falls and hurts himself.” Silvia said chuckling. 

Why did it feel like Silvia was going to beat all of them in the race? Elia just wanted a moment of peace in the cacophony of the contrabbandieri and friends which didn’t happen a lot. But he needed to think and stop himself from feeling miserable while watching his friends be in happy and public relationships. (Looking at Marti and Nicco bothered him the most because if they can why can’t him and Filippo too?) If only Luca and Silvia let him.

“So…?” Silvia asked raising her left eyebrow.

“Come on Elia.” Luca said going back to his pleading expression. 

Elia had no chance but to stop over thinking and instead tried to beat his friends at a stupid skateboarding race.

“Fine.” he said rolling his eyes and groaning. 

Luca and Silvia turned their heads to each other and started smiling at the same time. A second later Luca was grabbing Elia’s right arm while Silvia grabbed his left arm. They were basically dragging him into the middle, next to the others. Elia tried not moving to mess with them but they were shockingly strong and managed to get him to walk. 

In the end Elia turned out to be right. Much to the amusement of Eva, Silvia was the one to win their little race where everybody followed the same route around the skate park and the person that did it in the shortest amount of time was the winner. 

Marti tried objecting saying Eva rigged the results but Nicco kindly reminded Marti that he was watching Eva record the time. Elia was first laughing at the scene before him but then, Marti flipped Nicco off and Nicco grabbed Marti’s face and gave him a kiss. So, his laughter stopped and his smile faded. He gave out one more breath and gulped looking down. When he raised his head again Gio was watching him. Their eyes connected and Elia blinked and shook his head up and down to say that he was okay.

* * *

**Venerdi 17:03 - Friends**

The moment Elia walked into the Diego’s Coffee the warm air hit his face. The weather was really getting cold outside, according to the app on his phone today it was 9°C. He was still able to walk around without getting his ass frozen but he had to keep his hands in his pockets the whole time. Elia wasn’t complaining much still, he was more of a summer person. He knew he had to but he didn’t like wearing coats and beanies and scarves. He liked t-shirts with a shirt over it or the shirt wrapped around his waist. The most thick clothing he would happily wear were sweatshirts. 

He made his way to the checkout and saw Gio with his back turned. He was cleaning the counter with a big white and blue stripped cloth. 

“Hey! Hot barista.” Elia said with a cheeky smile. 

Gio must have (obviously) recognized his voice because he started laughing before turning around. 

“What can I get you today Mr.?” Gio said hanging the cloth on a rod.

Elia put a hand under his chin and made the classic ’thinking face’. 

“I’ll get a medium cinnamon latte, please?” he answered smiling charmingly.

“I didn’t know you liked cinnamon.” Gio said with his eyebrows raised.

“I have the best taste among your friends. Of course I love cinnamon.” Elia answered shaking his head.

As Elia answered, Gio grabbed one of the medium sized cardboard cups and started preparing Elia’s coffee. 

“Cinnamon isn’t something different you don’t have super taste because you like it.” Gio said with a smirk.

They had to chat a little loudly to hear each other over the machines' noises. Gio was pushing buttons, filling the cup, doing things Elia had no idea what. The kitchen might be his place but this was definitely Gio’s.

“Do you like cinnamon?” Elia asked with a flat tone-the laughter was coming later on.

“No.” Gio answered adding what Elia understood to be milk to the coffee.

“My point exactly.” Elia said with a grin. 

Gio raised his head from the work he was doing and stared at Elia:

“Be careful, I can spit in this.” he said holding the cup just under his mouth.

“You wouldn’t.” Elia said confidently laughing. 

Gio didn’t answer which only meant Elia was right. Well, Elia was right in this situation because Gio wouldn’t spit on his coffee out in the open. They have known each other since they were thirteen. They have been through puberty together which only means they have done far more disgusting things to each other and with each other. A minute later Gio was finished preparing the coffee. Elia watched him as he sprinkled extra cinnamon on the coffee and put on the lid. 

When Gio came back to the checkout Elia waited for him to hand over the cup but Gio just stood there.

“You seemed off yesterday. Are you okay?” Gio asked looking at Elia with his eyes open and full of worry.

Elia knew Gio had spotted him not being too present in the moment. What did he expect really? It’s not like anything slipped Giovanni’s eyes for as long as Elia has known him. Gio might not always have the reasons why but he would always see their mood changes. He thought he was able to read Gio too but the past few months proved that Gio was also good at hiding his moods, problems. Everything was fine now and Elia was kinda back to feeling like he understood Gio again.

“I am fine. I was tired yesterday.” Elia answered with a genuine smile.

Gio almost handed over the cup but he pulled it back at the last moment:

“Elia, don’t be like me. If something is going on talk to us.” Gio offered still with worry.

Elia absolutely didn’t want to be another Gio : keeping secrets for months, dealing with everything on his own and exploding in the end. They have been through the same thing with Marti and then with Gio. He didn’t want to be the third repeat either, he learned better. But, he didn’t want to talk to the boys yet. Filo wouldn’t be mad that he told Gio or only one person about them. It was more like Filippo didn’t want everything to get out. Elia kind of wanted to and didn’t understand why Filippo wanted to be this much secretive. 

“I won’t be like you. Don’t worry, I am fine Gio.” Elia answered as serious as he can be. 

Gio finally with a comforting small smile gave the cup to Elia. After paying for the coffee Elia also left a big tip to the tip box despite Giovanni’s tries to stop him. Gio didn’t want to take his parents’ money which Elia understood. He was leaving money for Gio in his pockets, bags but almost every time Gio tried to return it saying he had a job now. Elia’s solution was to leave the biggest tips possible.

“Thank you.” Gio said timid but grateful smile.

Elia was originally going to sit on his own and look through his phone just to kill time and accompany Gio at work. His plan was changed though when he saw Eva and Eleonora sitting in a table near a window. When they saw him as well, first Eva started to wave then Eleonora who was facing the other way turned around and waved.

After saying hello and the greetings and kisses on cheeks Elia pulled over a chair from the other table and sat. 

“Didn’t know you were here.” Elia said starting the conversation. 

Elia knew that after school Gio left for work alone while Elia caught a bus home.

“Yeah, I surprised him.” Eva said with a smile as she looked up at Gio.

“And I tagged along.” Eleonora added with a similar smile.

“He is going home tonight so extra support.” Eva said now turning to Elia with her smile gone.

“You did right. He likes having people around and especially you.” Elia said smirking at the end. 

“I agree.” Ele said joining on Elia’s fun. “Giovanni works extra carefully when you are around.” she continued.

Eva blushed a little and she smiled looking down. (Elia knew Eva didn’t used to blush like this. It made Elia think that they were getting it properly the second time round.)

“You know what they say…” Eva started and paused for a second “…behind every successful man there is a woman.” she finished with a laugh. 

Elia and Eleonora looked at each other and laughed a little with her. When a women made an anti-feminist joke he was allowed to laugh, he believed. After Marti coming out to them Elia tried to be more politically correct in everything and tried to watch what he said. He became extra careful when he found about how much of a fascist Gio’s father was. Elia's own family, especially his mother’s side weren’t the most forward thinking people either but they weren’t much compared to Gio’s father. Still, Elia’s uncles had a talent of always saying the politically wrong thing. Listening to what they were saying and making mental notes to not repeat them helped Elia in his quest to be "woke".

“And behind every successful woman there are other successful women supporting her while men just hang around.” Eleonora said with a smirk.

The girls then high fived while chuckling and Elia watched them joining in their laughs. It almost felt like how he felt when hanging with the contrabbandieri. It wasn’t the same of course, it couldn’t be the same but Eva didn’t only feel like his best friend’s girlfriend; she felt like his friend. Same with Eleonora, she didn’t feel like his secret boyfriend’s sister or talking in past terms somebody he had a ton of common friends with but she felt like his friend too. It was nice broadening his circle. 

“We heard you aren't coming tomorrow.” Eleonora said after their laughs died off.

Elia took a huge sip from his coffee and gulped it down.

“Sadly, I am busy.” Elia said trying to act as normal as possible. “Family dinner.” he added keeping his white lie.

“You’ll be missed.” Eva said faking a pout. 

“I think one missing from the contrabbandieri is a good thing. Means less chaos.” Elia said taking another sip while winking over his cup.

“Four members of the contrabbandieri is still too much.” Eva said rolling her eyes playfully. 

“You have a point.” Elia said smiling. “Why aren’t you going?” he turned his head to Eleonora and asked.

“I am going to Milano to see Edoardo.” Eleonora said with a small smile. 

Elia knew that it was Edo that came to Rome mostly, guess because he was in university and had a more flexible schedule. Like Filippo had a more relaxed schedule than him because he was in university too. Edoardo and Eleonora had been through some hard times, Elia also knew. Weirdly it was never Filippo that told him about this. He either heard it from Gio or Eva or Silvia. That was his other issue with Filo. He knew all of Elia’s friends. Filippo knew the girls because of Eleonora and the boys because of Martino but Elia didn’t know any of his friends. Elia would tell Filippo about his family too but Filippo didn’t even tell him much about Eleonora. 

While he was overthinking in his head he realized that since Eleonora was gone the house was going to be empty and they didn’t need to be worried about getting caught. Elia almost cheered out loud. He stopped himself from thhat but he couldn’t stop the smile.

“That’s great!” he said to Eleonora more enthusiastically than needed. 

His weirdness didn’t attract much attention though it got the girls laughing. 

* * *

**Sabato 20:17** **\- Date Night**

Normally, Elia and Filippo were going to a Korean cuisine place at the other end of the town. At first, they weren’t that careful but then they started running into some people from their schools and realized that they could be found at any minute. So, they literally mapped out Rome and created a list of areas where they were least likely to run into people they know.

By chance since Eleonora was going away that weekend they decided to stay in. Elia was the one to suggest it and he also asked why Filo didn’t say Eleonora was not going to be home. Filippo answered saying because Elia was excited to go to that restaurant he didn’t want to mess their plans. It was a nice answer and for somebody like Elia that didn’t really do relationships before it was even nicer.

So, they ordered noodles and opened up beers. They were eating it on the living room coffee table, sitting on the ground. 

“Do you know how to skateboard?” Elia asked stuffing his face.

Filippo stopped eating and looked at Elia suspiciously-Elia had been learning to read his face too.

“No. Why?” Filippo asked. 

“Do you want to learn?” Elia asked sweetly. 

Maybe he was still thinking about Thursday afternoon and how much he wished that Filo was there too. 

“I don’t want to break my arms, thank you. I need them.” Filo said sarcastically. 

“You won’t break your arms if I teach you Filo.” Elia said smirking.

“Have you ever broken your arm?” Filippo asked being the one to stuff his face this time. 

“While skateboarding? No.” Elia answered suddenly focusing back on his dinner.

Obviously, Filippo didn’t miss the hidden answer to his question; he never did. 

“Which means you broke your arm doing something else.” Filippo said with a wink. 

Then, Filippo put down his container on the table and took a sip of his beer. He put his right elbow on the table too and placed his right hand under his chin.

“Listening.” Filippo added sweetly. If Elia wasn’t already sitting his knees would gave out at Filo’s voice.

“I was 14 and I was shooting balls with Giovanni and Marti-” Elia started softly.

“Of course it’s a contrabbandieri story.” Filippo cut in laughing.

“I kicked the ball too high and it dropped to some house’s garden. We heard something breaks so we couldn’t knock on the door.” Elia continued while internally groaning at his story.

“I have seen this scene before.” Filippo said mockingly.

“Fuck you! I am very original.” Elia retaliated grinning. 

“Yeah I know that.” Filippo said. 

Filippo scooted over to Elia with one move and grabbed him by the neck to pull him into a kiss. Elia kissed him back and when they paused he was the one to reach in for another kiss. Filippo would always give him random kisses in the middle of his stories, not that he was complaining about it.

“I climbed up the wall because I was the one to kick it. That’s like our law.” Elia kept on with the story the moment they stopped kissing. 

“Boys…” Filippo silently sighed. 

Elia ignored him but still he couldn’t help but chuckle. Most people would hate to have their stories interrupted in every two sentences. Frankly, Elia thought he hated that too until Filippo. With Filippo his every remark showed that he was truly listening and somehow they contributed to the story. It felt good to have somebody be this interested in dumb, chaotic things he did. 

“I got the ball and I successfully threw it to the boys. As I was coming down my hand slipped and I landed on Marti.” Elia said. He couldn’t hold his laughter anymore, by the time he said Marti he was laughing through the worse.

Filippo had the most shocked and amused face on. If Elia was able to stop laughing for a second he would have given Filo a kiss. 

“I would have done everything to see that moment.” Filippo said joining Elia’s laughter.

It would certainly be interesting if they knew Filippo since then. There was a high chance of Elia developing a cute, embarrassing crush on a slightly older Filo.

“I still don’t know how Marti got out without a scrap and I was the one to break my arm.” Elia said still laughing.

“Anything about your stories with the boys is a mystery.” Filippo answered shrugging. 

“But you love our mysteries and us.” Elia said hesitantly and with a tiny smirk. He was taking a chance. 

Filippo waited for a few seconds before replying and Elia’s heart beat escalated. Elia was pretty sure Filippo was pausing intentionally to get Elia excited. Elia was a player with all the sweet looks and charismatic tricks but Filippo was ten times better than him. If the boys knew about this dynamic they would laugh saying Elia Santini was finally getting a taste of his own medicine.

“I admire Nicco.” Filippo first said with a twinkle in his eyes. “I adore Giovanni and Luca.” he continued as his grin got larger. “I tolerate Martino.” he said jokingly rolling his eyes. 

Elia took a deep breath and gave it out slowly to try and keep his butterflies down. 

“And I really really like you.” Filippo ended with a wink.

This time Elia was the one to initiate the kiss. He grabbed Filo’s face with both of his hands and they started kissing. Somewhere in the middle he felt Filo’s hand move up on his back. They were on such a tight spot between the couch and the table that they wouldn't be able to lie down or even move without one of them smacking their heads. So, they just continued making out like that without taking it to the other step. They were interrupted by Elia’s phone beeping crazily. At the first few beeps they tried ignoring it. Then, it felt like the phone was going to explode so they had no chance but to stop. 

Elia groaned and reached for his phone while Filippo said:

“I bet it’s Luca.” with a smile.

Elia rolled his eyes at Filippo only to see all of the messages were from the contrabbandieri group chat. Elia's heart skipped a beat thinking something bad happened to someone. Turned out, it was only the pictures from the big fancy dinner. 

“It’s Luca.” Elia said biting his cheek.

“What’s he saying?” Filippo asked in a confused tone.

“He sent some photos. They were out having dinner tonight.” Elia briefly explained not wanting to get into any discourse.

It was too late because while Elia was busy with his phone Filippo had grabbed his. Filo showed a picture Nicco posted on his Instagram with all six standing next to each other. 

“Yeah, I can see.” Filippo said in an unusually low voice and Elia wondered if he understood it.

“They said it wasn’t like a date night but everybody going was in couples.” Elia said shrugging to brush over the subject.

“Did you wanted to go?” Filippo asked looking up from his phone. 

Elia could’ve said yes and confronted Filippo about keeping their relationship a secret but he chose to run away from confrontation and lie. 

“No, I mean I rather be alone with you.” Elia said forcing a smirk. 

Filippo waited again before replying; this time Elia was not excited, he was slightly uncomfortable.

“Same here.” Filippo said with a smirk that seemed real to Elia. 

After a little peck on the lips they went back to eating and finishing their beers. The rest of the nigt was great; it was filled with other stupid stories and lots more kisses. The uncomfortable feeling Elia had went away a while later and he was back to laughing and enjoying a night with Filo. In the back of his mind was though, how much he actually wanted to be at that stupid fancy dinner with Filippo by his side.


	2. Episode 2 : Secret At The Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here it is! The second chapter of the Elia season, as promised a week later!!!! 
> 
> In this chapter, we get to know Elia's parents and family and see his relationship between them. 
> 
> Hope you'll like it! Let me know what you think!

**Domenica 10:27 - Ending On A Sad Note**

Like every other weekend Elia was over at his father’s house. His parents got divorced when he was 13, right around the time he met Giovanni and Martino. Elia didn’t tell them at the time but they learned about it a little after that. It wasn’t a long divorce process but the reasoning wasn’t simply that they didn’t get along and well, Elia still felt like he played a part in it. Thus, the remaining guilt. These probably explain why he didn’t do relationships before Filippo. Elia didn’t know much about psychology so he might be wrong too. 

His father worked a lot and his work required him to travel a lot ever since Elia was a kid. After the divorce the traveling increased even more and sometimes his father, Stefano, wouldn’t even be at home on the weekends. Even when his father wasn’t home Elia liked to stay there only because he had the house to himself. 

Right now, they were having breakfast with his father’s poorly made omlette. How did he manage to mess up cracking two eggs on a pan, Elia didn’t know. He definitely didn’t get his kitchen skills from his father. 

“I haven’t seen your friends for a while. How are they? Martino, Giovanni, Luca and…” Stefano started talking breaking the silence.

Elia looked up from his plate with a sigh he was trying to hide. It was not like his father spent so much times with the boys. This was just his effort of showing Elia that he cared about his son’s life. 

“Nicco.” Elia finished with a small smile. His father could have done worse.

“Right, Nicco? I knew that.” Stefano said with a big smile.

“They are doing fine.” Elia answered before acting like his plate had the most interesting thing.

“Martino and Nicco are dating and Nicco is in university.” Stefano stated. 

It felt like he was speaking to himself so Elia found it just best to keep eating the too salty omlette.

“What was he studying?” Stefano asked. 

Now, it was time for the conversation to be a dialogue again. 

“Film.” Elia answered.

“That’s cool.” Stefano said sounding impressed.

Elia knew his father wanted to talk more and have a real conversation. Maybe he was being kind of an asshole child by giving short answers and not paying attention. This was his general mood with his father and if Elia was being objective it was surprising that his father was still trying after all the times Elia acted indifferently. Anyway, he wasn’t going to feel bad because he felt like he had the right to act like this.

After about ten seconds of silence his father was the one to break it again:

“How’s Giovanni? I heard he had a big fight with his parents.” He said carefully.

Elia wondered who told him that. Perhaps his mother when they had a talk (being divorced for five years made them finally be civilized) or maybe he ran into Marti’s mother or Luca’s parents. (Elia doubted Gio’s parents would go around telling all that.) Again, being objective, it was nice that his father asked about Gio so he decided to give a somewhat lengthy answer.

“It was hard at first but he is doing better now.” Elia answered with a genuine smile this time.

Stefano understandingly nodded with a similar smile:

“I am glad.” he said. “I know sometimes he crashes at your mother’s. He can crash here too.” Stefano offered with a fatherly smile.

He definitely heard from my mother then, Elia thought. It was really nice that he was offering this Elia had to admit. 

“Thank you.” Elia answered even with a bigger, more genuine smile.

Elia thought their conversation ended on a sweet note that he would remember this weekend by. He was mistaken because his father decided to jump topics.

“How is the ‘love department’ going? Any girlfriend?” Stefano asked with a wink in the end.

Elia didn’t know what made him cringe more : the ‘love department’ wording or the wink in the end. Of course his father wasn’t going to be the first person that Elia would tell that he had a secret boyfriend also that he was bisexual. Well, Elia probably wouldn't told him if he had a not-secret boyfriend or a girlfriend either. 

“Nope. No one right now.” Elia said immediately reaching for his coffee and chugging it down. 

Elia felt his father eye him for a second and he wondered if by some blood relation thing he understood that Elia was lying. 

“Come on, you can tell me. I can give you advice!” at last Stefano said excitedly.

The thing with Elia was that he wasn’t that careful about what came out of his mouth. Like how at their fight with Marti even though Marti was coming mostly at Gio about Eva and Canegallo he was the one to snap back. 

“I don’t think I want your advice.” Elia said under his breath. 

He saw the moment his father’s little excitement fell apart and he kinda felt bad but what’s said was said. Okay, he didn’t want his fathers advice, that part was true. Still, he didn’t have to say it out loud. If only he could hold his tongue.

Stefano cleared his throat and got up: 

“Do you want more coffee?” he said reaching for Elia’s mug while avoiding eye contact.

Before Elia could answer he grabbed Elia’s mug and his own mug. He walked to the counter and started pouring the coffee with his back turned to Elia who was still seated in the circular, too big for the two of them table. 

Turned out, the conversation ended on a sad note Elia would remember the weekend by.

* * *

**Lunedi 12:01 - Espresso & Cappuccino**

It was break time in between their awfully boring classes. Break time basically was coffee time for Elia and the boys and most of Italy and probably the world. Elia embraced his love for coffee as a characteristic whereas half the world loved coffee. Still, nobody loved coffee like Elia. Okay, maybe Giovanni did and Marti did and Luca did… Anyway. 

For this particular break it was Elia and Luca going to get coffees from the machine because the second the bell rang Eva and Gio ran out of the class together and Marti had something to talk with their history teacher. So, Luca became his savior by founding him at the classroom door. 

Now, they were walking to the downstairs coffee vending machine together. Elia already planned what he was getting : espresso. It was the only thing to get him through Mondays. He also knew what Luca was getting without him saying : cappuccino. 

“Silvia wants to do a program for the radio with me!” Luca said with a big smile. 

Not that Elia would say it out loud, he was able to hold his tongue at this topic, but he really didn’t think the radio would still be going strong a year later. He was really surprised at how well they were doing. They even got Elia to listen to it regularly-that said something.

“Wow! Luchino, that’s really cool!” Elia said trying to match Luca’s excitement. “What are you going to talk about?” he asked putting an arm around Luca’s shoulder.

“I don’t know.” Luca said lightly shrugging. “But I have to do good. She cares about the radio so much.” he added in a serious tone. 

“You are naturally funny. You’ll do great!” Elia answered him squeezing Luca’s shoulder, trying to comfort him.

He then, stopped Luca by grabbing his shoulder:

“Just follow her lead.” Elia said this time with a smirk and a wink. 

Luca’s shoulders and whole demeanor relaxed and he let out a little chuckle. Success, Elia thought. 

They had just arrived in front of the machine. Elia put in the coins and waited to hear them drop. After that he made his choice. Or more likely Luca’s choice. He didn’t know from what but he definitely owned Luca coffee from something. The machine started making noises that meant that the cappuccino was being prepared. 

Luca was leaning his side against the wall, next to the machine. When the machine went back to being silent again Elia leaned down to grab the cup. As he grabbed the cup and straightened again Luca started talking.

“Thank you.” Luca said softly. 

Elia stared at Luca confusedly for a good five seconds.

“I didn’t even give you the coffee yet.” Elia said with a scowl. 

Now, it was time for Luca to be confused and he stared back at Elia for a few seconds too.

“I though that was your coffee.” Luca said with a similar scowl, still leaning against the wall.

Elia took a step towards the wall and extend the cup over to Luca:

“Cappuccino for you.” He said with a smile. Luca’s energy really affected Elia; when he was around Luca he always talked with a bigger smile, in a cheerier voice. “I think I owe you one from a bet last week?” He finished with a question.

“You knew I wanted cappuccino.” Luca said in such an emotional tone that Elia thought he might start crying.

“Of course I did Luchino.” Elia answered laughing. It still surprised Elia how simple it was to make Luca happy.

Luca moved forward to throw himself at Elia. Thankfully, Elia also guessed that he would do that so he stopped him before a disaster happened.

“You are holding coffee Luca, coffee!” Elia said taking a step back with a laugh. 

“Right, right.” Luca said as if he was just realizing that now. "Hug reserved for later then.” he continued taking a step back and laughing too. 

Elia shook his head and went back to getting a coffee for himself. The whole process lasted about thirty seconds and Elia was still laughing by himself. When he got his cup of espresso he was trying to stop his laughter. 

“Why did you thank me before?” Elia asked suddenly remembering that premature sentence.

Luca took a sip from his coffee and gulped it down:

“Yeah that was about me and Silvia.” he said. Then, he cleared his throat and tried to stand as straightly as possible so Elia understood that the topic was somewhat serious. “I know we can be a bit too much but you stand us and you are like friends with Siliva now too. So thank you.” Luca said with the sweetest smile. 

They were having too much emotion for a regular Monday midday. Luca, aside from having the power to spread the most positive energy also had the ability to leave Elia speechless. The duality of a best friend, Elia thought. 

Elia cleared his throat:

“You guys are fun to hang out with even when you are a bit too much.” he said with a grin.

Elia didn’t have a problem with third wheeling them. Luca and Silvia included him in conversations and they weren’t sucking each other’s face every moment. They were a good choice to third wheel. His real problem was not being able to bring Filippo over to any couple related events. That’s what bothered him; that he had a relationship he needed to keep a secret not that his alone times with Luca had decreased.

Luca replied with a grin too, followed by:

“I would say don’t be sad that you are the single one but you are not really single.” He said his grin turning into a smirk. 

Elia nearly choked on his espresso. How the fuck did Luca figured that out? He was being really careful and was crafting the perfect lies as well as trying to keep his calm every time Filippo’s name was said. If Luca didn’t have any hidden cameras in their respective houses then there was no way he could have known. No way, Elia repeated in his mind to cool down.

“I-I am single. You know that-“ Elia was struggling to get the sentences out when Luca somehow missed his panic-stricken state. 

“I mean it’s not like you are not hooking up with people. I know you are breaking hearts all over Rome.” Luca said winking. 

Elia literally took a deep breath and gave it out at the end of Luca’s sentence. It was just a little misworded joke on Luca’s behalf that almost gave Elia a heart attack. He wanted to reach in and smack Luca on the head but that would’ve exposed his secret.

“That’s true.” Elia said trying to play along. “Nobody can resist the Santini charm.” he finished off forcing a side smirk.

It was true that ‘nobody was able to resist the Santini charm’ but there was only one person right now that Elia wanted to impress with his trademarked charm. If only Elia could show that certain Sava off too.

* * *

**Mercoledi 19:58 - Gender Roles**

Elia was actually (meaning not a lie or a cover up) at a family dinner on this fine Wednesday evening. It was with his mother’s side, obviously. His father was an only child and Elia only met a handful of his relatives. On his mother’s side though, with his two uncles, their wives and his five cousins it was a big family. They had these family dinners at least once every three weeks. There was also his mother’s parents, his mother’s two aunts, kid’s of his mother’s cousins and so on that he occasionally saw too. 

Uncle Dario and his wife Laura had three kids : Pietro who was 13, Christian who was 17 and Irene who was 23. Uncle Antonio, who was the youngest brother, and his wife Miriam had two kids : Valentina who was 15 and Leonardo who was 18. Looking at the trend Elia sometimes wondered why he was an only child. It seemed to him like his mother would want one more kid too. Maybe his parents had an argument over this when he was little. 

During these dinners his uncles mostly got on his nerves with their weird statements. Aunt Laura would back them up too while Aunt Miriam was usually in the middle shutting them up when needed to. His mother, Carina, was used to the ways of her brothers so she would roll her eyes and laugh at them. 

His cousins were another story. Christian was basically a carbon copy of his father while Pietro was constantly under Christian’s shadow. Leonardo was the most silent and well-behaved of them and his younger sister Valentina was his exact opposite; she was the loudest person ever. Irene was the one Elia got along the best. She was really witty and snarky. The two would constantly lock eyes during these dinners with its weird conversations and almost telepathically talk.

“Irene, you should take some lessons on arancini.” Dario said playing with the crumbled arancini on his plate. 

“I told you I wasn’t good at making it.” Irene replied taking a sip from her beer.

Anybody over the age of 18 at these dinners was allowed to drink. One of the positive sides of the night for Elia.

“I tried teaching it to you so many times.” Laura said agreeing with Dario. She didn’t even got any of it on her plate; smart move, Elia thought. 

“We have a food genius on the table.” Irene replied this time pointing at Elia who was across the table. “I also told you Elia should have done it.” she added with a twinkle on her eyes that Elia caught.

She did tell them and Elia was eager to do it but no, the job fell on Irene’s shoulders and Elia was to play FIFA with the boys. He didn’t exactly oppose to the playing video games part. Still, he would have prepared whatever meal the parents ordered him to do. 

The uncles pretended they didn’t hear her say it so they didn’t have to reply to that. 

“She doesn’t know how to cook anything.” Christian said butting in with a smirk. Elia saw Irene roll her eyes at her brother.

“Do you know how to cook anything Christian?” Elia asked beating Christian at the smirk game and coming in support of his favorite cousin.

“I don’t need to.” Christian replied with the most insincere smile. 

Elia, Irene and Valentina groaned and rolled their eyes at the same time. Valentine was thankfully much more like Elia and Irene and less like Christian.

“HELLO, CHRIS!” Valentina shouted waving at Christian. "Welcome to the 21st CENTURY!” Valentina kept shouting, even louder now. 

Antonio, her father, jumped up from the noise which made the kids want to laugh but they managed to keep themselves together. 

“Indoor voices Val, please.” Antonio said turning to her daughter. 

Valentina mumbled a little sorry which made Elia nearly lose it again but he again, stopped himself from laughing.

“She can learn when the time comes around.” Miriam said in the most fake nice voice ever.

Elia knew this move. She was trying to end the conversation. Sometimes these meals felt too calculated, almost scripted. It was like somebody put them all together to ignite arguments and then, there was the mediator like Aunt Miriam or his mom. Most of their fights somehow revolved around Elia’s love for cooking which Elia tried to not take as an offense but seriously what was up with that? He wanted to yell at everyone about all the famous male chefs that his aunts followed the recipes to. That was like the superficial thing to get them to stop coming at Elia but really it had everything to do with gender roles and all. Irene was more educated on that, not because she was a ~~girl-~~ woman but she got like gender classes in university and… God, he was even trying to be politically correct in his thoughts. That was actually a good thing. Anyway, that’s why he left the educating the family on feminism and gender roles to Irene. 

(Elia didn’t admit this to Irene or said it out loud but there were times his uncles got to him too. Not when they said Irene and Valentina should cook and clean and the boys shouldn’t do any of it. But, when they talked about how since his mother and father were divorced he was the man of the house Elia couldn’t help but be affected by that, couldn't help but feel responsible.)

“What if I don’t get married?" Irene asked smirking and sending a look at Elia’s way.

Elia also knew this move, she had decided that she was going to enjoy this talk and mess with the family.

“Just focus on finishing your school for now honey.” Laura, Irene’s mother, said with a smile but she had the warning eyes of a mother.

“Or what if I am together with a woman. Which one of us will do the cooking and cleaning then?” Irene asked raising her right eyebrow with a cockier smirk.

And that was the finishing blow. As much as narrow minded his uncles and aunts were they weren’t like for example Gio’s parents. They knew the line or more likely they knew when to stop talking and when to stop voicing their some controversial opinions. So, in short they thought they had the right to interfere with their kids’ lives but they were not not-accepting. Also, they avoided interfering with stranger’s lives; they would criticize the strangers when they didn’t understand but they didn’t take it too far. 

“I think it’s time for the dessert. Don’t you think?” Carina, Elia’s mom, said getting up from her seat.

She mostly looked at Elia while saying that which was a warning look too, just like the one Laura shot at Irene. Elia opened his eyes widely and raised his eyebrows as if to say ‘What? I didn’t say anything.’

“That’s a great idea!” Dario said with a pleased look on his face as he reached in for his cigarettes.

“Let me help you.” Miriam said following Elia’s mom into the kitchen. 

It was their house after all so even if his mom knew where everything was Aunt Miriam followed her anyway. 

Elia shook his head with a little smile as he took a sip from his beer. His eyes connected with Irene again and both of them rolled their eyes at the same time. He would have definitely gone crazy in this family without Irene to keep him company.

“For your information, I really make the best arancini.” Elia said with a grin specifically looking between Uncle Dario and Uncle Antonio.

The smile on both men’s faces fell a little but they once again pretended that they didn’t hear what Elia said. Elia looked at Irene who let out a little laugh at his remark. She approvingly shook her head up and down and raised her beer bottle. Valentina and Leonardo were also smiling a little at Elia while Christian was cornering poor Pietro over something. 

At least Elia knew who would do the cooking between him and Filippo.

* * *

**Giovedi 20:32 - Happy-Happy**

Elia hadn’t seen Filippo since Monday afternoon which felt like since forever to him. Especially because he had to see Gio with Eva the the whole day and Luca with Silvia the whole day, he missed Filippo even more. Honestly, he didn’t know how Marti did it. Maybe because Marti and Nicco lived together. 

Elia perhaps was this needy because they were still in the first love-sick phase of their relationship. Calling it a relationship felt weird to Elia first because aside from that girl Elia dated for three weeks in 9th grade Filippo was his first real relationship. Second, because they never really referred to each other as boyfriends but they weren’t merely doing physical stuff. Was it always this hard being in relationships?

Tonight they were over at Filippo’s house again because the girls were catching a movie or something so Eleonora wouldn’t be home until like 10 pm. At this point, Eleonora’s active social life was benefitting Elia the most. 

Originally, they were supposed to watch some old black and white French movie (side effects of dating an artsy university student) but the plan derailed when they started getting way more focused on kissing and their own talk. 

Right now, they were making out on the couch with the movie still running in the back. French people arguing wasn't the most romantic background noise but Elia didn’t care. Filippo’s hand was on Elia’s face and Elia was running a hand through Filippo’s now yellow hair. 

When they stopped for a breath of air they looked at each other and smiled. Soon after Filippo bursted out laughing.

“What?” Elia asked joining in Filo’s laughter without understanding why.

“You are the only person that made me not watch a Godard movie.” Filippo said his laugh turning back to a big smile.

“I warned you about the power of my charm.” Elia said cockily smiling and throwing arm on the back of the couch.

“Yes, yes you did Santini.” Filippo said leaning for another kiss. 

This kiss was less of a passionate making out but more of a sweet one. After a few kisses they broke apart again now with smitten smiles on both of their faces.

All of a sudden Filippo got up from the couch and ran inside leaving Elia confused once again.

“Filo!” Elia shouted after him but there was no answer so Elia had no choice but to impatiently wait.

About thirty seconds later Filippo came back running again this time holding his beloved camera. Of course Filippo ran to get his camera, Elia thought connecting the dots.

“Make that face again.” Filippo said getting near the couch again while doing some, what Elia guessed to be, light adjustments on the camera.

“What face?” Elia said laughing and playfully rolling his eyes. 

Filippo looked up from the camera to Elia’s face for a second. Filo stared right into his eyes and Elia froze up with a huge grin on his face not knowing how to act like under Filippo’s intense gaze. 

“That works too.” Filippo said shrugging and holding up the camera to his eye level.

Filippo took shots after shots of him while Elia kept laughing not knowing exactly how to pose like. Sure, he was a cool guy and sure, he knew the poses he looked cool in. In fact he tried making some of that poses where he looked right at the camera with glassy eyes or where he smirked in a certain way. Then, a few seconds later he would go back to smiling or laughing-he couldn’t help it. 

“Are you done using me as a model?” Elia finally was able to ask.

Filippo put the camera on the couch:

“I don’t know are you done looking like that?” He asked biting his lip through a smile.

“If you are going to take fifty pictures of me every time I look handsome then we will have a problem.” Elia said confidently raising his eyebrows.

“I was actually taking picture of you looking happy.” Filippo said with a sweet smile. After pausing for a second he added, “Like happy-happy.”

Elia was taken aback by what Filippo said and also by how Filippo said it with his eyes shining and with the nicest smile on. He knew he was happy because he was with Filo but he didn’t know he looked “happy-happy”. He also didn’t realize he was that happy that it was recognizable by other people. Or maybe it was only recognizable to Filippo because he was Filippo, because he was the reason behind the happiness.

“I hope I look good while I am happy-happy.” Elia managed to say but his confident tone was swapped with an impressed tone.

“You do.” Filippo quickly answered before leaning in for a little peck on the lips.

After that tender kiss they sat silently looking at each other for a while. Both of their arms were swung across the back of the couch with their hands just at touching distance. Elia was brushing Filippo’s left hand with his fingers. Then, maybe because of the power of the moment he at last decided to say what was on his mind for the past week.

“But when can I-when can we be happy happy out in the public?” Elia asked silently, unnatural of him, while still brushing Filippo’s hand.

Filippo pulled his arm from the back of the couch and rested it on his lap. His back got straighter too.

“I thought you liked the mystery and sneaking around and spy work and all.” Filippo said seriously, unnatural of him. 

Elia hoped they weren’t in for a fight or an argument because it wasn’t what he aimed at. He just wanted to get the thing off of his chest; he didn’t like hiding what he felt from Filo.

“I do. I do. But I also want to bring you to the skate park, drag you to parties, to couples nights.” Elia answered still silently. 

“I don’t really skate but…” Filippo started trying to make a joke out of it. But Elia guessed he realized he couldn’t so he paused. “We can tell one or two people each if you want? But not to everybody especially not to Martino.” Filippo suggested hesitantly.

It wasn’t exactly what Elia wanted but he heard before from other people that relationships were about meeting in the middle. So, he let go of what he actually wanted and settled for Filippo’s plan.

“Yeah, that could be nice.” Elia said thinking he looked less happy happy now.

As soon as the sentence was finished they heard the front door shut. Because they were talking and because the French movie was still rolling in the background they probably didn’t hear the noise of the key turning around in the keyhole. Elia and Filippo both looked at each other for a moment frozen in fear before Elia quickly grabbed his jacket and bag and ran to the kitchen. As he ran he saw in the corner of his eye Filippo rushing over to the door. 

It was obviously Eleonora as she had a key. Elia missed the first few sentences while putting on his jacket and bag in case he had to run to the door in any second. They were good at sneaking around with a plan; they were still weak at any sudden changes or sudden runs. Elia wished the Savas lived on a lower floor so that he could escape from a window. He caught their talk when Filippo asked:

“I thought you wouldn’t be home for another hour.” Elia didn’t miss the little panic in his voice. 

“I got a call…” Eleonora said. This time Elia heard the nervousness in her voice. “…from the lawyer.” she said giving out a breath.

And Elia himself held his breath waiting for Eleonora’s explanation. He really hope that bastard got what he deserved.

“And?” Filippo asked softly and Elia was sure it was the first time he ever heard Filo be this soft.

“He was found guilty.” Eleonora said giving out another breath and Elia was now hearing the relief in her voice. “The lawyer said she’ll call about more details of his punishment but yeah.” She added getting more relaxed in every word.

Elia knew it was risky but he opened the kitchen door just a little bit to peek at the Sava siblings. 

Filippo had just wrapped Eleonora in a big hug and both of them were smiling big. He wanted to go and join in or at least say something nice to Eleonora but he stood his place silently watching them with an equally soft smile. 

He only hoped he would be able to sneak out without being seen.

* * *

**Venerdi 21:18 - Secrets At The Party**

Elia was at a party somebody from their year was throwing. Was it Gabriele or Daniele or Samuel? Maybe it was all of them. It had been so long since all of them went to a big house party with people all over their high school plus Rome. Lately, they have been having exclusive parties only for their inner circle. Their inner circle had at least ten people all the time. Sometimes people would bring over a friend, a cousin basically a plus one. There was also like Edoardo and the other Villa Boys that were somehow in their inner circle but most of them were studying in another city so they were only there half of the time. Anyway, the point was that Elia had missed the big parties where he could drink as much as he could and smoke and dance with strangers in the middle of the room and mess around houses.

He was standing in a corner with a vodka-soda in his hand (which was his third of the night) and was watching the people around him. At the other end of the room Silvia and Luca were dancing. Luca had the stupidest moves which were making Elia laugh even from far away but Silvia seemed to like it. (If Filippo was there they could have danced together too. And they would kiss all sweaty but not caring about it.) Near the windows, Eleonora and Edoardo were standing chatting, laughing and kissing. They had been the most relaxed Elia had seen them for the past two months. Eleonora probably had the trauma of it all still but knowing that he was being punished must be a relief. (If Filippo was there they could have celebrated this bit of relief with Eleonora and Edoardo.) Federica and Sana were totally the stars of the dance floor along with some other girls from their year Elia recognized from their faces. Gio had a shift today so he was going to come in a little late. Elia was searching the crowd for Marti and Eva when somebody familiar approached him from behind. 

“Hey!” Nicco said giving Elia a pat on the shoulder from the back.

Elia turned around with a smile to meet Nicco’s face. They did a quick handshake involving one or two moves. Then, Nicco walked in front of him and started standing with Elia at the corner, leaning against the wall. 

“I didn’t know you were coming. Marti said…” Elia said but stopped in the middle of the sentence not knowing how to phrase Nicco’s wellbeing of the other day. Gio was so much better at this and Luca had the naiveté charm so whatever wrong thing he said was received with a smile anyway.

“Yeah, I wasn’t feeling so well yesterday. But today I felt better and I decided to tag along.” Nicco said nodding with a smile.

Nicco didn’t seem to take what Elia was about to say wrongly or anything so Elia felt like he did good. Elia flashed his biggest smile to Nicco.

“So, do you miss the high school crowd?” Elia said pointing at the many people in the room who were clearly very drunk.

“I miss a part of the crowd.” Nicco said with a mischievous smile. 

“The crowd misses you too.” Elia said winking. 

Then, he extended his fist for Nicco and Nicco instantly gave him the fist bump. 

“Where is your boyfriend by the way? How did he stop clinging on to you?” Elia said not missing the opportunity of messing with Martino.

“He is not that clingy.” Nicco answered as the good boyfriend he was. 

Elia raised his eyebrows over his glass of vodka to mean ‘Are you sure?’. It made Nicco gave in pretty easily because Marti was a little clingy. (That was brave coming from Elia considering how clingy he was with Filippo behind closed doors.)

“Maybe he is.” Nicco said with a little laugh but from his eyes Elia understood Nicco actually enjoyed it a lot. “He is looking after Eva.” Nicco answered his smile falling down a little.

“Why?” Elia asked getting worried. 

“She drank too much, too fast.” Nicco answered with his smile gone now.

Elia’s mind flashed back to last year when those assholes approached a drunk Eva and Marti had to help her which led to a fight which led to another fight. None of them could take a repetition of that. 

As if on cue, Marti walked into the room dragging Eva with him. Eva was leaning on to him and he had an arm around her waist to keep her standing. 

“NICCO!” Eva yelled and jumped on Nicco. 

Elia turned to look at Marti who just gave out a deep breath. Elia had a worried scowl on his face to which Marti replied to by shaking his head up and down, meaning ‘It’s okay.’

“ELIAAAA!” Eva shouted a second later and jumped on him. 

He almost dropped down the vodka filled glass but by some chance he managed to not only hold it tightly but also to not spill anything. Nicco saw him struggling and grabbed the glass out of his hand and put it aside. Now, Eva was leaning onto Elia and Elia was trying to keep her standing.

“When is Gio coming?” She asked in a whiny voice leaning her head to Elia's shoulder.

“He’ll be here soon.” Elia answered softly. 

“Really?” Eva said suddenly raising her head up with a big smile.

Elia chuckled at her reaction and shared a look with Marti and Nicco.

“Really!” He answered still chuckling. 

After that, Elia didn’t miss Marti and Nicco sharing a serious look between each other and then looking at Eva. It felt to him that something he wasn’t a part of was going on. He was curious but he didn’t know how to learn about it.

As if on cue once again, Elia saw Giovanni walking over to them in the crowd. Elia raised his hand to show him where they were and Gio started walking faster with a smile on his face. The moment, he arrived next to them Eva let go of him and jumped onto Giovanni who wrapped his arms around her waist. Eva’s hands were on Gio’s neck and she dived into a kiss. (If Filippo was there they could be drunkenly making out too.)

Once the kiss was over and the excitement of seeing her boyfriend, Eva was back to barely standing up. Elia saw worry spread to Gio’s face and he started holding Eva tighter, more protectively. 

“What happened?” Gio asked looking at the boys. 

“She drank too fast.” Marti immediately answered. 

Marti looked panicked than normal even given the circumstances or anything that happened in the past. There was definitely something going on.

Giovanni, took out his jean jacket and threw it over Eva’s shoulder. As much as Elia was happy to see his bestfriend be with the girl he loved, watching them made him want Filippo next to him even more. He grabbed his vodka back from where Nicco placed it. 

“Gio…” Eva started talking. “We said no lies right? NO LIES!” she finished shouting the last part. 

Elia wasn’t too distracted by his own feelings and his drink so he also didn’t miss the way Marti tensed or basically froze at Eva’s sentence. 

“Yes and there are no lies, okay?” Gio said sweetly rubbing her back.

“NO! I need to tell you something.” Eva said slurring her last words. 

Marti was still frozen and now Nicco was looking like he wanted to interfere but he didn’t know how. Elia put his almost finished glass back down. He was trying to make sense of the clues he was picking up but they were leading to nowhere. 

“Eva, hey…” Nicco finally talked. “Let’s get some fresh air. What do you say?” He said approaching her. 

“WAIT! I have to tell something to Gio first.” Eva said going back to her whiny voice. 

Elia, even though he didn’t know what was going on, wanted to interfere and stop this scene too. Marti had a freaking out, scared face on him Elia clearly recognized now. It wasn’t the place or time or condition for Giovanni to hear whatever it was that Eva wanted to say, that Marti didn’t want it to be said. Nicco was still waiting for Eva to say okay to her plan of getting out. Thinking of his friends and taking on his routine role to get his friends out of tough situations Elia thought of something to say.

“Or maybe we should get some coffee for you Eva?” Elia offered with a nice smile. 

His eyes trailed over to Marti who was giving him a thankful look for some reason. He then looked at Gio who seemed to approve of his plan who was nodding thankfully too but for a totally other reason.

Eva opened her mouth to talk but before a word could come out she closed her mouth with her hand. A second later she ran away without looking at any of the boys. Because she moved quickly and without holding it, Gio’s jacket fell down from her shoulders behind her. 

Gio was about to move forward to follow her but Eleonora had by some miracle seen what was going on and she was already on her way. 

“I’ve got her.” Eleonora said putting a hand on Gio’s arm as she passed by them. 

Elia looked at Martino who was avoiding his gaze but at least he didn’t look frozen like before. Marti rubbed his head and gave out a breath. Elia wondered if the contrabbandieri will ever be free of secrets. Nicco went next to his boyfriend and threw his arm around his shoulder and gave him a little, comforting kiss on the head. 

“Hey, everybody good?” Edoardo asked walking over to them.

Elia guessed after Eleonora left him and followed Eva he came into check on with the boys. 

“Yeah, we are all good.” Elia answered on behalf of everyone with a smile at Edoardo’s way. 

The other boys nodded and Edoardo proceeded to do little handshakes and pats on shoulders with each of them. 

“Marti, what was that about?” Gio asked going back to his worried face with his eyebrows furrowed. He was tightly holding the jacket Eva left behind her.

“I don’t know.” Marti managed to say so quietly. 

A silence fell over them. Nicco already seemed to know what was going on. Elia knew Marti was lying and Elia also knew that, Gio knew Marti was lying. Edoardo at least felt the weird silence that could be cut with a knife. Where was Luca when they needed him? Luchino could have easily soften the atmosphere. 

“Did you miss the high school crowd?” Elia asked looking at Edoardo and deciding to take up on Luca’s role.

“Not all of the crowd but I miss some parts of it.” Edoardo answered with a cheeky smile.

“That’s what Nicco said!” Elia said with a laugh which was genuine but he was also still trying to lighten up the mood.

At the mention of his name Nicco started paying more attention to the conversation.

“Yeah I said that too!” Nicco said with a smile. He raised his hand that wasn’t on Marti’s shoulder up and Edoardo gave him a high five.

Even Marti had a little smile on his face now probably upon seeing his boyfriend happy especially after the past days that was hard on Nicco. 

Giovanni was checking the corridor every two seconds. Elia guessed it was to see if he can spot Eva. By chance, Gio was standing next to him. So he leaned in and silently said:

“She’ll be fine. She’s got the other mom friend with her.” Elia said with a little smirk. 

Gio turned to Elia while shaking his head. A smile had spread through Gio’s face. Best friend duties done, Elia thought. Giovanni then, hit him hard on the arm which meant that he was back to feeling normal.

A minute later all the boys were back into conversation with their topics changing between serious stuff like what their futures going to be like and the most dumbs stuff like how many chips they could eat in a minute. 

_If only Filippo was there too._ He could have helped Elia switch the mood or help him deal with his friends generally. Elia tried not thinking about this constantly but it was hard even after seeing some cryptic drama between Eva and Gio (and Marti).

At the latest, they had agreed upon telling about the two of them to one or two people. Elia had no idea who to tell. Martino was out of the question like Filippo said; they wouldn’t hear the end of it. Gio seemed like a good choice because he could have given Elia advice but also be his idiot self and joke around to make Elia feel comfortable. Still, his choice was probably going to be Luca because well, he was Luca. Just as Giovanni was the first one Marti came out to Luchino was his first choice.

They needed to finish this night off peacefully first for Elia to come to that point. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!
> 
> The conversation in the family dinner seemed to cliche and simple as I was writing but I have literally been a part of similar talks so I thought it turned out good. The reason why Elia is so cold against his father will also be developed more!
> 
> Also, I love Luca and Elia's friendship! Hope I was able to stay true to their characters and dynamic.
> 
> And obviously Elippo! They are so smitten with each other but their drama comes from the keeping it a secret part.
> 
> Like I said in the Gio Season's last chapter Eleonora had decided to testify against Edoardo's brother. I wanted to give a conclusion to that as part of a background story and wanted to show a glimpse of Sava siblings. I searched Italian laws but I couldn't guess an appropriate punishment so I left it vaguely. 
> 
> Also a little explanation : in the Gio Season fic, Gio's parents especially his dad was typical modern "fascists" really meaning they were right-winged and homophobic, sexist etc. but very open and proud about it. That's what Elia refers to in his thoughts.
> 
> And I think most of you can guess what was the drama and the secret in the party... 
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr : youleavebehindmemories.tumblr.com


	3. Episode 3 : Secret Relationship?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Sorry, this is delayed a day. In my defence, on Friday finale of The Good Place, final season of Bojack Horseman, the Taylor Swift documentary and Uncut Gems came out so I had to watch a lot of stuff. Anyway, next week I promise I will try to pull it back to Monday!
> 
> This chapter/episode is filled with a lot of individual moments Elia has with people in his life. Things are getting a bit complicated overally. There are a lot of references to Elia's backstory that I will discover in the next chapters. But also I think some of them can be guessed from here!
> 
> Hope you'll like it!

**Domenica 13:19 - Identities**

The thing was that Elia was great at cooking. He said that proudly and he tried to show it off as much as possible (provided he had the ingredients, the times they starved in Bracciano wasn’t on him). Sadly, he wasn’t so good at baking. He didn’t know what it was but even when he followed recipes step-by-step his cakes, his tiramisus, his cheescakes-they never turned out the way he wanted. Elia didn’t give up though. Only if he had this same kind of ambition for school work too. The fact that Filippo loved lemon cheesecake was the push that was getting him through that day.

He was just puting the cheesecake into the refrigerator to have it cool down when the door bell rang. Elia knew who it was before opening the door, it was Nicco. Nicco asked if he could film Elia for a documentary-type movie project he was doing and Elia happily agreed to it. On Elia’s book when a friend asked for help you would always say yes. Also, he knew he would look good on camera. Whatever it was that Nicco asked him to do he knew he could pull it off.

Elia opened the door with a big smile which Nicco replied with an equally big smile. They managed to hug briefly without Nicco dropping the camera bag he had on his shoulder nor the tripod in his hand; so, that was a success.

“Thank you so much for doing this.” Nicco said beaming as Elia closed the door.

“That’s what contrabbandieri is for.” Elia said shrugging with a grin.

Then, Elia led Nicco into his room. Elia realized that, that was the first time Nicco was properly coming over to his place (to his mother’s place) aside from the drop ins from the door. Nicco set up the camera, which looked a lot like Filo’s digital camera, on the tripod and pulled up the chair on Elia’s desk beside it. Elia settled on his bed that had it’s longer side right against the wall. 

“So, what’s your documentary about?” Elia asked with his laid back smile.

Nicco looked up from the camera, he was just trying to fix the settings. 

“The theme is identity.” Nicco answered and went back to looking at the camera’s screen.

Identity. That was a loaded topic as much as Elia knew. Was it about sexual identity? That was the first thing that came to his mind. Not because Niccolo was gay but because he had recently discovered that he was bisexual. He didn’t really mind coming out to Nicco and he could also be the one Elia tells about him and Filippo. Still, he didn’t feel like saying this out loud for the first time in a student film.

“What about identity?” Elia asked clearing his throat. 

Nicco took a few seconds to answer probably because he was doing the final settings. After he was seemingly done he leaned back in his chair. 

“Anything really. It’s about how you define yourself. Is it about where you stand politically? Is it about your religion or…” Nicco paused there and raised his eyebrows. ."..your sexuality? Or maybe it’s about all the different identities you have in life? How are you as a son, as a friend, as a boyfriend? It’s all up to you.” He explained with a soft smile.

In retrospect, that was a really good theme for a documentary type film. Everybody defined themselves differently, obviously, and there was different priorities for different people. Like the first thing Gio would talk about would be how he was as a friend and a brother. Luca would probably talk about how his role in life was to cheer people up. Marti might start with his sexuality but it would eventually lead to a story about how he found his identity. Elia…he didn’t know what to start with. Even if he was out to Nicco and all he didn’t know if he would start with his sexuality. 

“That’s a real cool concept.” He answered shaking his head up and down nervously.

Nicco measured him from top to bottom probably sensing his sudden lack of confidence. So, Elia tried to look more comfortable. He didn’t know how much of that he achieved though.

“I don’t have to record it right away. We can talk first?” Nicco suggested with kind eyes and a nice smile.

“It’s just I don’t know what to start with.” Elia said opting for a vague version of a deeper truth.

“You can talk about multiple things. It’s not like in life we have one version, one identity. What you start with doesn’t have to be your biggest identity. Just talk about yourself. That’s it.” Nicco explained further still keeping his nice tone.

Elia knew Nicco wanted to work in fictional movies. Was that the correct term?, he thought. Whatever. He knew in the future Nicco’s plan was to write and direct his original movies but just the way he was trying to get Elia as comfortable as possible showed that he might be good for documentaries too. Or maybe it just showed that he would make his actors comfortable on set too. Whatever it was, it was a good quality Nicco had. 

Elia sighed and looked around his room. There were a couple posters up on the wall of the rock bands he listened to. On the white wall above his desk were two photos : a photo of him, Gio and Marti when they were 14 and a photo of all the boys from last summer. A little bit of color would look good there. Elia sighed. 

“Is it okay if I don’t talk about like romance? Don’t want people to think I am a playboy.” He asked with a wink to cover up the real reason why he was asking it. 

If Elia was not mistaken he saw Nicco’s eyes get even softer.

“Yeah, sure. It’s whatever you want to talk about.” Nicco said with a smile and a meaningful look that Elia didn’t understand what it was telling.

“Okay. I think I got it.” Elia said going back to his more confident posture with his back straight and his charming smile.

“Should we start?” Nicco asked with one of his hands on the camera.

Elia nodded and Nicco pressed something on the camera. Then, Nicco did a thumbs up and shake his head to let Elia know he can start talking.

“My name is Elia and I am 18.” Elia said and cursed himself almost immediately for having such a weak start. He took a deep breath and continued, “My identity is a combination of a lot of things.” 

That was a good hook he thought, just an intriguing and a brief enough introduction. Nicco nodding with a smile at him also proved that he was going good. 

“I don’t exactly know where I stand in a political scale but I believe in equal rights and all. I guess that puts me on the left side.” Elia said showing his left hand. Great joke, he thought and groaned internally. “I believe in God and I am a Christian but I don’t pray all the time. ” He added making a cross shape in the air. 

Elia paused for a few seconds thinking about what he was going to say next when Nicco raised his hand to stop him. Then, Nicco pointed at himself to show that he was going to say something, maybe ask a question Elia guessed.

“What roles do you think you take in life? Can you talk about those?” Nicco said in the most professional tone Elia had seen him talk in.

Thank God Nicco asked a question to lead Elia somewhere because he didn’t know what to say next before. 

“I believe I am a good friend. Not the best definitely but I am trying to be good.” Elia said with a small smile. 

Nicco gave him a look with his head tilted to the side that meant something like ‘Come on, you are a great friend.’ 

“I am also trying to be a good son, partially.” He continued. 

Elia didn’t know if Nicco or other people watching this would get what he meant by partially. Basically, it mean that he was trying to be a good son with his mother and he was just being an okay son with his father.

“Do you think you have a specific role you take in life?” Nicco asked again using the few seconds Elia chose to pause.

This question only prompted a longer silence from Elia. He didn’t know if he had a specific role in life, in the lives of other people. What was he exactly to the contrabbandieri? Giovanni was the mom friend, Luca was like the life of the party always making them laugh, Marti was the person to make them see a logical side of things, Nicco was the hip artistic guy that taught them something new. Sure, Elia cooked but did it really add something to their lives. What did he add to Filippo’s life especially when Elia knew Filo knew much more interesting people?

“I try to be a like protector but I only try.” Elia first said but he knew he wasn’t really able to protect anybody. "I don’t know if I have role.” Elia continued giving out a deep breath. “Maybe I do…” Elia paused and looked at Nicco who had a little concerned look on his face.”...but I feel like that’s for other people to decide. Other people know what you mean to them in their lives. They know what is your role.” He quickly finished to seem smart in his answer and not just sad. 

There was some truth to the last part of the answer too. He truly believed maybe the guys and Filippo saw something in him that he didn’t. (Or maybe he just wished.)

After seeing Elia had nothing else to add Nicco clicked on something on the camera and paused it. 

“Did I do good?” Elia said putting on a relieved smile and half-lying on his bed. 

“Yeah, it was great!” Nicco said putting the camera in its bag. 

After Nicco zipped the bag up he folded the tripod too. Once he was done with all that he leaned back on the black chair again.

“But as a friend I think I have to make sure that…” Nicco said running a hand through his hair. “…you know you have big role in our lives, right?” Nicco asked. 

Nicco’s sentence directly put a smile on Elia’s face. Thankfully, Elia recovered easily from the first shock of this statement and managed to show that he indeed know this.

“I know that, of course. Like I said other people know your role in their lives." Elia said putting on a big smile in his face. “My point exactly." he said showing Nicco with his hands.

Nicco jumped on the bed next to him and they kept chatting on other subjects; about their dumbass friends and some little gossip about Marti and their schools and all that stuff.

In the back of Elia’s mind was the answers he just gave to Nicco. He realized he was never fully something. Elia wasn’t that involved in politics, he felt he was only half a Christian. He was bisexual but he didn't say it out loud; he couldn’t show off Filippo. He neither was the best friend nor the best son. He tried to take on a protector role but like he said he only tried. His uncles drilled in his brain he should be the one to protect his family and he couldn’t do that with his blood family and his found family. His father hurt his mother. Marti got attacked by homophobes. Gio’s father hit him. Elia couldn’t protect any of them. So who was he exactly?

After all, a documentary about identity was bound to give him an existential crisis.

* * *

**Martedi 12:04 - Miscommunication Is Bad**

Elia was sitting on the window sill with Gio. Both of them had their backs toward the window and was watching the people go up and down on the stairs trying to kill time in-between their classes. Elia had a pack of chips in his hand that he brought from home and they were sharing it. 

“By the way, you can stay over tonight. My mom’s in Naples for work. We have the house to ourselves.” Elia said stuffing two big pieces of chips in his mouth. 

Gio turned to look at Elia as he gave Elia a pat on the back.

“That would be great. Things got a little tense yesterday.” Gio said doing an uncomfortable grin.

Elia’s mind went off in flashes. He had been more than ready to deck Gio’s dad (no matter if he could actually do it) if that guy hurt Gio again. Cue in his wish to have a protective role.

“Tense how? Did he do something?” Elia asked angrily. 

Gio’s mouth curled up into a comforting smile:

“Nothing like that. Marco said some things and he blamed them on me.” Gio put a hand on Elia’s shoulder, Elia knew to get him to calm down, and continued, “It just would be good to be away for one or two days.” 

Elia’s tense shoulders came into a relaxed position. No need to fight anyone at least for now, he thought. 

“As long as you want.” he said shrugging and smiling. 

Gio playfully pushed him on the shoulder and they went back to watching other people. Gio had already said thank you a million times to Elia for letting him stay at his mother’s house so at this point just smiling and going back to whatever they were doing was enough. Also, if Gio said thank you one more time Elia might have legit smacked him on the head.

“How are you and your father?” Gio asked taking a little piece from the chips.

Elia rolled his eyes. Honestly, he should have seen that question coming. There wasn’t much up and down in Elia’s relationship with his dad so there was really nothing to tell to the guys. Still, Gio made an habit of asking him about it. Sometimes it was hard being friends with Gio because no matter what Elia did Gio was always a better friend than he was.

“Same old, same old. I am cold. He tries to be sympathetic. And the cycle goes on.” Elia said shrugging and stuffing another chip in his mouth.

Gio gave him that look with his eyes wide open and his eyebrows raised.

“Maybe you should talk to your father about all the things you feel, explain to him why you are cold?” Gio said being the sound of the reason.

He might be the sound of reason but he didn’t really apply to that to his life too, Elia thought.

“Says the guy who waited and waited and exploded on his father.” Elia said scoffing with one eyebrow raised.

It took a few seconds for Gio to reply so Elia turned to look at Gio's face and saw that he still had the same expression on his face with only difference being his head leaning to the side. 

“Not the same thing, I know.” Elia said with a sigh.

Then, suddenly Gio grabbed the bag of chips out of Elia’s hands and held onto it.

“Okay, what did we learn as a group in the like past year?” Gio asked turning in his seat to completely face Elia.

Elia tried to take back the bag of chips but Gio was good at keeping it out of Elia’s reach.

“What?” Elia asked with an annoyed sigh.

“Miscommunication…” Gio handed the bag of chips back to Elia only after grabbing a handful of chips for himself. “…is bad.”

“I learned that last year. You learned it last month.” Elia said flipping off Gio.

“Whatever.” Gio said rolling his eyes with a smile. “The message still holds. Go have a talk with your father.” After a beat he added in a soft tone, “And don’t keep things from us.” 

If Elia knew Gio, and he did, it seemed like he was insinuating something with the last part. Gio couldn’t have possibly known about him and Filippo no matter how perceptive he was, Elia thought. He couldn’t have pieced things together through a sweatshirt. No way. 

“Who says I am keeping anything from you?” Elia asked in a serious voice. 

Gio must have sensed Elia’s seriousness because he put on a big smile probably to ease things.

“Nobody. I am just saying” Gio said shrugging. “You know for the future.” he continued and immediately stuffed his mouth with the last pieces of chips. 

After that, thankfully Gio didn’t go on about that subject and Elia’s internal panic died down. If Gio really knew he would continue to push or at least say something about Elia having to talk to him, right? Maybe it would be better if everybody found out about Elia’s secret relationship on their own, Elia thought. Then, he wouldn’t have to have another conversation with Filippo about being completely public and he wouldn’t have to do the whole coming out and explaining himself speech. 

And an idea popped into his head. Maybe this would be the perfect time to tell somebody about his relationship with Filippo. Elia and Filippo texted yesterday and their plan of telling one or two people was still in motion and Gio could be that person. He had decided on Luca and he was waiting for the perfect moment. Also, he wanted Filippo to tell somebody first so that Elia could be really sure about the relationship. But everything aside, this was a great opening for what he had to say and it was Gio.

“Gio, actually there's something…” Elia started to talk but he quickly realized that Gio’s focus was at somewhere else. 

While Elia was thinking 100 km/h in his mind, in only a span of few seconds he missed Gio’s eyes focusing on something. When Elia caught on what he was looking at Gio was already trailing the point with his head. So, Elia followed where he was looking at and saw Eva come down the stairs with Sana and make her way to the corridor just above them. She didn’t see them and Gio didn’t do anything to be seen. 

Elia’s conversation was going to have to wait. 

“Speaking of miscommunication…” Elia started and continued when Gio finally turned his head back to him. “…did you two talk?”

Gio sighed and threw his head back. 

“No. I mean I tried to ask but she just said she was super drunk and she didn’t remember anything.” Gio replied giving out a breath. 

“That might be the case.” Elia said knowing full well something was going on.

“You don’t think, it’s-” Gio groaned in a really annoyed way and pinched his nose. “…I can’t even say it. It feels so unfair to her even thinking about it.” he continued.

Elia knew what Gio meant. He wanted to ask if there was a chance Eva had cheated on him again. Elia also understood why Gio didn’t want to say it out loud. The two of them were all in and trusting this time. Eva trusted and Gio needed to show that trust back. Maybe Elia was more empathetic and perceptive than he thought. 

“Look, back then I was even angrier at her for what she did.” Elia started in an attempt to stop Gio’s worrying. 

“For obvious reasons.” Gio said looking at him with a small smile. 

“For obvious reasons, yes.” Elia said sighing. “But that was a mistake and I am sure if there is something going on it’s not anything like that. I think she is only trying to be better this time like you are trying.” He added in a quiet voice.

Elia saw Gio look down with a small smile. When he looked up at Elia his smile was even bigger.

“When did you get wise about relationships Santini?” He asked throwing an arm around Elia’s shoulder. It still sounded to Elia like there was a hidden meaning in Gio’s remark. “Thank you.” he added.

Elia wanted to answer ‘since I got in a good relationship where I am head over heels myself’ but he only smiled back. That was for another time.

* * *

**Mercoledi 17:45 - The Man of The House**

Elia opened his mother’s house’s door with one hand while his other hand was holding his phone to his ear. He was on the phone with no other than Filippo. 

“So, I found a new sushi place.” Filippo said from the phone. “One that isn’t invaded by any of our friends.” he added and Elia could almost see him roll his eyes. 

“That’s great ‘cause I miss our sushi nights.” Elia said with a smile. “And that’s on me. I recommended that place to Gio and he recommended it to Luca.”

“And Luca took Silvia there for their first date. Now, it’s their place. They have their every anniversary there.” Filippo said in a jokingly annoyed voice.

Elia closed the door behind him and dropped his bag onto the ground. He quickly started taking off his jacket now that he was inside with the hot air. Finally he was able to stand with a t-shirt; he smiled in glee.

“How do you know all that?” Elia asked with a chuckle.

“You are not the only high schooler I fraternize with.” Filippo answered cockily. “Silvia and I are actually friends.” he added almost with an undertone. Why was everybody talking to me with double meanings lately?, Elia thought.

Well, Elia knew Filippo was also friends with the girls through Eleonora. But he might have missed how close he was actually to the girls.

“That’s a duo.” Elia said jokingly. 

Now, Elia was making his way to the corridor. He was going to walk over to his room but he heard some noises coming from the kitchen. So, he walked over to the kitchen and opened the door. His mom was there bending in front of the oven and looking inside it.

“Filo…” he whispered to the phone. “I’ll call you later.” He said in a tiny bit louder voice.

“Don’t forget about Friday!” Filippo said from the other side as Elia was hanging up the phone. 

On Friday, Filippo was taking him to a party his friends were throwing. He was really excited about it. It would be the first time Elia was going to meet any of Filippo’s friends and considering their talk last week and everything else he was so happy that he was entering Filippo’s world. 

But, he had to give his attention to his mother right now.

“I thought you were coming in later.” Elia said making his way to his mom to give her a hug.

“I caught an earlier flight.” Carina answered giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. 

Elia leaned back to the counter while his mom kept watching the oven. 

“What are you doing?” Elia asked looking in between his mom and the oven.

“I am cooking a full chicken with all the seasoning and the sauce.” Carina answered smiling with her hands on her waist.

It’s not that his mother wasn’t good at cooking; she was good. She just wasn’t really good with like preparing big meals or at any part of seasoning. Elia hoped she bought a packaged seasoning and sauce and didn’t try to make those herself.

“I could have cooked something. You came from a trip, you should have rested.” Elia said softly wondering why she was cooking a proper meal.

“You are coming from a long day of school.” She answered with a gentle smile looking at Elia. “You shouldn’t have to make dinner too.” she added turning her head back to the chicken.

It all added up now for Elia.

“Maybe you should stop listening to Uncle Dario, huh?” Elia asked raising an eyebrow. 

“He is not all wrong.” His mother said pulling at the oven mitten she was holding. “I go away. You make yourself dinner, sometimes even clean around. That’s not right.” Carina continued.

Out of all the things his uncles did that angered Elia, making his mother question her mothering was at the top.

“You go away for work and I like cooking for myself and I should clean the house ‘I’ live in too.” Elia said sounding more mad than he intended to. “It’s not like you have a choice too. You have to work.” he added under his breath.

His mother apparently worked before Elia was born and she stopped working to look after him. Following the divorce though, she had to get a job because the alimony obviously wasn’t enough. His father was still paying support for him but her mother still had to pay rent and support herself. So yeah, his mom had to work because his father was an ass. That was a weak logical link, Elia knew, but whatever really.

“I like working, Elia.” She said seriously with her smile gone.

She didn’t like it when Elia brought up old stuff.

“Shouldn’t I get a job too? Like be the man of the house.” Elia said scoffing and doing air quotes around the last part. 

His mother gave him a tired look and sighed. She then walked over and grabbed his face. 

“You are already the man of the house, sweetie.” Carina said nicely. Guess she missed Elia being ironic about ‘being the man of the house’. She walked back to her place and added, “You are here to protect me especially against your uncles and that’s your only job.” 

Yeah, it was Elia’s fault for not guessing that his irony around getting a job and being the man would fly over his mother's head. Still, his mother’s last words that felt a bit like an irony too had struck with him-it was clear that he was his mother’s son. He couldn’t help it though. It fed into the idea in his mind about him taking a protective role for the people in his life.

“Oh, I got you something.” Carina said happily reaching for her bag on the kitchen table. 

She pulled out a tiny plastic bag and handed it to Elia with a big smile. Elia opened up the bag with an equal smile. It was a small, silver cross necklace with a thin chain. He held it up in the air and looked at it with a smaller smile.

“Thanks, mom.” He said still examining the necklace.

“It reminded me of the one you used to have.” His mom said chuckling softly probably reminiscing about when Elia was younger.

Yeah, it actually looked like the one Elia wore constantly when he was in middle school and then he lost it somewhere running around with Gio and Marti. He never thought to bought one again but it was nice that his mother thought about it and got him a new one. Maybe he could embrace the side of him that believes in God a little more. Then, he wouldn’t feel so half at everything.

Elia was putting the necklace over his head when the door bell rang.

“Were we expecting someone?” His mother asked turning to the door.

“It must be Gio. I told him he could stay over again.” Elia said skipping into the corridor.

“Good thing I bought the biggest chicken in the market!” Carina shouted after Elia.

* * *

**Giovedi 16:42 - The Secret**

After hanging out with Luca and Marti after school for a while they separated their ways. Marti went to Nicco’s school to surprise him and Luca went home because he had to babysit his brother. Elia was supposed to meet with Filippo at that new sushi place they talked about yesterday at around 8 pm. Until then he had to kill time so he decided to go over to Diego’s so that he could keep Gio company while he killed time.

He made some small talk with Gio while giving his order which was an espresso. They had last seen each other about one and half hour ago so really they had nothing new to talk about. Still, they joked around and laughed a little before Elia took his coffee and payed for it. He of course didn’t forget to leave a big tip too with Gio thanking him five times.

Elia left Gio at the register and walked over to the tables only to spot a familiar redhead sitting on the corner flipping through the pages of a thick book. She was sitting alone this time; no girls were on sight and nothing indicated she was there with somebody else. Elia didn’t want to talk to Eva after last Friday because he knew he couldn’t stop himself from saying something but he couldn’t exactly ignore her and sit on another table either.

He took a sip from his coffee and started walking to Eva’s table. This time she didn’t spot him from afar even though she was sitting facing his way because her whole focus was on the book in front of her. When he made it to the table he stood behind the chair across Eva.

“I guess this chair isn’t taken?” Elia said with a smirk. 

Eva looked up from the book with a surprised and a panicked face. Elia had some panicked faces over the month so he knew how they looked like.

“Hi.” Eva said with a small smile while she organized the book, the notebook, the pencils on the table. 

“Were you studying?” Elia asked settling down to his seat and putting down his cup.

“I was doing some reading for history. Me and Gio are still studying together and I wanted to get a little ahead.” Eva said quietly. 

Elia didn’t miss the way her voice got quieter in the mention of Gio’s name. 

“I am still on last month’s reading.” Elia said taking a sip of his espresso. “I think.” he added once he gulped that sip down.

After that a silence fell over them for a few seconds with Elia watching around the cafe and Eva playing with the pages of her book. Elia didn’t really want to do that but if Gio gave Nicco a best friend talk and if Eleonora apparently gave Gio a best friend talk, he could give Eva a best friend talk. 

“Look, Eva…” Elia started and sighed in the middle. “…back in the days I think I was angry at you for a longer time than Gio was.” he said and saw Eva avert his gaze. The reason behind his anger was more complicated than just Giovanni being his best friend but it wasn’t the time to explain that. “…He might have been a dick to you at times but he was my best friend and you betrayed him and broke his heart. Obviously, I was mad. Anyway.” Gio definitely did a cooler best friend talk with Nicco. “…I know both of you have changed and that you lo-like each other. And I support you really.” Eva was now looking at him slightly, probably wondering where Elia was leading to with this long rant. “But he is freaking out right now. So I have to make sure that whatever is going on, you won’t hurt him.” Once he said the last word he gave out a deep breath and leaned in his chair in relaxation. 

Eva pushed some of her hair behind her ear and finally properly looked at Elia’s face. Elia then, realized that her eyes were watering. There was a reason he didn’t want to this. 

“I don’t want to hurt him either.” Eva said her voice breaking.

“Shit, Eva. I didn’t mean to-

“It’s not even about me.” she said closing her eyes in the end.

“What-“ Elia started to ask but he was cut in again.

“It’s all about trust and no lying this time. He told me everything. And I am keeping something directly about him from him but I didn’t do anything. It’s not me.” Eva said starting off rather emotional and getting somewhat angrier in the end.

Here I go getting involved in this, Elia thought.

“Is it Marti?” He asked delicately.

Eva’s head snapped up and her eyes opened wide. She didn’t answer but everything about her reaction screamed yes.

“I don’t think Gio noticed, he was too busy with you but every time you opened your mouth Marti visibly freaked.” Elia explained himself.

Eva sighed and ran a hand through her hair. It was nice that her and Gio’s nervous reflexes were the same. Gio would also run a hand through his hair. Elia’s nervous reflex was shaking his leg and pulling on his earring.

“Remember the fight with Laura and how the whole school found out I kissed Federico?” Eva asked and waited. Elia nodded so she continued. “Do you know how Laura found out?” Elia shook his from left to right as if to say no. “Sure, there were rumors that Fede kissed somebody at the party but…” Eva sighed and checked over Gio who was busy taking orders. “…only three people know about it. Me and Federico. And I’d told Marti.”

Elia closed his eyes and pinched his nose. Honestly, he should have connected the dots before. He didn’t know how he should have given he didn’t know Marti knew about it before but he should have. 

That was all kinds of fucked up. Why would Martino go around Eva’s back and not tell Gio but tell Laura? It made zero sense. And the fact that he gave out Eva’s secret; something she trusted Martino with. It made Elia very furious with Martino. Even more furious than Elia was when they were fighting a year ago, when Martino pushed Gio to the ground. 

You weren’t supposed to just tell somebody's secret, that somebody trusted you with. No matter how shitty the secret itself was. Elia had learned that the hard way. You weren’t especially supposed to let secrets about a cheating slip out of your mouth. Never.

“Why the HELL would he do that?” Elia asked somewhat louder. Thankfully, it wasn’t loud enough to attract attention.

Eva shook her hands up and down over the table to signal Elia to quiet down.

“I thought it was because he liked me. Well, he told me he liked me. But…” Eva said raising her eyebrows. 

Oh, fuck. Of course. No matter how much Martino denied it of course he had a crush on Gio at some point. Of fucking course. Elia was truly looking forward to the day their friendship would stop involving drama. Okay, he knew that was bold coming from him when he was secretly dating Martino’s mentor. 

“I am not mad at Martino for it. I forgave him long ago.” Eva continued when Elia didn’t say anything. “I was drunkenly blabbering last Friday. I wouldn’t say it myself. It’s Marti’s secret to tell and I just want him to tell this to Gio so we won’t have any more secrets between us. 

“And now he doesn’t want to say anything?” Elia said angrily. He could see Eva instantly regret her decision to tell him after seeing him like this.

“I think he is just afraid of Gio’s reaction. I told him a million times that we didn’t break up over me kissing Fede but Marti still blames himself for our breakup.” Eva added getting emotional again.

Elia knew that “exact” blame so very well; the blaming yourself for your involvement over two people's break up.

“But I don’t think there is anything Gio wouldn’t forgive you guys for.” Eva said looking over at Gio who was busy at work once again. "He would even help you bury a body.” she added with a sad chuckle probably to lighten things up a bit.

Elia agreed with Eva on that. Gio, embracing the mom friendness and all, wouldn’t be mad but at most he would be disappointed. He would hide that pretty well but Elia knew it could also take a little while before Gio fully understand everything. 

As always the things that Gio would keep his calm about and would bite his tongue over and would hide his feelings for, had the opposite effect on Elia. He was already super mad at Martino. No matter his motivations, no matter the repercussions of what he did, Elia was mad. 

_Elia was mad because above everything, above the fact that Martino indirectly made their common best friend sad, what Martino did reminded Elia of what he did years ago._

“Martino needs to tell this to Gio, like now.” Elia said still angrily. 

Eva opened his mouth to say something but she closed it again quickly and fixated on a point behind Elia. Elia turned around to see Martino and Nicco approaching to them holding hands. Elia sighed and closed his eyes. Then, he grabbed his espresso and threw his backpack over his shoulder and got up. 

“I have to go.” Elia said already turning around.

“Elia..” Eva said quietly but he was already walking away. 

“See you later.” He said when passing by Martino and Nicco without even looking at their faces.

Both of them also said his name after him but Elia ignored them too.

Eva might be able to be silent over the when she was sober but Elia didn’t trust himself to blurb this out. He was going to try though because he really didn’t want to be the person to spoil a secret. _Not again._

* * *

**Venerdi 21:16 - Secret Relationship?**

Elia spent the whole day trying not to let Martino see something was up. That something being Elia knowing his secret and being mad at Martino. He thought he managed to not show his anger on his face but he wasn’t sure. The fact that Martino wasn’t bombarding his phone with texts asking what was going on was probably a good sign.

Right now, he was walking up the stairs in an apartment with Filo holding his hand. They were going to a party Filo’s friend Raffaele was throwing in his house. It was going to be full of people Elia was going to meet for the first time. Safe to say he was at the perfect balance of excited and nervous. 

When they came to the door of the house Filo flashed him a big smile. Then, as if the check for something he looked around the floor and the stairs. Next thing Elia knew Filo was grabbing his collars and puling Elia towards himself and into a short but deep kiss. They would have probably kept on kissing but some noises came from the stairs so Filo abruptly pulled back. 

For some reason he also let go of Elia’s hand. He used that hand to rang the bell so maybe that was the reason he stopped holding Elia’s hand. God, he hated doubting himself. He wasn’t like this before Filo.

Somebody who was clearly on his way to be very drunk opened the door. Filo greeted him with a small hug and walked inside so Elia followed him. The house was very loud which made Elia question how he didn’t notice all the music sounds from the door. Guess he was too focused on Filo. The normal lights were turned off but there were fairy lights and colored lightbulbs and neon lights everywhere. It was a little bit more crowded than Elia expected. He thought it was like their inner circle get togethers but turned out it was more like their school parties. 

Elia followed Filo into the kitchen. They had just stepped into the room when somebody yelled:

“FILO!” and basically jumped onto Filippo. 

Elia heard Filippo laugh and saw Filippo hug the boy back. He watched the two friends greet each other with a laugh. 

“Raffaele, Elia. Elia, Raffaele.” Filo said pointing at the person with their names.

Raffaele had yellow hair and a buzzcut. He was wearing a pink shirt with a shiny fabric which Elia guessed to be silk. The shirt had huge collars and its buttons were halfway open. He had glitter over the side of his face. 

Elia held his hand in the air and Raffaele grabbed it with a laugh and shook it up an down. 

“Another one of Ele’s friends?” Rafaele asked still laughing. 

Elia was about to open his mouth to say something about himself, to say that yes and that he was also Filo’s boyfriend, but Filo beat him up to it. 

“Yeah! You know how I like to collect my sister’s friends.” Filo said with a grin avoiding looking at Elia.

Okay, Elia thought, he technically answered the question. 

“Is Nicco coming too?” Raffaele asked taking a sip of his drink through a straw. 

“Is he?” Elia asked with panic in his voice, turning to Filippo. 

“Unfortunately he had some family dinner, something planned with his boyfriend.” Filippo said looking at Raffaele. 

Oh right, Elia thought and mentally slapped himself for panicking. Elia knew about that plan because he Martino had already told him about it before Thursday. Martino and Nicco were hosting Martino’s mom and Nicco’s parents in their home. He would have sent Martino a nice text about not worrying too much about it but he was too angry at him to do that.

Filippo and Raffaele kept on chatting in front of him.

Elia was seriously starting to feel like a third-wheel in this conversation. Elia was a social person; he was able to chat with people easily. Normally, when he went to a party with the boys he would be meeting people left and right, slipping into any kind of conversation. He was Elia Santini for fuck’s sake. But right now he felt like an outsider. 

He was at least going to try and get into the conversation himself because for some reason Filippo was almost acting like he wasn’t there. But another one of Filippo’s friends came behind them and threw an arm around both Elia and Filippo. Elia was startled for a moment but he quickly collected himself. 

“Haven’t seen you at the parties for a while.” A girl said next to him. She then, dropped his arms down and walked over to stand next to Raffaele. 

She had blue hair pulled up into pigtails. She was wearing a silver glittery skirt with a small black strappy top. It felt like the theme of the party was glitter and Elia was the odd one out with his grey t-shirt, blue shirt and leather jacket.

“Did you miss me?” Filippo said mockingly and the girl flipped him off. 

A few seconds passed and it seemed like Filippo was forgetting introducing Elia. He was running out of patience so he jumped in and introduced himself.

“Elia.” he said ruder than he planned in his head. She looked at him as if she didn’t have an arm around him a minute ago. He again held his hand for her to shake and she did looking at him weirdly.

“Elisa.” she said glancing at Filippo in the end. 

“Eleonora’s friend turned Filo’s friend.” Raffaele explained. 

Filo had bumped Elia on the shoulder so Elia looked up. Filo looked like he was trying to ask what was going on and a part of Elia wanted to gesture between them and ask 'what do you think' but he looked front again.

“I miss high school.” Elisa said leaning onto Raffaele. 

“I can’t wait to be out.” Elia said less rudely this time eager to get into conversation. 

Yeah, well, what he said was a lie because if it was up to him he would stay in high school forever with the boys. But these were university people he was talking with and in his mind Filippo’s little jokes about him being so young was replaying. 

“Really? Why?” Elisa asked sweetly. It seemed like she had forgotten Elia’s tint of rudeness from before which was nice.

Elia again opened his mouth to say something but once again Filippo beat him up to it. 

“Their school is full of drama. I swear they go through some shit every three months.” Filippo said laughing. 

That wording bothered Elia a little considering one of the shits involved his best friend, who was also Filippo’s mentee, having a rough coming out process filled with isolation and another shit involved Filippo’s own sister getting sexually assaulted and another shit involved his best friend almost going into drugs. Guess, Filippo was just trying to fit into the party atmosphere and not bring people down. 

“Yeah some shit…” Elia said under his breath. In the midst of the music and all Raffaele and Elisa didn’t seem to hear but he was feeling Filippo’s eyes on him.

He couldn’t help but return Filippo’s gaze but he as soon as he turned to Filippo he turned his head back to Raffaele and Elisa. He should have been giving Filippo kisses in between the sentences not have awkward glances with him.

Then, the conversation went on its course with three others chatting about their common friends and interests with inside jokes here and there. It wasn’t like they were trying to keep Elia out of the conversation. In fact, Raffael and Elisa were mostly talking looking at him and they were trying to get his opinion on things too. Elia though, wasn’t much responsive because the most afford wasn't coming from his boyfriend but the friends of his boyfriend. He was zoning out mostly watching the people come and go into the kitchen.

It’s just that he expected more. Filippo was so excited for them to come here and Elia thought he would at least introduce him as his boyfriend to people like Raffael and Elisa who seemed be his close friends. Or even if he didn’t say that Elia was his boyfriend he could at least give a warmer introduction.

Maybe, he was acting a little shitty. Maybe, he was being too needy. Maybe, Filippo was acting just normal and Elia was just wanting more. Maybe, Elia didn’t know how to do relationships. 

Still, Elia knew how to pick up signs. Filippo checking around before kissing him in front of the door. Filippo letting go of his hand just before he rang the bell. Filippo not even saying Elia was a close friend of his but continuing on with Elia being Eleonora’s friend. Filippo not even telling him that his friends and Nicco and possibly Martino met before.

While he was in his head the three way conversation was still going on strongly. Elia tried to focus back and catch what they were saying but he was lost and he couldn’t even get the topic. 

“I’ll go have a smoke downstairs.” Elia announced cutting in Elisa’s sentence. 

Before giving any of the people a chance to say something Elia turned around grabbing a beer from the counter and made his way outside the apartment. He walked down the stairs in a slow pace hoping that maybe Filippo would follow after but he didn’t.

He stood at the entrance of the apartment and opened his can of beer. After, taking a big sip he put it down to the ground and took out his pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He took a long drag of his cigarette and gave the smoke out shakily. Elia looked at the dark street and grabbed his beer from the ground. He was taking another sip when Filippo came out of the door.

“Hey, you okay?” Filippo said rubbing Elia’s shoulder.

Elia took a step to the side, away from Filippo’s hand. Filippo took a few steps and stood in front of him. 

“You invited me. If you didn’t want me here you could have not brought me.” Elia said angrily gulping down his beer. 

Filippo looked almost offended.

“But I want you here.” Filippo said scoffing.

“It sure doesn’t seem like it.” Elia answered blowing out smoke.

“Is it because you felt out of the conversation? What do you think happens to me around the contrabbandieri?” Filippo asked defensively.

It wasn’t the same thing because they were Filippo’s friends too. Elia threw the cigarette butt to the ground and crushed it with his foot. 

“Am I Eleonora’s friend?” Elia asked in his most serious tone.

Filippo was taken aback for a second then a confused expression appeared on his face.

“Secret relationship, remember?” Filippo said and even if it wasn’t his intention Elia felt like Filippo was mocking him.

“Fuck, Filo. You brought me to your friend’s party. We talked about telling one or two people.” Elia said getting angrier and angrier. “And you don’t even say that I am your friend. You don’t even recognize that I’m there.” he ended clenching his jaw in the end.

“You haven’t told any of the boys either.” Filippo said still defensively. The fact that he wasn’t even replying to what bothered Elia but was trying to shoot back, angered Elia more.

“I am waiting for the moment to tell one of them. You had the perfect moment to tell one of your friends and you didn’t.” Elia answered back. 

“I thought you liked having a secret relationship too.” Filippo said looking over Elia’s shoulder, avoiding his eyes. Once again, Filippo was shooting back instead of replying to what Elia said.

“I never did. It was you!” Elia said getting louder.

It took Filippo a few seconds to answer. Elia took a look at his face and saw that he was biting his lips and was looking down at his shoes. Elia drank a lot more from his beer. 

“Well, you haven’t exactly opposed the idea.” Filippo said quietly. 

Elia could have said something more but by some power he managed to reach to his inner Giovanni Garau and shut up. 

“Whatever, Filippo. Let’s call it a night.” Elia answered dismissively.

Elia looked Filippo straight in the eyes which eventually forced Filippo to look at him too. Both of them stared each other for five seconds before Elia took off and walked away. Filippo didn’t say or do anything to stop him so he kept on walking drinking his beer. 

Elia wasn’t definitely good at relationships but this time his inexperience wasn’t the problem. It was more like his insecurity over why Filippo was so hell-bent at keeping their relationship a secret. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it!
> 
> So, the reason Elia is mad at Marti has to do more with his own family issues than his loyalty to Gio. And in the next chapters this parallel will help him see things differently and after a point he will help others (Gio, Marti, Eva) see things in a better way. 
> 
> Aside from creating a parallel I wanted Elia to get involved in his friend's business because he feels like he needs to be more like Gio who checks up on people and who notices when something is wrong. That's why there is like a whole lot of focus on Elia's friends' problems too.
> 
> Obviously, there bound to be some crack about Elia and Filippo. It can't be all hapiness. I can say that this drama won't last long. And both of their reactions comes from their own insecurities and pasts that we will delve into later.
> 
> I want to point out something I am doing. I use most of the characters' shortened names like Filo, Gio, Marti, Nicco, Ele... But whenever Elia gets mad at someone the name switches to the longer version in his head like Filippo, Martino. Also, he mentions Ele as Eleonora because he doesn't feel that close to her yet but we'll see him call her Ele later on too.
> 
> One last thing. How do you think I am doing with the characterization, especially Elia's? If you have read the Gio season I am kind of afraid of it sounding too much like Gio.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think!
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr : @youleavebehindmemories


	4. Episode 4 : Did It Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello once again!
> 
> This chapter is a bit longer than the other so sorry in advance! I think the clips aren't that long if like they were actually shot but I put a lot of description of Elia's feelings and there's like a clip with a lot of characters so I had to describe their reactions etc.
> 
> Anyway! This has been my favourite chapter to write yet! It has everything from Elia and Filippo to Elia making some of his friendships stronger to Elia struggle with his friends and his family.
> 
> Hope you'll like it!

**Sabato 10:12 - Cooking For Coping**

It was 10 o’clock in the morning and Elia was preparing a whole course of dinner. To an outsider he might have seem a little crazy and he did feel a little crazy cooking a roast, making mashed potatoes and baking probably the world’s worst brownie. It was his way of dealing with things. Sure, there was the alcohol and smoking but he wasn’t going to drink at 10 in the morning. As for smoking, well thank God his father wasn’t at home this weekend so he was able to smoke wherever around the house. Also, thank God his father smoked too so the smell around the house wouldn’t be out of the ordinary. But, he already finished his whole packet from the day before so he wasn’t smoking now either. 

Anyway. The only thing that made him feel a little better by taking his mind off of thinking about his argument or fight with Filippo was cooking. As he was salting the meat pieces he wasn’t thinking of how Filippo took him to a party and didn't acknowledge that he was there. As he was mashing the potatoes he wasn’t thinking of how Filippo didn’t take the time to act even friendly with him. As he was mixing the brownie batter he wasn’t thinking of all the evasive answers Filippo gave to his questions.

God. He was thinking about all these. This time the cooking didn’t even work. Maybe they should have gotten into a screaming match yesterday. Then, Elia could have gotten everything out of his system. Okay, scratch that. That was a bad thought, idea even for Elia’s inexperienced in relationships self. 

He stopped mixing the brownie batter and groaned. He didn’t know what to do. Last night, he talked a little about the things that bothered him. Mainly, that he didn’t want a secret relationship. It should be Filippo that reached out to him, right? Filippo should explain himself and ease Elia’s doubts, right? He picked his phone up from near the plug where it was charging. There were no messages or calls or anything from Filippo which made Elia feel a combination of angry and sad. There were a few messages from the contrabbandieri group chat with nothing important just jokes and all. Elia put his phone back down and went back to finishing the brownie. 

Even if it didn’t help he could not possibly leave it unfinished. He already cooked the roast in the oven and prepared the mash potatoes. In the evening he was going to warm them up and eat them so they won’t go to waste. He couldn’t let them go to waste; a) because he knew he did them so good and it would be a crime against food and b) because he couldn’t let good food go to waste because Gio was in his mind.

Finally, he poured the batter into the cake container and placed it in the oven. Once it was placed he sighed deeply and sat down on the kitchen table. Just like the table his father’s kitchen was unnecessarily big too. It could have been easily two rooms. This irritated him always but on a morning after he had a fight with his boyfriend when he was feeling terrible, it irritated him even more. His father didn’t need all this space. 

He groaned and sighed and dropped his head on the kitchen table. He hated having feelings. He really did. Especially because he didn’t know how to deal with them. He was so angry but as he came to the conclusion before arguing more with Filippo wouldn’t solve anything. He gave Filippo chance to answer last night and Filippo didn’t take it. So, right now he was going crazy theorizing over Filippo’s actions.

Was Elia not good enough? Did Elia take their relationship too seriously? Maybe Filippo only wanted a casual relationship? Or Filippo only wanted a physical relationship? But no, they did act like a couple. They had date nights and they hugged and they talked and listened to each other. 

Suddenly, Elia got up and pulled his phone from the charger. He opened Whatsapp and typed in a message. When he was done typing he gave out a deep breath. 

No good in spiraling and losing his mind on his own. He needed to talk to someone. 

* * *

**Sabato 13:57 - Real Friends**

When Elia got to the park-like thing in between the buildings, the place where they used to play football using the benches as the goal posts, Eva was already sitting in one of the benches. By chance there was no one else there. She was wearing a red sweatshirt underneath her coat. Elia knew that sweatshirt belonged to Gio just by the coffee stain at the bottom that was poking from the end of the coat. If his sweatshirts or shirts had a tell like that Gio would have definitely figure him and Filippo out before they stopped sharing clothes to keep their secret.

Elia couldn’t exactly pinpoint the moment where he went from wanting to tell Luca (or maybe Gio) about Filippo first to deciding to tell Eva and ask for her advice. Sure, they were becoming more like friends but this was huge news that didn’t actually involve her. All the drama and his unsureness and his anger and the fact that Eva just two days ago gave him a secret combined in his brain and somehow led him to send a text to her asking to meet up.

In hindsight, this wasn’t probably the best place to meet because Elia’s ass was already freezing. He hated to do it but he pulled the zipper on his coat all the way up and gave a breath out as he approached her. Eva was playing with her hair but she stopped when she saw Elia. 

Before Elia can reach to the bench she was sitting on, Eva jumped up and rushed over to Elia.

“I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have told you.” Eva started and it took Elia moment to realize what she was talking about. Guess, when another thing came up to get Elia mad he forgot about what he got mad at on Thursday. “I put you in a really bad spot, they are your best-

Eva possibly could have gone on and on and on shifting in her place and shaking her hands while talking if Elia didn’t cut in. He cut in because he didn’t want her to frantically continue and also if he didn’t directly say what he needed to say he might have decided not to. 

“I need to tell you something.” Elia said nervously looking at Eva’s face. 

Eva stared at him with his mouth open, confusedly trying to catch where this conversation was going. A second later her eyes got big like she figure something out and she quickly brushed her hair behind her both ears.

“Did you tell Gio? It’s okay, it’s okay. I’ll talk to Marti.” She said nodding up and down.

“No, no.” Elia said closing his eyes. 

If Elia knew how to predict stuff then he would have known the conversation would lead to this. Eva was throwing out totally valid guesses about why he wanted to meet up. It was that his real reason was truly hard to guess or think of. And now, he didn’t know how to let it slip out of his tongue. Like ripping out a bandaid, Elia thought. Just say it. 

He got his hands out of his pockets and looked up for a moment. Then, he shook his head as if to get rid of the nervous feeling in his stomach and the entangled thoughts in his mind. 

“I am dating someone.” Elia said not looking up but not exactly looking at Eva either. 

“I-“ Eva started but closed her mouth. She took a step back and stared at Elia with a scowl-like expression. “O-okay. That’s great?” She said like question forcing a smile. 

Yeah, that was the most confused Elia had seen anybody ever. Normally, Eva was supposed to learn about Elia dating someone from Gio or from whatever get together Elia brought that person to. Not directly from Elia himself on a regular Saturday and not definitely while nobody knew about it. 

He took another deep breath and this time by some power of God or something he managed to channel his cool Elia swagger and look at Eva right in the eye.

“I am dating Filippo.” He said as firmly as he can while trying not to let his recent feelings show up.

Eva’s previous expression seemed like nothing looking at her now. She was gaping with her eyebrows raised and her head stretched forward. Eva stared at him like that for a good five seconds and didn’t help with Elia’s nervousness. He was shifting in his place which was never his way of showing how tense he was but guess he was taking things to a new level. 

“Filippo? As in Filippo Sava? As in Ele’s brother?” Eva asked quiet slowly pausing in between every word. 

God, he never actually thought about whether they were an unlikely match or not. He thought they were similar enough to get along but different enough to be attracted to each other-the perfect balance. Okay, the whole point of this was to stop spiraling. Eva probably wasn’t this surprised because they were an unlikely couple but because she thought they weren’t even close.

“That’s him.” Elia said with a small shrug trying to stay calm and collected. 

With Elia’s answer Eva’s whole expression changed instantly and she started smiling big, almost jumping up and down from happiness. She reached in and gave him a bump on the arm.

“Well, I am happy for you? I am proud of you?” She said still smiling but her sentences again sounded like questions, like she didn’t know exactly what to say. “How did Gio do it with Marti?” She said turning her head to the side as if she was speaking to herself. Seeing that put a little smile on Elia’s face too. “Right! He is very handsome.” Eva said nodding approvingly.

Half saying this, that him and Filippo were dating, out loud and half Eva’s weird but supportive reaction made Elia feel like something was lifted off his shoulders. He had really forgotten the suffocating feeling of trying so hard to keep something as a secret. (It was like he was back to 13 when he finally let go of that big secret to his mom.)

He looked at Eva with his eyebrow raised and gave out a little chuckle (which he didn’t think was possible this morning).

“Not the same effect.” Eva said throwing her head back with a small laughter.

“Nope.” Elia replied shaking his head while his chest was filled with some kind of relief.

Their talk was far from over and Elia didn’t want to stand up and share more important news about his life. So they walked to that bench Eva was standing two minutes ago and sat down. Now that he said the first part which was that he was dating Filippo, Elia didn’t know how to continue and ask for advice. Thankfully, Eva broke the silence. 

“How long have you two been dating?” She asked turning her head to Elia.

“Just over two months.” Elia answered turning back at her. 

“So what’s wrong?” She asked so casually.

Elia looked at her with a small smirk and his eyebrows furrowed like he didn’t understand the question or more likely didn’t understand how she made that connection. 

“Elia…” Eva started explaining with a smirk of her own. “…we’ve known each other for some time. Longer than I’ve known the girls, longer than you’ve know Luca. You never once called me up and said, ‘Hey, Eva let’s meet up.’ That’s why I got…like that.” She said referring to her panicky and apologetic self from before. “So there has to be something wrong.” she concluded.

Elia couldn’t help but smile more despite everything. He once again stuck his hands in his pocket and gave out a breath still keeping that smile. Her connection now made sense.

“Yeah, you got me.” Elia said looking around the place. He sighed and started to talk, “At first we were figuring things out, you know? Keeping everything to ourselves seemed logical. But Filippo wanted to continue keeping us a secret even after a month. I was like fine with it…” He said shrugging in the end. “…I just wanted to be with Filippo. And really telling Martino or Eleonora felt weird for me too. But it’s just you know how we always hang out as a group now.” Elia said finally turning to look at Eva and she nodded back understandingly. “Gio and you, Martino and Nicco, Luca and Silvia…and I have somebody too and I want him to be there.” He finished looking at Eva again to see her reaction.

“Did you tell him how you feel?” Eva asked with a warm tone.

“I did. I did. And we agreed to each to tell somebody.” Elia replied looking at her. Then, he turned his head back to the front and bit his lip. “If just one person aside from us knew that would make it more real, you know?”

Eva replied, “Yeah.” quietly so Elia continued, 

“Yesterday Filippo took me to a party one of his friends was throwing. It was fine until we entered the house but then…” Now that, Elia came to this point of the story the anger inside him rose again. “…then he completely forgot about me. He didn’t introduce me as his boyfriend and I was okay with it at first but then I was reduced to fucking being just Eleonora’s friend. Even his friends that I met five minutes ago tried to include me more in conversations. Then we had a fight over all this.” 

He looked front and glanced down while shaking his leg.

“Do you know why he acted like that? Why does he still want to keep you two a secret?” Eva asked still with the same warm tone. 

“No and that’s the problem.” Elia said exasperatingly throwing his hands up. “I mean it’s not like how it was with Martino. Filippo is out to his friends. I don’t have a problem coming out and saying I’m bisexual, to the boys, to anyone. I don’t understand him and I keep thinking…” Elia said and cursed under his breath. “…Fuck. I keep thinking it’s me.”

“Elia…” Eva said softly. “…it’s not you. Trust me. I promise you it’s not you.” 

Maybe it was her quiet and soft voice or maybe it was that Elia knew Eva had some experience in relationships but Elia believed her. He believed that it wasn’t him. After all, when it was just him and Filippo everything was fine. They kissed and laughed and Filippo memorized everything Elia told him about himself. Guess, he needed to hear this from someone else to stop and come this conclusion.

“You guys made it to two months. That doesn’t just happen. Filippo must care about you a lot. Don’t jump to conclusion and do something stupid. I know that, that’s never good. Just wait and try to talk to him.” Eva said in a soft but more lively tone this time.

Elia turned to her and saw that she had supportive smile on her face. She was right. Elia knew, when she said that part about jumping to conclusions she was thinking about how she thought Gio was cheating on him and that didn’t end well. So, taking some lessons from his friends’ relationship he needed to not jump to conclusions, not theorize and spiral. He needed to listen to Filippo talk about his reasonings, his feelings. Perhaps, there was something Elia didn’t know. 

“Thank you.” Elia said nodding with a smile. 

Eva smiled back at him and bumped her elbow to Elia’s arm,

“Thank you for telling me.” She paused for a second and then added, “Why did you tell me?” she asked with a confused smile.

“You gave me a secret. I gave you a secret. Now, we are even.” Elia answered shrugging with some of his swagger back.

Elia saw Eva’s smile falter a little probably remembering the mess of her own secret but she recovered quickly. 

“That makes us real friends then.” Eva said with a little chuckle and her eyes getting a squinty. 

“Real friends.” Elia repeated, a smile forming on his face.

Talking to someone was really everything, Elia thought. Just saying out loud what he was feeling, what he was thinking helped him ease up a little. Obviously, what Eva said and just her being herself helped a lot too. Turned out, he made the right decision by coming to Eva with this. Now, his fight with Filippo didn’t seem like the worst thing in the world, didn’t seem like something they couldn’t come back from. All he needed to do was to try and get Filippo to talk so he can understand his boyfriend. 

* * *

**Domenica 12:21 - Communication Is Good**

Elia was about to leave his father’s home because he was going to meet Irene for coffee. As much better as he was feeling now, less angry and more wanting to make up with Filippo, he didn’t actually feel like meeting with Irene. She was definitely going to see that something was up with him but Elia didn’t want to tell her just yet. One person knowing was enough for now because that’s what they decided with Filippo. They also talked about telling their friends and Irene was family. It didn’t matter that they had a fight and that Elia didn’t agree with these, he was still trying to respect what Filippo wanted. Another lesson he took from the relationships around him.

Before leaving the house he decided to check his phone again. The day before after his talk with Eva, he texted Filippo “We need to talk about last night.” and the message was left on read with no reply. He sighed and put the phone back into his pocket. Then, he pulled up his coat and walked out. He walked down the stairs skipping and came to the apartment door.

When he exited the apartment door he almost walked into someone. Within the moment of bumping the person he was only able to catch a glimpse of blonde hair. He was about to say sorry so he took a step back only to come face to face with Filippo. Elia was taken aback for a second so he just stared at Filippo’s face. Considering Filippo didn’t text him back he sure wasn’t expecting to run into him in front of his father’s home.

“Hi.” Filippo said hesitantly which was so unlike him.

“Hi.” Elia said with some distance in his voice.

They were standing right in front of the apartment door with facing each other awkwardly. Filippo looked a little tired, the usual energy of him was no where to be seen which, despite everything, broke Elia’s heart. He didn’t like seeing Filippo like that. Never. 

“Is it a good time? Can we talk?” Filippo asked biting his lip. (His and Elia’s nervous expressions, turned out, were the same.)

Elia was no longer angry and he was the one to say that they needed to talk for fuck’s sake but he thought that Filippo would call up, would write something not ambush him here. So, Elia gave a half dismissive answer.

“I was going to meet with my cousin, Irene…” he started and saw Filippo’s shoulder sulk a little. “…but we can talk.” he finished with and then, saw Filippo gave out a breath.

Filippo nodded and stared at Elia. He actually stared at Elia for a few seconds without saying anything. In Elia’s mind talking meant Filippo explaining himself but he realized he maybe needed to open up the conversation. 

“I am not angry at you anymore. I was yesterday. If you came yesterday I would have ignored you but today…” Elia sighed and continued, “…I just want to listen to you.”

Filippo nodded again started talking quietly, again unlike himself. It was like a punch in the gut to Elia to see Filippo like this.

“I am sorry about the party. I should’ve been better.” Filippo said and looked Elia in the eye. “I actually planned to introduce you to Raffael as my boyfriend.” He added looking down to the ground this time with a broken smile. “But then it all became too much and I overdid the complete opposite of what I wanted to do.” He finished still looking down.

One thing Elia couldn’t wrap his mind around was why did Filippo took him to the party in the first place. If he didn’t want to be seen with Elia, he could have not invited Elia. So, that actually was a good explanation that eased his doubts a little.

“Okay.” Elia said shaking his up and down. “What do you mean by it 'became too much’?” Elia asked trying to be as neutral, not angry and not too caring, as possible.

Filippo rubbed his forehead and looked again at Elia. 

“We didn’t talk too much about our past relationships.” Filippo said and Elia’s heart skipped a beat thinking about what’s coming next. “It might be hard to believe but Filippo Sava had his heart broken too.” He continued with a fake smirk Elia recognized. 

Filippo was trying to cover up something sad with a joke which didn’t help with Elia’s plan of not caring. He already wanted to give Filippo a sweet kiss.

“Filo…” Elia said and took a step forward but Filippo stopped him by taking a step back himself and shaking his head.

“Let me finish.” He said and Elia stood in his place with a nod. “You are Elia fucking Santini. Of course, I want to show you off.” Filippo added then, paused and took a deep breath. “But I am afraid and I need some time.”

This was all Elia wanted from Filippo. Elia only wanted to understand why he acted like that at the part, why he was so against of them telling their relationship to everyone, being public. Now that he understood Filo, his doubts in his mind about himself and about the relationship were gone. 

He took another step forward to Filippo with a tiny smile on his face.

“That’s okay. Whenever you are ready. Just talk to me, don’t leave me hanging.” Elia said taking another step forward. Then, a smirk appeared on his face. “And you are Filippo fucking Sava. Don’t forget that.” He said in an almost whispering voice. 

What he said caused a smirk to spread to Filo’s face too. Now, Filippo was taking a step towards him and slowly they met in the middle. Elia slowly put his right hand on Filo's face and caressed with his thumb a little before leaning in for a kiss. As they were kissing Filippo’s hands trailed from his arms to his face too. When they broke apart they rested their foreheads together for a second. Finally, finally Elia was feeling light again. Everything was okay.

“I told someone by the way.” Filippo said looking better now with a smile on his face.

Elia was pleasantly surprised. A moment ago he was fine with not telling anyone (else than Eva) for a long, long time. He was still fine with it but Elia would be lying if he said Filo telling somebody about them didn’t make him happy. Now, them being couple felt twice as real.

“Who?” Elia asked with a sweet smile while holding on to Filo’s blue coat.

“Silvia.” Filo answered laughing in the end.

“Silvia?” Elia replied nearly shouting from the shock. 

If Elia were to guess Silvia would have been the third from last in his list-the last one being Eleonora and the one above her being Martino. Silvia?, he yelled in his head again.

“I told you we were friends.” Filo said shrugging and laughing. 

Well, he did. Elia really needed to keep better track of all the connections between Filippo and his big group of friends. 

“You did.” Elia said laughing, rolling his eyes. "But you didn’t have to tell her if you didn’t feel ready. I would have understood.” he added with a soft tone and a smile this time (such a soft tone that Elia didn’t know he was capable of doing before Filippo).

“I know. But for this…” Filippo said pointing in between them. “…we need to meet in the middle. And we agreed to tell at least one person.” 

Meeting halfway, compromising… God, their minds were thinking the same.

“Also…” Filippo added, “…it felt good to talk to someone. Silvia was about to drag me herself to you.” Filippo said grinning in the end

That grin, Elia had missed that grin. He couldn’t help but grin too because he imagined bumping into Filippo and Silvia on the way out of the apartment and also Filippo was grinning. When Filippo was happy it immediately affected Elia too. (God, he was on his way to become a hopeless romantic.)

“And I told Eva.” Elia said raising his one eyebrow with a smirk. “She led me to a more logical way of thinking.” he said winking. 

Filippo pulled Elia a little bit closer to himself by the waists and well, Elia didn’t exactly resist.

“Good thing we told two people who are best friends, who can talk about us behind our backs.” Filippo said shaking his head laughing.

“That’s a good move on our part.” Elia replied chuckling.

As soon as his sentence was finished he grabbed Filo’s face again and this time gave him a deep kiss instead of a comforting one. They were so close to the apartment wall that Elia thought if they were inside Filo would definitely push him against the wall as they made out. But, considering they were outside it was a good thing that he wasn’t doing that. Elia had to stop himself from doing that as well and it was hard.

They kept on kissing and kissing. When they finally broke apart both of them went from the kiss to a big smile. 

Communication was good, miscommunication was bad and Elia liked Filippo more than he could even explain or say.

* * *

**Lunedi 09:02 - Old But New Friends**

After making up with Filippo yesterday Elia felt like they were in an even better place because his doubts from even two weeks before were gone too. He was late to meet Irene and he had to hear a lot from about it but it was worth it. Because of Filo, because Filo made him so happy he was skipping to school with a smitten smile on a freaking Monday morning. 

Elia jumped off the bus feeling like he was in a musical movie that his mom made him watch waiting for a song to start playing so he could happily sing along to it. He rolled his eyes to himself; even Luca or Gio or Martino wasn't as whipped as him. Fuck. Gio and Martino. While he was busy with his love life he had forgotten about that mess. Whatever, they would be fine. Nothing could get Elia down that morning.

His phone chimed so he got it out and saw that there was a text from Filippo. It was a nice good morning message with a selfie of Filo attached looking good in his red sweather. Elia bit his lip wishing he was next to Filippo now. Then, he opened his phone’s camera for a selfie of his own. He fixed his hair looking at it through the phone screen and put on his coolest expression. Elia shot a few selfies and sent the best looking one to Filippo smiling by himself while typing.

Just when he was about to start walking to the school again, with the smile he couldn’t wipe off from his face, somebody shouted his name.

“ELIA!” Eva said and Elia turned around to see her running towards him. 

Elia waited for her to catch up to him with his smile getting even bigger. When she reached to Elia she stopped for a second and caught her breath.

“PE isn’t your favourite class right?” Elia asked laughing.

“Like it’s yours.” Eva shot back with a mocking smile of her own. “You are looking very happy. I am guessing you made up with Filippo.” she added.

Elia suddenly had a sheepish smile on his face and he softly answered:

“Yeah, we did.” Elia replied. “Who knew talking openly about your feelings solved everything?” he added smirking and shrugging.

“Everyone else aside from our group.” Eva answered laughing referencing to the massive miscommunication trend between their friends.

Elia laughed too thinking about all the drama their friends wouldn’t have to go through if they just fucking talked. Starting from Gio lying to Eva to Martino keeping things from them. Fuck. There it was again. Gio and Martino. Elia almost opened that topic up but he looked at Eva and she looked fine and she looked happy so he focused back on his happy self and held his tongue which he couldn't normally do.

“We are going to keep things quiet for a little while but we are okay.” Elia answered kind of sending a message to her to keep quiet too.

“Don’t worry my mouth is shut.” Eva said with a smirk but in a serious voice, probably to show that she got the message. “And…” she added hesitantly looking up.

The fact that she didn’t finish her sentence showed she was referencing to the mess and the lies with Martino and Gio. Now that she brought it up he needed to say something to hold up his end of their secret sharing friendship.

“And my mouth is shout too.” Elia said after a beat. “I am still mad Martino though and I can’t cover that up.” 

Eva nodded with a faltering smile but an understanding and thankful look. She must have known that there was nothing she could to lessen his anger. 

To get the mood back up, Elia put on his most delighted smirk:

“But…” he paused to get her full attention. “…you can talk to Silvia about my secret.” 

“Filippo told her?” Eva said chuckling. “I mean they are friends and he probably wanted to tell someone that knew you. The boys are your area.” she said pointing at Elia. “And Ele is out of the question.”

Elia kinda accepted it as Silvia and him being better friends than he knew but this additional explanation Eva gave made so much sense. If Filippo wanted advice about them, like Elia did, what better person to tell than someone who knows Elia personally. Silvia was the choice because of all the things Eva said. Thankfully, for Filippo and for them, ever since Luca and Silvia started dating the two have been hanging out a lot. 

“Were you always this logical and smart or is this something new?” Elia asked her with a side smirk.

Eva smacked him on the arm; she had picked up contrabbanderi’s little quirks: 

“I was always like this. You and your idiot best friend missed it.” 

Elia laughed at her reply and quickly she joined in the laughter too. Then, they started walking towards the school, now together. They had taken a few steps when Eva stopped him again.

“Wait.” Eva said and put a hand on Elia’s arm. “I got you something.” she said. 

Elia looked at her with his eyebrows furrowed from confusion. Eva pulled out a tiny pin from her backpack. When she gave it to him Elia realized that it was a flag pin, specifically the bisexual flag. Elia stared at it in his hand while Eva talked.

“When Marti was going through all that we were in a weird place.” Eva said. “Like really weird.” she added emphasizing weird too much. “I wasn’t really there for him until end. This time I want to do it right.” She finished with a kind smile.

Between his feelings for Filippo and his doubts and his anger and thinking what to do with Filippo he had forgotten about the fact that he had come out to someone for the first time. Seeing Martino go through that process helped him and when he realized he was attracted to Filippo it didn’t take him a long time or a hard way to come the conclusion that he was bisexual. He was very casual about it in his mind. Or so he thought so. He didn’t realize the importance of being seen by who he truly is until now. Until Eva showed him that acceptance.

Suddenly he wrapped Eva in a big hug which must have surprised her because it took her a second to hug him back. When they broke apart Elia had to blink rapidly to get rid of his glistening eyes while Eva was looking at him beaming. He wanted to thank her out loud but just by the hug and their expressions it was clear that he was thanking her and she had received the message.

Elia, for now, put the pin in his bag and they kept on walking with big smiles on their faces. When they finally got to the gate both of them spotted Gio and Eleonora chatting and laughing amongst themselves. Eva gave him a little look and rushed over to Gio and the two of them were in a sweet morning kiss in an instant. Elia greeted Eleonora with a kiss on both cheeks while trying not to think about when he made out with his brother the day before. Once Gio and Eva were done kissing, Elia greeted Gio with a fist bump.

Before they could get into conversation from the opposite way of the school road Martino came up to them. Elia really didn’t want to say something wrong and he really didn’t want to disrupt his good mood. So, after sending a glance at Eva’s way and avoiding looking at Martino he said:

“I’ll see you in class.” to Eva, Gio and Martino and, “See you later.” to Ele.

Then, he quickly left before giving them a chance to ask where he was going. He hoped Eva would come up with something after him. He had just entered the school building ready to climb up the stairs when again somebody called his name. What a busy morning, Elia thought. This time it was Silvia leaving Federica behind. Elia send a nod and a smile at Federica in the time it took Silvia reach to him.

Silvia looked at him for a few seconds so Elia looked at her back waiting for her to reveal the reason she called up to him. The reason was definitely Filippo and him since she was the other person in on the secret but Elia still waited.

“I am happy things are better between you and…” Silvia paused and reduced her voice to a whisper. “…Filo.”

Her way of trying to be discreet made Elia’s smile got bigger.

“Thank you.” he said shrugging. “Thank you also for pushing Filippo to talk to me.” he added with an appreciative tone. 

“Of course.” she answered smiling too. “Filippo helped me a lot with Luca too.” 

Elia was the person to watch the Luca and Silvia relationship closest given the fact that Luca was his best friend and he didn’t know that they had problems.

“With Luca?” Elia repeated worriedly wondering whether he missed any signs from Luca.

“It’s not anything he did.” Silvia said shaking her head slowly. “He is amazing. I just have my own issues. No matter how much he shows me he cares about me I have a hard time believing that he does.” She explained.

What Elia was hearing was completely contradicting the look Luca and Silvia gave: the loud and playful and sweet couple that was sometimes too much. 

“You know Filo is similar too.” she continued hesitantly getting quiet at Filo’s name again. “I know you are great with him. He says so. Whatever insecurity he has it’s not coming from you. It’s not because you did something or you didn’t show him enough care. Keep that in mind.” She said slowly and with a small smile in the end.

He had already established this with Filippo yesterday but hearing this from someone with similar feeling who knew Filo and knew how Filo felt made Elia be sure of everything better. The time Filo asked for isn’t about him or them, it’s about the issues Filo needs to work on. If he had the littlest bit of doubt in his mind that was gone too, thanks to Silvia.

Also, he was quite surprised to hear such serious thoughts from Silvia. Even after he became friends with her through Luca, Elia mostly saw her as a naive and a bubbly person. Guess, he was wrong. What was up with him seeing the girls as not as logical and perceptive as they are? If he told Irene this she would for sure have an explanation about the misogyny in his subconscious. 

“Thank you, really.” Elia said with his most sincere smile with his eyes glistening again. “I will keep that in mind and you know anything Luca related, your relationship related you can talk to me too.” he added.

After this, he would be an ass if he didn’t offer that. Of course Elia didn’t do it just to be not an ass. He also genuinely wanted to hear her. 

“Thanks.” Silvia said with a small but soft smile. 

Securing two old but new friendships in three days, that was good, Elia thought. Just then, two guys passing by them started laughing between them and one of them said.

“Hey, Silvia! Hope your Luchi is at school today. I can’t wait for today’s class.” and they walked past them still laughing in a mocking way. The way they said ‘Luchi’ rubbed Elia the wrong way.

He watched them down the hall then turned to Silvia who had tensed up following their words.

“What was that?” He asked firmly. 

”Nothing, nothing.” Silvia replied shaking his head and trying to put up a smile. “Just some guys from our class.”

Yeah, Elia had recognized them. He didn’t know them well but he knew they weren’t the best people around.

“I know that. What was that about?” He asked one more time staring intensely at Silvia. 

He didn’t like how they laughed and he definitely didn’t like that guy’s tone. Something was wrong. Silvia didn’t reply, she was looking down pulling on her sleeves.

“Silvia.” Elia said almost in a warning tone this time.

“It’s not for me. They-” she sighed and looked up. “…they are always making fun of Luca in class. They mock the way he talks and the way he acts.”

And there it was, the thing that ruined his mood. Elia felt something, some kind of anger boil inside of him. How dare they made fun of Luca? Elia didn’t even know about this which made him ten times more angry. How did he not know? He should have been watching over Luca, he should have been protecting him. Some assholes were making fun of him and he didn’t even know. Fuck.

“Since when?” Elia asked in an angrily clicking his jaw. 

Silvia looked up at him pleadingly. It was clear that she didn’t want to talk about this but Elia needed to know.

“Silvia.” he said once again in that warning tone.

“It’s been some time but it’s worse lately.” She answered looking down at the end again.

Elia threw his arms up and took a step back from the anger. He truly wanted to punch the nearest wall. The way Silvia said it…it seemed like this has been going on longer than this year.

“Elia, Elia.” Silvia said calmly. “Luca didn’t want to tell you. He says he doesn’t care and that he is dealing with it but I am worried.” she finished sniffing in the end.

That’s when Elia truly looked at her and realized that her happy self from before, from when they were talking about Filippo and him was gone. He needed to keep his cool. If he was going to take on a protective role it was going to be for of all of his friends. 

“Sil, it’s okay. I will keep an eye on him and you’ll tell me if something happens. Okay?” he said taking a step forward again. 

“Okay.” She said shaking her head. 

Elia reached and rubbed her arm to comfort her and she smiled back a little.

Now that his love life was in order it was time to fucking focus on his friends. Nobody messes with contrabbandieri, nobody messes with my friends Elia thought.

* * *

**Mercoledi 15:22 - Assholes**

Elia was standing outside of the school in a big circle formed of his friends. All of the boys and the girls were there. He was standing leaning against the wall with Eva next to him and then, Gio who had an arm around Eva’s shoulder. Next to Gio was Eleonora and then, Silvia and Luca who were almost standing opposite of Elia. Next to Luca was Martino and then Federica and Sana. Obviously, Sana was also next to Elia which completed their circle.

They were all standing in an unusually warm winter day following the end of school and chatting amongst themselves. Elia’s focus was mostly on Luca as it had been for the past two days. After the lesson he learned from his relationship with Filippo which was to wait for people to come to him which translated as waiting for Luca to tell him about those guys, he was just silently watching. It didn’t meant that he wasn’t angry and he didn’t want to do something. He was pretty angry. 

“So what are we doing today?” Martino asked distracting Elia from his thoughts. 

And then there was Martino. Again, something else, someone else came up that exhausted all of Elia’s anger quota but still it bothered him, what Martino did. After all, Martino did know about Elia’s past mistake. He did know that Elia regretted that. How could Martino done the similar himself? Elia bit his tongue and looked away.

“I have a skype call scheduled with Edo in almost an hour.” Eleonora said checking the clock on her phone with a big smile. 

Elia had been with Filippo for two months but he couldn’t imagine being away from him like that and waiting for video calls. Eleonora and Edoardo had his respect.

“Me and Eva have a history study date.” Gio answered with an apologetic smile. 

Gio being Gio wouldn’t be mad at Martino like this, Elia knew. A side of him though, wanted Gio to be so mad. Maybe that made him a bad friend.

“Sorry, Marti.” Eva added on with a smile.

After Eleonora and Gio and Eva answered, by their order it was like it was Elia’s turn. Suddenly, the whole group was looking at him and Eva had to bump him with her elbow to get him to answer Martino’s question.

“I am busy.” Elia said dismissively while still avoiding looking at Martino. 

Elia wasn’t going to give an explanation and in fact he wasn’t busy. He was going to meet Filippo later but it was for dinner which gave him plenty of time to hang out with Martino but he didn’t want to do that based on the new information he received in the last week. His weird answer received some looks, he saw. He didn’t look at Martino’s face but he was sure he had a kind of confused face that read as ‘What did I do?’ The answering continued.

“Me, Fede, Sil and Luca are working on the new Radio Osvaldo program.” Sana answered with a similar apologetic smile.

“Yeah! The new program is going to be so fun. Get ready people!” Federica added on with a cheer which made everyone else laugh and Eva, Eleonora and Sana even did another cheer.

“It’s definitely going to be different with Luca on the show.” Sana said turning to look at Luca.

Turned out, between his answer Elia missed it too, Luca and Silvia weren’t listening into the conversation. They had a conversation going on their own; they didn’t even realize that their names were mentioned and that the others were looking at them.

“I don’t want to tell them.” Elia heard Luca said quietly to Silvia.

“But the boys could help. I know they would help.” Silvia answered softly holding Luca’s hand.

And that’s when Elia realized what the hell they were talking about. He knew he was the only one there to understand but he wasn’t the only one that heard what Silvia said. He slowly looked over at Gio who turned to him around the same time and they shared one of their trademarked looks before both of them focused back to Luca.

“I can deal with them on my own.” Luca answered with a deep sigh, still not noticing that everybody was watching him.

The way Silvia told Elia what was going on clearly showed that she thought Luca wasn’t dealing with them on his own. Elia wanted to wait truly but now even if he didn’t do anything all of the people present there was going to find out about it. Elia and Gio shared another look which was followed by an approving nod from each of them. Here it goes, Elia thought as Gio dropped his arm down from Eva’s shoulder and asked:

“What are you dealing with on your own Luca?” 

Luca and Silvia both snapped their heads at Gio like deers caught in a flashlight. Silvia looked at Elia as if she was asking him to do something. Luca opened his mouth to answer but closed it again because he probably couldn’t find something to say to cover up.

“Is this about Antonelli and Dentino?” Elia asked. 

It was out once Gio asked about it and Silvia desperately wanted him to intervene so Elia had no chance but to abandon his previous plan. 

“How-“ Luca started saying leaving everybody else confused. Then, it probably clicked to him because he turned to Silvia.

“Yes, I told him.” Silvia said looking at her boyfriend worriedly. 

“I forced her to.” Elia said cutting in.

He came in to explain because he expected Luca to get mad at her for telling but he had forgotten that Luca wasn’t him. Luca looked at Elia then quickly turned to Silvia and gave her a soothing smile. 

“What about Antonelli and Dentino?” Martino asked looking in between Elia, Luca and Silvia.

“It’s nothing.” Luca said trying to brush over the subject.

“They are bothering him in class.” Eleonora chimed in this time. Turned out, he wasn't the only one to know.

All heads turned to her this time.

“How do you know?” Luca asked this time being able to finish the same sentence.

“We are in the same class. I see them bothering you.” Eleonora replied shaking her head with a gentle smile at Luca’s brief naiveté.

“Bothering you how?” Sana asked before anybody else could looking at Luca.

It was nice that the girls were caring about Luca, that everybody was caring about Luca. That was what his best friend deserved, Elia thought.

“It’s nothing. They are just being assholes.” Luca answered with another sigh. It was clear that he wanted this conversation to be over and for everybody give their attention to something else.

“They make fun of everything he says. They repeat his words and do weird things when the teacher isn’t looking.” Silvia replied on behalf of him shrugging for a sorry as Luca looked at her.

“But I don’t care. I am fine.” Luca objected trying to look fine but right now Elia was seeing right through him.

It was clear that Luca cared a lot but he was just trying to act like he didn’t. Elia cursed to himself. How couldn’t he notice this before? He should’ve gone to Luca’s class more. Because Elia, Gio and Martino were in the same class Luca was always the one to come to them. Why couldn’t he for once notice something was going on with his friend and interfere in time? It happened with Martino, it happened with Gio. 

“You stopped talking and asking questions in class.” Silvia replied back with her eyebrows knitted from worry.

“I don’t have anything to ask anymore. I clearly know everything now.” Luca said trying to play it off as a joke. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Elia finally asked seriously (and maybe in a little offended tone) looking right through Luca.

Luca looked down as if he was feeling small under Elia’s gaze:

“I didn’t want you to do anything. I can handle it on my own.”

The boys and their obsession with dealing with everything on their own. Maybe, Elia was similar but at least when things got rough on Friday, he reached out to someone.

“Fuck’s sake Luca.” Elia said rubbing his eyes. "You don’t handle it on your own, you tell me and I handle it.” He finished getting a little angry in the end.

“Elia.” Gio said in a very calm voice to get him to calm down too while also reaching over Eva to bump Elia's shoulder.

“How many of you here told other people when you had a problem?” Luca asked in a really serious tone, one unlike him, while looking at everyone in the circle. When nobody answered he continued, “You can’t judge me.” Then, he spesifically turned to Elia first and talked while only looking at the boys, “I didn’t tell you because I don’t want you to come running. And I am fine.” He finished looking again at Elia in the last part. 

Everybody was silent for a moment. Elia would have argued more and more. He would’ve said something like ‘everybody else was stupid not to tell’, ‘you don’t seem fine right now’, ‘it doesn’t matter what you want, we come running for each other’, ‘you are my best friend and I should protect you’…but he didn’t say any of them because Gio broke the silence before him.

“Then we won’t do anything but you will tell us if they step over the line.” Gio said with a soft smile. That was Gio, being respectful to Luca’s wishes and also he knew what to do because the two already had a fight over Gio acting like Luca is a kid. “We promise, right?” he added to get others in this too.

The girls all nodded joining in the promise and support while Martino talked.

“Promise.” Martino replied reaching to give Luca a supportive squeeze on the shoulder. “And screw them. They think messing with people would make them cool. If you show them that you don’t care eventually they will get bored.” He added looking at Luca. It wasn’t the same thing but Martino clearly based this off his own experiences which made Elia feel for him even when he mad at him.

“Thanks.” Luca said smiling at Martino. 

Then, the boys turned to Elia but Elia was too angry, was too in his own mind, was too disappointed in himself for not being protective enough to notice.

“Right Elia?” Gio asked in the most serious warning tone ever. 

“Right…” Elia trailed off sharing a millisecond of a look with Gio before looking away. 

He heard the girls say some supportive stuff too as he was watching Luca. Luca too, turned to him for a second and Elia shared a look with him too. Then, Elia turned his head away while clenching his right fist and holding his back up firmly with his left end. The role he wanted to take on was a protective role and if he wanted to be protective he needed to do something or else he wouldn't have any role. Protective people didn't let their best friend get bullied by a bunch of assholes. He hated breaking promises to Luca but there was no way he was going to wait on the sidelines while somebody messed with his best friend. Elia was going to try though because he promised.

* * *

**Venerdi 20:04 - Did It Again**

Elia was over at his father’s house having dinner with him and his girlfriend, Anna. As a recap, him and Filippo were stronger than ever, he was still furious with Martino and was showing it by dismissing him and he was keeping a close eye on Luca and those boys. It had been a good week for him the romance department but a complicated week in the friend department. Now, the family department was joining in the complicated part.

It was weird but Elia was never as cold with Anna as he was with his father. It had been five years since his parents divorced and his father and Anna had been dating for two years. It was not like he was waiting for his parents to get back together; actually, his mom was better off without his father. Anna played no part in his parent’s divorce. She had always been nice to Elia so there was no point in being a jackass to her. 

“How’s school going?” Anna asked with a big smile.

“Boring.” Elia replied with a mischievous smirk. 

“Come on, I know some part of is fun.” Anna said rolling her eyes. “High school is the most entertaining time of your life!” 

“That’s such an old people thing to say.” Elia said still with the same smirk.

See, he got along with Anna really well.

“Oh, are we old now?” His dad asked trying to join in the banter.

As soon as he said that Elia felt a chill on him and he lost his previous lively mood. He knew, he knew people had worse fathers (his best friends had worse fathers) but still Elia couldn’t get over their past, over the unresolved issues. 

“You are older than me.” Elia said wiping off his smile and focusing on the food on his plate. 

He knew Anna and his father shared a look over his change of feeling and that Anna gave his father a supportive nod. She truly was a nice person.

“I forgot to ask…” Anna started saying as she took a sip from her red wine. “…how was last weekend?”

Last weekend? Did she somehow miraculously know about the day after his fight with Filippo and when on Sunday they made up? Was she over at his father’s and he didn’t notice? Elia raised his head with a scowl and his mouth a little open trying to grasp what she was saying. He took a small glance at his father who had a frozen expression similar to all those times ago.

“It better be great because your father was going to take me to a romantic getaway then he cancelled it for your trip.” She added jokingly.

Elia’s first conclusion was to think, ‘he did it again, he fucking did it again’. He sure as all wasn’t with his father last weekend and if his father lied this massively to his girlfriend about a trip they never had there has to be something going on. There has to be something bad that he did. Something bad like before. 

Anna had no idea what was going on and she seemed pretty happy while joking around and playfully grilling his father, her boyfriend. Elia gritted his teeth. This time he was going to play along, this time he wasn’t going play a role in blowing up a relationship.

“Yeah, yeah. It was great. We had a lot of fun, lots of father-son time.” Elia answered trying to avoid looking at either of them.

“Good!” Anna replied happily. “Next time, maybe I will join too.” she added looking at Stefano.

Both Elia and Stefano were in their own worlds not quite catching Anna’s words. Elia couldn’t believe he just took another part in one of his father’s lies. He swore he wouldn’t do that anymore. But more than anything he swore he wouldn’t let a secret out. Not like he did when he was 13 and not like what Martino did to Eva. So he played along while his father was still frozen, probably shocked because Elia actually played along.

“Yeah, maybe.” he replied starting to shake his leg.

“Yes, yes! That would be amazing!” Stefano said suddenly snapping out of his frozen self and acting too excitedly, too suspiciously.

Elia clenched his jaw and looked down on his plate. He didn’t feel like eating anymore but he definitely wasn’t going to join in the conversation anymore so he had to stuff his mouth with food that he wasn't feeling the taste of anymore. The dinner went on with Anna and his father conversing and Anna desperately trying to make Elia take part in the talk while his father had an apologetic face that Elia hated. 

Anna wasn’t staying over. She tried not to stay over when Elia was there because she respected boundaries. She was such a nice person whom his father didn’t deserve; just like his father didn’t deserve his mother. Elia couldn’t believe this man now screwed over two women. They said their goodbyes at the door with Elia sharing a brief hug with Anna before running back inside leaving his father with Anna. 

He was planning to run to his room after grabbing his phone from the kitchen but a minute later his father found him. So, they were going to do this now. 

“Elia- Stefano started with his shoulders sulked and still with that apologetic face.

“Don’t, dad, just don’t.” Elia said firmly trying hard to watch his voice.

Elia had played his part in his father’s lie, he didn’t need to hear more. Whatever explanation his father gave him wasn’t going to work. He wasn’t 13 anymore he wouldn’t consider believing in his father when he said that Elia saw it all wrong.

“Son, let me explain-

“I DON’T NEED YOU TO EXPLAIN!” Elia said failing at watching his voice. He took a trembling breath to try and calm down, “I can’t believe you did it again.” he said sounding so disappointed.

Because no matter how much Elia was mad at his father for the past and no matter how much he didn’t let that go some part of him was hoping that his father had changed, had learned what not to do in a relationship. 

“It’s not what you think, really.” Stefano said looking really sad.

Elia had heard this one before. Then, it turned out it was exactly what Elia saw and thought.

“Really?” Elia asked with an angry laugh. "Because it sure as hell seems like that time when you took me to the cinema…” he said making air quotes around cinema. “…while you were actually kissing some woman, that was not my mother, in your car.” 

The sudden reminder of this whole fucking event made his father pause for a second probably to try and form an answer. That little pause though, didn’t reach well to Elia.

“Remember? You know I still can’t get in your car five years later, even after you sold that fucking one.” Elia said clicking his jaw.

It took everything in Elia to not smash up that car after everything that went down. He even grabbed his skateboard ready to blow the windows into pieces but somehow he stopped himself thinking about his mother and looking down that old cross necklace he had.

“Elia…” His father finally managed to say but Elia didn’t give him the chance.

“NO! I am not believing in your lies again.” Elia said firmly. “I am gonna play along this time so I won’t tell Anna but I am done listening to you."

It was the first time this, the fact that his father cheated on her mother and Elia witnessed it, came up between them after the divorce. His father while acting like he was trying to be a nice father never tried to solve this and Elia being afraid of losing himself never opened it up. 

Before his father could say anything, could explain himself Elia walked past him and rushed to his room slamming the door hardly after him. He might have shaken the house a bit or it felt like that to Elia out of his anger.

After seeing his father kissing, making out with some random woman Elia had run away making a bit of a noise which made his father realize what just happened. That evening, he took Elia to the side and told him some bullshit story about how it was a mistake, how the woman was just a co-worker and she had kissed him and he didn’t do anything and a 13-year-old Elia ate that up. At the dinner, when his mother asked what his father did that day he told a bullshit story of how he took Elia to see a movie. A week later this time he saw them kissing again in a cafe near his father’s work. For a man trying to have an affair his father was really loose on the sneaking around part.

That time his father didn’t realize that Elia had seen him. Elia couldn’t sleep for two days after that. He also couldn’t look at his mother’s face for two days. When Gio asked him over to play FIFA he didn’t go which was a sign something was wrong with that Elia.

God, he couldn’t just let his mother go on without knowing this, without knowing that she was being cheated on. He was still trying to hold it in until five days later his mother showed him that she made his father’s favourite meal that day. That was when Elia broke down. 

What followed after was something Elia wasn’t farsighted enough to see. For days his parents fought; there were screaming matches, tears. Then came the courtrooms and divorce trials and custody battles and alimony hearings…. 

This was why Elia smacked Gio on the head when he found out he cheated on Laura with Eva. He didn’t talk to Gio for a week because Gio knew what Elia went through he should’ve known not to cheat. Gio came and apologized and eventually Elia forgave him because going a week without talking to Gio was hell and because Gio was a stupid teenager while his father was a fucking adult.

This was why when Eva cheated on Gio, Elia was so angry with her. She hurt his friend, that was one thing and he couldn’t believe Eva knew how much the cheating hurt Laura and did it to Gio anyway. A part of him also wanted to say that Gio should’ve seen that coming not because of Eva but because cheaters get cheated on. But he didn’t.

This was also why he was furious with Martino right now. Because even after years he couldn’t shake the thought that if he just didn’t tell her mother about what he know, if he just shut his mouth like he promised his father then, maybe his parents would be together now. Maybe he wouldn’t have two homes. His mother wouldn’t have cried that much and he wouldn’t hate his father this much. And Martino knew his story too. Martino knew how much Elia blamed himself over sliping that secret. He should have taken lessons from Elia and shouldn’t have done it. 

Finally this was why he was so doubtful about Filippo before because he was fucking afraid that he would be cheated on too.

Back then he was less angry at Gio because he saw his father in him but he saw himself in Martino which made his anger worse.

Elia punched his pillow and then lied down on the bed trying to clear his head. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! Let me know what you think!
> 
> So, first of, if you think there is less Elippo then you expected that's a valid thought. I love Elippo and their relationship is a core part of this fic but this fic is essentially about Elia. Because of this, there is a lot focus on the backstory and the plot I created based on how I see Elia as a character. Still, I can promise in the next chapter and the chapters after 6 there will be more Elippo than now.
> 
> Secondly, kind of basing on how much the fandoms adore Gio and want every friend in the Skamverse to be like him I projected those feelings to Elia. As you can see there are a lot of times Elia compares himself to Gio in terms of being a friend and feels less of a good friend.
> 
> Thirdly, I promise Elia's short temper and anger, him wanting to take on a protective role for the people loves, the fact that he is a bisexual man in a relationship with another man and him wanting to keep Luca from harm will all tie up in the next chapter and mean something.
> 
> Lastly, I want to show this season Elia learn some lessons and actually help other people learn some lessons too. I want to show him grow and use that grow for others' learning. That's where the whole Martino's secret will come into play.
> 
> Like always, you can come talk to me on tumblr : @youleavebehindmemories


	5. Episode 5 : The Worst Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, hello people!
> 
> Can you believe we are half way done? 'Cause I can't.
> 
> This chapter is a lot get ready. It's definitely a rollercoaster of emotions. We are getting deeper into Elia's mind and his insecurities and his weaknesses. We are learning about the person he wants to be but is it really a good idea to be that person? We'll see. 
> 
> Basically, this is like most of the episode fives in Skamverse, where the main finally breaks.
> 
> Hope you'll like it!
> 
> (fyi : the next chapter might be one or two days late. like instead of tuesday i might upload on thursday because writing the chapters take so much time and between being at uni whole day and spending 5 hours on two clips i don’t have time to do anything else. so i just need a better time management)

**Sabato 12:27 - Half-Fooling**

Despite his father calling him for breakfast and knocking on his door Elia didn’t come out. He chose to angrily starve in his room instead of going out and having another fight with his father. Right now, he was lying in his bed just staring at the ceiling playing with a little plastic ball in his hands, just throwing it up and catching it.

He got things out of his system last night, at least a little bit and he wasn’t interested in hearing anything else from his father. Whatever lie his father came up with Elia knew he was just going to yell again and bring up old stuff. There was no use in that. They haven’t talked about all that shit for five years; his father never tried to make things right and now, Elia wasn’t going to give him the chance. His father had all the time for that. Elia wasn’t going to let his father use him learning about the cheating on his now-girlfriend, who was nothing but nice, as an excuse to explain his past shittiness. 

Elia accidentally threw the ball too high which caused it to come down wobbly so Elia missed it. He heard the ball fall to the ground, thankfully without knocking anything down so not making any noise, so not getting any attention. He groaned and closed his eyes while gritting his teeth.

And if he wasn’t his father… What kind of person doesn’t take any lessons from the harm he caused? Gio, somebody much younger, was ten times better in his relationship with Sofia because of the lessons he learned from when he was with Eva. Martino had learned his lesson and was now telling them the problems he had especially the ones with Nicco. He knew these guys for years and most of the time they were super dumb and they managed to grow so his father really had no excuse.

Then, Elia’s phone beeped on the nightstand so he reached over fumbling. It was a text from Luca asking him to lunch. The text also said that Luca was going to ask the other boys too. Elia quickly typed a message that said _“Yeah! That would be great. Don’t ask the boys. Let’s have an Elia-Luca lunch date._ ” Luca truly came in like a savior because Elia wanted to get out of the house and not think about last night. He wanted to be drama free for one day. That’s why he said no to the rest of the contrabbandieri.

Elia suddenly jumped up from his bed. He rummaged through the tiny closet he had over at his father’s and picked up a dark green sweatshirt. He pulled it over his head, over his grey t-shirt and put on his coat. He grabbed his phone from the bed and his wallet from the nightstand. At the last second, he remembered to pick up his backpack. He stuffed the really important things like his charger and his cigarettes and the one notebook he uses for all of his classes into it and he got out of his room.

He heard the noise coming from television the television in the living room. His dad was definitely there so he needed to rush out the door. Elia clenched his fists and then opened them. He was trying to calm down and not just walk into the living room and yell. Even if he didn’t walk in, there was a high chance that he might just run into his father. So, he needed to be calm enough to be able to ignore him.

Elia walked so fast that by the time his father heard him and got up Elia had already walked the whole corridor and reached the door. His father called after him:

“Elia! Wait!” Stefano said moving towards to door too.

As for Elia, he didn’t even turn around. He took a deep breath and let it out before opening the door. When his father almost caught him up he slammed the door behind him with the loudest noise. Once he was outside the door took another breath in. At least this time he didn’t have to look at his father’s face while he was lying for him. Now, he felt as if he was only half-fooling Anna. He knew that wasn’t the case because he was fooling her and letting down a woman who always cared about him but Elia needed to think like that to not flip out entirely.

* * *

**Sabato 13:42 - Pizza Date**

Elia and Luca decided to meet at their regular cafe, the one they both adored because it had the best food and somehow wasn’t that expensive. It had colorful wooden chairs and wooden tables and different drawings on the wall. They served what every other cafe served but Elia and Luca had a tradition of ordering one thing between them and splitting it up. Sometimes when they were super hungry they would order two things but still split them up. For that specific day, Elia was actually very hungry because he skipped breakfast but he also didn’t feel like eating much. So they opted for a classical Sicilian pizza which they both liked.

Elia was ripping of every pizza piece with such force that he caught Luca giving him confused looks. He needed to channel his anger to somewhere and well, it wasn’t the pizza’s lucky day.

Elia was slurping from his lemonade, somehow angrily, when Luca said chewing up a big piece:

“Why didn’t you want Gio and Marti and Nicco here?”

Elia looked up from his glass, his straw. He hated lying to Luca but he hated the idea of bringing Luca into this mess more. Ideally, he wanted Martino to talk to Gio soon and the two of them to work it out without needing anybody else to get involved. That was the cleanest way things could be solved. So, there was no reason to tell Luca about this.

“We haven’t hanged out, just us, for a while.” Elia said with a small smirk.

That wasn’t in fact a lie. As much as he loved all of contrabbandieri sometimes Elia would just want to have one-on-one times. Also, not that he would complain out loud to Luca and he wasn’t complaining in his head either but lately even if the other boys weren’t there Silvia was always around. On another note, Elia couldn’t wait for the day Luca would want them to hang out alone without Filippo.

“Did you miss me?” Luca asked laughing.

Thankfully, Luca didn’t understand this wrongly in terms of Silvia.

“Of course. I can’t get enough of you.” Elia replied with another smirk and an additional wink.

Turned out just being around Luca was enough to somewhat deflate Elia’s anger. It was hard to stay mad and sit with a scowl and not laugh and not joke around with Luca’s bubbly and lively personality.

Luca sent him an air kiss and they went back to having their lunch after clinking their pizza slices. One time his phone and it was his father so he quickly turned it off receiving a look from Luca. The pizza was half gone and so were Elia’s lemonade and Luca’s coke. For some time they kept eating without talking. Sure, Elia’s anger was deflated but that didn’t mean he was exactly fine. Not wanting to play a role in blowing up a relationship, his father and Anna, didn’t mean that he wasn’t feeling guilty for keeping a secret like that, again. His mind was all over the place, so much all over the place that he didn’t realize his eyes were locked at a point on the wall, over Luca’s shoulder.

Elia came to himself when he saw a slice flopping in front of him. Luca was shaking the pizza piece he was holding up and down probably to get Elia’s attention. Elia quickly shook his head and gave his attention back to Luca. He gave out a breath and tried to put on a cocky smile, trying to act like the most Elia way possible. 

“Am I more boring than a wall?” Luca asked with a smile. 

Elia looked up at him smiling with his eyebrows raised. That was of course a rhetorical question but normally Elia would shoot back to that with a sarcastic or a joking comment. He did neither and just stared at Luca with a small smile.

“What’s wrong?” Luca asked putting down his pizza. Elia knew that if Luca was putting down his pizza then he was going into a serious mood and that he was worried.

“Nothing!” Elia tried to say in a fun objecting voice but came out a little harsh.

“Are you planning to do something about Antonelli and Dentino?” Luca asked with slumped shoulders looking Elia straight in the eye.

Fuck. There was that. When did I got such a short term memory?, Elia thought. It was like in his mind he only had one department to worry about one thing. He should have been analyzing Luca at this lunch, trying to find out if he was okay rather than being stuck inside his mind. He truly was a terrible friend.

“Luca…” Elia started than closed his eyes with a sigh.

“Because I don’t want you to do anything. Do you understand Elia?” Luca said probably in the most serious tone Elia had heard him use.

“But they are fucking bullying you Luca. You. I need to do something.” Elia breathing out through his nose in the end. He was getting angry again because once again he wasn’t doing anything to protect somebody in his life.

“No. You don’t.” Luca said shaking his from side-to-side. “Those two, they say stupid shit to everyone. I am not the only one. I don’t take it personally.” Luca ended with a shrug.

If Elia knew him a little, and he did know Luca a lot, maybe he was not taking everything personally but here sure was taking some things personally. Luca was like that. Things affected him easily. Elia started shaking his right leg under the table and looked at Luca with a sigh. He didn’t know what to say because in his mind and in his heart he wanted to do something, to get involved, to smack those guys.

“Elia, promise?” Luca said when he didn’t answer. Luca's head was tilted to the side; he was literally saying please with his head.

So, naturally Elia couldn’t resist and had to make a promise where there was a chance he wouldn’t be able to keep it. When-if he broke it than that would be the worst.

“Promise.” Elia said nodding with a blank expression.

He didn’t know whether Luca believed him or not but at least he looked convinced enought to let it go. But really this wasn’t what Elia was thinking and he wasn’t able to act like he was being such a caring and a good friend. He felt like he needed to come clean. 

“And that’s not what I was thinking of anyway.” Elia added under his breath.

Luca’s head snapped up with a worried look:

“What were you thinking of?”

Yeah, well Elia asked for this question. Literally. Considering the lesson he learned last week with Eva : you needed to talk to somebody, talk to a friend about your problems. It helped with Filippo. It might help with his jackass father.

“I had a fight with my dad.” Elia said playing with his straw. “Old stuff came up.” He added averting his eyes. Elia didn’t need to explain more, Luca would know what he meant with old stuff.

Luca nodded slowly and raised both of his eyebrows as if he had just come to a realization. If Elia’s mind wasn’t this messed up he might have smiled at this reaction.

“Oh.” Luca said slowly. “What did he say?” then, he asked.

Elia didn’t actually want to get into the stuff prior to their fight because if he was going to keep his father cheating on her girlfriend a secret (properly) then, he needed to not tell anybody about it. Unfortunately that included Luca too. He didn’t want to be 13-year-old Elia or 16-year-old Martino.

"I just yelled at him. I didn’t give him a chance to say anything.” Elia replied with a shaky breath.

Luca nodded understandingly:

“That means you needed to get some things out. You have been holding everything in. I think like you should like talk to him. But if you don’t want to, you can stay over at mine this weekend?” Luca suggested with a smile and a shrug.

And that was why talking to people worked because even when they didn’t give you a solution or not even a tangible step-by-step advice, they knew just what you needed. Luca being his best friend knew that Elia wanted to get out the house and not have to face his father this weekend.

“Good thing I have my bag ready.” Elia said smiling and pointing at his backpack lying on the ground.

Luca looked down at the bag and smiled too. He then raised his glass of coke and said:

“I’ll drink to that.” he said with a chuckle.

Elia breathed out with a small chuckle and raised his glass too. Luca just got him so well and so quickly. The things he yelled out were the things he had been wanting to yell out for some time, for five years exactly. And Luca was right. He needed to talk to his father and just let out what else he needed to say and let him answer. Not right now though, not when his father is actively involved in another cheating. It was going to have to wait till he willingly broke up with Anna.

Elia and Luca clinked their glasses and slurped their remaining drinks. Elia was feeling better, he was breathing better than last night. It was thanks to Luca that he got his stomach full and also his head was relatively more empty. So he reached to give Luca a little pat on the head but Luca managed to jerk his head back.

“Hey! Your hands are greasy.” Luca said with a laugh.

“Since when are you afraid of a little grease.” Elia said with a smile trying to reach in again.

This was Luca’s role. He was able to cheer Elia up just by being himself and doing nothing more than the ordinary. It was just because he was Luca. So now, what did it say about Elia if he didn’t try to take on a protective role and showed it to those assholes? But also what did it say about Elia if he broke his promise to his best friend? So, yeah, he was fucked either way. 

* * *

**Lunedi 21:35 - Italian Cinema**

Elia was feeling better on this particular Friday evening and his anger and the mess in his head were replaced with much more happy feelings because he was just exiting a movie theater with Filippo by his side. Of course it was just being around Filo and Filo just being himself that got him like this. Also, there was the fact that Elia was able to let go of himself around Filippo. He didn’t need to act so cool, be so cool and he was able to show a softer side of him. It wasn’t like he was pretending with other people, well aside from his sexuality, but he felt like he was most true to himself around Filippo.

Elia didn’t want to pressure him about how they were acting in public even though Filo didn’t have an issue about holding hands or making out on the streets. Elia was just trying to do everything overly-right. So Elia waited and waited as they took their steps out on the street. Suddenly he felt Filippo grab his hand and give his hand a little squeeze. He smiled to himself and then, looked up at Filo with that sweet smile. Yeah, waiting and respecting worked spectacularly.

They walked like that for a while in the dimmed streets with Elia just trying to stay in the moment and focus on Filo. It helped a lot when Filo stopped and put his hand on Elia’s face, pulling him in for a kiss. Elia gave in too and they shared a long kiss while still holding their other hands. 

“This is for you watching a black and white movie with full attention.” Filo said with a smirk.

Since Elia wanted to be a good boyfriend he decided to at least try to get more into Filo’s interests. He was actually the one to insist that they didn’t go to a shits and giggles movie but a really meaningful, preferably old movie.

“I didn’t know that we made such deep movies.” Elia said smirking back.

“Looks like somebody needs to be introduced into Italian cinema. I think Fellini was a good start.” Filo said starting to walk again.

Okay, Elia wasn’t that uneducated. He had heard about Fellini before. I mean people talked about him; he was a big Italian filmmaker, he had all these fancy awards. But Elia sure wasn’t like educated, educated on film and dating a college student required him to be educated on film (not just football and FIFA).

“Yeah. That-that dream thing in the beginning was so cool and so symbolic.” Elia said shaking his head up and down.

Could he have sounded any dumber? Really what was Filo doing with him?

“It was.” Filippo said laughing. “I mean it’s one of the best opening scenes ever. It sets the tone for the rest of the movie perfectly.” he added squeezing Elia’s hand.

Once again, what was Filo doing with him?

“I agree.” was all Elia could say because honestly all Elia understood was that, that scene was symbolic. He honestly had no idea what it was supposed to symbolize.

“You know, nobody ever watched a two and a half hour movie for me.” Filippo said with a grin.

Elia knew that Filo was joking around using the movies but it also felt like he was being super sincere too. Like he was impressed and touched that Elia actually watched the movie and not just sat next to him for kisses inside a dark theater.

“And I never wanted to watch every arthouse movie, every old movie in the world, black and white, silent, included for anyone.” Elia said with a similar grin stopping walking and pulling down on Filippo’s hand to get him to stop too.

Filippo was powerful like that. Or maybe powerful was wrong to say. Elia cared about Filippo that much; that much that he would willingly try to make sense of a sequence that showed a man suffocating in his car while other people watched. If there was anything he learned from the relationships around him, it was in the small things. Big gestures were nice but watching his boyfriend’s one of favourite movies was, in the end, better than those big gestures.

This time Elia pulled Filippo into a kiss by literally pulling Filo to himself by his coat (he liked that move a lot). Because Filippo was the one to start the other kiss, Elia knew he was comfortable with kissing there. Now that both of his hands were free, after getting Filippo close he grabbed his boyfriend’s face by two hands and gave him a kiss. They kissed and kissed and kissed and it was so nice under the stars and the moon. Elia felt a warm feeling spread through his chest.

Filo was standing nearer to the street with his back turned there and Elia was on the opposite way. So, when they broke apart and they were resting their foreheads together he was able to spot the people passing by them on the side walk. In the moment he opened his eyes he saw two men looking at them sternly, shaking their heads and mumbling. As much lovely as it was with Filippo it also took Elia a second to get sucked right into the real world and push back down his softer side.

“Hey!” Elia yelled at the guys which made Filippo look back too.

The guys looked at Elia and shared a look between them and started walking away. Elia knew why they were staring, he had seen tons of people stare at Martino and Nicco out in the public. It was the most uncomfortable thing to be judged by silent strangers.

“Hey! Come back here!” Elia shouted after them taking a few steps forward.

But Filippo stepped forward too and took Elia’s face in his hands forcing Elia to look at him instead of the guys disappearing into the distance.

“Elia! What’s going on?” Filippo asked worriedly trying to get him to calm down.

In the back of his mind Elia had been expecting a moment like this. There was no way they weren’t gonna deal with every day fascists, being two men dating in the world. It felt different than what he felt over Martino receiving a similar stare. In both case Elia was super furious but now it was a different kind of furious. One came from the protective feelings over his best friend, the other came from feeling insulted to his character and willing to do anything to protect his boyfriend.

“They were staring.” Elia said clenching his jaw. It was enough of an explanation and Elia wasn’t calm enough to get out more sentences.

Filippo sighed deeply and Elia saw his eyes soften. He caressed Elia's face slowly and Elia started to breath more regularly. He was already a little bit calmer, thanks to Filo’s gentle touches.

“Elia, if I fought with everybody that stared at me, I would have been in tons of fights.” Filippo said with another sigh.

Was this the person that gave Martino that big speech?, Elia thought. He didn’t understand this; he didn’t get how could somebody just ignore this kind of treatment.

“So, am I just supposed to let it go?” Elia asked with an angry scowl, not directed at Filo of course, but he was confused and angry.

“Yeah, kinda.” Filippo said with a soft shrug.

“I can’t just let it go.” Elia said again surprised by Filippo’s reaction. “That’s not me. I ‘need' to protect you.” Elia added firmly with an emphasis on need.

“Do you think you can change a random stranger’s mind about you and about me? Do you think you can make them less homophobic? I’ve learned to not waste my breath on those people and not give them a time of my day. I am being me, all me, at home, out on the street and I don’t care what they think.” Filo said still holding Elia’s face.

“And if they come at me?” Elia said still with angry flashes in his eyes.

Sure, Filippo had the experience, he knew how to deal with these kinds of incidents. But Elia was Elia and he couldn’t just accept the fact that he had to not care about these people that literally didn’t want him to exist. That he had to let them go on with their lives after disrupting a peaceful time for him and his boyfriend. That he had to not do anything to protect his boyfriend too.

“Depending on the situation you deal with it.” Filippo said showing an opposite kind of tone and mood from Elia. “Fighting isn’t going to solve anything. You can bash a fascist’s head in but nothing will change in their minds. If anything it gets you into trouble. Most of the time it’s just best to walk away.”

“And when they punched Martino?” Elia asked harshly.

Elia knew that was painful for Filippo too, to see somebody from his community be treated like that, to see the guy he preached to about fascists be attacked by fascists. But he had to bring that up.

“If I was there I would have punched those assholes too.” Filippo said nodding with a mix of sadness and anger in his eyes. “Doesn’t make it the right move though.” he added with his eyes softening.

It was the right move, Elia wanted to say. How could he have walked away when they punched his best friend because he was being himself? How could he ever walk away if they came at Filippo for being the most unapologetically himself person Elia knew, for the man he cared so so much about? He couldn’t. His heart wouldn’t let him. He was supposed to be the protective person. But he didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to argue with Filippo right now, not after what just happened. He just wanted to kiss and hold Filo.

“You okay?” Filippo asked caressing his cheek.

“Yeah, yeah.” Elia nodded holding onto Filippo’s arms.

Then, Filippo pulled him into a tight hug and Elia wrapped his arms around him. They stood like this under the moon and the stars with Elia finding his calm self again with Filippo’s hold.

Once again, he was sure that he wouldn’t, he couldn’t let it go when somebody said something to Filo, to his Filo. Elia always found it hard to keep his anger down and hard to hold his tongue. But with this and all the shit piling on for the last weeks, it was getting harder and harder. 

* * *

**Martedi 16:13 - A Good Man**

Elia opened the house door with a sigh. Once he entered inside his mother's house, he dropped his backpack to the ground slowly almost in a weary way. The boys literally begged him to come along with them to the skatepark but he was so tired of being angry at Martino while also trying to keep his mouth shut. Most of the time Eva was covering his slip ups. Then, there was his father who keeps calling him. Elia was ignoring every single call. He was still waiting to be ready to talk to him but Elia wasn’t a monster, his father did know that Elia was at his mother’s and fine. He also knew the reason why Elia wasn’t picking up.

There was also last night’s incident. Once his anger was somewhat deflated again, another terrible feeling came over him. He realized he didn’t know how Filo did it, how Martino and Nicco did it? How did they manage to accept that there are people in the world who hates them because of who they were with, without actually knowing anything about them? Elia wanted to shout at those people and point at himself and say “I’m Elia Santini and I am actually very cool and I try to be a good person. And I bet you would like me if you know me.”

According to Filo, the step after accepting was to just letting go and not caring which even after sleeping on it for a night Elia found it hard to agree with. It wasn’t just this. It wasn’t just fascists homophobes giving looks at him and his boyfriend. Elia couldn’t accept the fact that he needed not to do anything when people come at his loved ones. He couldn’t just turn his face away from the homophobes just like he couldn’t turns his face away from the assholes that were messing with Luca.

While he was thinking about all these he didn’t hear all the noise coming in from the kitchen. Elia dropped down his coat too, on his backpack and made his way to the kitchen with a scowl. There were only a few steps left when he managed to make out Uncle Dario’s voice. He groaned and pulled off his earring and put it in his pocket. Uncle Dario talked a lot when he saw Elia with an earring and that Elia didn’t have the capacity to listen to that.

He closed his eyes and walked in with a sigh. His mother was just pouring some coffee to three cups while Uncle Dario and Christian sat at the kitchen table. Christian too?, he thought. Elia really didn’t want to deal with them right now but he had to play along. Their whole family story depended on playing along.

“Hi.” he said entering the kitchen catching the attention of the three other people.

Elia greeted them one by one, starting with his uncle and then his cousin and finally his mother. While he was hugging his mother, he gave her a look that meant ‘Why are they here?’ and his mother just shrugged as a reply. She got out another cup to pour coffee for Elia. Elia helped her and gave the two cups to Uncle Dario and Christian. After that, he picked up his cup and stood in front of the counter while his mother took her place in the table too.

“So, what brings you here?” Elia asked looking at Dario with a forced smile, the kind that was reserved only for the family.

“Nothing just wanted to see my sister. And show the neighbors that this house isn’t unattended.” Dario said mixed with laughter and seriousness.

God. Elia rolled his eyes so hard he thought they might drop out of his skull.

“Well, I have Elia here.” his mother said looking at him with a bright smile.

Elia was about to roll his eyes again and snap back with something ironic but then he didn’t. Even though he completely disagreed with this mentality, his mother giving that kind of responsibility to Elia was something he could back up his character with. His desperate search for a role in people’s lives combined with his overly protective side made him be proud of this responsibility even if the logic was outdated.

“Yeah. I am here.” Elia said in such a serious tone that even he was surprised. He looked up from his cup to his uncle with a strong gaze.

Elia saw Christian roll his eyes at him and gave out a little chuckle. His father, Dario, gave him a look that basically meant shot up so Christian went back to drinking his coffee.

“I know that son. But do you?” Dario asked and a cold breeze went through the room.

Was Elia now gonna be mad at his uncle Dario too? He was already feeling some anger at what he was guessing that sentence meant.

“What does that mean?” Elia asked putting down his cup on the counter with a little noise.

His mother gave him a look with her head tilted to the side that meant ‘Don’t.’

“Look, with your father not being in the house anymore and you becoming more of a man each day, there are some things that fall on your shoulder.”

Elia couldn’t believe he was having this conversation right now. Christian sighed and leaned back on his chair. Elia had a feeling that he had similar themed conversations with his dad million times before.

“Dario.” Carina said in a tone that meant that he should stop this conversation.

“Come on, this talk has been a long time coming.” Dario said to his sister and then turned to Elia. He threw one arm to the back of his chair and continued, “You need to show people that there is a man living in this house. Your mother might be bringing the house money but-

“Uncle.” Elia said getting impatient and not wanting to hear wherever that was headed.

Elia was literally biting his cheek and looking at his mother basically asking her to do something with his eyes. How the hell was he supposed to ’show that there was a man in the house’? What did that even mean? Wasn’t he being a good enough son, a good enough man? In the corner of his eyes, he saw Christian watch him carefully.

“Dad, maybe, you should skip that part.” Christian said quietly while turning his coffee cup around in his hands.

Elia turned his head at Christian and looked at him with a surprised expression. Did Christian, just now, helped him? Perhaps he didn’t really know his cousin of 18 years. Dario looked in between his son and his sister. He moved his hand in front him in a dismissing way.

“Fine. That’s for another time.” Dario said with a fake-nice tone. “But you should still know as the only man in the home, as a member of this family you have a role. You should protect your mom and you should protect your cousins. Always.” sharply with using his hands a lot.

God, Elia thought, finally the time came that I agreed with my uncle. Elia couldn’t believe what he was thinking, that his uncle got him, that protecting people was his role. Finally someone wasn’t pushing him to take the high road but was showing him what it was all about. (A little voice in the back of his mind was also thinking about all the wrong reasonings of his uncle and how this could have been a wrong reasoning too.)

In his mind after ‘you should protect your cousins’, Elia also added ‘you should protect the contrabbandieri and Filo and the girls too, basically everyone in your life that you loved.’ This also had a lot to do with Elia’s definition of family. For him, Gio and Martino, no matter how mad he was to him, and Luca and Nicco and Filo, obviously Filo, and Eva and Silvia and all of the girls were family too.

“I know that, Uncle. I promise.” Elia said really seriously looking at Dario in the eyes. Even Dario was taken aback with Elia’s reaction; he probably didn’t expect this kind of a sincere and meaningful tone.

While his mother was giving him a surprised look too and even Christian looked like he was thinking just what Elia was thinking before, ‘is this my cousin?’.

“You're good man.” Dario said getting up from his seat and giving Elia a pat on the shoulder.

Getting there, Elia thought. He still needed to fulfill his role as a protector before he really became a good man. His mom was still watching him with suspicious eyes. Elia knew that she actually mostly agreed with Uncle Dario on this but she also knew that Elia wouldn’t.

“I was going to say you should be more like Christian but maybe Christian should be more like you.” Uncle Dario added with another strong pat on the shoulder. 

Elia nodded with a smirk at this comment and his mother smiled at this comment. Christian rolled his eyes and leaned back on his chair. Elia was finding this reaction amusing because that might be the first time in his life that he wasn’t compared to Christian but Christian was compared to him. Oh, how have the tables turned.

In hindsight though, maybe he should have seen something wrong with getting this much support from Uncle Dario’s and being better in his eyes than his son, Christian. After all, Elia had spent his almost entire life not liking what his uncle’s conservative mind thought about gender roles and how Christian behaved and how much Christian thought he could get away with everything.

At the time though, he was glad to have back up to his feelings.

* * *

**Mercoledi 17:12 - Burning Bridges  
**

After hanging out with Luca and Silvia after school they separated. It was nice hanging with them. Silvia always gave him those knowing looks about Filippo and Luca was making him and Silvia laugh every second. Also, his bigger mission was to keep an eye on Luca and try to learn exactly what Antonelli and Dentino were saying to him, doing to him. It was going to help him decide what to do about that mess. Despite his promise whether he was actually going to get involved or not was still unclear too. Anyway, Silvia had to go home and Luca was going to drop her off. They said their goodbyes and Elia made his way to Diego’s Cafe.

He wanted to kill some time before going home, before he had to start studying. He also wanted to see Gio. God, Gio had the weirdest fucking schedule ever. Well, it was great that Diego was letting Gio decide weekly which days he wanted to work so Gio was planning around homework and quizzes and outings but it was weird. If Eva was there it would be good to see her too and to talk. They haven’t really had an alone time for Elia to share more about Filo since last week. He knew that Martino was going to pick up Nicco after school so he didn’t need to worry about seeing him either.

Elia entered the cafe with a smile that got bigger when he spotted Gio preparing an order. There wasn’t anyone in the line aside from the woman waiting for her order. A few seconds later Gio turned around and at first he didn’t spot Elia, he just gave the woman her cup with a trademarked charming Gio smile. Then, finally he saw Elia and a big smile smile appeared on his face.

“If it isn’t my favourite customer.” Gio said with a grin.

“And if it isn’t my favourite barista.” Elia replied with a grin of his own.

“What can I give you today Mr.Santini?” Gio said leaning on the counter a little. 

“Surprise me!” Elia said with a laugh and a chuckle. 

Gio laughed back and immediately grabbed a cup. He threw the cup in the air and caught it which made Elia laugh again. Then, Gio started preparing something for Elia. Elia was watching him do it and it looked like he was making something super fancy. In the middle of making it Gio was giving Elia looks with his eyebrows raised like he was plotting something. A few minutes later he was done making it and turned around. He gave the cup to Elia with a mischievous smirk.

“What is in this?” Elia asked guessing Gio was messing with him. He opened the lit up and smelled the coffee; it really smelled like anything but coffee.

Gio shrugged with a twinkle in his eyes. That meant he definitely was messing with Elia.

“I am gonna hate this right?” Elia said throwing his head back with a playful groan.

“If you hate latte with almond milk and caramel and cacao sprinkled over it then you’ll hate it.” Gio said going into a big laughter. 

Elia flipped Gio off with his empty hand. Elia hated caramel. That was a known fact. He also didn’t like anything other than cow milk. He knew that was bad for the environment and he even heard something about from Gio’s little brother, Marco, last week but whatever he only liked cow milk. 

“You asked for a surprise!” Gio answered still laughing.

Elia rolled his eyes and flipped Gio again. It wasn’t like he was going to make Gio do another one; Gio had found the loophole. Elia was about to snap back with a joke of his own when somebody yelled his name. Gio looked at the source of the noise with a big smile and Elia turned around hoping he heard the voice wrong. 

At the back corner, facing the counter, Eva, Martino and Nicco were sitting. Nicco was the one who yelled his name, obviously. Eva wouldn’t call him over knowing he didn’t want to be around Martino and Martino must have noticed how cold Elia had been to him. Eva, had an apologetic look almost saying that she tried to stop him. Elia knew Martino was going to pick up Nicco but he wasn’t farsighted enough to think he would bring his boyfriend over to their common best friend’s work.

“Well, Mr.Santini you are waited at your table.” Gio said keeping his big and soft smile, reserved for his friends, while shaking his curls off his face. 

The three of them at the table had seen Elia, Gio was surely waiting for him to go over their friends' table. Elia had no way out of this. Maybe after sitting for five minutes he could find an excuse or maybe he could pretend his mom called hin. ın anyway, he needed to walk over there now. He paid for his coffe and gave Gio a tiny but faltering smile to make sure he didn’t suspect anything before turning around.

Then, he gave out a little breath and walked over to the table. He took the seat beside Eva and felt her eyes on her. Elia, dropped his backpack to the ground really loudly. If Gio wasn’t his best friend Elia would hated him for giving him the least strong coffee in the world when Elia needed the most strong coffee in the world to get through this conversation without snapping on Martino.

A few minutes passed with the worst uncomfortable silence Elia had ever been a part of. Eva tried to open up some topics or at least tried to continue with what the three of them were talking about before. But nothing stuck because Martino was watching him carefully, Elia was trying to avoid saying anything, Eva was constantly trying to say something and Nicco was sitting confused as hell. Elia was just about to act like he got a message or something to get away from the table when Martino opened his mouth instead.

“Okay, Elia what is your problem with me?” Martino said throwing his hands up. “If you just tell me what I did wrong instead of ignoring me, maybe I can do something to make it up.” he added in a fed up tone. 

Elia gritted his teeth and turned his head to Eva. He didn’t want to reply with anything but he didn’t know how much more he could have stayed silent. He was just asking Eva to either do something or just let him say whatever he wanted. Nicco still had a confused look not understanding what was the elephant in the room. 

Eva sighed and throw her hair behind her ear:

“He knows Marti.” she said queitly. 

Nicco got what it meant sooner than Martino or at least it seemed like that to Elia. Considering how Nicco was helping Eva keep quiet at that party when she was drunk, it was clear that Nicco already knew about it. Elia wasn’t surprised at that. Nicco moved his hand to Martino’s back and gave him a comforting rub. And that was when Martino knew what it meant. 

“Why did you tell him?” Martino asked looking at Eva disbelievingly. 

Now, it was time for Elia to speak. He had no chance not to.

“I asked her and you cannot expect her to keep that a secret. It’s a burden.” Elia said angrily squeezing his cup. If he squeezed it a little more the coffee would pop of and spill. 

“She asked Marti to keep something first.” Nicco said slowly coming in defence of his boyfriend. “Sorry, Eva.” he added looking at her. 

Eva just shook her head from side to side and put on a little smile directed at the couple:

“It’s okay. I know my fault in doing that.”

Eva could have had two years to get over this but Elia had known about this shit for only two weeks. Also, Eva and Nicco didn’t know but Elia had a personal connection to this. Martino had to know though, he had to know exactly how much angry Elia would get over this. 

“Do you know how much this is hurting their relationship? Do you know how worried Gio was after that party?” Elia asked harshly. 

Maybe guilt tripping your best friend wasn’t a good move but this was Elia and when he was angry he couldn’t exactly plan out the good moves. Martino looked down with a sigh and Nicco gave him another soothing back rub. 

“I know Elia. It seems all I do is ruin their relationship.” Martino said still looking down.

If it was Gio in his place, hell if it was Luca in his place, they would look at Martino’s hurt face and stop talking right there and then. But guess he wasn’t as good of a friend or maybe he was just too protective of the other. Elia tried to think that he was the second one even if he knew he was the first one. 

“Then, why do you keep doing it, huh?” Elia asked keeping the same harsh tone. “Have you learned nothing from me?” he added closing his eyes and shaking his head out of anger. 

Elia saw Eva and Nicco share a look trying to see if the other one understood what Elia meant. Neither did but Martino got it so well. Martino looked up now with an even sadder look in his eyes with his shoulder sulked.

“Elia…” Martino started softly. He was probably feeling sorry for Elia, sorry that Elia was still living under that guilt. This didn’t exactly resonate well with Elia. He wanted to yell and tell Martino to not feel sorry for him. “It’s not the same thing.” Martino added.

God, Elia didn’t even think it was possible for him to get angrier at Martino. It was Martino after all. After the last sentence though he was exploding with fury.

“It’s EXACTLY the same thing.” Elia said getting louder at ‘exactly’. Eva touched his arm to get him to quiet down. “You knew what happened when I told my mother, you knew how much that ate me up and destroyed everything and hurt everyone and you did it anyway.” he added holding Martino under his gaze.

“So, this is about you comparing me to yourself and not about Gio?” Martino said scoffing a little and looking less sad.

Here he was being angrier, again. How dare Martino thought this was only about Elia? It was, it was about him. He was just so disappointed in Martino repeating his mistakes that they turned into anger which combined with anger Elia had for himself. But he also cared about Gio. Martino’s father left them around that time so Gio gave all his energy to Martino because he was Gio. Elia was the one to drag Gio outside, was the one to pick up the pieces. He knew for a fact that things would be different if the whole school wasn’t talking about that.

Eva and Nicco were watching them like they were watching a tennis match.

“Seriously?” Elia asked with a scoff on his own. “Fuck, Martino, you didn’t even tell it directly to Gio. Do you know what it did to him to have everybody talk about Eva and Fede all around the school?”

With this he probably not only hurt Martino but hurt Eva too, reminding her of what she did to Gio. Elia cursed to himself for it. He had just gained her as a close friend. He looked at Eva with the corner of his eye and saw that she was looking down on her lap. Fuck. 

He then looked at Martino who with another guilt tripping from Elia had lost all his talking back power once again. Talk about Elia making everybody feel bad. Whatever, Martino deserved to feel bad, Elia thought.

“I-I only did it-“ Martino started to explain himself quietly but Elia had enough.

“I don’t care why you did it. You FUCKED up.” Elia cut in angrily. “And you hurt THE ONE person who would never hurt you.” Elia said couldn’t help but getting louder at some words.

Elia kept thinking about how when Martino snapped at that party and even when he mentioned Eva and Canegallo, Gio was silent. It was Elia who got angry, who spoke back. Right now, he was essentially doing the same : grilling Martino for Gio. 

“I KNOW!” Martino said yelling back. And that finally got them some attention. 

Nicco immediately held his boyfriend's hand and tried to calm him down while glancing badly at Elia at times. After all, Elia just made his boyfriend sad. Another friend lost, Elia thought. He glanced a little at Martino and realized how bad he actually looked. Underneath all his anger Elia couldn't help but feel sad too; no matter what it freaking Martino in front of him. Elia turned to look at Eva who was already watching him. She put a hand on his shoulder clearly trying to support him despite Elia making Martino feel that bad. It looked like she wanted say something but a second later she sprinted up and walked to Gio who was already halfway next to them. 

Fuck, Elia thought. So, Gio heard. It was going to be hard to lie out of this. Maybe he was being a little selfish but if Elia stayed a little longer he might have said worse thing or he might have told Gio all about it. He got up too, again making too much noise while pushing his chair back and grabbing his backpack.

“Marti..." Elia said sighing in the end. "...It’s not gonna be me. You have to talk to him.” Elia said quietly but still angrily looking only at Martino who stared at him without being able to say anything. 

He walked in a rushing way right past Gio and Eva, giving Gio a pat on the shoulder. He didn’t say anything, he couldn't. Gio called after him but Elia didn’t turn around. 

What a day, he thought as he stepped on to the street. He burned some bridges with Martino, and probably with Nicco too, he hurt Eva by bringing up old stuff and he left a very confused Gio behind hoping somebody would make something up.

For the past week his old mistakes, his old wounds had been catching up with him and it wasn’t good. A part of him felt terrible because maybe this was worst way to approach this situation because it meant tomorrow nothing would be the same with contrabbandieri. How did he manage to fuck things up with his friends while on his mission to protect them from everything?

* * *

**Giovedi 21:51 - Protect. Always.**

Today, at school, was hard. He spent the day avoiding Martino and it only semi-worked because they were in the same class. Honestly, he was surprised at how Martino last year and then Gio a few months ago managed to avoid them for so long. Anyway, Elia himself didn’t talk to Martino whole day. When they were forcedly together they didn’t even look at each other. It looked like Martino was as hurt by him as Elia was mad at Martino. At a second that they were alone Eva took him to the side and asked how he was. Elia really thought she was going to be cold with him too considering he hurt her too and he hurt one of her best friends. So it was nice that she checked up on him.

As for Gio, he was fed with a bullshit story of Elia and Martino arguing over what to do with the assholes messing with Luca. Elia, had to give it up for Eva because it was the perfect lie. If they told Gio something about Elia and Martino arguing over some trivial shit, he would’ve never believed them. Since this was the topic of the argument Luca was being kept out of it. So, the lie really was a win.

Right now, Elia was out on another date night with Filippo which felt like a breath of fresh air after all the drama that took over his life. They had dinner at the new sushi place Filippo found. It was really better than the one hijacked by Luca and Silvia. It was a smaller place with less people so they could chat more easily. Also, because it was small it felt more intimate so it called for more hand holdings and more little kisses. It was a dimly lit place with little tables so for the whole dinner their legs were touching underneath. It distracted Elia a lot by sending shivers down his spine but he managed to course through the dinner. 

Once their meal was finished they payed up, splitting it. Then, they were out onto the lively streets of Rome. As soon as they stepped out of the restaurant Filo grabbed his hand flashed him a big smirk. Elia responded with an equally big smirk. Elia took Filo’s hand and threw Filo’s arm around his shoulder. Elia was still holding Filo’s hand with his arm diagonally on his own chest. They kept walking like that for a while as Elia felt he was able to breath a little easier with every step. Filo had this miraculous energy that Elia couldn’t even describe. He managed to make Elia relax and get flustered at the same time while Elia was also beaming from happiness. Up until now, he didn’t know he could beam this much. 

“How was your club thing today?” Elia asked as they walked.

“By club thing do you mean the LGBTQ association?” Filo asked with a small laugh. Elia could feel him roll his eyes without even looking.

“You know what I meant.” Elia replied with a smile.

“Yeah it was great. We did a little workshop about different definitions. You’d be surprised at how many people don’t know the difference between sex, gender and sexuality.” Filo replied.

Yeah, well Elia knew the difference between sex and sexuality but not the one between sex and gender. Wait, Irened might have told him about sex and gender. He knew the first difference because after Martino came out to them he made some research which eventually led to him to figure his sexuality might no be what he thought of. Meaning he wasn’t straight but he was bisexual. Of course, Elia wasn’t going to show his ignorance to his knowledgeable, university aged boyfriend.

“Yeah, yeah.” Elia replied chuckling uncomfortably. 

“Elia, you can come to the meetings too. If you want?” Filo suggested while squeezing Elia’s hand.

“Sure.” Elia replied with a big smile.

Elia was thinking that he needed to get more educated, maybe buy some books or something. So, going to the association might be the thing where he learned something about the community he was in or just more in general. Maybe he was approaching his sexuality, the fact that he was a bisexual man too casually. Maybe he needed to get involved with stuff.

They kept on walking and walking like that. There were many people passing by them and Elia was giving each of them looks, trying to see if they were staring at him and Filippo. After Tuesday, he needed to be on high alert. If he was a bad friend, if he couldn’t protect Martino from his own anger, if he couldn’t protect Gio from the hurt that was coming, if he couldn’t protect Luca from bullies, if he couldn’t protect Anna from his father’s betrayal then at least he could protect Filo from strangers. Like Uncle Dario said ‘protect, always’.

Elia was busy observing the people passing by when Filo suddenly let go of his hand. Elia stopped and turned to see what Filippo was doing. He was reaching in his backpack and he pulled out his beloved digital camera. Elia immediately smiled at the sight. Filo had so many things he was passionate about and that encouraged Elia too. Also, Filo loved taking his pictures. It meant a lot of things; from Filo wanting to capture their happy moments to Filo just wanting to keep pictures of Elia. Every single meaning made Elia’s heart flutter and his cheeks to get warm. Sappy Elia was back.

He knew this drill too. While Filippo did some light settings Elia walked a few steps away, stood in front of Filo and got in a pose. Elia put his hand’s in his coats pockets and raised his shoulders a little while putting on a neutral face, to look cool. A second later Filippo as capturing that. Elia changed a couple of poses still keeping the neutral expression; being cool was important. Filippo captured those too and even on the darkened street Elia could see him bite his lip.

Elia was about to change his pose and opt for a more smiley one when his phone rang. He took it out of his pocket and looked at the screen. It was Gio. Elia sighed and pinched his nose. He really didn’t want to interrupt this happy moment, his date with Filo but if he didn’t pick up, at this hour, Gio would suspect something. They didn’t really talk about yesterday at the school so he was probably calling to question that. Elia looked up at Filo and gave him a little smile pointing at his phone. He picked it up and took a couple of steps, getting away from Filo. He didn’t want Filo to get sucked into this mess.

“Hi.” Elia opened the call with a sigh looking down at his feet.

“Hi, Santini.” Gio said already in a serious tone. 

“Look, Gio if this is about yesterday-“ Elia said cutting to the chase. After all, his amazing boyfriend was waiting for him but Gio cut in.

“Of course this is about yesterday. One, what did you think getting into a fight at a cafe, specifically the one I work in?” Gio asked and Elia realized he hadn’t thought about that. “Two, I thought we agreed on not getting involved with Luca.”

Elia sighed once again and looked up at the cars driving on the road:

“Sorry about the first one. Really. I wasn’t thinking.” Elia said sincerely. “And about the second part you agreed on that. Not me.” Elia said. Well, that might not be the reason he argued with Martino at the cafe but even with his promise to Luca, Elia was uncertain about how to deal with that.

“Elia.” Gio said warningly. “Luca told me you promised him.” He added in his serious tone.

Yeah and Elia didn’t like to think of the possibility of breaking that promise but still. Protecting, always. 

Before answering to Gio he looked around to check up on Filo, to see what he was doing. That’s when he saw a couple of guys walking right to Filo. He didn’t want to think what he was thinking but Elia couldn’t help it. It was three guys that looked like all the assholes he knew. Filo had just dyed his hair pink again this week and he had his earrings on and his nose ring and his lip ring. It was just Elia’s mind was making crazy connections. He finally came to a decision when those three guys stood in front of Filo and started laughing, throwing their arms up and pointing at Filo. While Filo just stood there shrugging and looking up.

Gio was calling his name at the other end of the phone. Elia said:

“I’ll call you later.” Before hanging up the phone abruptly.

He then, quickly closed the few steps of distance between them. Filo turned his head to him the moment Elia appeared, literally, next to him. Filippo opened his mouth to say something and he was about to throw his arm around Elia but Elia didn’t give him the chance. He stepped in between Filo and the boys.

“What do you want?” He said looking at the faces of the three boys. 

The boys looked weirdly taken aback. They looked in between them and then back to Filippo. 

“I am talking to you!” Elia said angrily taking another step toward them. 

The fact that they weren’t answering, the fact that were doing nothing either to defend themselves or bite back got Elia even angrier. In his mind, it meant that they were doing something bad, something to mess with Filippo. Not on Elia’s watch, not his boyfriend. 

“I think we’ll see you later Filippo.” The one in the middle said sending judging looks at Elia. 

The others nodded too giving the same judging looks at Elia, kind of trying to weigh this crazy person up. Then they looked at Filippo and each of them gave him a nod as in bye. 

That’s when Elia realized how massively he fucked up. He had just completely misread the situation. God, he wanted to smack himself on the had and say ‘great job jumping on conclusions dumbass’. This proved that he wasn’t good at observing. How did he manage to make them out to be homophobes who were making fun of Filo? Stupid.

Once the boys disappeared into the distance Filo turned to him with a shocked look on his face:

“What the hell was that?” Filo asked looking up and down on Elia.

Elia groaned at himself. There was no way he could have gotten out of this as right. 

“I thought they were laughing at you.” Elia said looking over Filippo’s shoulder, avoiding his eyes.

“Well, you thought wrong. I take lessons with them, we were fucking joking around.” Filo said exasperatedly. 

Knowing there was no way he could have gotten out of this as right, Elia chose the defensive.

“How could I know? They were laughing and you were sulking.” He said shrugging and still avoiding Filo’s eyes.

“You could have waited to see what we were talking about.” Filo said scoffing as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

Elia continued with his defensive mood knowing damn well he was going to regret it.

“It doesn’t hurt to be careful.” Elia replied with another shrug. 

This wasn’t being defensive just for the sake of being defensive. He actually thought so. Better cause some weirdness between Filippo and his friends than to do nothing and regret it after. Protect. Always.

“It doesn’t.” Filippo said angrily nodding. “But it hurts to fucking overreact.” He added.

This argument Elia knew, was pointless. It could have been over and they could have gone to their sweet date if only Elia admitted that he overreacted. If only. That was the keyword. The problem was that Tuesday also proved that their thoughts completely differed on this subject, on how they would act around the world.

“I only did what was necessary if those guys were the bad ones.” Elia replied now finally looking at Filippo, in a defying manner.

“Elia it doesn’t work like that. You cannot think every stranger is out to get you.” Filo said and Elia rolled his eyes. “And with the ones that are coming at you it’s better to walk away. I thought we established that.” he added with a scowl.

“You established that.” Elia answered with a scoff. “I am not going to walk away if somebody comes at my boyfriend, if somebody comes at you. I am here to protect you that’s what a good man does.”

God, he couldn’t believe in his 18 years of life he just quoted Uncle Dario outloud. 

Filo sighed and looked at him for a second. It looked like he was weighing what he wanted to say, what he wanted to continue the argument with. Elia stood tall and kept looking Filo right in the eye, trying to show that he was ready to argue till the morning. He thought somebody needed to win in an argument in a relationship. That’s what his parents were like even before the divorce.

“Fine Elia, good luck being a good man..." Filo said making air quotes around 'good man'. "...and punching everyone that even looks at your way.” he continued shaking his head tiredly with a sigh. “And good luck to me explaining to my friends that you are not a psychopath.” he finished giving out another breath in the end.

Only then Elia saw how his reaction looked like from an outside perspective. Whatever. It didn’t hurt to be careful. You could have never been too careful. After all he didn’t think his father could hurt his mother, he didn’t think Luca was getting bullied and…he didn’t think Martino would be called the f word at a random party.

Filo took a step back and turned around swiftly. Elia hadn't even realized that the argument was over. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like seeing Filo walk away. It hurt something inside him so much. It was like somebody was pulling all his heart muscles to different directions and he was about to snap inside. After making up last week, Elia didn’t think one of them would walk away again, not this quickly.

“Filo.” Elia tried to call after him but Filippo didn’t turn around. 

Now, Elia was all alone in the dark street. 

Why did nobody allowed Elia to protect them? All he wanted was to keep them safe and suddenly everybody was acting like he was insane for wanting to do that. Even his boyfriend who was supposed to feel the safest around him and Elia the safest around Filippo. 

Why couldn’t he do anything right?

* * *

**Venerdi 12:15 - The Worst Man**

Elia was a fucking mess. He was still ignoring his father’s calls. The fact that his father was cheating on Anna was still eating him up. He was still not talking to Martino and today following Elia's guilt tripping, Martino was looking even worse. Fuck. He literally was the worst friend; he broke one while trying to back up the other. Gio questioned him about why he abruptly hanged up last night and Elia gave evasive answers. Filo wasn’t answering his calls or his texts. Elia couldn’t help but wonder if they had come to the point of no return. What if Filo didn’t forgive him? He couldn’t take that. He had drama in every department of his life now : family, friend, boyfriend. Basically, it was just shit piling on top of each other.

He got so little sleep last night thinking about Filo in the bed. It was that he had his mother, his father, his cousins, his uncles and aunts, the boys, everybody be mad at him before but he never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend be mad at him. It was a different kind of desperation of just waiting for an answer. He didn't know how to act around this, how to apologize, how to make things right. He just wanted Filo next to him. The fact that they had just recovered from an argument was making Elia more nervous. 

In the morning when he was dressing he wished there was a sweatshirt, a shirt, a t-shirt just anything of Filo’s in his room so that he could wear it today. Maybe he would be able to feel Filo a little and that would bring some comfort. 

The bell rang and Elia threw himself out of the classroom not wanting to be pulled into a conversation with Martino and Gio and Eva. He couldn’t take those ball of lies, not right now. Not on top of all the messes he created or all the messes he was a part of. Still, Eva tried to catch up to him.

"Elia!" Eva called his name but he got away quickly.

He walked into the corridor making his way to Luca’s classroom. Maybe he could have cheered him up considering that was like Luca’s superpower. Elia was walking slowly now that he was out of the classroom. He was just at the start of the corridor when he spotted Luca by the window. Luca was standing there with Silvia, animatedly telling something. Even looking at his best friend’s excitement was enough for Elia to a breath in a little.

He was about to take another step when he realized that Silvia wasn’t really paying attention to Luca. His eyes shifted to her and saw Roberto Antonelli and Arturo Dentino. Those assholes. Elia clenched his fists and breathed in and out while people passed by him in the corridor. Silvia looked somewhat angry and tired trying to send them away while Luca clearly tried not to give them any attention.

As for the assholes, they were laughing and copying exactly what Luca was doing with exaggerated movements. That was textbook bullying. Looks like they took it out of the classroom, Elia thought. He kept on breathing in and out, trying to keep his cool. Luca gave up and now as a new tactic, the one Martino gave a week ago, tried joining in their laughter too. The assholes though, just kept on doing the same thing. Elia wanted to end the but he had a promise. Antonelli stepped in between Luca and Silvia and now he was messing with Luca up close.

And that’s when something snapped in Elia’s mind. 

He was so furious with his father but he didn’t know what to do. Yelling at him about old stuff all day wasn’t going to solve anything, it wasn’t going to stop Anna’s heart from getting broken too. He was mad at Martino. Even after letting it out he was still mad. But he also felt sorry for making Martino feel so bad, he must have been already feeling guilty. He was mad at the world for constantly coming at him leaving Elia with not knowing what to do, how to not overreact. He was mad those stangers for staring at them on Tuesday more now because it made Elia start to question everyone’s intentions.

Mostly, he was mad at himself. Martino was right about that. He couldn’t protect his mother’s heart years ago. He was mad that he couldn’t see that coming again and couldn’t stop his father before he hurt somebody else. He couldn’t protect Anna. He couldn’t protect Martino from his sharp words. He couldn’t protect Gio from the inevitable hurt that was coming. He couldn’t protect Filo from the outside world; he couldn’t protect the one relationship he was working so much for, the one relationship he putting all his heart on the table for, from his stupid self. 

Filo wanted him to not punch anyone but honestly what else could he do at this point? He had one job, one role. He only wanted to be a good man and protect his loved ones. That meant doing something, anything. Filo was wrong, he needed to punch everybody that looked at his way. That was what a good man did. He wasn’t going to let one more person get hurt too. Not especially his best friend. Not Luca who did nothing wrong to anyone, who always tried to help (the keyword being trying), who was constantly there for Elia. To damn with his promise. Protect. Always.

So, with all these thoughts dancing in his mind Elia suddenly marched off. In an instant, he was next to Luca. Before anybody could say anything, before anybody could even look properly at him he grabbed Antonelli by the shoulders and threw him to the ground. He felt everyone in the corridor stop with this move. Everyone. 

The next thing he knew, he was on top of Antonelli throwing punches and receiving some punches in return too. He was screaming in his mind, “How dare you mess with my best friend, my family?”. He was punching Antonelli for Luca, of course for Luca. But in between punches he also became a symbol of the messes in his life. 

A few times somebody tried to break up the fight, somebody tried to pull him up. He was guessing one time it was Luca and another time it was Dentino. None of them succeeded. 

They were both a few punches in when finally somebody, Elia didn’t know who at first, grabbed him, basically yanked him up from the ground. Then, that somebody threw Elia a few steps away. He was breathing heavily, still feeling the adrenaline and the iron taste coming from his probably bloody lip. After a few seconds he managed to make out the person that pulled him up. It was Giovanni. Of course. Gio was standing in between Elia and Antonelli, looking at Elia as if Elia had lost his mind. 

Elia’s mind was cluttered, he couldn’t think clearly. He tried to take another shot at attacking Antonelli but he had only taken a few steps when Gio stopped him, pushing him away again. 

“ELIA!” Gio shouted.

Now, Gio looked like he was sure that Elia had lost his mind. Gio was breathing as heavily as he was with his blue eyes wide open from shock. Fuck.

That was when Elia started to take in the atmosphere. The corridor was cleared up in the middle with other students clustered in each end watching the fight. A couple of steps behind Gio, Antonelli was standing with a blood trickling from his eyebrow and a bruise forming under his eye. He looked furiously at Elia and he was held back by Dentino. Luca and Silvia were still next to the window looking at Elia with the same shocked expression as Gio. Luca also looked so heartbroken, his shoulders were down and he was looking at Elia with tears brimming in his eyes. Fuck. Silvia was standing behind Luca, almost looking scared. Fuck.

He slowly turned his head back while trying to calm his breaths down and saw Martino watching the scene with other students. Martino looked like a combination of Luca and Silvia; he was sad and scared at the same time. Fuck. Eva was next to him looking in between Gio and Elia and everybody else worriedly shaking in her place. Fuck. Eleonora emerged from behind her and threw her arm around Eva.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Elia’s mind went crazy saying fuck. What the hell did he just do? He had fucked up better and bigger than before. He looked back at Luca and they shared a tiny stare. The one person he was trying protect was on the verge of fucking tears. Gio looked so disappointed in him. His every other friend looked so scared of him.

The people he was trying to protect were scared of him. Scared of him. It was very hard to stomach that thought for Elia. He felt like the worst man ever. The worst man. What kind of a good man had his loved ones scared of him? He was mad at himself a million times more. Turned out, not always protect. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!
> 
> If anyone's interested Elia and Filo watched "8½" by Federico Fellini. I totally recommend that movie, it's amazing, it's pure cinema. And don't worry Elia, I didn't actually get it while watching it either.
> 
> So writing this chapter was a lot... I somehow got so nervous while writing the final fight scene. I guess while reading the chapter it might have been clear that Elia was going to do something about those guys and he did.
> 
> The thing is Elia mostly knows when he is doing something bad or acting wrongly but he can't help it. He has a short temper but it is only reserved for causes he thinks are good.
> 
> As I have built up Elia wants to be this protective person for people in his life. His Uncle's words here and all the things he goes through only builds up that desire. But like for the homophobes case, Filo is more experienced as a gay man in the real world. He knows when he is going out to the world as himself he is taking the risk but it doesn't mean he will give time to fascists. He has learned that. Elia has a long way to go and we'll see him go that way.
> 
> We'll see him learn what it is actually to be a good man or better put a good person. I could explain this chapter a lot and a lot more but I want to hear your thoughts! What do you think about how I built this chapter up? What do you think about Elia's and other's characters? What do you think about the tension?
> 
> And what do you think will happen next?
> 
> Please tell me what you think!
> 
> and come talk to me on tumblr : @youleavebehindmemories


	6. Episode 6 : A Good Person

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, people!
> 
> First of, I am really sorry that this chapter is almost a week late. Things have been hectic at university and at home and at my country. Between everything I really couldn't sit down and focus on writing. But even with the delay I am really proud of how this chapter turned out. It has some of my favourite clips I wrote.
> 
> We are seeing Elia talk with a lot of people and work on his issues here! I realized I am mostly writing one-on-one scenes with Elia and other characters because I love exploring these personal connections.
> 
> Anyway, here you go! Hope you like it!

**Sabato 11:30 - We Need You**

Elia was a mess. He had been ignoring every call and every text since yesterday. At some point in the evening he turned off his phone not wanting to even see the screen light up with notifications. After seeing his friends’ faces like that, all disappointed and all scared Elia couldn’t face them. He didn’t know how to make them forget about what they saw. He didn’t think there was any way they could forget it.

Elia had one question in his mind : if nobody saw him like that, throwing one punch after the other in the middle of the school corridor, would he be feeling this bad? It was not like he changed his mind; he was still thinking he did the right thing. Maybe he could have done something else to interfere other than something that wouldn't get him into trouble and he surely was sad that he broke his promise to Luca. Despite all of these, Elia still thought if he wanted to be a good man he needed to do something and he at least did something.

A part of him was really glad that Gio stopped him in that moment, before he took it even more far-not that he would say this right now.

The school obviously called his parents and told them about what happened and asked them to come to school on Monday. So, that was going to be a ride. Even his father was going to come which made things worse because well, Elia was still ignoring his calls. Elia somehow, considering him getting in a fight and all, managed to convince his mother to not let him go to his father’s but instead stay at his mother’s. But he was grounded. Of course.

Elia was lying on his bed, holding his closed phone. With a sigh, he threw his head back hitting it slightly to the back of the bad. With a whim he turned his phone back on and waited till the new messages dropped. There were two new texts from Gio asking him to just text back, a missed call from his father, a message asking if Elia wanted to talk from Nicco, and some messages from the contrabbandieri group text. He then, scrolled through all the unanswered messages from yesterday. Martino had sent, “I know you are mad at me. But are you okay?”, Eva and Silvia had sent individual texts as well as Eleonora and Sana and Federica which surprised Elia but it was nice. There were also a few messages from the girls and the boys’ combined group text. Maybe they weren’t that afraid of me, Elia thought.

There were still no messages from Luca and that was the worst. Elia would have taken any message from anyone, any angry message from Luca to no message from Luca everyday.. And still, no messages from Filo. Last night, before turning off his phone he tried texting Filippo again. He typed in and deleted, typed in and deleted. Finally, he only sent a message that said, “Can we talk?” and it was still unread. Just as Elia was sighing again, his mother knocked and opened the door. She took a look at Elia on the bed.

“You are still grounded but turns out I can’t stop you from having visitors.” She said with a sweet smile.

Elia didn’t he could deal with any of his friends right now and there was no chance the visitor was Filo. 

“Mom…” Elia said sitting up on the bed. “…just tell I am not home.” 

“Too late for that.” Carina said and turned around while Gio walked in. Elia saw his mother Gio a smile and Gio smiled back. Gio was really like that kid that every parent loved.

Gio stood in the middle of the room, in front of the bed and stared at Elia. Elia stared back too before dropping down on the bed with a sigh. A minute later Gio had pulled Elia’s chair in front of the bed while Elia still lied down. 

“Gio, can we not do this right now?” Elia said sitting back up.

“I already gave you a day.” Gio said raising his eyebrows.

So, there was no getting out of this. It was so fitting that it was Gio that came to see him first. Luca was probably too hurt or too mad at him to come here. Martino probably thought Elia would get even more mad at him. Nicco probably didn’t know how to approach Elia right now. But Gio was Gio.

When Elia didn’t answer for some time, Gio started talk:

“What was that? What were you thinking?” Gio said leaning forward.

“I was protecting Luca and I was doing what we always do.” Elia said shrugging and almost sounding offended by this question.

“We don’t do that Elia. We don’t throw the first punch.” Gio said shaking his head with a scowl.

“Since when?” Elia shot back sharply. Elia didn’t know if he meant the time when Martino pushed him away first or the time Gio pushed Canegallo in the corridor. But Gio seemed to get one of them or maybe another memory popped in his head because he sat there silently shaking his head.

A few seconds later Gio sighed and turned his wide open eyes to Elia:

“Elia what’s going on? Clearly there is something bigger here.” Gio said pointing at Elia with his hands. “Did you have a falling out with someone?” He asked way more carefully than Elia would have expected. “Is this like how Martino exploded, you know after being heartbroken?” He finished raising his eyebrows and opening his eyes.

Gio was trying to say something else but Elia had no idea what the fuck was that. It was normal that Gio thought something else was going because they have been through that before. Also, if he said his argument with Filo on Thursday night didn't add onto him losing his calm it would be a lie. But it wasn’t just that, it was a lot of things. Mostly, it was him feeling not good enough of a friend, enough of a man.

“No, it’s nothing like that.” Elia answered again sounding offended. It was a lie because Elia exploding, was half like what happened with Martino and half other things, other dramas and messes in his life. “It’s just me trying to protect Luca. And don’t confuse me with yourself too. Remember when you too exploded after years and years?” Elia clicking his jaw and raising his right eyebrow. 

Martino’s whole drama happened like a year ago but Gio’s was still so fresh and he was still dealing with some things and still living through the consequences. Elia regretted it after saying that. Gio looked away for a second and nodded to himself before looking back at Elia.

“That’s why I told you not be like me Elia. To talk to me, to talk to us if something was going on.” Gio said softly.

Elia groaned and threw his hands up:

“God, i’s so TIRING to be your friend sometimes.” He said loudly. Gio was looking at him with a scowl as if saying ‘what the hell did I do?’. “I just threw one of the worst times of your life to YOUR FACE and you are still trying to help ME.” he continued while pointing at Gio in a blaming way.

And that was maybe the root to this problem of Elia looking for a role. Because Gio was the fucking best friend that ever existed on this earth. Gio did it all and Gio did everything right which made Elia feel so useless. In hindsight, that was another reason Elia snapped so hard on Martino the other day because it wasn’t Elia that he double crossed it was Gio, the perfect friend. So, Elia needed to do something to feel like he was needed.

“Yeah, that’s what I came here for shit head. To help you.” Gio said with a small chuckle and that only got more to Elia.

“This is what I am talking about.” Elia said getting up from the bed and starting to pace. “You never get mad. Never. You are still going through tons of shit and you are here trying your best to comfort me. You never miss any signs from us when were are not okay even when you are not okay yourself. A-and Luca always makes us laugh with one move, with one dumb joke. Marti-Martino no matter how stupid he is, he is the one keeping us from accidentally killing ourselves. And what am I? I try to protect all of you and I fail.”

“Seriously? Is this what it’s about? You are Elia- 

“Gio-

“No. No.” Gio cut him back shaking his hands in front of him. "If it wasn’t for you I would have gone crazy last year trying to figure Marti out. If it wasn’t you giving me a place to crash I would have gone crazy at that house right now. Do you think I don’t know you are the one leaving all that money in my bag? You know what happened with that money? I bought Marco the birthday present he’s been asking, the one my fat-, the one they would never get for him.” Gio said still sitting down but he had his firm but soft voice, the one that made Elia believe him. "You don’t need to be something bigger. You are Elia and I need you. And Luca idolizes you. And do you know what your opinion about him means to Marti and how much Nicco trusts you? We need you.” Gio concluded his long monologue emphasizing the ‘need’ parts using his hands too.

“Gio I just…” Elia started but he trailed off not knowing what to say. He believed Gio. How could he not? He knew Gio’s lying tone so just then he knew Gio was so sincere, so serious. Turned out it was just some words from his best friend that Elia needed to feel like he was enough, to feel like he was a good friend and even a good man.

Gio got up from the chair and put a hand on Elia’s shoulder, squeezing it tight. He then grabbed Elia’s neck and forced Elia to look at him.

"I never got mad at Marti. I gave him all the time in the world yet it took you two fighting for him to come to me. Not getting mad, holding back the harsh stuff isn’t always the best move. You say the things I don’t have the guts to say. You indulge Luca’s weirdness in a way I never can. Remember the fight? I was too busy worrying about all our bruises and you were the one to plan what we were going to say to the police.” He said with a little shrug. "You don’t need to prove yourself to us. We wouldn’t be the contrabbandieri without you.” He added with soft eyes.

And now, Gio was praising the qualities Elia thought was his worst parts. The parts he found not worthy of a good friend was the parts Gio thought were. Not only that but Elia also covered everything Gio was missing. Maybe, he had a role with them. After all, they needed him, the contrabbandieri needed him. 

Elia threw his arms around Gio’s and hugged him tight. Gio hugged hi back, giving Elia pats. While they were still hugging Elia said a quite, “Thank you.” more into Gio’s ear. He didn’t know what was the appropriate response to the monologue Gio gave him so this was the only thing that came out of his mouth. 

They broke apart the hug a few seconds later. Gio still gave him another squeeze on the shoulder before Elia dropped right back on the bed.

“I didn’t know I was helping you that much. Hope Marco liked his present.” Elia said gaining his voice back as he smiled.

“He did.” Gio said sitting down next to Elia. “I said it was also from you.”

Elia was an only child but ever since he knew Gio it also felt like Marco was his little brother too. He would have love to feel the same way about his younger cousins Pietro, Val and Leo if they weren’t so weird and distant with him. Anyway, he was glad he was also helping his honorary little brother; it was nice to be needed like that too. A moment passed as both of them smiled, sitting next to each other.

Suddenly, Gio hit him on the head and said:

“Now, I can smack you for getting into trouble.”

“Just as I was wondering where was your mom-ness.” Elia replied with a laugh.

Gio smacked him on the neck this time and they laughed. It felt nice, Elia felt more like he belonged now. When finally their laugh died down Gio spoke up again

“If there’s anything else going on?” Gio asked carefully making a half sentence sound like a question. Elia knew this was the Gio that waited for Martino to talk to him.

“There is…” Elia started and he could already feel Gio’s eyes widen with worry without looking at his best friend. “…but I am talking about those with other people. So it’s fine.” Elia says turning his head to Gio to see him nod slowly.

He wanted to tell Gio everything about Filo and his father and every other insecurity he had but he didn’t. Gio had already helped a ton. Elia already had so much role in contrabbandieri’s life, he just didn’t realize it until Gio told them to him. In a way, the things he did counted for being protective too. By letting Gio crash at his home whenever, he was protecting Gio from that house.

“That’s good.” Gio said with a smile giving another pat on the back.

They would have probably kept on talking and maybe Gio would have reassured him more but Gio’s phone rang. Gio got it out of his jean’s pocket and looked down at the caller ID. It was Eva. Gio sighed and declined the call. 

“You can talk to her.” Elia said so obliviously not picking up the clues.

Gio shook his curls and looked down:

“We were supposed to have dinner with her parents tonight and she cancelled it. It feels like we are back to square one.” He said quietly.

Oh, fuck. Elia knew just why Eva cancelled the dinner, why she was trying to take it slow. She was probably feeling like they were doomed to fail especially after Elia’s outburst to Martino. Elia opened his mouth to say something to comfort Gio and nudge the two together but Gio jumped up.

“But I still have to go.” Gio said with an apologetic smile. Elia gave him a confused look from the bed, asking where he was headed with his eyes using their telepathic bond. “Ele’s lawyer asked her to come for something. She didn’t want to go alone.” Gio explained.

Elia sighed. When was their group going to take a break and live a little more carelessly and indifferently like many other teenagers. Wait…his mind worked suddenly. Why wasn’t Filo going with her? Even though, Filo didn’t tell Elia much about Eleonora or her trial they were siblings and Elia knew Filo cared a lot. But he didn’t know how to outright ask Gio about Filo. Thankfully, their telepathic bond came into his aid.

“Edo is still in Milano.” Gio said and paused. A soft smiled appeared on his face and his voice changed back to his careful one. “Ele said, Filippo went up there too this weekend.” He added and looked at Elia’s face. Elia thought back and he realized Filo never told him about this plan if it was an old plan. That was a better theory then thinking Filo just packed and went up to Milano after their argument/fight. Elia sighed again. “I mean, you know, they are friends now Filippo probably wanted to see and catch up with Edo.” Gio supplied as an explanation for Elia.

Elia saw something in Gio’s eyes that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. And it was weird that Gio had said the last sentence but his mind was too busy thinking about why Filo went there this weekend and whether it had something to do with him. Is this how relationships end?, Elia thought. Is it that easy? Did it take one disagreement, one simple mistake (okay maybe not so simple) from Elia for things to be over.

“Keep me updated about Eleonora.” Elia said managing to snap out of his thoughts. If he was having problems with one Sava at least he could be fine with the other.

“Will do.” Gio said turning around and walking towards the room’s door.

“And talk to Eva.” Elia called after him. At least he could do one positive thing for his friend’s relationships and protect both of their feelings. See, the regular Elia was protective enough, he didn’t need to punch people, Gio’s voice echoed inside his head.

“Look who is going through tons of shit and is still worrying about me.” Gio turned around with a smirk. 

Maybe Elia wasn’t entirely like Gio and that was fine. Maybe he thought Gio was the best friend ever because Gio was the best friend ever to him but maybe Gio thought Elia was the best friend ever.

Elia grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it after Gio with a little smirk.

One problem crossed of the messes file, Elia thought. He was still theorizing about Filo, he was still scared that he had lost one of the best things in his life. Still, he felt like a part of the weight was off his shoulders and that was the best fucking feeling. Onto the next mess, Elia thought.

* * *

**Sabato 17:18 - Not Mad**

Thanks to Gio’s little visit, compared to the morning Elia was feeling better. At least he knew that he was fine with Gio and that was a relief on its own. Also, the things Gio said had been replaying in Elia’s mind the whole day. Well, he was still going to try and be a better friend than he was but at least now he knew that he was a good friend. He didn’t need to find a bigger role for himself because he already had one. He was literally completing everyone else in the contrabbandieri. And he was to an extent already a protective friend. Protectiveness, maybe didn’t only mean fighting for your friends, maybe it meant more. 

Still, weirdly what his uncle said was like a background music in his mind. He was sure of his role, of his place with the boys. But he still had the urge to be protective, in whatever sense, and preferably without making impulse decisions. This wasn’t bad on its own but it didn’t mean that Elia stopped thinking over protectiveness equaled a good man. 

Anyway, he was grateful for Gio who was the most understanding person ever, who just said everything that Elia needed to hear. Gio not ever getting mad at them was truly a bliss because Elia didn’t think he could’ve handled that. Perhaps, this was one of the reasons Martino didn’t want to tell Gio his secret. No, Elia thought. He couldn’t think about that and worry now.

He was in the kitchen preparing a lemon cheesecake because his mind and heart was also still at Filo and Filo loved cheesecake. Elia couldn’t get himself to text Filo one more time. He had already sent more than a dozen of texts since Thursday night and if he sent more Elia knew it would come across a little creepy. Now, it was the time to wait for Filo to get back at him and that was the worst part : waiting or more likely not knowing what was going to happen, whether Filo was going to break up with him just when Elia’s heart was starting to beat faster than it ever did, just when Elia was starting to feel something stronger than just like. Fuck.

His mom was sitting on the kitchen table, drinking coffee and flipping through a magazine. She wasn’t too mad about the whole fight. Well, only after she found out that it was all about Luca. She gave him a look with softening eyes, maybe a little bit proud, and a stroke on the shoulder.

Just as Elia was pouring the lemon sauce on the cake the door bell rang. Elia and his mother shared a little look. Carina, got up from her seat leaving Elia to finish off the cheesecake. Who could it be?, Elia thought. Even though he knew Filo wasn’t in Rome and even if he was he wouldn’t come to his house, a part of him hope that would be Filo. And a more realistic part of him hoped it would be Luca because the radio silence from his best friend was killing him.

Elia was about start cleaning up when his mother walked inside with Silvia following her. Elia almost dropped down the spoon from the surprise of this sight. If he was to bet on who was at the door Silvia wouldn’t be on the top of the list. Sure, she was his (and Filo’s) confidant but Elia didn’t guess she would be the second person at his door that day.

“Hi.” Silvia said in a little voice and a little smile. 

Elia was still too surprised to answer.

“Good thing you are grounded, right Elia?” Carina said with a smirk- a smirk just like Elia’s, proving their genetic connection.

Silvia turned to his mother and smiled. Elia shook his head as if he was coming out of a trans. 

“Hi, hi Silvia.” He barely said.

“Oh, you are Luca’s Silvia?” Carina asked leaning to the door sill.

“Yeah, that’s me.” Silvia said with a shrug and a bigger smile now. 

And now Elia had a small smile too because how happy Silvia seemed to look upon the mention of Luca’s name. 

“I am in the living room.” Carina said picking up her coffee and magazine from the table and sending a look at Elia’s way.

After his mom left, Elia and Silvia stood in silence for a while. Silvia was mostly looking down or around acting like the kitchen was so interesting. Elia was thinking that she came in behalf of Luca because he couldn’t face Elia yet. And that fucking hurt.

“I am here to thank you.” Silvia said finally pulling down on her sleeves. 

Elia didn’t expect her to start with that especially after seeing her literally hide behind Luca upon the sight of Elia throwing punch after the other. 

“So, you are not scared or mad?” Elia asked hesitantly leaning against the counter.

“I am not scared or mad. I just wasn’t expecting that.” She said with a small smile. “Fighting isn’t cool but it was nice that you were there to protect Luca. Really nice.” She added softly. 

She probably wanted to do a similar thing herself but didn’t know what to do. What Silvia said was so simple but it just summarized everything that Elia needed to realize, ‘fighting isn’t cool but it’s nice to protect.’ So, Elia just needed to find different ways to protect his loved ones.

Elia only nodded and smiled in return, thinking a thanks wasn’t the appropriate response here. 

“What about Luca?” Elia asked softly trying to brace himself for a bad answer. He couldn’t.

Silvia sighed quietly and looked down before looking back up shaking her loose, yellow hair. 

“It’s complicated.” Silvia said first and Elia looked away. “He is like mad but not mad. Mostly, he is sad that you broke your promise.” she added with a broken smile.

Elia gave out a deep breath and looked over Silvia’s shoulder, out of the room. Fuck, really. He was leaving broken hearts all over Rome; one for his boyfriend and one for his best friend. Elia knew Luca for relatively a short time, like Eva said Elia knew her longer than he knew Luca but in that short amount of time Luca became one his best friends. Underneath, all his dorkiness and stupidness Luca whether big or small never once broke a promise to Elia. Elia did, he broke a real big promise. Elia knew Luca so he knew how much Luca didn’t want him to get involved. Even if he didn’t know Luca, Luca himself said that he didn’t want the boys to get involved. Take a fucking hint Elia, he thought to himself.

“Yeah, I fucked up.” Elia said rubbing his forehead. “And it’s the worst he hasn’t called me, texted me.” he added still not looking directly at Silvia.

He just wished Luca would come at his door to yell at him for breaking the promise, yell at him for getting involved, that he would just do something, punish Elia somehow. He could take that but just like Filo’s silence and not replying Luca’s was killing him too because he didn’t know how Luca would forgive this.

“He knows Giovanni came to you in the morning, he is just waiting before he reaches out. That’s what he said to me. Luca isn’t going to stay mad at you forever. He couldn’t.” Silvia said with a smile appearing on her face.

“Thanks.” Elia said nodding again.

At least that was some silver lining, that Luca couldn’t stay mad at them forever. At least after waiting for him to be fine to talk Elia would get his best friend back. He wouldn’t lose Luca over this. 

“And, don’t be mad-“ Silvia started saying slowly.

“I won’t, I won’t.” Elia cut in still trying to erase the fighting images from her mind.

“I told Filo that you got in a fight.” She said pursing her lips.

Suddenly, Elia felt his heart beating in his ears. It was a worser feeling that Filo knew about the fight and didn’t text him, didn’t reply. No matter where you stood in the relationship, no matter the fighting and all, if you knew something like a fight happened you would be worried, right? That’s how it was with Elia’s friends, that’s what he saw. So, if Filo actually really cared about him, he would have asked how Elia was. Elia took in a shaky breath and tightened his grip on the counter. 

“He was worried about you.” Silvia added but it still didn’t ease Elia’s heart and mind. “I told him you were fine, physically.” She finished off looking at the little cut above Elia’s eyebrow. The other guy had it way worse.

“Did he…” Elia started gulping and looking down. “…go to Milano because of me?”

Elia had asked this but he didn’t want to hear the answer. If the answer was yes, then it meant he was on his way to his first heartbreak. And it fucking hurt. The ache was even physical.

“Yes and no.” Silvia replied with the nicest tone. “Edoardo invited him and he wanted a little getaway.”

It wasn’t a full relief but at least Elia’s head wasn’t pounding anymore. The fact that Filo didn’t come up with the going away plan himself was good, right? It meant he wanted to take the opportunity and maybe just see Edoardo. Still, there were no replies though.

“Did he say something?” Elia asked quietly.

Silvia started playing with her hair and raised her chin up:

“He said ‘of course he was going to punch somebody.'” Silvia replied. 

Yeah, well, considering Thursday night that was just a Filo reponse. Elia sighed and squeezed his and rubbed his forehead. He didn’t know what to solve next. Something needed to be taken from the pile of messes and his pile of insecurities but what was going to be the next one? He was right now, easing things with Silvia but this was a little part. He had no idea what the fuck to do with Filo. With Luca, after Silvia’s words at least he was sure that they were going to be fine. But what about Filo? Friendships and relationships weren’t the same. Filo could just leave him, he could just not want to be with a douche who almost fought with his friends. Wow, Elia thought. Two days ago he believed that would make him a good man. But now, seeing as it probably destroyed one of the best things that happened to him he might have changed. 

“This doesn’t mean you two are over.” Silvia said shaking her head from side to side. “From what Filo told me, you overreacted and you guys had a disagreement. Do you know how many disagreements me and Luca have?” Silvia said with a little chuckle. “And look at us. We are still together. You just need to talk to him and explain yourself.” She suggested with a shrug.

Maybe, Elia’s unexperienced in relationships self was exaggerating things. Maybe, because Filo got updates on him from Silvia and because he needed to be by himself right now he didn’t reach out. Maybe, Elia wasn’t going to lose the man he lo-liked. Maybe. All of these maybes gave him so much hope and he felt a tiny bit lighter.

“Will it really work?” Still, Elia asked hesitantly.

“It worked the last time, right? When Filo came to you.” Silvia said with a shrug and a smile.

“Yeah.” Elia said looking down with a tiny smile of his own.

It worked last time, why wouldn’t it work this time too? When Elia was mad Filo came to him, explained himself and they made up. Now that, Filo was mad, Elia needed to explain himself so that they will make up. This the way relationships went. It didn’t mean that he was going to lose his Filo and his big smile and his love for photography and the way he teased Elia and how he held Elia’s face when they were kissing and how he always interlaced their fingers and the kisses he left all over Elia’s body…

“Thank you.” Elia said looking directly at Silvia with his most sincere tone. 

Silvia closed the distance between them in the little kitchen and gave Elia a hug. He was receiving a lot of hugs lately and Elia couldn’t say he was complaining.

Elia breathed deeply with relief into the hug. He was going to be fine with Filo and he was going to be fine with Luca.

* * *

**Domenica 13:42 - Get Creative**

Elia decided to use Silvia’s advice on Luca first. Sure, he was waiting for Luca to be ready to talk but he wanted to let Luca know that too. So, he texted Luca “I am sorry about the fight. Whenever you are ready can we talk?”. He was still being respectful of Luca while also letting him know that he wanted to talk and explain himself and apologize. The waiting, the patience was a page out of Giovanni Garau’s book. 

In the morning, the text seemed to be read by Luca without any answers which bummed out Elia but at least he took a step in making things right. Now, he needed to be extra patient because Luca was the one with a broken heart and he was right to be mad at Elia. He realized that now. He could have definitely handled things better. 

Since grounding Elia didn’t actually work much because he had like two visitors in a day his mom decided to take away his computer. So, Elia was sitting in the living room looking through the channels trying to pass time. He was also trying to distract himself so that he won’t lose his patience and send a bunch of more texts to first Filo and then Luca. His mom was out running some errands and Elia was alone at the house. This didn’t help at all because his mother could have helped Elia distract himself.

Elia groaned and threw his head back on the couch. With one impulse movement he decided to reach for his phone on the coffee table but his hand stopped midway in the air because the doorbell rang. It was probably his mom who left her keys at home because it was a certainty that Elia was at home.

He got up with another groan almost hitting his knee to the side of the couch. With another groan he walked over to the door and flung it open. To his complete shock and surprise it was just the good old Luchino at the door. Elia managed to look at Luca’s face for only like three seconds before Luca took a step inside and basically crushed into Elia. Elia after getting over his initial surprise hugged him back. Look, another hug, a voice inside his head thought.

Elia didn’t know how he didn’t expect this scene. It was Luca after all, he would just throw himself at Elia no matter what happened, no matter how Elia messed up. Guess, he was just so scared to lose the people in his life, so scared upon seeing their faces on Friday that he didn’t think clearly about what his best friend would do.

When they broke apart, Luca took a step back and seemed to breath out in relief.

“Can we never like not talk? I hated being mad at you.” Luca flopping his hair.

Elia, paralleling Luca, too gave out a breath in relief. Not talking to Luca, to the boys, having them be mad at him hurt as much as Filo not talking to him and being mad at him but the hurt was just like on different frequencies. 

“Yes, please!” Elia said with a small smile while closing the door. 

Elia didn’t even needed to lead Luchino. In a second Luca was already in the living room chilling on the couch literally waiting for Elia to join him. Elia, though, knew that they couldn’t be just okay with the snap of a finger. He needed to ‘explain himself and apologize’. He fucked it up and he needed to own up to it. So, Elia walked into the living room and stood near the door looking at Luca and shifting between his feet.

“Look, Luca-

“You don’t need to, I know.” Luca said with his trademarked goofy smile. Of course he knew. He knew Elia so well that he already knew how sorry he was. 

“But I need to.” Elia said seriously shaking his head up and down, like he thought he needed to own up to it. “I am sorry for getting into a fight with that asshole. When I saw him making fun of you I just saw red.” He added looking down. “I messed up. Big time. I broke my promise to you. I am really sorry.” 

Luca shook his head up and down with a bit more serious expression. 

“Apology officially accepted.” Luca said clasping his hands together in the front. “Just as long as you for real promise that you won’t do something like this again. And what I mean is you won’t get into meaningless fights with people who are not worth it.”

Elia gulped down his emotional side and let a big smile spread through his face. The fact that Luca wasn’t even asking him to promise not to get involved with those boys again or making him promise not to break a promise but was just trying to keep Elia from impulsively fighting again explained everything about Luca. Luca was only thinking about Elia, thinking about how he didn’t want Elia to get hurt or get into trouble. No matter how naive Luca was most of the time, he really was like an angel. God, my sappiness has spread to my friendships too, Elia thought.

“I promise. For real. I promise on you and the contrabbandieri and-

“Okay, okay I believe you Elia.” Luca said with a little chuckle. 

Elia was now only realizing how much thinking Luca was mad at him at point of no forgiveness actually weighed down on him. He still had a bunch of issues to work on but the way he was breathing so freely now was astounding. It was just like as long as he had Luca and Gio and his friends it seemed like he was going to be fine, they were going to get him better. 

“But you should know that I was fine. I am fine. You guys don’t seem to learn anything but I actually took lessons from Marti and Gio and now you. If I wasn’t fine, if I needed help I would have come to you.” Luca said raising his eyebrows and putting on an all-knowing smile. 

“Well, you were always the smartest one.” Elia said with a shrug and a chuckle. 

Luca reached and grabbed the grey, square couch pillow and threw it over at Elia. Elia, gaining some of his groove back caught the pillow before it can hit him. Then he jumped on to the other couch, the bigger one from its back.

Elia truly believed Luca that he was fine. He believed it before the whole fight thing too but he was just so hellbent on the idea that he stil needed to do something. Now, he was realizing that, as long as Luca was fine he didn’t need to do anything. Or the thing he did, didn’t have to be a fight because like Gio said ‘they didn’t throw the first punch’. A solution could have been hanging out with Luca more around the school. Also, it was actually very dumb of them to keep doing this in cycles. Like Luca said they should have learned something from the others’ stories. Still, they did learn some little things. Gio’s whole problem was thinking he was able to deal with things on his own so he didn’t reach out. But, Elia did learn from them and he reached out, talking to Eva about Filo. His other issues, the idea of a protective man, his issues with his father were just old ones, rooted ones that he never dealt with.

After Elia settled on his couch Luca stared at him intensely with big eyes as if he was waiting for something, expecting something. 

“Elia, I am not Gio. I don’t know how to ask the right questions. You just need to tell me what made you snap.” Luca said finally still gazing at Elia.

It was true that Elia did it, punched that ass for Luca but if things hadn’t just piled up he would have calculated more in his mind before doing that in the school corridor. So, to an extent, yes he snapped. And again it was so Luca that he recognized this. He remembered Luca’s words from a few seconds ago. He needed to talk to Luca because he wasn’t fine.

“I was trying to protect you, you.” Elia said opting to open up. “But also, I think I was trying to overcorrect for all the times I couldn’t protect others.” Elia continued with a sigh.

“When have you ever failed at protecting people?” Luca asked with a confused expression.

“Couldn’t protect my mom from my dad and now…” Elia sighed. “…he is doing the same to Anna. And-“ Elia paused there. He didn’t want to tell Luca about Martino’s secret. Luca didn’t need to get involved, somebody aside from Gio needed to be out of the secret too. Also, it wasn’t Elia’s secret to tell. That was one of his principles. Well, Elia couldn’t tell Luca about Filo too. Not yet. So, he decided to be ambiguous. “I couldn’t protect you from bullies. And I can’t, I can't do anything about the world, about how the world looks at Martino and Nicco.” He paused again and realized that he started bouncing his leg. "I just want to be a good man.” Elia finished with a half shrug in the end. 

“Elia, you are good man. One of the best I know!” Luca said cheerfully. Then, he got more serious, starting sitting up more straightly. “You can’t protect people from heartbreak, not your mom or Anna or us.” Luca then paused and scratched his head. "Last year, with those homophobic guys…it was different. They used bad words and pushed Gio and the second time they punched Marti first. But do you always have to throw punches to protect people? Can’t you do something else?"

Elia smiled a little to himself. Luca was supporting what he had come to think since Friday. He could be protective in other ways too, right?

“Do you have anything in mind?” Elia asked keeping his small smile.

“I don’t know.” Luca said with a shrug and dropping his back to the couch. “Maybe just being there for him-for them when you are out in the world. Maybe just showing that you have people's backs, no matter what. Maybe us, trying to educate ourselves on BPD, trying to respect Nicco is a way to protect him. Maybe all of us not sending Gio back to his house is a way to protect him too.” He added with another shrug. "You know get creative!” he finished again cheerily.

"I will get creative!” Elia added with a similar happy tone, Luca’s one rubbing off on him. “Thanks Luchino.” Elia added with a sincere smile but a serious expression.

“That’s what Luchino is for!” Luca replied with a chuckle.

He was fine with Luca. Better than fine. Luca, he didn’t give solutions out right or told Elia what to do. But he was just helping Elia figure it all out. It felt like they were in this together, like Elia didn’t have to find how to be good, how to act righy on his own. He had Luchino and that was all he needed.

And you know, maybe he was already a good man. After all, if Luca, one of the nicest people thought he was good then he was good. And if Luca said he didn’t need to throw punches to be good, he didn’t need to throw punches. 

* * *

**Lunedi 15:14 - Burden**

Elia had skipped school today until the moment he had to go in with his parents. It wasn’t ideal to be there with both his mom and his dad but at least it wasn’t uncomfortable. Every once in a while, like on Elia’s birthdays, the three of them would go out and have dinner anyway. The talk with the principal wasn’t as bad as Elia thought it be. Honestly, he was ready for anything, any punishment from his parents and school and even for a suspension of some sort. As long as he was okay with Luca and the boys and everyone else he was fine; he didn’t care much about his academic records.

What happened was that, Luca came in and explained that Antonelli and Dentino had been making fun of him and that Elia knew about it and that’s why he started a fight. It helped Elia’s case a lot because at least now he didn’t seem like a teenager who started fights for no reason. Because of this and also because Antonelli had like a bruise under his eye and a split lip, not something too serious, he was able to get out without any punishments from the school. What he received instead was a long lecture from the principal and his parents. They told Elia how he couldn’t fix things by fighting and how he needed to tell a teacher in situations of bullying. Well, agreed with the first part and rolled his eyes at the second. As far as he knew the school wouldn’t do anything for Luca.

And so, Elia left the principle’s office before his parents leaving them to also talk about Elia’s grades and future and also the principal wanted his parents at least ground him or something. Like he though, whatever, he just wanted to get out of there. 

The moment Elia stepped into the corridor he found Luca, Gio and even Martino waiting for him. He had guessed that after like giving his statement to the principal Luca would be waiting for him but he didn’t expect to see Gio, much less Martino. He walked over to the boys with a smirk on his face, the first one ever since Thursday night. The moment the boys spotted him they stopped talking and turned to look at him with big eyes, only Martino was trying to avert his gaze.

“So?” Gio asked before Elia could even reach to them. 

“Dodged getting expelled with a long lecture.” Elia said smirking and rolling his eyes. 

“YEAH!” Luca shouted and immediately raised his hands up waiting for a high five from Elia. 

Elia’s smirk grew bigger as he high fived Luca. Then, Gio grabbed his shoulders and shook him while cheering. In that moment, his eyes met with Martino’s. Martino gave him a half smile, but Elia knew that if things weren’t messy between them Martino would be cheering just as much as Luca and Gio. It was a miracle, a bliss that Gio didn't figure out something was wrong between Elia and Martino. Maybe he did but he wasn't saying anything, being patient, being Gio. Now that, this talk with the principal was over too he needed to focus on a new mess. I should talk to Martino, Elia thought. Sure started thinking he overreacted by snapping but he was still mad at Martino.

When the contrabbandieri’s loud noises died down, he was glad there was no one in the corridor to give them looks for all the cacophony, Elia turned to Luca and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“Thanks for coming in and talking. It helped my case a lot.” Elia said with a softer smirk.

Luca just shrugged with a big smile:

“No need to thank.” He said also meaning, ‘no big deal’.

“But have you learned your lesson Mr.Santini?” Gio asked with a grin of his own.

“Of course, Professor Garau. I won’t get into trouble sir.” He replied smiling. His reply earned him a smack on the head from Gio. 

“Oh, I forgot to text you.” Gio said now smacking his own forehead. “Ele’s lawyer just wanted her to sign some documents. There isn’t anything wrong but that gave us quite a panic.” 

Elia smiled and breathed with relief. Thank God, he thought. He didn’t want Eleonora to get sucked into that awful situation again and that asshole to get away. Also, even though Filo didn’t talk to him about this, he knew it weighed on Filo too (Eleonora was his little sister after all). So, Elia was happy for two people. 

“That’s great!” Elia said with a smile. 

"And Filippo is back from Milano so next time he can go with her too." Gio said carefully with a tiny smile and a twinkle in his eyes.

Before Elia could reply or question why this additional information was given his father walked out of the principal’s room. Elia looked behind him, searching for his mother, but he guessed she was still inside. His father walked over to the boys with a big smile in the most ‘dad’ way. 

“How are you doing boys?” Stefano asked looking in between the members of the contrabbandieri.

Elia was trying not to face his father which didn’t escape from Luca’s eyes. After all, he was the only one to know about Elia’s fight with his father. Luca joined him, as the best friend he is, in not looking at Elia’s father and Gio being Gio did the talking. 

“We’re good. How are you?” Gio asked with his parent’s favorite smile.

Still, Gio being Gio he didn’t miss the way Elia was avoiding his father’s eyes too-more than normal. Gio gave him glance and forced Elia to look at him for their telepathy to work but Elia managed stay looking down.

“I am good too. Just dealing with your friend.” Stefano answered trying to make a joke which didn’t resonate with the younger ones. “Elia can we talk?” he asked turning to his son.

It wasn’t like he could say no to that question right now, in front of his friends, in the school corridor. 

“See you later.” Elia said turning to the boys and giving them a half smile. 

He tried not to look at Martino as he turned around but their eyes met for a second. God, he still had so much to fix, to work through.

Elia and his dad walked down the stairs to the school garden in silence. Elia knew what was coming. His father had already joined in the lecture before. This was in no way going to be about the fight. But Elia was going to try to stay calm not only because they were still in school but also because he was trying to be less angry, maybe less short tempered. 

But when the silence became unbearable Elia sighed and said, in a calm voice:

“Dad, I don’t want to talk about that.” He said emphasizing ‘that’ and hoping his father got it. “I just need you to talk to Anna and come clean yourself.” He continued as he paused and looked down on the ground.

“Elia…” Stefano sighed. “…can you please let me explain?” His father asked in almost a begging voice.

Elia clicked his jaw. He was going to be calm and not snap, not yell. Perhaps, he should give his father a chance to explain. Isn’t that what he was planning to do with Filo?

“I am listening.” Elia said looking down. 

“I should’ve told you I was going to lie to Anna using you.” Stefano started slowly and Elia rolled his eyes. “But it’s not what you think. I swear.” He added in a tone unlike the time Elia caught him cheating. He somehow sounded sincere.

“Dad-

“I am not cheating on Anna. There is nobody else. I would never do that again.” Stefano said and gave out a breath. Elia didn’t roll his eyes this time and he even looked at his father’s face. “Her family lives in a small town near Turin. They are a very traditional family. I went up there to ask for their permission.” He continued and Elia gave him a confused scowl. Then, Stefano reached in his pocket and pulled out a ring box. “I am going to ask her to marry me.” Stefano finished with a tiny smile.

Oh fuck, Elia thought. Out of all the times he misread situations in his life that might have been his biggest fuck up. But honestly, this felt like a movie cliche so his father could have handled it better maybe gave Elia a heads up like he said. Anyway, wow, Elia now thought. His father was going to ask Anna to marry him. That was nice actually. He liked Anna and if they were happy that was a good thing. 

“Dad, for one I can think of a million ways you could have approached this. Two, I am sorry I yelled like that and three, I am happy for you.” Elia said nodding with a smile. 

“Thanks, son.” Stefano said giving Elia a pat on the shoulder. “I was going to ask for your permission-

But Elia stopped his father before he could finish the sentence by shaking his hands in front of him to mean ‘no, no’. Now, his father was the one to smile and nod.

“There’s one more thing that I actually should have talked to you about years ago.” Stefano started again, getting more serious. Here we go, Elia thought for the long awaited, about five years, talk. “I am sorry that I got you involved in my mess. I know that you have been blaming yourself for giving out the secret, for the divorce. But…” Stefano said putting a hand on Elia’s shoulder. “…it’s on me. I am the one that cheated and I never should have asked you to keep what you saw a secret. I should have come clean to your mother myself. I put on a big burden on you. I am sorry.” he finished off squeezing his son’s shoulder.

Elia took in a big breath and gave it out pretty shakily. He realized then, he had been waiting to hear these words for the past five years. He had never felt this light for years. He knew, he knew that his father was the one to fuck up but he always felt like he was the one to make the finishing shot at his parents’ marriage. Sometimes, you just needed to hear these words out loud to stop believing you were guilty. 

Elia instead of replying with anything, because what would he say exactly, took a step forward and hugged his father. Suddenly, he felt like he was a little boy hugging his father because he was scared, because he felt lonely or just because. For the past years, he felt like there was always like was some kind of coldness, some kind of distance with his father. Now, it was as if all of that had melted away. Just by simple words and a couple of sentences. Also, the fact that his father had learned his lesson meant so much to Elia.

When they broke apart the hug, his father had a little smirk on:

“And no fighting again.” he said trying to ruffle Elia’s short, straight hair.

Elia looked at his father and smiled back. It was the most sincere, most real smile (maybe the only smile) he had shown his father for years.

And about the burden part. He needed to talk to Marti, like right now.

* * *

**Martedi 8:45 - I Am Sorry**

Elia had been standing at the corner of a street just two streets down their school for twenty minutes. He knew Martino got off the bus just in the middle of this street. Elia wanted to see Marti before the school started, before the others were present. After his talk with his father, after things started falling into place in Elia’s mind he started seeing the whole thing with Marti and Gio and Eva differently. Mostly, he realized how he might have overreacted a little and he had the eyes to see how that had been eating Marti inside for the past days.

Elia was looking through his phone more specifically his old pictures and videos with Filippo. He still hadn’t heard back from Filo which was awful. He knew Filo came back yesterday, thanks to Gio and then Silvia, and honestly even if he was in Milano still he could have texted back. Filo was right to be still mad though and Elia knew he needed to pull something like directly going to his door like Filo did with him. But he was coursing through the messes one at a time and upon Silvia’s advice he was trying to give Filo more time.

Just when Elia had raised his head up from looking at the phone he saw Marti a few steps away walking over to Elia’s way. Once he spotted Elia he got slower. Elia felt bad thinking Marti was probably expecting another fight. When he reached Elia he avoided looking at Elia’s eyes, grabbed his bag’s handles and said:

“Hi.” in a small voice.

“Hi.” Elia replied back sounding so loud next to Marti’s awfully quiet voice. “Can we talk?” Elia added trying to be as gentle as possible.

Marti only nodded in return still not looking at Elia. Gio’s words echoed in Elia’s mind, _“...do you know what your opinion about him means to Marti…”_. The fact that he was so mad at and disappointed in Marti must have wrecked him. Fuck, he could only imagine how Marti had been feeling after all the things Elia said considering Marti was already feeling so guilty before. 

“Marti, I am so sorry I snapped at you like that.” Elia said with a sigh which must have caught Marti off guard because he suddenly raised his head. “You were right. It had some-“ Elia paused, literally cut himself in. “…it had a lot to do with myself.” Elia admitted softly. 

“Elia…” Marti tried saying with tears brimming in his eyes. For the past days, Elia had been feeling relief after relief so he knew how Marti felt. He knew exactly how it felt to see that your best friend wasn’t in fact as mad at you as you thought they were. 

Elia put a supporting hand on Marti’s shoulder and felt Marti shake under his grip. Elia almost started to shake too feeling Marti’s relief and pain and guilt at the same time. So, Elia squeezed Marti’s shoulder tight.

“I put all the anger I had for myself on you and that was wrong. I expected you to be better than me but that wasn’t fair. You are allowed to make the same mistakes too.” Elia said still trying to be soft. 

Marti nodded sincerely, blinking the tears away. One of the things that weighed in on Elia was that he wasn’t able to protect Marti from his sharp tongue. He was trying to change that by having a softer tongue now. That could count as being protective, right? Like Luca said, ‘get creative’. 

“Elia, you know you aren’t the one to blame for their divorce, right?” Marti asked trying to match Elia’s soft voice. 

Even in a hard situation for him, Marti was trying to comfort Elia back. God, Elia had the best friend and he had no idea how he managed to get them. Marti was always like this, much more level-headed than all of them and always so kind (yeah well, when he wasn’t heartbroken but everybody had their moment to snap, right?) A tiny smile appeared on Elia’s face and he gave Marti’s shoulder another squeeze.

“I know now.” Elia said and after a second he added. “And I am not saying this to be mad at Eva or anything, it’s in the past but like your wise boyfriend stated she shouldn’t have told you that in the first place. Gio is your best friend and for the reasons obvious now, it’s normal you cracked.” He added with a smirk in the end. 

The part with the ‘reasons obvious now’ also got into Marti who had a smaller smirk now. He pushed Elia’s hand away playfully and looked at Elia keeping the same smirk.

“Yeah. I really did crack.” Marti said shaking his head.

And now that Elia properly apologized to Marti and comforted him, showed him support, it was time for a reality check. Even though, Elia was no longer mad at Marti that secret was still a big elephant between the contrabbandieri. Elia was also seeing that it was destroying Marti inside as well as hurting Gio and Eva’s relationship and maybe it would Marti and Eva’s friendship too.

“Still, you did go behind both Eva and Gio’s back. That wasn’t cool and it hurt them.” Elia said with half-smile. “And, I know you know this and you already feel fucking guilty. I also know that those two didn’t break up because of you.”

And maybe this, giving the hard truth even if it hurts, was his role. Like Gio said Elia was able to say the things he couldn’t. Elia didn’t need to be exactly like Gio. He could be different and that didn’t mean he wasn’t a good friend. He was a great friend. He was filling that role right now.

“And, I know that now.” Marti replied with a half-smile of his own.

“I know Gio would forgive you. Everybody knows Gio would forgive. For God’s sake, he would kill and die for you. Do you think he won’t get over this?” Elia said with a more lively voice trying to support Marti. 

“I am guessing the correct answer is no.” Marti said looking at Elia with hesitant eyes.

“I know it’s eating you too. It’s best if you talk to him.” Elia said with a shrug in the end. “Just, you should do it in your own time.” He remembered to add. 

This time Elia was going for a more patient version of himself. He wasn’t going to add more pressure to Marti. Not after how much pressure he added last week. Now that his anger was gone and he was back to fully loving his best friend Elia was remembering exactly how awful Marti looked on last Friday morning with his sulken shoulders and circles under his eyes. Elia was not going to be a part of that again.

“I think I need more time for myself.” Marti said sighing and looking down. “But I can’t wait. Gio and Eva haven’t been talking since Saturday. Gio wants me to be so happy and I can’t let him lose his happiness.”

Elia nodded with a kind smile. Elia didn’t think if Gio and Eva broke up over this Marti could take it. So, even if it was early for him, Elia was supportive of Marti’s decision to talk to Gio soon. And especially because that was a decision Marti came to on his own because he was a good friend too.

“Well, you are not special. Gio wants all of us to be happy.” Elia said with a grin pushing Marti lightly on the shoulder.

Marti exhaled which then turned into a smile too. He looked up at Elia with that smile and in an instant Marti crashed into him, wrapping his arms behind Elia’s back. Elia was feeling Marti clutch on to him, literally grabbing his coat. Elia realized that all this time Marti was not only scared that he was going to lose Gio but also Elia too because Marti knew he was going to be mad like this. With a relieved sigh, knowing he was fine with Marti and knowing that he was being a good friend to Marti by showing him he got his back, Elia hugged Marti back, tight. He gave Marti’s hair a ruffle while still hugging. 

When they broke the hug apart Marti looked at him with a tiny smile. 

“Please don’t call me Martino again. You make it sound so passive agressive.” He said with a half chuckle.

Elia threw his arm around Marti’s shoulder with a chuckle too:

“Deal, Rametta.” He said as the two of them started walking to school together.

As long as Elia was fine with the contrabbandieri he could deal with whatever the world threw at him. They would help Elia see his faults and mistakes and help him get over his little outdated insecurities and show him how he did not have to fight with the whole world to keep them near and safe. He just needed to be Elia.

* * *

**Giovedi 18:32 - A Good Person**

Elia was at his mom’s living room playing FIFA by himself. His mom was probably on his way from work and Elia had a chicken in the oven cooking for dinner. Also, Gio was supposed to sleep over today so that’s why Elia opted for a big dinner. He was playing Liverpool, his favourite UK team. Whenever Elia had Liverpool he would always, always win. That’s why he wasn’t allowed to pick Liverpool while playing with the boys.

Normally, Elia didn’t like playing by himself. It wasn’t as much fun as having bets and competing with others. When he won by himself, playing against the game it wasn’t as rewarding. But after cooking the dinner if he just sat down and did nothing he would have gone crazy thinking about Filo and how they haven’t talked for a week and how Filo was still not texting back. So, he had to get his hands and his mind busy. Thank god for, FIFA he thought.

He was just in the middle of a game when the door bell rang. Elia was trying to score a goal so he ignored it for a few seconds but the ringing got faster and more annoying so he paused the game and threw the controller onto the couch. With a groan and a ‘fuck’ he made his way to the door.

Elia flung open the door with an annoyed smirk:

“Fuck Gio, I was just winn-

He paused abruptly when he saw that it wasn’t Gio at the door as he expected but Irene. Was she coming over today?, Elia thought to himself. 

“Hello to you too dear cousin.” Irene said getting inside, brushing past Elia. 

Elia closed the door with a scowl and turned back to Irene with a surprised expression with his mouth still gaping. 

“Why are you so surprised? It’s me Irene, remember. I have known you since you were born.” Irene said rolling her eyes with a smirk.

Yeah, why was he so surprised? His mind was such a mess lately and mostly his family, cousins and uncles and all felt far from whatever was going on in his life. It was just that he focused on one part that he forgot the other.

Elia rolled his eyes too and flipped off Irene who flipped him back in a second. This was mostly their dynamic. Elia knew, as much as Irene was the only reason he got through the big family dinners, Elia was the only reason Irene got through the big family dinners too. 

“Or maybe I don’t know you. Or maybe, maybe you switched places with my lovely brother Chris.” Irene said pointing at Elia with an all knowing smirk. 

Oh, fuck. Out of everybody Elia really didn’t want to hear a lecture about him getting into a fight from Irene because she was going to make all the right points and Elia was going to have nothing to say. Also, he thought he moved past this fight topic after his parents coming to the school.

“Irene-“ Elia tried to explain himself but that only earned him a smack on the arm from her.

“What were you thinking getting into a fight at school?” Irene asked in a pretty much annoyed tone raising her eyebrows.

“I wasn’t thinking.” Elia answered with a shrug. 

This answer didn’t help much because Irene groaned throwing her head back. There was no way Elia was getting out of this talk and lecture.

“Do you know how much my father praised you? He said you were even better than Christian.” Irene said her annoyance getting turned into a little bit of anger. “Do you see what is wrong with that?” She asked opening her hands in front of her. 

And, fuck, Elia obviously saw the wrong in that. Honestly, he should have seen something was wrong when Uncle Dario compared him to Christian last week and said maybe Christian should be more like him. Because as history showed whatever Uncle Dario supported and praised usually fall on the side Elia and Irene didn’t. 

“Yes, I see that Irene. I really see that.” Elia answered with a sigh. 

This still didn’t satisfy Irene enough. She wasn’t going to let this one go and Elia knew she was right not to. She always hated how Christian turned out to be the complete opposite of her. For Irene, Christian was a jackass and a douchebag who got into fights, who never learned anything yet was the number one child. And Elia shared her sentiments. He would roll his eyes at any mention of a fight Christian was getting into and he would never want to be like Christian as he said to Irene many times. This whole thing again proves how stupid and impulsive Elia was for punching a guy in the hallway.

“I just don’t understand. You hated everything Chris did as much as me. Why did you act like him?” Irene questioned with a disappointed look in her eyes and Elia wanted to smack himself for that. 

Irene was truly like his big sister and it was the worst feeling having somebody a little bit older, somebody you looked up to be disappointed in you. The thing was there was at least a difference between him and Christian. Christian got into meaningless fights mostly over girls but Elia, no matter how wrong it was, got into a fight for his best friend. 

“I wasn’t exactly like Christian. He gets into meaningless fights.” Elia said and Irene gave him a look that meant ‘really’ with her arms crossed. “I mean I got into that fight for Luca. Because I was trying to be a good friend, a good man.” Elia added firmly.

And this again, earned him a harder smack on the arm from Irene.

“What the fuck does that even mean? Is this some of my dad’s bullshit?” Irene asked full on angrily this time and Elia looked down losing all his firmness from seconds ago. Irene took a look at him and rolled her eyes, “Of course it is.” she added with a sigh. She uncrossed her arms and ran a hand through her dirty blonde hair. “Look Elia, whatever he told you just forget it. I bet he gave you the definition of a good man, right? That’s what he does with Pietro and Christian. Why do we have to think in such masculine terms? If you want to be good just be good. Be a good person.”

Elia only looked up the second Irene finished her sentence. Really fuck myself, Elia thought. He was so stupid buying into Uncle Dario’s old ideals about how a man should be. It wasn’t like defence but it was just things piled on with him dating a man and rightfully fearing all the homophobes around and then with those assholes bothering Luca and Elia not realizing. Then, Uncle Dario said those words and it got mixed with Elia not being sure of his role in his friend’s lives and his obsession to protect his loved ones. So, he bought into the ideals he had been making fun of for years.

“Fuck me.” Elia said out loud smacking his own forehead with a groan. “I don’t know what happened. A lot of things piled on top of each other and for some fucking reason I thought he made sense.” Elia said looking at Irene apologetically. 

Irene’s eyes softened a little and some of her disappointed expression wiped away.

“Well, as long as you realize what you did was wrong and you know that mentality, that ideal is not right.” Irene said nodding. 

“I know, I know.” Elia said quickly shaking his head up and down. “Just be a good person.” He added repeating Irene’s words with a little smile. “I don’t need to yell, I don’t need to get into fights even if I think it’s justified because of some bigger reason. Those don’t make a good person.” Elia finished emphasizing the ‘person’ part.

“Good, good.” Irene said approvingly. “Don’t get pulled into the rest of the family. I need you to stay sane.” She added with a smirk. 

“Promise.” Elia said smiling a little and being relieved that this argument didn’t go long so it didn’t weigh on him much. 

Also, he needed this shake down from a person that knew the family, that knew how harmful the ideal of a good man like that was. Because even after the fight, even after everything he still thought he did everything for a noble cause. It was a mistake but it was a noble cause. So, seeing Irene so disappointed and angry and reminding him that he shouldn’t turn into the people he didn’t like truly helped a lot. He was no longer caring about the noble cause part because his reasons didn’t change the fact that he got into a stupid fight. And he no longer wanted to be a good man; he only cared about being a good person as he should have before. Like Irene said, goodbye to these narrow minded masculine ideals.

Now, Elia had dealt with almost all of the messes in his life some which were created because of his mistake with fighting and some that came from before. He knew he had to keep working on his insecurities as a friend and he knew he needed to actively try to be a good person everyday but at least he learned the beginning lesson. And by some magical chance or maybe just because he had the absolute best people in his life that didn’t leave him with his mistakes he managed not to lose one friend or cousin. He actually gained more because he felt he was closer to like Silvia.

And he had one final mess left. He needed to find Filo as soon as possible without waiting him to text back because it felt like he gave Filo enough time. Now, it was time to apologize and explain himself and show Filo that he learned better and that he would be better hoping Filo would forgive him. Hoping they would continue on stronger than before. Filo was Elia’s first real relationship. Elia for the first time ever decided to put all these effort to someone for someone. Filo was the first person to make Elia question a feeling of love. There was no way Elia was going to let Filo slip away from his fingertips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope you liked it!!!!
> 
> As you can see the hell week isn't that long! I mean I have to have the characters learn from each other. This would be like the 5th or 6th season, technically, so it doesn't makes sense that Elia has consecutive hell weeks without talking to anyone. Anyway, I can say the rest of the fic will be more focused on Elia's growth and Elia using the things he learns to help others.
> 
> And I know there is no Elippo this week but just be patient we are in for a big treat for the rest of the chapters *wink*.
> 
> I really loved writing the part with Gio and having Gio list all of those things to Elia. I hope you did too! And also the part with Luca, he really is the smartest one. Silvia is just being a helper of Elippo is all of us I think. I also loved the part with Marti and Irene. It was sad writing Elia be mad at Marti so I am glad we are over that. And I love the character Irene I created ahahah!
> 
> Finally, I want to point out a little parallel I wrote. In the Giovanni Season after Luca and Gio has an argument while Gio is apologizing Luca says this:
> 
> "... I just thought you could never do any wrong. That wasn’t fair to you because everybody can do wrong.”
> 
> and in this chapter Elia says this to Marti while talking:
> 
> "...I expected you to be better than me but that wasn’t fair. You are allowed to make the same mistakes too."
> 
> I don't know I just thought it was a nice parallel that came naturally. I think these boys love and praise each other so much that they always think the other ones are so good and they think of the other ones as perfect.
> 
> Let me know what you think, what you expect! 
> 
> come talk to me on tumblr : @youleavebehindmemories


	7. Chapter 7 : I Am Ready

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everybody!
> 
> Fyi, this chapter is long like real long. So it's okay if you skip paragraphs or skim through the whole thing or don't read at all ahhaha (but read the ones at the end of Mercoledi clip because it explains the end of the scene)
> 
> I say this literally in every chapter but this is my favourite chapter I have written so far. I love all the scenes and it felt so satisfying to write good conclusions and nice moments.
> 
> Also, this is the Elippo content you signed up for!
> 
> The world is going through a really tough time right now. Things are starting to just escalate here and I am closely following international news, I have friends studying all over from South Korea to US and to Italy. Of course my heart goes out to everyone but since I am writing this about Skam Italy I just wanted to say that I am thinking of Italy a lot. There is nothing to say really but just know that I am wishing the best for Italy and I hope that things get better soon. And with quarantine and the precautions Italy is taking I really think things will get better. Until then, to anyone reading from Italy take care of yourselves <3

**Venerdi 23:25 - Focus On The Love**

The moment Elia stepped into that street he knew he was making a mistake. The mistake wasn’t the fact that he was walking into that street but the fact that he didn’t actually plan what he was going to say to Filippo if he found him there.

He kept thinking about what Filippo said to him when he came to his door. Filo had just started talking and explained himself, explained why he acted like that in the party. So, if Elia were to take a page out of his boyfriend’s book he also needed to explain himself and tell him how sorry he was.

With a sigh Elia put his hands in his pockets and stepped into the street. He never came here with Filo. In hindsight, as Elia learned later on, he was a version of Marti’s first days of discovering himself. He wasn’t like talking shit about the gay pride and all but he wasn’t taking much part in anything the community related. Not even, going to gay bars or the gay street much less going to the LGBTQ association Filo was a part of. That was a part of his educating himself plan too. But first he needed to get Filo back.

He scanned around the street, trying to spot a familiar head of pink hair that was enough to make butterflies fly in Elia’s stomach with just one sight. Elia kept scanning around trying to find Filo and with every passing second and look he was losing all hope. He didn’t want to go directly to Filo’s house because he wanted to catch him alone and he knew Filo hung out here.

All of his hope was lost and he was already thinking of a new destination to look for Filo. Maybe that movie theater he brought Elia to a few times? Maybe that cool, vintage bar near his university? Just as Elia had turned around with another sigh he heard a familiar sound call out his name. He murmured ‘fuck’ under his breath as he turned back on his heels to see Nicco’s face.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Nicco approached him holding a beer can and a cigarette between his fingers.

“I-“ Elia started but realized that he had just all his lying powers. Then his mind flashed in panic about the fact that Nicco had just caught him in the gay street and more importantly if Nicco was there Marti might be. “Is Marti here?” Elia asked looking behind Nicco trying to catch a sight of Marti.

“No, no.” Nicco answered taking a drag of his cigarette. “He is at his mom’s. They had dinner together. It was mom and son time without the son-in-law present.” He added with a little laugh.

Elia nodded trying to forget the fact that he totally skipped Nicco’s question about what he was doing there. It wasn’t just that he lost his lying powers. There was no way he could lie out of that; he wasn’t as stupid as Marti.

Nicco must have noticed his panic because Elia was sure he was radiating off panic with her pursed lips and furrowed eyebrows and shaky leg.

“You want a beer or you a fancy a smoke?” Nicco said with a little smirk raising his hands up to show the beer and the cigarette he was holding.

Two minutes later they were sitting on the side of a pavement some steps away from the crowd. Nicco had brought Elia a beer too and Elia got out his own pack of cigarettes and lighted one. He took a puff of his cigarette with a long shaky breath. How was it possible that everything he did reminded him of Filo? Taking that puff, it reminded Elia about the time they shared a cigarette between them and each of them sharing something about themselves with each puff. That was the night he got to know Filo the most. He learned about how much he loved sushi and how much he loved old, like old-old French cinema and how he liked to call himself ‘uncle Filippo’ with the girls and how much he hated that one tattoo he got when he was 17.

“You know…” Nicco started slowly with a tiny smile. “…Filippo found Marti here one night.”

Of course Elia knew that. He listened to the part about Marti throwing up so many times.

“Yeah.” Elia said looking down at his shoes and dropping some part of the ash to the ground.

“Elia I didn’t want to do this.” Nicco said and Elia looked at him with a scowl that read as ‘what?’ “But you look sad and you are now trying to smoke the sadness away. And I ran into you and I know you don’t know how to answer me.” Nicco finished with the most ambiguous sentence Elia had ever heard.

Elia was looking at Nicco now with a different kind of scowl one that read as ‘okay, and?’

“You were looking for Filo, right?” Nicco asked with a soft smile.

Elia was sure he heard sirens went off in his mind. How the fuck did Nicco know and how the fuck was he supposed to answer this? He didn’t want to spread Filo and him more especially since he didn’t know where they stood right now.

“Yes, yes I was. I needed to ask him something-“ Elia started rambling but Nicco cut him off.

“Elia, it’s okay. I know.” Nicco said with the same soft smile from before.

At the point realized that he let his cigarette run out. He took another puff from the almost finished cigarette and put it out. Fuck it, Elia said to himself. If Nicco already knew there was no way Elia could deny it.

“You know?” said Elia reaching for another cigarette. “Since when?” he asked somewhat quietly.

“Remember the party at our house a few weeks ago? You and Filo really don’t know how to sneak around corridors.” Nicco said with a smirk taking a sip of his beer.

Despite everything Elia couldn’t help but smile as he looked down too. That night was amazing. How Elia wish he could have that back right now… He couldn’t even describe the way he missed Filo’s lips on his.

“Why didn’t you say anything?" Elia asked looking at Nicco.

Nicco shrugged slowly and took another sip of his beer:

“I didn’t want to push you. I was just waiting for you two to tell us.” he answered with a smile.

Elia smiled thankfully and nodded. It was nice that Nicco waited because if Nicco came to Elia with this a few weeks ago, before his talk with Filippo about keeping things secret, Elia would have panicked more and maybe said the wrong things.

“So, what’s going on?” Nicco asked with his eyebrows knitted, in a slightly worried look.

Elia pinched his nose and threw his head back. He did like a pros and cons list. It was a fact that he needed help with this, with being okay with Filippo again. Sure, Silvia and Eva were great help but one difference with Silvia and Eva was that, Nicco truly knew Filippo and Elia well, both of them.

“You know about the fight at school?” Elia started and saw Nicco nod as a reply. “The night before that, I was out with Filo. I saw these guys talking to him from a distance. And I just assumed the worst.” Elia added and glanced at Nicco to see that he understood what Elia meant. “Then, we argued and I said I would do anything to protect and he got upset that I was so angry and ready to fight. We haven’t spoken since.” Elia finished off taking a long drag of his second cigarette of the talk.

Then, Elia suddenly turned in his place some degrees to look at Nicco fully and talked more with a need to explain himself.

“Look, I went on a learning journey last week. I heard a lot of lectures. I know that there is no use in fighting with people for Filo or for Luca or anyone. I know that I don’t need to do that to help.” Elia said and after a beat he sighed. “I just need to find Filo to tell him all this.”

Nicco nodded again and put down his can of beer. He bumped Elia’s shoulder with his shoulder lightly.

“Can I add in on the lectures too?” Nicco asked looking at Elia with a small smirk.

“Shoot it.” Elia replied with a similar small smirk.

“There’s always going to be people that hate you for who you are. What you can do is to focus on the love you have from Filo and us and the girls and your family instead of the hate of strangers.” Nicco said with a big and equally soft smile. "I didn’t just get there. I had time to work on this, Filo had time to work on this. Hell, even Marti had time to work on this. And you’ll get here too. I know that it’s not easy seeing the man you love get punched in the face.” Nicco added with his voice breaking through end and Elia’s heart broke with him, both because Marti and Nicco were best friends but also because he understood Nicco. “I still can’t forget the bloody spots on his shirt.” He continued looking down on his hands. "And sometimes it’s scary when we are out. But I know that in times like that what Marti needs from me is to hold his hand. That’s what Filo needs too.”

Last week, Gio, Luca, Irene, Silvia, Eva, Marti basically everybody he talked with helped a lot. Most of them didn’t have the full details. And even with Gio and Luca and Irene helping him see how he didn’t need to physically fight, be violent to be a good person they didn’t have the same perspective and experiences as Nicco. Hearing all this from Nicco was different. He had been through the worst in terms of the random homophobes and him saying that Elia just needed to hold Filo’s hand instead of being so angry meant a lot.

“Thank you.” Elia said with his eyes glistening under the street lights and a tiny but sincere smile. He, then, threw and arm around Nicco and pulled him into a hug. Nicco hugged him too, rubbing and patting his back. When they broke the hug apart, Elia said with a wider smile. “I will focus on the love. I promise.”

“As for Filo…” Nicco started. “…as soon as you find and talk to him, everything will be fine. Then, we can move onto double dates.” He finished with a big grin taking a sip of his beer.

Elia couldn’t imagine a double date with Marti and Nicco. Not only because Filo and him, whatever they were, was still a secret but because he just couldn’t. The four of them out together would be the funniest thing. They would all gang up on Marti and he would flip them all of. Stop dreaming, Elia said to himself in his mind. There was a long way to go to that.

“Marti would have a heart attack if he knew me and Filippo were together.” Elia said with a chuckle almost choking on his beer.

Nicco joined in on his laugh too and for a few seconds they just laughed sitting next to each other. It felt really nice after the gloomy days Elia had, one after the other. And well, the last time he talked to Nicco Elia had snapped on his boyfriend so it was nice to see that they were fine like before, maybe more than fine.

“Which reminds me…” Nicco said with a mischievous smirk. “…Gio knows too.” He finished raising his eyebrows.

WHAT THE FUCK, Elia’s mind screamed as he turned to Nicco with his eyes open and his mouth gaping as he poured some of his beer onto himself.

“WHAT?” Elia basically shouted and Nicco went into an unstoppable fit of laughter with him pouring some of his beer to himself too.

* * *

**Sabato 13:11 - All In**

Elia was sitting at Il Baretto by himself trying to study some history. Elia maybe was not Gio but he at least had to get some average grade from his classes and he haven't exactly been studying for the past few weeks. Elia was still trying to reach to Filo but he was still hesitant at just knocking on the Sava’s door. And he was at Il Baretto because he couldn’t fit in his room while thinking about Filo. He also thought maybe he could run into Filo here. Maybe…

Elia sighed fumbling through the thick book’s pages. He actually had another book about world history, something much more thin and with summarized information but he turned both his rooms inside out and he couldn’t find it. Tomorrow, he was going to try to steal the one Marti and Gio shared but for today he had to do with this thick book with the littlest writings and no pictures. Yes, he knew he sounded like a five year old.

Elia had just picked up his pen when he heard the chair being pulled and somebody dropping down on it. That somebody also slammed something on the table making a little bit of a noise. Elia rolled his eyes and raised his head with a little smile thinking it was one of the boys that found him there. He was wrong. When he looked up at who was sitting in front of him he met with a trademarked red lip stick and Eleonora raising her one eyebrow with her arms folded in front of her.

“I thought you might want this book back.” Eleonora said pointing at the table with her eyes. It was that history book Elia was looking for. And fuck, it only now hit him that he forgot that book over at Filo’s sometime over the last weeks.

“Thanks.” Elia said quickly reaching for the book and putting it down to the chair next to him. “I think I lent this to Marti last week.” He tried to li with a smile. It was a good lie that Elia was proud so he gave himself a mental pat on the back.

Eleonora shook her head with a little smile and raised her eyebrow again:

“Elia, do you seriously think I haven’t noticed you sneaking out?” She said with her green eyes wide open.

Oh for fuck’s sake, Elia thought. How the hell did everybody knew about them? They were being secretive and careful and maybe they weren’t the smartest when they were drunk but at the Sava house they had a plan. It was a little frustrating that Elia and Filo argued a few weeks ago about the whole secrecy thing when already three people knew about them.

“I thought we were good at hiding it.” Elia said with a facepalm.

“There was one time where I caught a glimpse of you sneaking out the door. There was another time where you left your bag in the kitchen. And well, there was the time when one morning I barged into Filo’s room and saw you two.” Eleonora said counting on her fingers.

Maybe Elia sleeping over at Filo’s all the time wasn’t their best calculated move.

“Well, fuck us then.” Elia said with a groan as he threw his hands up and leaned back on his chair.

Eleonora smiled a little looking at him but she still kept a somewhat stern look that Elia had to admit kinda scared him.

“I am going to be as candid as I have never been before.” Eleonora said and after a beat she added, “If you two could go back to fucking each other that would be great.” Now, her smile was wiped off and that stern look that scared Elia was there more with Eleonora’s cold face and serious tone.

Fuck, Elia thought as he put down his arms down to his lap, looking a little small across her. He was totally taken aback by how Eleonora phrased this considering they never really talked one-on-one and that Elia just now learned that she knew about him and Filo.

“That’s what I am trying to do Eleonora, really.” Elia said with a sigh while averting his eyes.

“Then why haven’t you come to talk to him? I know the reason he is sulking around the house is you. I also know that whatever happened between you two he is expecting you to come.” Eleonora said this time raising both of her eyebrows.

Truly, he was stupid. Just stupid. Sure, he was hesitant to go to their house because he didn’t want Eleonora to find out but he was Elia. He could have found a lie out of that. Guess, he was just trying to do one thing right, one thing as Filo wanted : to keep them a secret.

“I really have been trying to reach to him and trying to find him. More than half the reason I am here is him. I thought maybe he would come here. Just maybe.” Elia said with a sigh.

“Yeah, well, Il Baretto isn’t really his place unless somebody drags him along.” Eleonora said with a little shrug. Her tone seemed a little warmer now. Elia knew she was trying to be the sister that looked out for his brother and she was achieving that perfectly. If Elia was a person that needed to be scared off, and maybe he was a little bit, she succeeded at that.

Elia smiled a little looking at her and even though he didn’t say anything Eleonora seemed to lighten and soften more.

“Elia, I have never seen Filo smile as bright as when he was with you. I never seen him get flustered at the mention of someone’s name. Maybe you messed up but it doesn’t mean he stopped caring about you. You need to show him that you can apologize. That you won’t go away at the first hardship, that you are all in, okay?” Eleonora said softly with the kindest eyes ever.

If a sentence could make somebody both sad and happy at the same time then Eleonora’s sentences made Elia both sad and happy.

“I am all in.” Elia said as seriously as possible. He started sitting up more straightly, trying to move on from his small self to a more confident one, just to show Eleonora that he meant what he said.

“Good.” Eleonora said with a bigger smile as she nodded approvingly.

“It’s just I am so new in all of this, so new in relationships. I sometimes don’t know what to do or how to fix things.” Elia said rubbing his forehead with a sigh.

“That’s okay. Even if you know relationships you mess up and you can argue without one of you messing up too. What’s important is that you talk. If you talk openly you can get through everything. Trust me, I know.” She said with her head tilted a little and ended her words with a warm smile.

Elia understood how her and Gio got along; how Eleonora was a mom friend too because two seconds ago she was ready to deck Elia for hurting her brother and now she was being understanding and sweetly giving advice. And now, he didn’t feel as lost because he had no experience. The care he had for Filo and Elia wanting to make it work was all that needed. He also knew that if he didn’t talk to Filo like right now Eleonora might end him for it.

“Thank you. Truly Ele…this means a lot and helps a lot.” Elia said with a small smile.

“Always.” Ele said shrugging and leaning back on her chair. “Still, if you hurt Filo I will come for you.” She said pointing her finger at Elia with a smirk.

Elia chuckled while giving out a breath which made Eleonora chuckle too. As they chuckled looking at each other across the table Elia felt that warm feeling he had with Nicco just yesterday. It was super nice. And it was also super nice to have the approval of Eleonora Sava.

“By the way, how are you? After everything.” Elia asked with knitted eyebrows as he switched his little relaxed self to again a worried one.

And Elia didn’t know why it took him so long to ask Eleonora this even before today. Guess, he didn’t feel they were friends enough for Elia to ask him about something so delicate and personal.

Eleonora ran an anxious hand through her hair but she was also smiling a little while she did that.

“What happened doesn’t just go away even after all these months and sometimes I am on the edge too much.” She said with a sigh and added immediately, “But it’s a big relief that he got what he deserved. Makes me sleep better at nights.” she added with a half-smile.

“It makes all of us sleep better at nights.” Elia said with a half-smile of his own.

He tried to mean it like Elia and others were sharing Eleonora’s feelings; that she wasn’t alone in anything. Saying anything else seemed like no help at all. Elia thought that was the only thing he could do, show a little support for his sister-in-law.

Eleonora nodded with a bigger smile spreading through her face as a reply. Elia looked at her and smiled in a bigger way too. The two of them sat and smiled at each other in a thankful way for all the support from the other.

A few seconds later in between their smiles and the warm atmosphere, somebody else approached their table. It was Sana. She must have seen them smiling or felt their mood so when she came next to them she had big smile plastered on her face too.

“Sorry I’m late. I stopped to pray on the way.” Sana said as she greeted Eleonora with a kiss on the cheek. Then, she sat down next to Eleonora and greeted Elia with a little nod.

“I didn’t know you believed, Elia.” Sana added pointing at Elia’s cross necklace that was hanging above his sweatshirt as she settled down in her seat.

Elia shared a look with Eleonora and then he touched his necklace with a smile.

“I believe in my own way.” Elia answered looking at Sana with that same smile.

“Well, we all believe in our own way.” Sana said raising her eyebrows and shrugging at the same time.

Elia looked in between Eleonora and Sana and prayed to his God that Filo would accept his apology and they would go back to how they were even more strongly. He desperately prayed for that holding onto his necklace. 

* * *

**Domenica 16:24 - Things Don’t Have To Be Hard**

Elia stood in front of the Sava house’s door with his hands all sweaty. He took in a few deep breaths and tried to dry his hands up by rubbing them on the side of his black jeans. His talk with Eleonora yesterday was the last push he needed and Eleonora already knew. So, no more hesitation at just knocking on his door. Or so he thought. Okay, he wasn’t hesitating more like nervous and it was weird for Elia because before Filo he basically got everyone he wanted with just one word or one look. Now though, he needed to do a long talk that he didn’t know how it would be received.

Elia tried fixing his hair. Then, he grabbed his necklace and rubbed the cross between his fingers as took in another deep breath. Slowly, with a shaky hand he reached for the door bell and rang it. He was, hearing his heart beat inside of his ears as he waited somebody to open the door. What was actually a few seconds of waiting felt more like hours to Elia.

It was Eleonora who flung opened the door. The moment she realized it was Elia who was the door a cheeky smile appeared on her face. She took a step to the side and opened the door even more to let Elia walk past her. Elia flashed her a big smile and he stepped through the door. As he rushed through the corridor into the living room Elia was hearing Filo talk with somebody, from the voice he was guessing it was Edoardo.

The moment he stepped into the room he felt the air being sucked out of his lungs. He stopped in his track as his eyes met with Filo’s who stopped talking abruptly at the sight of Elia too. That caused Edoardo, who had his back turned to Elia, turn around confusedly and look at Elia.

Filo got up, again abruptly and took a few steps towards Elia and then, stopped in the middle of the room. Elia gulped down and stared at Filo with his feet being stuck in their place. Just how waiting at the door felt like forever to Elia this past week where he didn’t see Filo at all felt more than a week to him. God the way he just missed seeing Filo in front of him, not even kissing or touching but the mere sight of him. And in only a week he had changed. Elia noticed his hair was a little longer and that Filo got himself a new earring.

Fuck it, Elia thought. All in. And so he confidently took a few more steps towards.

“Look, I am so sorry. I am going to explain everything and apologize the whole day but I have to do something else first.” Elia said as he covered the last bit of distance between them.

Once he was right in front of Filo, he grabbed Filo’s face and pulled Filo into a kiss. A millisecond later Filo gave into the kiss too, wrapping his arms around Elia’s back. God, the way he missed how Filo kissed him. It was sweet and like he was starving for it at the same time.

When they broke apart, Elia gave out the biggest breath in relief as Filo caressed his cheek.

“Excuse me, when did this happen?” Edoardo asked with his mouth open and a scowl.

Elia and Filo both looked at him with a tiny chuckle as Eleonora who was watching from the other side walked over to her boyfriend.

“We were going out right, Edo?” She said trying to grab Edoardo’s arm and pull him up.

“No, wait. I want to see what’s going on.” Edoardo said resisting to get up.

“Edo!” Eleonora said pulling on his arm as both Elia and Filo watched the couple with a smile on their faces.

Finally, Edoardo gave in and followed Eleonora out the room while she kept on dragging him by his arm.

“How did I miss this? I thought we were brothers Filo.” Edoardo shouted as he left the room.

Elia chuckled a little watching after them. Edoardo really had big contrabbandieri material in him. When he turned to face Filippo again he found him laughing too and biting his lip. Admittedly, Elia didn’t expect this kind of positive atmosphere, reaction this quickly.

“Filo-“ Elia started reaching to hold his hand but he was cut in.

“Look, it’s okay-“ Filo tried to stop him but this time Elia cut in.

What was up with people not letting him apologize? First Luca, now Filo.

“No. We need to talk. I have so many things to say.” Elia said nodding as he squeezed Filo’s hand.

Filo nodded and led him to the couch still holding his hand. They sat across of each other as Elia held Filo’s hand in his and rubbed it. He was craving for any sort of physical contact with Filo. What surprised Elia was that the physical contact he craved wasn’t only a sexual one. He just wanted to feel Filo’s presence next to him.

“You were right.” Elia said shaking his head up and down.

“Of course.” Filo said with a tiny smirk. “Continue.” he added tilting his head to the side.

“I completely overreacted. It was about me and not only us. I did a similar thing at school for Luca and I know now that there is a lot I need to work on.” Elia added with a relieved sigh.

“I like where this is going so far.” Filo said resting his head on the back of the couch while squeezing Elia’s hand again.

A smile appeared on Elia’s face upon Filo’s words.

“I thought the only way I could protect the people I love was to throw punches. I know that’s not the case anymore. I thought I needed to prove myself but I know I have already done a lot for my friends. I thought I needed to be a good man and that a good man is always angry, is always fighting. Now, I know those don’t make you a good anything and I just am trying to be a good person. I thought I had to fight with the hate the world throws at us but I know now I just need to focus on the one person that matters. You.” Elia said and breathed out deeply after giving this long monologue. “What I mean is, I am really sorry and I want to work on all these with you.” He added and looked up, being sure of himself, at Filo who was listening him carefully.

Filo, instead of replying with his words reached in and gave Elia an equally long and sweet and comforting kiss. As the kiss went on Elia was still holding onto Filippo’s hand. When they broke apart they rested their foreheads together for a second and that felt like the most peaceful place on earth for Elia.

“Looks like you had a really big and long learning experience.” Filo said with a grin as their foreheads still touched.

“That’s what I said!” Elia said laughing as he threw his head back.

“I am glad you figured all this out. Not for us only but for yourself.” Filo said with an understanding look passing through his eyes.

“Well, a lot of people helped.” Elia said with a shrug. “And I am just glad you took me back and I don’t intend to fuck up again and even if I do, I’ll come talk to you and I am not going anywhere I-

This time Filo cut in Elia’s rambling with another kiss. It fell more on the deep side of a kiss and it felt almost like a promise from Filo.

“I am not going anywhere either. You can’t get away from that easily Santini.” Filo said in between their kiss.

Once he was done with his reassurance he rubbed Elia’s cheek with his thumb and leaned in for another kiss. This one didn’t last as long because Elia put a hand on Filo’s chest and pulled back his face.

“Wait. So are we okay?” Elia asked with slitted eyes in an unsure tone.

Filo slided his hand from Elia’s face down to Elia’s arm and gave it a little rub.

“We are okay.” Filo replied with a little smirk. “I know I should have answered your texts but I needed some time for myself to think about what I want. And I want you.” Filo said keeping his smirk. “With your everything.” He pointing all over Elia with his hands.

Elia reached in and gave Filo a kiss between the edge of his lip and cheek. It was just a little kiss packed with a lot of meaning and relief.

“I thought this was going to be harder like I was going to have to apologize for days.” Elia said with a little scoff as he bit his lip.

He truly thought like this which was another reason he waited this long to come to the one place he knew he would find Filo, his house. He thought they were going to argue again and Elia was going to have to try for days for Filo to forgive him and take him back. That’s why he prepared that speech beforehand.

“Your friends go through so many relationship dramas that I think you forget things don't have to be that hard.” Filo said with a big grin.

Yeah, well that was true. The only relationships Elia observed were his mom’s and dad’s which ended with a mess and then Gio and Eva which again ended through a mess and Marti and Nicco who fought for weeks to be together…so yeah.

“They are your friends now too.” Elia said with a similar grin and flipped off Filo.

“Look at me, Filippo Sava. Dating and befriending high schoolers.” Filo said with a chuckle. Then, he leaned forward to put his head on Elia’s shoulder.

A month ago this remark might have bothered Elia a lot. Maybe he would have obsessed over it thinking Filo didn’t actually want him or Filo had a problem with Elia being younger but now that he felt secure in the relationship, he didn’t. He understood it like the joke it was. Elia was more than sure of their relationship. More than sure.

“What can I say? My people are cooler than yours.” Elia shot back with a cocky smile as he ran a hand through Filo’s pink hair.

This time Filo flipped him off and Elia started to laugh. The warm feeling from yesterday, from the day before was now multiplied. It spread through his heart to his stomach and then everywhere. He felt like he was in one of those superhero movies where they were glowing inside out.

Elia grabbed Filo’s face with his two hands and pulled him into a deep kiss. Thank God, Ele and Edo were out so Elia knew they wouldn’t be interrupted. They kept on kissing and kissing and kissing… Things really weren’t and didn’t have to be that hard. And it was all thanks to Filippo fucking Sava. His Filo. There he was being a sappy romantic again.

* * *

**Lunedi 11:58 - You Know**

It was the break time. That Monday Elia didn’t find the classes that boring. He was just getting the day by with a seemingly stupid smile on his face. If he saw anybody smiling like that every second of the day he would definitely make fun of them but here he was laughing at everything. He had literally turned into Luca. But he couldn’t help it. After a week of having hard conversations with friends and not knowing where he stood with Filo, he was finally fine with everyone. And especially with Filo who was the reason behind that stupid smile.

He was sitting on the window sill with Eva. She had her back against the wall as she sat with her legs crossed. Elia had his back turned against the window as his legs dangled down.

“If I didn’t know your secret I would ask if you were in love.” Eva said with a cheeky laugh.

It wasn’t that Eva was saying something so crazy but it was that even though Elia had been wondering the extent of his feelings for Filippo he never actually said it out loud. Not to anyone, not to himself. So Eva’s little joke made his face fully turn red which never happened before Filippo.

“Oh, shut up!” Elia said rolling his eyes jokingly as he felt his hands getting sweaty.

Eva looked at him with a big smile and then she bursted out laughing again. She looked out the window and brushed her hair out of her face. Elia was still feeling his cheeks burning so he tried hitting himself lightly on the face to come to himself. He was feeling too hot, wondering about didn't the fact that he got so flustered over the mention of “l-o-v-e” proved that he might be feeling it. God. He was just about to take of his jacket and stand just in a t-shirt when he spotted the little bisexual flag pin Eva gave him. Despite like four people in their friend group knowing, Elia and Filippo were still keeping things quiet so the pin, for now, stayed inside the jacket.

Elia part wanting to shift the subject and part wanting to thank Eva for it again, bumped Eva on the knee and turned the inside of his jacket to her. It took her a second just to spot what Elia was showing. When she spotted the pin her laugh from before turned into a more soft but still a big smile.

“You know you can only come out to me once.” Eva said with that soft smile.

“Who says that?” Elia asked with a soft chuckle.

Their eyes met in between the smile and Elia hoped that Eva somehow got the telepathic bond of his and Gio’s so that she was understanding just how thankful Elia was for her support. And maybe she did because she shook her head up and down almost meaning something like ‘always’.

And that was the moment Gio and Marti came skipping down the stairs. First, Gio gave Elia a fist bump and he moved down a couple of steps, going next to Eva. She tried to give him a kiss but Gio only turned his cheek. Meanwhile, Marti stood next to him and gave Elia a fist bump. Elia’s eyes trailed from Marti to Gio and Eva. He couldn’t help but notice some kind of weird coldness in their interaction. Also, Elia couldn’t help but notice how Gio was averting his eyes from Marti’s way. It wasn’t like Eva and Marti weren’t noticing this too because Eva’s smile from before had wiped off and Marti was awkwardly standing next to him instead of taking a seat. Elia sighed and looked between the other three people again.

“Marti, you owe me an espresso.” Elia said turning his head towards Marti.

“No, I don’t.” Marti said objecting while throwing his hands up.

“Yes, you do.” Elia said strictly and warning look in his eyes while putting on an all-knowing smirk.

Marti groaned and this time threw his head back:

“But I just came here.”

“Come on.” Elia replied putting a hand on Marti’s shoulder, basically pushing him forward. He shot a glance at Gio who was slightly smiling at this exchange. “Take Eva with you too.” Elia said pointing at her.

“Hey!” Eva objected in a similar manner with Marti throwing her hands up.

“Eva, pleaseeee!” Marti said jokingly begging and shaking his clasped together hands up and down, again adding onto the begging.

“Fine.” Eva said groaning. She jumped down from the window sill holding onto Gio’s shoulders. The moment she moved to jump down Gio grabbed one of her hands to let her land more easily. It wasn’t even that high but Elia guessed Eva just wanted to try to be close to Gio as much as possible. Elia always liked their physical harmony. Even when they argued, they walked in the same steps; they had their little routines. It’s something he aspired to have with Filo. Eva and Marti left a second later while Gio and Elia watched after them. There was no bye to Gio from Marti, no asking if Gio wanted anything and definitely no kiss from Eva to Gio.

Gio hopped up and settled down next to Elia with a sigh.

“So, how’s it going?” Elia asked forcing Gio to look at him who was still watching the stairs even though Eva and Marti had disappeared from sight.

“Great.” Gio replied with a smile that Elia was finally able to read as fake. About three months ago he felt like he couldn’t read and understand Gio anymore and he then, realized that he was never good at seeing Gio’s fake smiles anyway. So, it felt really rewarding to spot one now.

“Come on, I sent them away. You can talk to me.” Elia said hitting Gio lightly on the shoulder.

Gio turned his head to face Elia with a sigh. They shared one of their telepathic looks. Elia opened his eyes big and nodded once again saying, without a word, to Gio, ‘come on.’

Gio threw his head back with a sigh:

“I am not mad at Marti. I mean it’s Martino, it’s Marti.” Gio said with the most delicate voice ever followed by another sigh, this time closing his eyes. “And it’s been so long and we’ve all been through a lot and I am with Eva again.” He added as he rubbed his face. “But it’s just so frustrating.”

“Yeah.” Elia said sighing too, joining on his friend’s frustration. And in the back of his mind, he thought, ‘I knew he wouldn’t be mad at Marti’.

“I see why Marti did what he did. He explained everything and I know he feels so bad so I feel bad so I can’t say anything….” Gio paused and turned his face to Elia. “But it sucked. You remember, I learned it from a random person.”

“Yeah, I remember.” Elia said mentally slapping himself for not being too helpful with his comments. But then again, him sending Marti and Eva away, giving Gio a space for ranting about his feelings-that was helping too. See, Elia’s role.

And fuck, he remembered. It really did suck, like having to drown Giovanni in booze for three nights straight sucked. As Filippo said, his friends went through so much relationship drama.

“And with Eva. I know she was just trying to be a good friend to Marti by keeping his secret but it brought back old things.” Gio said looking down at his feet again. “I know it shouldn’t because we’ve moved past that and she is looking past every mistake I made before but yeah…” Gio trailed off with a sigh.

Elia felt the need to comfort so threw an arm around Gio’s shoulder:

“You are Giovanni fucking Garau but you are human too! You can be frustrated with Marti. And if there’s anything I learned this past week it’s best just to talk about things. Tell Marti and Eva how you are feeling. They would understand you too.” Elia said casually with a small smile.

Gio looked up at him with a tiny smile of his own:

“Glad you finally learned that.” He said cheekily first and Elia hit him on the head. “Thank you. You know, sometimes, you can be the mom friend of the group as well.” He ended with his smile switching to a smirk.

Elia dropped his arm down from Gio’s shoulder and shook his hand in front of him:

“No, no. I am the fun uncle friend.” He said which made Gio chuckle a little. Succes, Elia thought.

They sat in silence for a few seconds before Elia realized that he hadn’t talked to Gio about Filippo or more likely how Gio knew about him and Filippo. He glanced at Gio’s face and gulped down. Even if Gio knew Elia was still a bit nervous. He thought about the pin stuck inside his jacket. He touched the pin first and then touched his cross necklace as he took a deep breath.

“So, you know?” Elia said in a meaningful tone.

Gio turned his head to Elia with a confused smile:

“Yeah, that’s what we’ve been talking about Elia.”

Elia waited a for a second before replying. He looked right at Gio’s eyes and gulped down again. Then, with a tiny and shy smile he said:

“You know.”

After that it didn’t even take one second for Gio to figure out what he was referencing. Gio’s eyes softened, his eyebrows fall down a little and his eyes started to shine. Elia knew that expression too well. It was like only reserved for the contrabbandieri. Elia couldn’t help but smile more at the sight of Gio’s face and Elia’s eyes started to shine too.

“Well, I can’t believe somebody made Elia Santini settle down.” Gio said with a shrug and a big smile.

Elia shyly chuckled. God, he couldn’t believe how shy Filo made him. Then, he slightly hit Gio in the back of his head.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He asked to Gio.

“Because you didn’t say anything.” Gio said with another shrug and then, he hit the back of Elia’s head too. After a beat, Gio asked in his careful manner, “So you and Filippo, are you two okay?”

“More than okay.” Elia answered with his stupid grin from the morning coming back (as Eva’s question echoed in his brain). Gio only replied with a smile and a nod to this.

“You chose good by the way.” Gio said with a side smirk.

Elia looked at him and shook his head from left to right with a smile. Now, he understood just how Marti felt last year and it was a fucking good feeling. Of course he knew Gio would be the most accepting and supporting person ever because they had been through a similar thing with Marti. Still, living through that feeling of love and acceptance and support was indescribable. There was something in the way Gio looked at him. It was a combination of saying ‘I am proud of you.’, ‘You are doing good.’, ‘Thank you for telling me even though you didn’t actually.’ And somehow without saying anything else, Gio was saying everything Elia didn’t even know he needed to hear.

This time, Gio threw an arm over his shoulder and ruffled Elia’s short hair a bit before grabbing the back of Elia's neck and giving him a little shake. Elia looked at Gio with a big smile and with his eyes shining even more. He felt like he was glowing again and this time it was so much of a glow that it felt like he was brightening up the whole school. 

* * *

**Mercoledi 17:01 - Counting**

Elia walked in through Diego’s door with a big smile on his face because of the person he knew was waiting inside. The weather was unusually, for this season, warm and sunny as if it was trying to match with Elia’s mood. Everything he did and thought of, he couldn’t believe himself. Even jokingly, he never used to point out these connections and now he couldn’t help but do. That’s the Filo, effect he thought as he made his through the place.

Gio was busy taking an order and Elia didn’t want to order just yet, he only wanted to see Filo. So, he greeted Gio with only a nod, accompanied by a big smile. Gio in return greeted him with a big smile too and pointed at somewhere with his eyes. Elia followed Gio’s eyes and saw that they were leading to Filo sitting on a table by himself. Filippo had already spotted Elia and he was smiling with a twinkle in his eyes as he looked at Elia.

Elia basically ran, though he tried to make it into more of a power walk, up to Filo’s table. Elia had to physically hold himself from just grabbing Filo by the face or the nape of his neck and pull him into a kiss. The way Filo was looking at him with some kind of hunger in his eyes as he licked and then bit his lips suggested that Filo wanted to kiss Elia just as much.

So, after a second of awkwardly standing over Filo, Elia dropped his bag to the floor and took the seat across of Filo. Filippo kept biting his lip through a smile and Elia felt his knees give up. He was truly glad that he was sitting down. A few seconds later, Filo shook his head as if he was trying to focus.

“So, shall we count?” Filo said with a smirk and Elia gave him a confused smile.

“Count what?” Elia asked trying to figure out what his boyfriend was thinking about.

“Giovanni figured it out. Nicco figured it out. Ele figured it out. Edo knows.” Filo counted on his fingers keeping the same smirk. “I told Silvia.” he said pointing at himself. “You told Eva.” he added pointing at Elia.

Yeah, that was basically it. They were really in a secret relationship. The secret relationship part being in quotation marks.

“In our defence…” Elia started trying to hold down a laugh. “Gio saw us in the street, Nicco caught us making out, Eleonora barged in on us and I kissed you in front of Edoardo.” Elia said with an amused tone.

“Which only means we suck at hiding this.” Filo said with a grin that read as ‘you only proved my point’.

“Or we have really, really smart friends.” Elia suggested with a shrug and raised eyebrows.

Filo laughed and shook his right hand from side to side to mean, ‘no, no’:

“Definitely the first one.” He said in between his laugh.

Well, to be fair Elia did have pretty smart friends but in this case it was all their stupidity in which they didn’t think through everything they did.

In between their casual talk and jokes that seemed close to the comfortableness Elia envied in his friend’s relationships he felt something rise in his chest. Elia was taking in this moment and how happy he felt after everything when Eva came up to their table. She was holding two cups with their lids off. She placed them on the table very slowly and carefully as she smiled brightly.

“A treat for the new couple…” She said holding in a chuckle. “…from the handsome barista.”

Elia and Filo looked at Eva and then to each other before focusing on their individual cups of coffee. Both of them had heart shaped foams on them which made Elia roll his eyes so hard. One downside of his friends knowing about him and Filo was going to be the constant teasing. In fairness, he might have deserved it after all the teasing he did to them.

“Gio had been experimenting with foam making.” Eva said now full on chuckling.

Elia and Filippo both looked at each other at the same time and in perfect harmony they looked over at Gio at the counter and flipped him off. Gio saw them so he laughed, shaking his curls and waved at them happily. With that Elia and Filo were laughing a little too. Elia looked at Gio again to see that he had diverted his attention from Elia and Filippo to Eva. Elia watched Eva and Gio’s warm gazes at each other and realized that the coldness from the day before was gone. Fuck yes, he thought.

“You two seem better.” Elia said with a sincere smile and Eva turned back to him.

“We had a long talk yesterday upon somebody’s advice.” Eva said with a smirk giving a meaningful glance at Elia. “And he talked with Marti before that.”

Elia really had been on a streak. Not only did he manage to fix his own relationship but he also gave relationship advice. Who was he really?

“Look who is giving out relationship advice.” Filo said with an amused smile echoing Elia’s thoughts. Maybe he had his own telepathic connection with Filo too.

“I picked up one or two things.” Elia said looking at Filippo with a similarly amused smile that also hold another deep meaning showing how thankful he was that they were fine again.

Filo smiled and looked down and then, looked back at Elia with an even bigger smile. Like Eleonora said, he somehow, really not knowing how, got Filo flustered.

“You two are so cute.” Eva said with a laugh as her long red hair dangled around.

Elia moved his eyes from Filo to Eva with another kind of teasing smirk plastered on his face:

“Not as cute as you and Gio, I suppose.” he said.

“Well, you see…” Eva started getting fake serious as she held her head high up. “…we are more like the ‘parents’.” They really weren’t but it was a running joke between the boys and the girls, the one Marti hated. “Mature and deeply in love.” She finished off with a small smirk.

As soon as she said that last sentence Elia and Filo turned their heads to each other in an instant. Elia was about to tease her but Filo looked at him with a grin and shook his head. It was almost like Filo was saying, ‘I got this one.’. Okay, they did have their own telepathic bond and Elia was enjoying it so freaking much.

“Did you just…?” Filo asked trailing off with the biggest grin ever.

Eva understood what Filo meant the moment the sentence came out of his mouth. Her eyes got so big as she clasped her hands over her mouth. At the sight of that Filo and Elia bursted out laughing. Her eyes literally screamed ‘fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck’.

“Looks like you have something to say to Giovanni.” Filo said managing to stop his laughter.

“Shut up!” Eva said and turned around with a whim leaving ‘the new couple’ alone with their laughter.

“See how it feels!” Elia called after her now, finally stopping laughing.

As much as he was teasing, Elia was really glad to see Gio and Eva happy; to see them come to this point again in a better way. Now that, Elia was happily in a relationship too he wanted everyone around him to be happy like that especially his best friends. Cue in, sappy Elia.

“How what feels?” Filo asked with a suspicious smile and now it was time for Elia to panic.

He tried to keep his cool because he was Elia and managed not to give away a full on panic like Eva did. He paused for a second trying to come up with something. Anything but the real reason worked because after just being okay again Elia didn’t want to take the biggest step ever. Also, he didn’t know just what he felt yet. Sure, he felt something more, something bigger and stronger but he wasn’t ready to put a name on it. He was just content with how they were right now.

“Nothing, nothing.” Elia managed to let out casually as he tried to smile convincingly.

Filo eyed him for a second and Elia wondered if their little telepathy enabled Filo to read him. He hoped to God, not right now.

“Whatever you say Santini.” Filo answered with a grin and warm eyes. “But you are not as slick as you think.” He added with his grin getting bigger and his warm eyes getting warmer.

Elia rolled his eyes at him endearingly with a little relieved breath and then, obviously, he flipped of Filippo. Filo looked at him with a similar fondness and the two of them smiled at each other for a moment. After that, they both slowly put their hands on the table. Elia glanced at Filo's face and then their hands. Bit by bit their fingers got closer to each other. It was like a competition and they were waiting for somebody to gave in. Finally, Filo was the one to gave in. Filippo extended one finger and gently grazed Elia’s fingers which made Elia’s heart skip a beat.

But the excitement and nervousness couldn’t last long because literally two seconds later Marti dropped down to the seat beside Filippo and Nicco took the seat next to Elia. Elia and Filo shared a little smile before they pulled their hands from the table. Elia saw Nicco notice what was going on and he knew Nicco was giving both of them a smile.

“I haven’t had any caffeine all day! Can you believe?” Marti said with a groan as he threw his head back. Elia smiled at his friend sharing his distress over caffeine deprivation.

“Our coffee machine is broken.” Nicco provided an explanation looking at his boyfriend with a fond smile. It was similar to the smiles Filo gave Elia.

“Is this your way of asking for a new coffee machine?” Filippo asked with a jokingly accusatory tone.

“I already gave you a housewarming present!” Elia objected leaning back on his chair.

Somebody was about to make another joke when they were interrupted by the loud noises coming from the counter. The three of them turned their heads to meet with an overly-excited Luca giving his orders to Gio in the most animated way ever as Gio laughed his ass of. Two seconds later, Silvia entered the cafe and walked over to Luca to give him a little peck on the lips. Then came Federica who threw one arm around Silvia’s and one arm around Luca’s shoulder as she recited her order to Giovanni. Shortly, after Eleonora and Sana entered through the door deep in a conversation. A minute later their previous little table with two chairs turned into a collection of three tables and lots of chairs as everybody talked over one another.

Elia didn’t have problems with his family like Gio did. Even when he was cold with his father, he would never raise a hand to him like Gio’s father, and he certainly wasn’t Marti’s father as he was still in the picture. He had Irene and as much as they annoyed him he had his other cousins too. Still, this table filled with all the people Elia wouldn’t normally think of bringing together felt some kind of family to him too. These were the people that chose to have Elia there. It was powerful and it felt so good to know that he had them and they they weren’t letting Elia go.

A minute later Gio and Eva approached the table both carrying trays filled with the orders of their friends. For a moment, they forgot that they were carrying spill hazards, that they were in the middle of a cafe, that all their friends were watching and they leaned in for a deep and long kiss. At that sight, Elia couldn’t help but look over at Filo who was already watching him. As much as he wanted to kiss Filo here like that too he wasn’t going to push Filo not after he opened up a little, not after last week. So, he shot a warm smile at Filo who slowly but surely smiled warmly back at him.

* * *

**Giovedi 16:28 - I Am Ready**

Elia was teamed up with Luca, as usual, going against Marti and Gio in gitoni. And as usual Elia and Luca were winning. Elia didn’t know how but somehow Luca and him had a superpower which was to keep beating Marti and Gio.

Another win for the Elia and Luca team caused very loud cheers from the two of them. Elia and Luca smiled and high-fived while Marti and Gio fake-pouted as Gio hit Marti in the back of his neck.

“Marti we’ve been playing this shit together for years. How does this keep happening?” Gio said with a laugh and facepalm.

“Fuck if I know.” Marti said pushing Gio from the side.

“It’s nothing about you.” Luca said with a loud chuckle. “You just can’t stand against our power.” He added and turned to Elia for another high-five.

Elia high-fived Luca with a satisfied laugh and then, proceeded to flip off both Marti and Gio. He was going to say something teasing too but he suddenly spotted a familiar head of pink hair coming to them. Elia’s whole focus was on Filo now, watching his boyfriend come close with the brightest smile. Filippo had on a sly smile plastered on his face. Filo knew they were there and guess, he wanted to hang with them (with Elia) just like yesterday.

Luca spotted Filo too and waved at him with a big smile which made Marti and Gio turn around. But before Elia or any of the boys could say anything Filo walked right at Elia. He grabbed Elia’s face and pulled Elia into a deep kiss. After getting over the initial shock, Elia too forgot where he was standing and who he was standing there with and he gave into the kiss. He placed his hands at Filo’s back and moved them gently. His mind wasn’t really processing what was happening but there was no way he would be able to resist Filo’s kiss.

Only when they broke apart with big smiles and Elia looked into Filo’s glowing eyes (with a twinkle) he started hearing the cheering going on around them. Gio was clapping hardly as he ‘woohood’ and Luca was literally beaming, jumping up and down. Marti with his gaping mouth was another story. He had his eyes so open that it looked like they were going to pop off.

“YEAAAAH!” Gio shouted loudly and gave Filo an almost congratulatory high-five.

“FINALLY!” Luca shouted and jumped really high. Elia and Filo and Gio snapped their heads to this reaction.

“Wait, you knew too?” Elia asked with the most surprised voice with his hand still holding onto Filo.

Seriously? What the fuck and how the fuck?, Elia thought.

“For somebody in a secret relationship you trust me with your phone too much.” Luca said shaking his head with a laugh.

This only made Gio burst out laughing and Filo to look at Elia with a warmer look in his eyes and his sly smile. Filo was definitely going to keep teasing Elia about this. Elia went in for another kiss, just a quick peck on the lips. When they broke apart again Elia asked Filo, ‘What?' with his eyes and Filo just shrugged.

“I am ready.” Filippo whispered into Elia’s ear with a smirk.

So, waiting and respecting your boyfriend’s wishes did work. Glad to know, Elia thought. He couldn’t believe how fast things got back onto track. Filo’s words echoed in his mind, _“...things don't have to be that hard.”_ Most of all, he was just glad he would be able to kiss and hold hands and do everything physical with Filo in front of his friends. He really did wanted to show Filippo off.

Elia was about to go in for another peck on the lips maybe a longer kiss depending on the situation but he couldn’t because Marti screamed, almost at the top of his lungs:

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” while throwing his hands up crazily.

Elia did have a lot of explaining to do to Marti and Marti would surely question him hard.

Gio doubled down laughing, Luca had tears in his eyes from all the laughs while Filippo, just to mess with Marti, pulled Elia by the collar of his t-shirt into another kiss. As Elia smirked into his kiss with Filo, he was hearing the laughs of his best friends. And yeah, Elia could get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked itttt! Let me know what you think!
> 
> Honestly, this chapter might as well be called 'EVERYBODY KNOWS'!
> 
> it just seemed so funny to me as a concept that everybody would know because Elia and Filippo are so focused on each other that they forgot to be so careful. 
> 
> I really loved the parts with Nicco and Ele <3 I think in the future Elia and Eleonora would hang out more! And the part at the cafe with everybody coming and all of them talking over each other and laughing. And Elia's thoughts reminds of this quote from Skamit Season 3 : "But what is a family? To me, it’s everything that makes you feel safe. Everything you can always count on..."
> 
> Come talk to me on my tumblr : @youleavebehindmemories 
> 
> and take care everyone!


	8. Chapter 8 : Thank You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Hope you are all doing well! Please wherever you are follow the self-isolation and self-quarantine rules! And stay safe! Now that the PSA is over let's continue.
> 
> So, this isn't exactly how I planned to update this fic. Meaning I didn't want to delay chapters, I wanted to upload once a week. But I am sure as you all are aware we are in a global crisis. And while I have a lot of free time with being at home 24/7 and my university not starting online classes yet, with everything going on in the world it's hard to focus. Still, this fic is like my escape and safe and happy place. I really love these characters and care about them so much. That's why this chapter has a relatively light mood as I am sure we all need it. 
> 
> Anyway, I really liked writing this chapter. It has really nice and warm and funny moments filled with Elia and his connection with others. I especially loved writing the clip with Filippo and the last clip showing all the characters be happy, be friends.

**Sabato 11:34 - Fancy Brunch**

Filippo didn’t end their being public with their relationship tour with only the kisses in front of the contrabbandieri. Right now, they were at the second step which was having brunch with Filippo’s friends and Filo introducing Elia as his boyfriend. What a difference a few weeks and a couple of long talks makes, Elia thought.

Elia was sitting in a rectangular table next to Filippo with Raffaele and Elisa across them. The table was filled with all sorts of fancy food and drinks. Thankfully, he was into food and cooking so he knew most of the things, like the different types of cheese, on the table so he didn’t seem totally oblivious. Elia looked with a kind of disgust to the orange juice on the table and took a big sip of his coffee. Who would willingly drink anything else than coffee at breakfast?, he questioned.

“Do you always do this? Is this like regular for you?” Elia asked looking between Raffaele and Elisa.

Raffaele and Elisa looked at each other cockily then back to Elia.

“As the sophisticated university students we are, yes we always do this. Like every two weekends.” Elisa said shaking her blue wavy hair. Her hair was the same shade of blue as the last month, last time Elia saw her, but Elia had a feeling that just like Filo’s hair, her hair changed color frequently too.

"That seems cool.” Elia said with an impressed tone. To nobody surprise, the contrabbandieri wasn’t much for brunching.

“Let me guess…” Raffaele started with pointing his fork at Elia.”...you are more like always playing football with my friends kind of type.”

"That wasn’t a wild guess about an Italian.” Elia said with a smile. He glanced at Filo sitting next to him who was amusingly watching this little talk between his boyfriend and his best friends. 

“No, no. I got it.” Elisa said excitedly. "You are a skater, right?” She asked with a smirk that seemed to Elia like she already knew she was correct.

“Now that’s a good guess.” Elia said slowly, in a joking way, clapping his hands together.

“Well, I didn’t know you had a thing for skater boys Filo.” Raffaele said with a visible cringe and a big shrug.

“Surprises me as much as you Raf.” Filo said with a grin as he thew an arm around Elia.

Elia turned his head to Filippo and planted a little kiss on his lips as Elisa and Raffaele watched them with a smile and a collective ‘awwwh’. It was so nice, nicer than Elia ever imagined, to casually kiss Filippo in front of their friends. Not hiding anything and not having to hold himself back while their friends watched them, admiring their happiness, just like Elia did with them. That was everything.

“And you are taking Nicco there, right?” Elisa asked with a chuckle she wasn’t even trying to hold in.

“Oh, shit. I keep forgetting that you are like best friends with Nicco and Martino.” Raffaele said.

“Why are you torturing Nicco?” Filippo asked with a smirk.

Elia first looked at Filo and then to Elisa and Raffaele and answered with a smirk too.

“He’s so bad at it that it feels impossible. It’s been months and he can’t still stand on the board.” Elia said laughing through his words.

When he turned to look at Filo again he saw that Filo was watching him laugh with a big smile and warm eyes. Turned out, the player, the single Elia Santini was looking for this. To have somebody watch him fondly as he joked around in his own way in front of their friends.

“I need to see that.” Raffaele answered laughing too.

After the laughs died off a little Elisa cut in with a question of her own:

“So, they know now too?” She asked pointing at Elia with one hand and at Filippo with another.

“Yeah.” Filippo answered softly as he squeezed Elia’s leg under the table.

“And your other friends too?” Elisa kept on questioning. Elia and Filo shared a little glance, an almost shy one to which Elia wasn’t surprised at anymore. Filippo looked down at Elia’s lip and Elia was sure they were about to go in for a little kiss but another question from Elisa distracted them. “And they are okay with everything?”

Elia and Filippo shared a more somber glance as Elia sighed. Whatever the world felt like over who Elia loved, his best friends were so supportive that he kinda glossed over the fact that not all people had positive coming out stories. Meanwhile, Filo was giving an ‘are you serious?’ look to Elisa.

“I mean, we’ve been through a similar thing with Marti and those guys and everyone else they are not like that.” He briefly explained. The moment he was done he flashed a smile to Filo to show that he was okay.

“Good. And if they weren’t you could always ditch them and join us since we are cooler and all.” Elisa replied with a smug smile.

Elia smiled brightly as Filo squeezed his leg once again. No matter how much people he had by his side (from his _f ound family_-that was a saying, right?) it was always nice to know there were more people supporting him.

“Nice to know.” Elia started with an appreciative smile. “And, you might be brunch cool but you are not contrabbandieri cool.” He added with a shrug as he leaned back on his chair.

“Awwwh, you have a nickname for yourselves.” Raffaele said with a chuckle. Elia didn’t know if he was making fun of them or if Raffaele really thought it was nice that they had a nickname but he laughed anyway.

“No, no, no. We are not getting a nickname for ourselves too.” Filo jumped in shaking his hands and head crazily. Elia started to laugh at this sight. This was probably a conversation they had before.

Filippo knew a lot about contrabbandieri through Marti and Nicco at first and now through Elia. He knew how Elia was around his friends way before they started dating. But, Elia was just getting to see how Filippo was around his friends and it was fun to see him be this carefree and joke around and all. After all, he wanted to see every version of Filo.

“Elia-“ Elisa tried to start probably with another kinda hard question on his mind but Filo cut her short.

“Okay, leave my boyfriend alone.” Filo said throwing an arm around Elia and pulling him close. Elia didn’t resist and just smiled under Filo’s embrace. Filo definitely ran their little group, not in a bad way but yeah Filo could get them to listen to him. “Where is your girlfriend anyway? Go focus on her.”

“She is doing what you should have done a week ago. Getting the flyers ready for our next workshop.” Elisa shot back with an all knowing smile.

Okay maybe Elisa run this little group, Elia thought. Or they both did and they always clashed. It was going to be so fun for Elia to hang out with them. A side benefit would be to have countless material to mess with Filo with.

“Is that for your association? I’d like to join in for a workshop too.” Elia said casually with a smile. His general plan improving himself included getting to learn the community he was in more.

Something somebody, probably Gio said, was in his mind about how everything in life was political. And that made his literal being political too and considering like a good portion of the world hated him over his sexuality it was even more political. And, you know, maybe fighting back with the hate also came in the form of educating himself and being with other people that was receiving this hate too.

“Look how fast they grow.” Raffaele said looking at Elia with a laugh.

Elia rolled his eyes jokingly and flipped Raffaele off. Yeah, he would fit right into this group.

“Well, you are one of us now.” Elisa said with a wink and a smile shot at Elia’s way while Raffaele flipped her off this time.

Elia laughed while shaking his head and turned to Filippo who was laughing too but in a softer way. Their eyes met and Filo shook his head up and down in a nod to signal something like how great this was. Not only did it feel so good to be a part of Filo’s life more but also it was nice to see Filo in his own world and see him this happy. This brunch didn’t only mean that Elia was gaining a few new friends through his boyfriend. It also meant that Filo was trusting in him, in their relationship enough to get over some of his doubts and insecurities.

And so, Elia leaned in grabbing the back of Filo’s neck and gave a him a short but passionate kiss. Elisa and Raffaele cheered loudly in front of them disrupting the fancy brunch place and earning them a few looks. Elia could get used people cheering every time they kissed.

* * *

**Domenica 19:47 - Bon Appetit!**

It was another family dinner day and this time it was hosted by Uncle Dario and Aunt Laura. These dinners didn’t happen much over at Elia’s because they knew Elia would do most of the cooking/preparing and neither Uncle Dario nor Uncle Antonio wanted that. Whatever their loss, Elia thought of the matter.

The dinner had been going on for about twenty minutes but since it was the weekend everybody gathered there earlier, like 2 hours earlier, to help prepare and to just chat up. So, for the past, give or take, two and a half hours Elia had been perfectly dodging any conversations with Uncle Dario and dodging any topics related to the ‘fight’.

But of course, it was going to come up eventually. Elia’s only goal was to delay it as long as possible. And he managed it for about two and a half hours until Uncle Dario stopped the whole table by clinking on his beer bottle with his knife.

“Let’s raise our glasses for Elia. He finally learned to fight for his family.” Dario said with a nod and a big emphasis on ‘finally’.

Elia gulped and looked down. No, he wasn’t going to say anything. The less he cared the quicker this was over. He raised his head slightly only to meet his mother’s eyes who was sitting crosswise from him. His mother had a warning look, with one eyebrow raised, basically telling him not to say anything. He could also feel Irene’s eyes on him.

“Glad to see you finally catching up, cuz.” Christian said in a smug tone, emphasizing ‘finally’ just like his father.

Elia rolled his eyes and tried to be busy with his dinner because if he talked he would have talked more than needed to.

“Finally becoming a man, huh?” Antonio said with a clap that Dario and Christian and Pietro joined in too.

Elia, he was going to hold his tongue but it was just that it wasn’t the first time. And if he was going to be known for protecting a friend he rather be known for protecting Marti, rightfully, last year than to his complete overreaction and mistake of the past weeks.

“It wasn’t the first time.” Elia said giving out a breath. He could see his mom get annoyed that he spoke up and he would definitely hear about this later on. “I had another fight last year. Much bigger. Much messier but much more rightful.”

“Okay, should we applaud you for that?” Christian asked dismissively and Elia tried his best to ignore him. And anyway, Irene shot Christian up with a slap on the arm.

“Good, good. Let’s raise our glasses again then.” Uncle Dario said approvingly and Elia wanted to slap himself for receiving that congratulatory tone.

“No, no. I don’t want you to raise your glasses for me.” Elia said in a pissed of voice looking all over the table. "What I did last year was a bad situation. Even traumatizing for my friends. This year was a huge mistake. These don’t deserve to be congratulated.” He said scoffing in the end and focusing on Uncle Dario.

Before anybody could say anything thankfully Irene came to his help. Thank God for her really.

“Yeah, let’s drop it dad. Fighting doesn’t solve things and it’s not a matter to raise glasses at.” Irene said almost in the same pissed off voice.

“You kids don’t know anything.” Dario said dismissively shaking his hand. “Even you said your first fight was rightful. What was it about?” he asked in a challenging way as if he was sure he was going to make his point through Elia’s answer.

Fuck, here it goes Elia thought. Maybe it would be good to let it all out (and burn some bridges on the way) with his family too.

“A group of homophobic assholes came after my best friend and when confronted they started a fight. And then they came and punched him. So we did what we had to do there.” Elia said probably in his most serious tone at these dinners ever.

And to this Uncle Dario’s answer was to laugh. Elia wasn’t angry before just irritated and annoyed. He just wanted not to have this fight thing be talked and he didn’t want to be celebrated for something he was ashamed of doing, for something he knew now was wrong. But this reaction, this laughter got him boiling.

“Oh come on, that’s not a good reason.” Dario said still with a small laugh.

“What’s so funny about this?” Elia asked angrily while everybody on the table had their eyes on him.

“Look, you said they started a fight when confronted you probably took their jokes the wrong way. You know how it is, everybody jokes about _that stuff_.” Antonio explained on behalf of his brother, Dario.

“It wasn’t a joke.” Elia said gritting his teeth in the end. “It’s never a joke.” He added more angrily.

Sure, things were a little bit more personal now for Elia. But he would have said the same things, got angry in the same way if he was only doing this for Martino too.

“Maybe we should change the subject.” Miriam started trying to ease the atmosphere like always, trying to fix things after her husband Antonio and also Dario.

“Yes! Somebody on the team got sick and I finally got to play-“ Valentina tried to say in support of her mother but was cut in.

“We all joke around like that Elia. It’s no big deal. You are just easily offended.” Christian said carelessly with a shrug.

“Right, right. I am the one who got into a fight because somebody looked at my girlfriend ‘the wrong way.’ Yeah, I am the one easily offended.” Elia shot back angrily.

Sometimes he hated Christian’s guts. Christian’s little brother Pietro was still so much under the impression of his father but Christian was 17, only a year younger than Elia. He should have know better than to sound like a complete, immature jerk. And yes, Elia had been working on his anger and temper and his inclination to fighting but what’s happening on the table right now was a long time coming.

“Fuck off, Elia.” Christian said getting angry too.

“Hey! Language.” Laura, Christian's mother, jumped in. Teach him to be a decent human being before teaching him not to swear, Elia thought.

“It seems like Elia still has a long way to go.” Dario started then turned to face Elia. "Maybe you should have signed up for my fighting lessons. I also taught your cousins the philosophy of it.” he said and Elia rolled his eyes while shaking his leg up and down. He wondered what bullshit Dario fed to Christian, Pietro and Leonardo. Probably something similar to what he fed to Elia a few weeks ago. “And maybe try not to take everything so seriously. What should we do, not joke about _them_?” He said laughing at ‘ _them_.’

This in turn got Elia’s blood boiling even more. And the way Uncle Dario said ‘them’... Like even that was making fun of its own. He saw Irene sigh and roll her eyes. Their eyes met for a second and even her ‘just don’t care’ look didn’t cool him down.

“For fuck’s sake, yes!” Elia said slamming his hands on the table.

“Elia!” His mother warned but Elia didn’t listen.

“You might not be the people to bash somebody’s head in because you think they are gay but you, you are a part of the problem.” Elia said angrily. He pointed at the people on the table starting with his aunts and uncles and moving onto his dear cousin Christian.

“Seriously?” Christian said laughing, echoing his father too much. “I don’t care who fucks who.” He added with a smile that looked so annoying to Elia.

“Christian!” Laura, his mother, once again jumped in.

“You are such a jerk.” Irene said to his brother while giving him another slap on the arm.

And once again thank God for Irene really. Even though Elia knew his mother didn’t share their every thought she generally chose to stay silent to his brothers. So, having Irene who is actually more vocal than him, who is around the same age as him, who understood him was a blessing.

“Lay him off.” Dario said coming in support of his son. “When I told you to always protect your family, to be a good man I didn’t say you need to fight everybody.” Surprisingly Elia agreed with this but he knew Uncle Dario didn’t say it in the meaning Elia understood. "With the recent one, you showed those guys your friend wasn’t alone but in that one you should have known to take a joke.”

Elia laughed bitterly. It felt like they have been saying the same things over and over again, running in circles. Still nothing he was saying was getting to his uncles or others on the table.

“It’s people’s selves, identities you think you are joking about. Do you know what that does to someone?” Elia asked angrily but also confidently. He was confident in the points he was making, he was fighting against the mentality of his uncles and aunts, of his family.

“And you know that?” Antonio asked in an all-knowing tone.

Elia almost said it, almost. It was in the tip of his tongue. What did he have to lose? He wouldn’t be kicked out of the family or anything but he would endure some not so funny jokes. Mostly, though, they would act like Elia didn’t say what he said and would kept treating him like before-just ignoring a part of him.

“Yes! Through my best friends and I-“ He abruptly paused and looked at his mother who was literally begging him to stop with her big eyes. She didn’t want any fighting on the table. Never. Then, Elia looked at Irene who was listening to him carefully with her angry eyes. Fuck it. “And I have a boyfriend. I am bisexual.” He stated to the whole table which wiped off any expression from everyone’s faces. Nobody looked smug or angry or annoyed; everybody had blank faces except for Irene who had a tiny smile. “So, yes, I fucking know it.”

And with that Elia got up from his seat. Not because he wanted to run away but because his declaration deserved a cool exit.

“Bon appetit!” Elia said with a smug grin.

“And that’s another successful family dinner.” Irene said paralleling Elia’s grin as she got up from her seat too.

Elia sent a glance at Irene with a thankful nod. Then, his eyes trailed to his mother who seemed as expressionless as her brothers and sisters-in-laws. Elia really wished he had done this one-on-one with his mother. That was his only regret but underneath the blankness she still was looking at him with warm eyes so that seemed good.

And with that both Elia and Irene pushed their chairs back and walked out of the big living room/dining room. When Irene caught up to him she threw an arm around his shoulder and squeezed him tight. Elia leaned to her with a smile. Once again, thank God for Irene.

As they were walking into the corridor, Elia heard somebody else speak up.

“To quote Irene, you are all such jerks.” Leonardo said after them.

Leonardo despite being one of the oldest, he was 18, was the most silent one out of them. He never spoke up during these dinners and not like Pietro, Christian and Irene’s little brother, who didn’t speak because he was the youngest. It was just the way Leonardo was all shy and quiet. But now, when it mattered he spoke up for Elia. So yeah, that put an even bigger smile on Elia’s face and Irene’s. Maybe he did have more than Irene by his side. 

* * *

**Lunedi 12:00 - Labels**

Elia walked through the school corridor over to Luca’s classroom. Like Luca suggested he was getting creative instead of getting into meaningless fights. His new plan was to simply keep an eye on Luca and like his Uncle Dario suggested for the wrong reasons, he was going to show them Luca wasn’t alone. After the fight they were leaving him alone but still.

He entered the classroom with a smile and quickly started scanning the place. Elia spotted those asshole sitting at the middle row, in the back. They saw Elia too so Elia stood at the classroom door, leaning to the side of the door with a smile plastered on his face. Antonelli and Dentino looked at each other and both mumbled under their breath before getting up. They walked over to the door and Elia took a step inside, then, step aside to let them pass. Throughout the whole thing he was keeping a proud smile. Well, seeing Elia there really worked. He should’ve thought of this before thinking fighting was the only way to protect his best friend.

Elia then with another quick scan spotted Luca, Silvia and Eleonora sitting in the middle of the row near the windows. Luca and Silvia were next to each other with Eleonora sitting at the desk in front of them. So, Elia walked over with a bright smile and plopped down next to Ele. He felt like he was getting close to her so that he could start calling him Ele.

“Elia! Just in time.” Luca said cheerfully as he extended a fist to Elia.

Elia bumped Luca’s fist with a smile.

“We were trying to decide what to do this Friday.” Silvia explained.

“He wants one of us to magically throw a party.” Eleonora said pointing at Luca. “And she wants us to have dinner at Il Baretto and then go out to a bar.” She added pointing at Silvia.

“Count me out.” Elia said with an apologetic smile and Luca pouted. “I have a date night with your brother.” He continued looking at Eleonora with a smirk.

“It’s going to take me some time to get used to you two dating.” Eleonora replied with a smile, running a hand through her hair.

“Said the sister-in-law.” Luca said with a chuckle and Elia and Ele groaned. Even though Elia referred to her like that in his mind numerous times it felt weird to hear it out loud and also it made everything so formal and official and so adult.

“Fede is waiting for us.” Silvia said to Eleonora and both of the girls rose up from their seats. Silvia gave Luca a little kiss on the cheek before getting up which made the biggest grin appear on Luca’s face. “Decide what we are going to do before we get back.” She didn’t forget to add. 

After the girls disappeared Elia decided to help out his friend with his new-found relationship knowledge. He bumped Luca’s arm and said with a smirk:

“If you want a party, throw it yourself and tell her that you could go out to dinner when 'Elia and Filippo' is available too.” he finished by pointing at himself.

“Ah thank you!” Luca said loudly making the few heads still in the classroom turn to them.

Elia just shrugged with a smirk. Guess his new role was to help his friends get out of little or big relationship dramas/problems. Who would’ve thought? Not Elia.

Suddenly, Luca got all serious, looking a bit like an anchorman, he put his forearms on the table and clamped his hands together. Meanwhile, Elia just watched him with a scowl trying to understand where this was leading.

“So, I searched the whole weekend.” Luca said seriously and before Elia could open his mouth and ask ‘for what?’ he continued. “You’ve been together with girls before and you seemed to enjoy it. I don’t think you are like Marti or maybe you are. I know, I know it’s wrong to assume. I read that too.” He continued with his serious tone as he used his hands too much with every word.

Elia’s scowl turned into raised eyebrows, big eyes and a laughter he was trying to hold in. God, this was leading to nowhere or somewhere that is going to be so stupid.

“You can be bisexual which is like being attracted to more than one gender. Or maybe you can be pansexual which is like being attracted to someone regardless of their gender.” Luca said slowly almost pausing in between every word. It felt like Luca memorized all of this and was trying to remember. It would have been so touching for Elia if the way he was saying it wasn’t so funny.

“Or no labels. Who says you need to decide on something?” Luca offered with a smile, literally beaming, probably thinking he did a good job.

And Elia had to give it to him, he did a decent job. Especially considering how lost Luca was with every term when Marti came out to them. It looked like he really did search for the whole weekend trying to be supportive and educated. Even if it was so funny, it was pretty sweet too.

“It’s okay Luca. Thank you for your hard work.” Elia said finally laughing while shaking his head. “But I already got myself a label.” Elia stated and then paused to build up some excitement. He kept on waiting with a twinkle in his eyes as Luca got more impatient, shifting in his seat and all. “I am bisexual.” Elia cracked in the end and said.

Elia should’ve guessed what followed then. After all, he had the loudest fucking friends. First, Luca cheered and clapped loudly making the only few people left leave the classroom too. Elia didn’t really help with his loud laughter either. This was Luca just making Elia double down with laughters that echoed through the whole school with his one word. Then, Luca launched himself at Elia which kinda didn’t work because they had a desk in between them. Still, while knocking over somebody’s notebook their limbs managed to wrap and they shared a little hug, the most it could be at their position.

One difference between Elia’s extended family and the family he chose was that maybe his chosen one, including him, wasn’t always the most knowledgeable and educated people but they took every opportunity to learn. When Marti came out to them Elia started to watch what he said more, Luca spent a whole weekend searching to help Elia in his own way, Gio learned to become a better boyfriend, Silvia started realizing when she was being ignorant, all of the contrabbandieri learned to move away from stupid and immature sometimes racist jokes. They were unlike his uncles and aunts who had been on this planet for forty, fifty-something years and were still refusing to learn. Unlike Christian who was at their age who was refusing to learn.

He didn’t realize he was smiling to himself until Luca’s words disrupted his thoughts,

“Thank you too.” Luca said quietly with a smile on his own. “I know why you came here. Being creative, right?” Luca asked while bumping on Elia’s arm softly.

Luca was really smarter than Elia gave him credit for and maybe much more observant. Elia felt caught but not in a bad way. He was just trying to do something good for his best friend, after messing up, and now that friend had realized his aim.

“Right.” Elia answered with a small smile as he looked out the window. 

Thank God for Luca too. 

* * *

**Martedi 16:00 - His Name**

Elia opened the house door hoping his mother wasn’t at home. There was a high chance she was still at work, she barely got home at this hour. Yesterday, he was with the boys till late and then he brought Gio home with him. So when they came to the house, he managed to run off to his room and avoid his mother.

It wasn’t that his mother wasn’t going to support him. He knew her, of course she would. And even in a way just how Elia wanted : supportive but not making too much of a deal. But he also knew a scolding was on the way because of his behavior at the dinner. In his 18 years of going to those dinners, out of which he remembered about 12 years of it, nobody ever left the table in the middle of the dinner. Not the grown ups and definitely not the kids. Safe to say he was in trouble.

But the moment he entered the house his dreams were crushed because he started hearing the faint sound of the TV. With a sigh he dropped his bag at the door and took off his jacket. Then, with another sigh he walked into the living room.

“Hi. I’m home.” Elia said under his breath and his mom turned in her seat.

“Oh, hi. I was waiting for you.” Carina replied with a timid smile.

“I was going to say you are early.” Elia said moving on to sitting on one of the other couches after realizing he wasn’t going to get out of this conversation.

For a few seconds both of them sat in silence. His mom was shuffling in her place, playing with her hair; basically she was showing off her little quirks of being nervous. Elia sighed once again. He wanted to make things easier for her but he wanted her to start the talk more than that.

“Elia, honey….” She finally said softly while leaning forward. “…I am really sorry for what happened at the dinner.”

Well, that surprised Elia. He was waiting for a little talk about how he was wrong at everything he said at the table followed by some sweet words about how Elia had her full support.

“Mom-“ Elia tried to cut in to tell her that she didn’t need to apologize for them but she continued.

“Yes, they are family and they are my brothers but you are _my son_.” Carina said getting a little emotional at the word son which in turn made Elia a little emotional too. He gulped and she continued. “I should have looked out for you first instead of letting them fill your head with their ideas, instead of letting Dario pressure you.”

“Mom, it’s okay. Really. I am fine.” Elia said sweetly with a smile. This sweet tone only came out for his mother. “The fight, everything that happened, it had to do as much as with me as Uncle Dario."

Carina just smiled tinily at Elia and then looked down with a sigh. Elia knew his mother was going to feel guilty about this, now that she realized how their family’s words had been affecting Elia, but he didn’t think she had any blame. It was her brothers and it was like their family’s and probably most family’s way : avoiding conflict at all costs and trying to ignore what the others were saying.

His mom shook his head from side to side as if to move past from the previous topic of their talk. She then got a little more comfortable on the couch, leaning back.

“You got a boyfriend, huh?” Carina said with a big smile.

“Yeah.” Elia said with a smirk, adapting to the mood change.

“What’s his name?” Carina asked with a smirk too that looked so much similar to Elia’s.

“Filippo.” Elia replied not being able to hide the big smile that spread through his face.

“What’s he like?” His mother asked and Elia realized that they never did this conversation before. Elia had never mentioned someone he liked to his mother. Actually, he didn’t have someone he liked like this before. It was always little flings that never mattered like this to tell to his mother.

“He is in university. He is studying architecture.” Elia said to start off with the biggest information. He carefully watched his mother trying to figure out her reaction. It didn’t seem like much muscle moved on her face so Elia guessed she didn’t think that was a big deal. A pause and a breath of relief. “Filo is super into film and photography. He is like way more cultured than me.” Elia said and his mother nodded with a smile to agree with him. “And he can like keep up with all my jokes and he is even quicker with comebacks than me.” Elia finished off and only then realized he was grinning like crazy. Truly sappy.

“He sounds really cool and amazing.” Carina said with a smile.

“Well, he is my boyfriend after all.” Elia said cockily with a smirk. 

His mother chuckled at his remarks and Elia felt another breeze of relief. He was always good with his mother, always okay through all the drama and the divorce but it felt even better to not hold himself back from her. It felt good that she knew every side of him.

“It’s good that you found someone.” Carina said with a smaller but a softer smile. “At your age your friends, your boyfriend…” She added with a wink. “…the people you found, they are the most important part of your life. I come second, we come second.”

“Mom-“ Elia tried to say with a laugh but she continued with her own laugh.

And while Elia tried to object because it wasn’t like he was ignoring his mother she did have a point. Contrabbandieri had been his whole world for some time now. And now Filo was the most part of his world. And well, the girls turned out to be a part of it as well. It got him thinking about senior year and graduation and he couldn’t help but wonder whether things would change or not. Not with Filo; Elia felt secure with him. More than secure. He knew things weren’t going to knock them down easily from now on. But maybe with the boys.

“You have always been lucky in the friend department. I am just glad you found somebody who is a little bit more.” She said as her eyes shone.

“I never thought I would be dating like this but I am glad too.” Elia answered with a smile.

A year ago if somebody asked Elia whether he would be in a months long relationship right now he would have laughed at their face. Look at him now, telling his mother about his boyfriend.

After a second his mother asked cheerfully:

“Okay, now what are making for dinner?” The she grabbed the controller of the television and put on a smirk. “Or what are you making because I am perfectly fine watching some TV right now."

Maybe his little talk/lecture at the dinner got through to his mom. Maybe she would stop listening to her brothers too much too.

“I think we got some roast beef in the fridge.” Elia said getting up with a smile.

Elia thought to himself, maybe families would work better if they didn’t ignore conflict and talked through things that bothered them. But then again, what did he know? (Well, he knew a lot and this was definitely true.)

* * *

**Mercoledi 17:19 - Trust Issues**

Elia walked around the a little rummaged building following Filippo. Filo led him through a dark corridor using his phone’s flashlight and Elia kept following him with curiosity. He thought he was the one in their relationship that would bring them to ruined buildings and places, not Filippo. After a minute of walking Filippo turned around with a playful smirk while lighting his own face with the flashlight. Elia looked at him with a smirk too and shook his head. Then, Filippo turned back around and opened a door.

Elia waited for a second and went through the door after Filippo. Filippo quickly ran off near a wall and fumbled with some things. A few seconds later he pushed some buttons, Elia guessed, and the whole place lit up. Now, Elia’s curiosity had somehow faded because finally he understood where exactly Filippo took him. He looked around and saw the rows of seats, some were broken or had ripped edges. And at the end of the room, down the rows and seats stood a big screen.

Filippo gave him a smirk and started walking down. He stopped and turned around when he got to about the middle of the stairs.

“You hang out at abandoned pools. I hang out at abandoned movie theaters.” Filo said opening both his hands and showing around with a grin.

“Me going to the abandoned pool is legal. Is this?” Elia asked with a smirk as he took a few steps down.

Him and Filo were so alike so maybe it was a lie that opposites did attract. Okay, well, their tastes and interests were different but at heart and mind they were the same.

“Oh, are you afraid of a little trouble Santini?” Filo said with a laugh and a wink.

Then, he turned back around started skipping down the rest of the stairs while Elia followed him more slowly letting the distance between them grown.

“Never.” Elia replied still smirking. “So what do you exactly do here?”

“Not watching movies, obviously. We did try but I think we-" Filo paused and whispered "...Elisa-" then he continued on his normal tone."...broke what was left of the machine.” Filo answered slowly turning on his heels. “We drink and smoke and just hang out here.”

“I am down for that.” Elia said smiling and walking down, now getting closer to Filo. “My mom wants to meet you by the way.” Elia said when he came almost to the end of the stairs.

Why not, right? Introducing Filo to his mother wasn’t exactly an idea Elia was too keen on just because he didn’t want to live through the awkwardness of that but why not? Him and Filo were together-together and all their friends knew and they were not planning on breaking up in any time and his mother was super chill and excited so it started to sound like a good plan.

“I thought as long as I had the approval of contrabbandieri I was fine.” Filo replied with a laugh.

“You are more than fine.” Elia said with a smirk. “But stil…” he said trailing of and getting closer to Filo who was standing in front of the screen, like at the middle. He leaned in and gave Filippo a long, long kiss since they were alone at that theater. Filo grabbed the back of his neck and they continued making out for a while. They were so close to doing something else, something more and Elia was okay with it. After all, he wasn’t afraid of a little trouble. Yet, their common sense won and they stopped with Filippo saying:

“I would be honored.” And Elia couldn’t help but give him another kiss more to the place where his lips met with his cheeks. Once Elia pulled away Filippo started talking again. “I didn’t know you told your mother about us.” Filo said.

“Yeah, well…” Elia started taking one step back. “…it happened in a very uncomfortable family dinner.” Elia explained as vague as possible.

Sure, he got angry at the dinner and he was still angry at his uncles and Christian and his aunts but more than that he didn’t want to tell Filo about his narrow minded family.

“Define uncomfortable.” Filo said raising his eyebrows as if he was challenging Elia.

“So I have your typical, old-fashioned, obsessed with being the man, thinks it’s so funny when somebody is gay kind of uncles and aunts and a cousin.” Elia said nodding and Filo rolled his eyes with him. "At least it’s just one cousin. Remember Irene?” Elia said and Filo nodded “Irene and others, they are good.”

“Then screw the uncomfortable side of the family.” Filo offered with a big and warm smile.

“Yeah that’s what I am going with.” Elia answered with a thankful smile.

Then, a little abruptly Filo dropped down to the ground and sat down. Once he was settled he patted on the ground asking Elia to sit too. Elia rolled his eyes playfully and accepted the offer to sit down. Even before they started dating Filo knew so much about him, at least about what he did, where he hanged out, and now that he was getting to know Filo better, seeing Filo’s world Elia felt really happy. And so, Elia sat across Filippo and started looking around until Filo’s question pulled him back.

“What about your dad?” Filo asked with a smile as he leaned back with his hands behind him on the ground.

“He doesn’t know yet.” Elia answered. Then, he suddenly thought how he smoothed things with his father and how he said what he wanted to say to his family and how they were alone with no one to interrupt so this was a good time as any to open up. “You know my parents are divorced right?” he asked with big eyes.

“Yeah. I am a little lost on details though.” Filo replied with an encouraging smile.

“It’s not an interesting story. I have like the trauma of about forty percent of every kid ever.” Elia said with half-smirk.

“I have it on good authority that you make a lot of regular things interesting.” Filo said with a smile and raised eyebrows as he shifted in his place, getting a little closer to Elia.

Elia shook his head with a smile that he couldn’t help but have formed on his face and started to explain:

“I was 13 when I caught my father cheating on my mother. He talked to me and I shut my mouth. A week later I caught him again.” Elia explained and he realized that he had been talking about this to someone, other than his father like two weeks ago, for the first time in years. Gio and Marti had learned just after everything happened and Luca, he picked up the story from the three other boys. It felt good to tell all this to someone, especially to Filo because he didn’t want to hold anything back.

“Your old man isn’t really spy material.” Filo said with a little laugh and Elia felt so much comfortable with that.

“And then I cracked. We had a really messy couple of weeks. My parents got divorced.” A beat then, Elia continued. "And scene!” Elia finished off with a half-smile showing everything around them with his arms and hands open wide.

“Okay, that’s more like a theater term but I’ll take it.” Filo said with a big smile. “I am still waiting for your exact trauma.” Filo said, making it sound more like a question.

“Come on, you can get it from that.” Elia said continuing on the light atmosphere. And he felt so thankful to Filo for this. He really didn’t want to have like the most serious talk with him monologuing over this. Filo’s little comments, jokes, his smile, they made things easier. “Divorced parents. Cheating and lying dad.” Elia counted on his fingers with his half-smile. "Major trust issues here.” he finished finally pointing at himself.

“I feel like I need take a lesson about our relationship from this.” Filo lightly commented again and Elia smiled more deeply.

“Well, you could think about why I was insecure and so scared that you were gonna drop me. And why I snapped at that party.” Elia offered with a smile and his head tilted to the side.

And with that Filo closed the distance between them by getting off the ground a little and moving right in front of Elia. Filippo paused for a few seconds as he looked over Elia’s face and Elia couldn’t help but look all over Filo’s face. His eyes trailed from Filo’s eyes to his lips and then back to his eyes again. In the end, Filo reached in and gave Elia an equally deep but sweet kiss. When they pulled apart Filo pulled his face away too and fully sat back on the ground, just at a closer place to Elia. Elia had one leg up and the other down on the ground with an angle while Filo was sitting cross-legged. Elia’s foot was just touching Filo’s knee.

“I am so glad we both have trust issues.” Filo said first with a little smirk too and Elia shook his head with a smirk of his own. “But for a million different reasons I trust you like I never trusted anyone else. So yeah, trust issues who? We can get over that.” He added getting more serious but still keeping his light tone and nice smile.

Elia felt like he was repeating his thoughts but they were in his head so it was fine. What Elia was thinking once again was how everything seemed so easier with Filippo. Like he could so comfortably and casually talk about everything that he went through and Filo would so normally and again so casually comment and would find a way out.

This time Elia got closer to Filo or more like launched himself at Filo with a big grin causing Filo to laugh a little. He almost fell on top of Filo. Once they got their balance back Elia leaned in (or more like leaned down) and kissed Filo and he kept kissing and kissing. Perhaps Elia did feel something more for Filo.

* * *

**Giovedi 15:18 - Thank You**

Elia left through the school gate with Marti by his side. Eva was waiting for the girls so Gio was waiting with her and Luca was obviously with Silvia and etc. and etc. The weather was a little chilly but the sun was shining in full power. It was a good day. Lately, Elia had been having a lot of good days. It felt like the universe or God knew that he was out of his bad days and moving onto the good ones, that he was making amends, improving.

They were a few steps away from the gate when Elia took a look at his best friend. The sun was shining on him and Marti was walking so openly, so confidently. Much more confidently than when they were 13 or 14. Much more confidently than before he found Nicco, before he found himsef. Elia couldn’t help but smile and then wonder if he did look more confident ever since he found Filo and himself too.

“Hey, Marti.” Elia said with a little smile while bumping Marti’s shoulder with his own shoulder. “Thank you.” he added with a bigger smile.

“What for?” Marti said looking at him from bottom to top with a confused smile.

“Everything that happened last year; how you came through all that and just you being yourself and being with Nicco…” Elia gave out a soft breath. “...I don’t know if I would have accepted myself if you didn’t do all of that before. Thank you.” He finished with a warmer smile and this time bumping Marti on the shoulder with his fist.

Marti took in a deep breath which turned into a big smile. Elia also didn’t miss the way Marti's eyes shined which made his own eyes shine too, more than he was used to for an ordinary Thursday afternoon.

“Elia, you would have come to this point on your own too. I know it.” Marti said keeping his bright smile.

“Maybe so.” Elia said with a shrug. “But thanks to you it was quicker and easier.” He added with his sincere smile and nod.

Marti’s eyes shined more and it looked he had to look away and blink a little. This might have been the first time Elia got Marti to be this emotional. Score, he thought. Then, Marti stopped walking and turned to Elia with a little chuckle.

“So am I your guru now?” Marti asked. “Just like how your boyfriend is my guru.” he added making air quotes around ‘your boyfriend’.

As much as it was so good to hear people refer to Filippo as his boyfriend, Elia was barely getting used to that so he was smiling crazily every time people did that.

“No, no.” Elia said shaking his hands and head from left to right. “Your boyfriend is my guru.” he added with a laugh.

“What? When did that happen?” Marti asked in a surprised tone and a little laugh.

“He found me on the gay street. Like Filo found you.” Elia said with a laugh and a wink.

This only got Marti to laugh throwing his head back so Elia couldn’t help but laugh too.

“We are such messes.” Marti said with a shrug, still laughing.

Yeah that much was true considering their whole relationship experiences and the way they were both guided by each other’s older boyfriends. This was a good way to explain them, Elia thought.

In between their laughter they didn’t realize Gio basically running up to them from behind until he lightly bumped to them while putting his each arm around one of their shoulders. He joined in their laughter too without knowing what they were laughing about.

Marti slightly turned his head to Gio, as much as he could under Gio’s hold.

“Why did you run after us?” Marti asked finally being able to stop his laughs.

“I need to ask you something.” Gio said playfully while dropping his arms from around their shoulders.

“Remind you, all of us have boyfriends / girlfriends.” Marti said with a smirk.

His friends knowing about Filo meant that, now Elia got to be a part of all these little, inner jokes too. It was fun. Elia nodded with a smirk too and took a step back raising his hands in front of him as if to say 'no'.

“Bold of you to directly reject me when you had a crush-" Gio started saying with a confident smirk as he pointed at Marti.

“It wasn’t a crush-“ Marti tried to cut in with a deer-caught-in-headlights look and smile.

“...on me. And you probably did too.” Gio said anyway, looking at Elia at the second part while laughing.

“I am more into older guys.” Elia said with a smirk knowing just the effect this sentence would do. And it did its effect, with getting Marti to groan really loudly.

“Please, ask your question now.” Marti said to Gio while still groaning.

“Can I stay over tonight?” Gio asked with his blue eyes open wide and a little smile.

And Marti and Elia shared a little look. Then, both of them turned to Gio with most of their smiles wiped away.

“You know you don’t have to ask.” Marti said with a sigh.

“So yes?” Gio still asked with no smile this time.

“Yes!” Marti said a little loudly but with soft eyes.

Once again, Marti and Elia locked eyes, more worriedly this time. Elia hoped to God that he didn’t miss any signs from Gio or anything new happening at Gio’s home while he was dealing with his own shit.

“Is everything okay?” Elia asked with his eyebrow's knitted together.

“No lies.” Marti added firmly.

“It’s the same.” Gio said with a sigh, he was clearly fed up with boy’s questions not that Elia cared because he would keep pestering Gio forever. “I still rather not go home.”

“Are you sure?” Elia asked with a raised eyebrow. Like he said, he wasn’t going to stop pestering.

Just as Gio was about to answer somebody else bumped to them from behind. It wasn’t a light bump; it was a proper crash meaning it could be only one person. Luca. All other three boys sighed and couldn’t help but forget the whole atmosphere just then. They turned back to Luca with big smiles.

“You guys walk so fast!” Luca said a little out of breath .

Elia rolled his eyes at his best friend with a laugh. Luca had such a power that he made the boys cheer up even when he didn’t know what was going on, even when there wasn’t really anything going on.

“Awwh, Luchino couldn’t catch up.” Gio said in a fake 'feeling sorry’ and a chuckle. Luca looked at Gio with a fake scowl and hit Gio on the arm lightly.

Elia chuckled too and that was when he looked behind Luca to see the girls approaching as well. They have been casually walking when Luca probably ran up to catch up with the boys. God, contabbandieri really wasn’t most practical people you could find. But bless Luca for his effort, Elia thought.

“I told you, you didn’t have to run Luca.” Silvia said with a loving smile once the girls reached them.

“So what are we doing?” Federica asked with a smile as she opened her hands to both sides.

The school was over. They didn't have anything planned to do. Everybody was there. The topic was running. Instinctively, Elia’s eyes trailed on all of the people standing there and landed on Gio who had a similar smirk and the same kind of mischievous look in his eyes. They locked eyes for like two seconds and then both of them nodded to each other.

Their silence, unfortunately, was picked up on.

“Oh, no, no. Gio, Elia, Gio. No.” Eva said pleadingly shaking her head.

With that basically everybody understood what Gio and Elia were planning to do. They weren’t such a hard to guess duo and these people really knew them. So much so that their plan was ruined because before they can announce it and start running Sana and Silvia looked at each other (to their luck, Elia had missed that) and started running, going past Gio and Elia.

“SHIT!” Elia shouted as he sprinted on his feet.

“Race to the bus stop!” Gio announced clasping his hands around his mouth and following after Elia.

“You guys are too slow!” Sana yelled from the front with an amused tone.

“Remember when I beat you at skateboard racing!” Silvia yelled a second after Sana, in the same amused tone.

Maybe the girls weren’t so different from contrabbandieri.

While they were running Elia managed to take a glance at his back to see if anybody else was approaching. He saw the remaining people of their group, Luca, Eva, Ele and Fede, laughing at the running ones' stupidity as they walked casually. Eva had an arm around Luca’s shoulder who was barely getting the control of his breaths and one arm around Marti's shoulder as Ele and Federica followed after.

Like his mother said, his friends were the most important part of his life. Elia’s _found family_ was pretty, pretty good. And the day even felt better, the sun shined a little more, little warmer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Let me know what you think!
> 
> come talk to me on my tumblr : @youleavebehindmemories
> 
> I think it was time Elia said something to his uncles! I tried to gradually build that conversation hope it worked! and like Elia is really glad that he did that-no regrets!
> 
> I looked up and saw that there was an abandoned or more like saved from being demolished theater in Rome but I don't know if people snuck in it. Just imagine there exists a place like that. 
> 
> I hope I didn't mess up the definitions for bisexuality and pansexuality but if you think there is a problem please let me know! and another psa, both bisexuality and pansexuality are valid and people can define themselves however they feel comfortable with. 
> 
> And bless Luca! I wanted to show a bit of his growth too. Finally, I really loved writing the last clip! It is more like me indulging my love for the found family, chosen family trope and showing my love for these characters. But I also think it is important to show that after all these seasons, including the one I wrote for Gio, that these characters are close friends now. Also like we saw Elia get close with the girls so I wanted to add on to that. 
> 
> Anyway, hope this was a little refuge to you in these tiring and scary times as it was to me writing it. Take care until the next chapter and stay safe!


	9. Episode 9 : We'll Manage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everyone!!!
> 
> Hope you are all good! 
> 
> I really really loved writing this chapter because it feels like it ties up some stories while we also get to witness a bit of Elia's growth. The fourth clip is kind of like him helping somebody else with what he have learned. 
> 
> And we also get to see Elia connect and re-connect with people in his life!

**Venerdi 16:45 - Shower of Support**

Elia was sitting in a third generation coffee shop that was close to Irene’s university. Actually, she chose that place saying they were an independent place that was in need of support also known as money. And well, it didn’t matter to Elia as long as it had good coffee and Irene swore on everything that it did. 

But she was late and it wasn’t like Irene to be late. So Elia got a little annoyed because maybe they could have rescheduled this so Elia could have started his date night with Filo sooner. Then, he remembered all the times he made Irene wait and decided to shut up about this. If he didn’t Irene would shut him up, saying it was payback. 

Elia took a sip of his coffee and nodded approvingly. He had to give it to Irene, the coffee was good. The university crowd was a bit weird but it was probably time he got to used it. After all, Elia’s university days were approaching. He took a little glance around the coffee shop and then with a sigh checked the clock on his phone. His lock screen was a photo of Filo which was taken by Filo’s camera in Elia’s inexperienced hands so it was a bit shaky. Still, Elia loved it. Sappy, he knew. 

He opened his Instagram and started just looking through different stories and posts. Luca had listened to his advice and was throwing a little get together at his house (after managing to send away his parents to a weekend trip and his brother to a sleepover) so his stories were filled with preparation stuff. Elia shook his head with a smile and proceeded to reply to one of Luca’s stories when somebody cleared his throat in front of him. 

Elia slowly raised his head to not only meet Irene’s face but also Leonardo's and Valentina's and Pietro’s. 

“Hello?” Elia almost asked a little confusedly mostly looking at Irene’s face. 

He was literally asking Irene what was going on with his eyes. Instead of answering neither with her eyes or with her words Irene pulled up a chair from the nearest table and sat down with a smile. Following her, Valentina took the seat across Elia. Of course Val wouldn’t be bothered to pull up a chair, Elia thought. Pietro and Leonardo were also pulling chairs to sit down.

“Stop looking at us like you are seeing us for the first time. You’ve seen most of our births.” Valentina said with a smile and her arms folded over her chest.

“I-“ Elia started then only turned to Irene, who was sitting right next to him, and reduced his voice to more of a whisper. “I thought only we were meeting.” He said pointing to himself then to her.

“We can still hear you Elia.” Pietro said under his breath with a smirk. 

“They can still hear you Elia.” Irene said louder with a chuckle.

Elia would have flipped her off if for some reason he didn’t decide to be a good older cousin and not a bad influence. He just gave Irene hard glance with an annoyed smile.

“So, we thought-" Irene started after a few seconds of pause.

“I thought-" Valentina corrected her with her own smirk and her hand raised up like saying ‘stop’.

God, Elia had the weirdest and most chaotic cousins.

“Valentina thought…” Irene corrected herself with an annoyed tone and a sigh. “…that we should show you our support.”

Oh God, as nice as this was it was also very awkward. Not because they were talking about Elia coming out because they were talking about Elia’s love life. It wasn’t like Elia was so open with his cousins about everything much less his relationships. So Elia answered with a smile looking at the younger ones:

“I know, okay? You don’t care that I have a boyfriend and of course I have your support. ”

“No.” Pietro said with a little voice and Elia snapped his head at him with a confused look

“No, you do care that I have a boyfried?” Elia asked thinking how could he have misread this situation like that.

“No, we are here to show you our support against them.” Leonardo explained with a smile.

“Our father-“ Valentina started as Elia watched his cousins with a warm smile that got bigger by the minute because he was finally understanding the meaning of this.

“And our father-“ Irene added. 

“Are assholes.” Leonardo concluded with a smirk and a shrug. Elia was sure he never heard Leonardo use the word ‘asshole’ nor seen him smirk this much.

“We generally coped with them by just not caring. I literally block their noise sometimes.” Leonardo continued with a softer smirk.

“Same here!” Val jumped in cheerily.

“Between dad and Chris…” Pietro started than looked at his big sister Irene. Irene nodded encouragingly at him then she turned her head at Elia. Elia felt her gaze in a millisecond and turned to look at her too. Christian was like the elephant in the room right now and as much as Elia was mad at him, it bummed him too, that he wasn’t here. When they were little like 7 or 8 they were like best friends. “…I just thought they were right. Sorry Elia.” Pietro mumbled at the end. 

“We didn’t realize what they were saying was affecting you like that.” Valentina said losing her cheery self from before.

Fuck, Elia really wasn’t expecting this. He knew he had Irene by his side and that was great but that was all. He thought he would be just the same with his cousins again, a little friendly but mostly distant. 

“Well, uh, thank you.” Elia said awkwardly. He then took in a deep breath, “Really thank you. I wasn’t expecting this shower of support.” He added with a big smile looking at everybody’s faces.

“Get used to it.” Val said with a wink and Elia laughed while shaking his head. Maybe he might have overlooked how good most of his cousins were. 

“They are still our fathers and uncles and mothers and aunts. We can’t change that.” Leonardo said leaning forward. “I am not saying they are family and all that crap. I am saying we have to live with them and sure I love them but that doesn’t mean they are right and that they are not assholes.” 

This might have been the longest Elia heard Leonardo talk, especially when they weren’t one-on-one. And this might have been the first time Leo actually talked about something real not some trivial thing. Elia sure did not know his cousins. They had their own world. And also, Elia agred with him, liked his point of view.

“We have to have each other's backs against some boomers.” Valentina added on to her brother's words with another wink.

So, Elia had no choice but to laugh a little. Val’s constant energy while tiring was fun. 

Elia gave out a breath while laughing:

“Yes, yes we need to have each other’s backs.” Elia said while nodding and sending a wink at Val’s way.

“Okay, so I want coffee.” Pietro cut in making use of the silence.

“Me too!” Valentina groaned, immediately jumping to her feet. 

“Come on, it’s my treat.” Leonardo said pulling his sister and Pietro by their arms. 

Turned out, Leonardo in his silent ways was the most mature and logical out of them all and maybe he also did look after Elia.

Irene threw an arm around Elia, reminding him of last Sunday when they left the dinner together. Irene had stayed silent today probably because Elia already knew that she was with him and maybe she wanted to give it to the others for once. Elia reached over her embrace and tried to ruffle her hair, a quirk he mostly used on the boys, but she got away and straightened her hair. They looked at each other for a moment and then bursted out laughing. 

“They did good.” Irene said in between her laughs.

“Yeah, they did.” Elia said laughing too with his soft eyes trailing to his other three cousins waiting at the counter. Valentina was ranting about something with the loudest voice as Leonardo did not listen and Pietro pretended to listen. 

Yeah, well, you could never have too many people by your side right? And maybe it was time they all talked back to their family. The family dinners from now on sure would be much more smoother and perhaps something Elia could actually look for. Also, if they didn’t know about Elia’s life, how Elia was feeling maybe Elia did not know a lot about them either. Maybe they could get rid of this distance and talk more. What did Elia learn? Talking was good. And maybe his blood family wasn’t that bad. Maybe they were actually kind and nice and fun and loving. 

* * *

**Sabato 09:45 - Touche**

Elia woke up a little groggily and he almost hit his hand on the other side of the bed, completely forgetting that Filo was sleeping there. Then, he quickly collected himself and slowly got out of the bed trying to be careful not to wake his boyfriend up. Once he got up he looked at Filo with a smile and had to hold himself from not giving him a kiss. With a bigger smile he pulled up his dark blue jeans and grabbed his t-shirt. After smelling the t-shirt, Elia threw it back on the floor and instead grabbed one of Filo’s t-shirts.

He pulled the white, graphic t-shirt over his head as he left the room and made his way to the kitchen he was hearing faint sounds coming from. Good thing he decided to dress up. Also, maybe it was time he started leaving some clothes over here, at the Sava house.

It was Edoardo in the kitchen. He was standing over the coffee machine, pouring himself some. After a few seconds of Elia standing at the door he raised his head, shaking his longer curls, to meet with Elia’s eyes.

“Shit. I am sorry for waking you up.” Edoardo said with an apologetic tone and a smile. 

“No, it wasn’t you. I just naturally woke up.” Elia said with his own smile, properly entering the kitchen.

“Coffee?” Edoardo asked pointing at his mug with his head.

“Of fucking course.” Elia replied with a big nod. Already the smell of coffee was going to his heart and his brain now he needed to taste of it too. 

Edoardo opened some of the top cupboards and carefully picked up a blue mug. Elia might just call this the Sava-Incanti house as well.

“So, I have heard you are quite the cook.” Edoardo said with a smirk as he handed the mug over to Elia.

So, his fame spread around. That felt pretty good. 

“Is this the Incanti way of asking me to prepare the breakfast?” Elia said with his own smirk.

“I’ll help?” Edoardo offered kindly and Elia nodded.

Preparing breakfast for his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s sister and her boyfriend was something quite domestic and weirdly Elia was up for it. Maybe this was his way from now on. And well, he could use his talent about food for good and spread his fame some more, you know, be known as Elia the cook or maybe Elia the chef. 

So, Elia opened the fridge and started scanning through everything he could use. He took out four eggs and handed them over to Edoardo. Then, he carefully picked some cheese and spotted some green peppers and some mushrooms. He handed them all over to Edoardo who was laying everything on the counter. Elia really did feel like a chef in a big kitchen. 

Meanwhile, knowing the kitchen, Edoardo put out a big bowl and a good pan. Elia instructed Edoardo to crack the eggs and mix them in the bowl while he was dealing with the mushrooms and the peppers. They did make a good team too. Elia was near the sink and Edoardo was doing his job on the connected counter. So, they kinda had their backs turned to each other. 

“Fighting at the school. You took a page out of Villa Boy’s book.” Edoardo said picking the bowl up to his hands and turning around to look at Elia.

“At least I got over it quicker than you guys.” Elia said with a tiny smile while cutting up the pepper in little pieces.

“Touche.” Edoardo said with a little chuckle. “Glad you got over it though.” He didn’t forget to add.

Elia half-turned and gave Edoardo a thankful smile and a thankful nod. Giovanni was right, Edoardo was a pretty nice guy.

A minute later Edoardo placed the bowl down, signaling Elia that he was done with his job. So, Elia put the little peppers inside the mix too and continued on his job with the mushrooms. They were a little tricky but nothing Elia couldn’t handle. Now, Elia kept working as Edoardo took some sips of his coffee while leaning onto the counter he was just working at.

“You and Gio, you used to hate us, right?” Edoardo asked with a small smile.

And Elia froze not knowing what to answer. It wasn’t exactly a lie that they did. After all, Edoardo’s best friend was the person Eva cheated on Gio with but that was a long time ago. Edoardo and Fede and Chicco and others, they all helped the contrabbandieri when they needed. 

“It’s okay. I talked to Gio about this countless times.” Edoardo added with a lighter tone after Elia visibly froze. 

“Well, I mean we were assholes too but we weren’t put an 'x mark for the girl you sleep with' type of assholes.” Elia said with a little smirk turning around too. He tried to make it sound as a joke as much as possible.

“Touche. Again.” Edoardo said with another chuckle over his mug as he took in another sip.

“But we are not assholes anymore, hopefully, and you are not either.” Elia offered with a shrug. 

High school years truly were the time where everybody got into their characters, turned themselves around. Even before these past weeks, Elia had grown so much. He felt that when he stopped making the same mean jokes or saying the same stupid remarks. And with Edoardo and others, up close they were nicer than Elia expected them to be.

“Here’s to fucking growing up.” Edoardo said raising his mug so Elia grabbed his own and raised it with a grin too. “Good thing you don’t hate me anymore.” Edoardo added after a second.

“Why?” Elia asked with a curious grin.

“Cause this…” Edoardo replied pointing in between them. “…we are gonna need this.” He finished with a twinkle in his eyes.

And it clicked for Elia. Sure, he was gonna need this.

“Oh, you are smart Incanti.” Elia started with another smirk. “We both need inside information, right?” He then asked with a wink.

Elia grabbed the little pieces of mushroom and proceeded to put them into the mix too while shooting a big smile at Edoardo. 

“Right.” Edoardo replied this time with a sly smile. “Like I met their mom. I got you covered in family stuff.”

“And, I am in Rome, sleeping here. I got you covered, generally.” Elia said with his eyebrows raised and his own mischievous smile.

Edoardo raised his hand waiting for a high-five and so, Elia raised his hand and gave Edoardo the high-five. After Gio got close to him in the past months Elia and Edoardo started to talk more too. But now that they were dating the Sava siblings they had many more opportunities to talk and get closer. Elia had a feeling that he was going to become good friends with Edoardo Incanti. Thinking this got Elia to suddenly burst out laughing.

“What?” Edoardo asked laughing too.

“Freshman me wouldn’t think I would be making breakfast on a Saturday morning with Rich King Incanti as his girlfriend and my boyfriend, who are siblings by the way, sleep soundly in their beds.” Elia managed to get out while still laughing. 

Elia’s words got Edoardo to laugh as hard. Now, the two of them were almost doubling down from laughter. It took them like a good minute to collect themselves and quite down.

“When you put it like that even present me is having a hard time to believe.” Edoardo said with a big smile as he gave out a breath.

“We got lucky.” Elia said with a smirk.

“Yeah, we did.” Edoardo said with an approving tone and a grin.

And another minute later Elia finally continued with the omelette. He poured the mix onto the pan and started cooking it with really low heat. While his team mate, his assistant Edoardo set up the table with plates and forks and other stuff as well. They really were a good team. They already nailed the division of work naturally and perfectly. 

A while later, just when everything was ready (to be eaten) first Ele then Filo emerged from their rooms, both a little groggily. They came into the kitchen where Elia and Edoardo were catching up with their cups of coffee. Eleonora and Filippo stood at the door for a moment looking at each other, probably taking in the view in front of them. Then, Ele moved to give Edoardo a little kiss and a big hug while Filo opted for a big kiss and a little hug. When they broke apart Elia forced a mug of coffee into Filippo’s hand and led him to the living room by pulling his hands. 

The moment Filippo saw the table he gave Elia another deep kiss. This time when they broke apart Filo threw himself to one of the chairs, beaming. Elia watched him with the biggest smile ever until Eleonora and Edoardo approached him from behind. Edoardo settled to the seat across Filippo as Ele gave Elia a little squeeze on the shoulder. After that, Elia and Eleonora sat down too and all of them started to fill up their stomachs. 

Elia’s omelette received the biggest compliments ever, the most he ever got. But honestly, Elia thought everyone was just so hungry. They kept eating as everybody told embarrassing stories about each other and by the end with his full stomach and all the laughter Elia was having a stomachache.

It was a good kind of stomachache though. And Elia knew, there was going to be so many more breakfasts with the four of them and so many more good kind of stomachaches. 

* * *

**Martedi 16:21 - Not Being A Jerk**

Elia was at the skate park with everybody again. By everybody, he meant Gio and Marti and Luca and Nicco and Eva and Silvia and, this time, Filippo. In two months he got to the point he had been yearning for. He didn’t need to stand at the side and watch as his best friends had fun with their _loves_ while he missed _his_. 

So now, like the old times, Elia was waiting with his arms open wide as Gio rolled down to him from a ramp. Elia wrapped Gio in a big hug with a laugh and Gio ruffled his hair in his own way. Eva was filming them from across and Filippo was next to her. Elia watched Filippo as he broke apart the hug with Gio. Filo was laughing at something with Eva as she kept filming around and he used his camera to take some cool shots of everyone-just as Elia predicted he would do.

Silvia had her own skateboard this time and over on the other side of the park her and Luca were skating around together. It was an interesting sight one might call it cute, but Elia was still so shocked at how good Silvia was at this. Marti had finally decided to stop torturing his boyfriend so they were sitting at the corner. The two were near the benches but not on them. Instead both were sitting on separate skateboards facing each other with their legs placed in between the others'.

Elia watched over all his friends for a second and took in a deep breath with a smile. All his friends were happy, all his friends had someone. And he had someone too. Someone that he could now bring here. So that his friends could look at them with the same smile he had on for them.

Gio ruffled his hair again before skipping next to Eva. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up a bit. Elia could see their smiles. Filippo was watching them with a little smile too and slowly their eyes met. Filippo came up to him in his own slow pace and landed a little kiss on Elia’s lips.

“So, when are we seeing you on the board?” Elia asked with a little smirk.

“I told you I don’t want my arms broken.” Filo answered with a little laugh but in a totally opposite, serious tone.

“You can’t be worse than Nicco.” Elia said with a bigger smirk as he took a step back and took a look at Marti and Nicco who were still sitting.

“That’s true.” Filo agreed, grinning. “But it’s still more fun watching you.” Filo said taking two steps closer to Elia.

With his skateboard under one hand, Elia placed the other hand on Filo’s shoulder and pulled him in as their lips closed up and their laughs turned into a kiss. 

“Hey, Elia.” Gio said interrupting their kiss causing both of them to pull back. “Isn’t that your cousin, Christian?” He asked pointing to near the end of the park where the grass began. 

It was indeed Christian standing there awkwardly like he got lost. He was shifting between his feet and looking around.

“Yeah, that’s him.” Elia said confusedly and then shared a little glance with Gio and then Filo.

“Is that the jerk cousin who finds homophobic jokes so funny and gets his ass beaten over jeaolus fights?” Filo asked with an irritated tone looking right through Elia’s eyes. 

It looked like Filo wanted to give Christian a piece of his mind so Elia tried to hold Filo’s gaze to tell him not to. It worked. Filo just nodded and gave Elia a little smile in half a second.

“What?” Eva asked with a scowl.

“I’ll go see what he wants.” Elia said dropping the skateboard to the ground and getting on it.

“What did he do?” Gio asked after him in a worried and confused tone. 

“I’ll tell you.” Elia heard Filo say as he slid away. God, the two of them were going to want to give Christian a piece of their mind after that (he’ll be lucky if Eva didn’t join in too.)

When Elia got to the edge he got off his skateboard and picked it up in his left hand again. That was the moment Christian spotted him and tried to look more confident, like he belonged there. That didn’t work much.

“Not really your scene Christian.” Elia said coldly with his eyebrows raised.

“Can we talk?” Christian asked over Elia’s shoulder and Elia wanted to say no but he remembered how good it felt when all his cousins showed up for his coffee date with Irene. 

Then, he also remembered how Elia was going to have to face Christian in family dinners for his whole life so he just nodded. But even after a few seconds that passed Christian wasn’t saying anything and they had the most uncomfortable silence ever. They weren’t even looking at each other.

“Waiting.” Elia said with a sigh as he snapped his head up.

“I’m not my father.” Christian said almost overlapping with Elia’s words and Elia’s second sigh stopped in the middle. “Sometimes I think like him. Sometimes I just get caught in the moment and step over the line. But I am not him.” Christian finished in a low voice finally being able to look Elia in the eyes.

And with that Elia softened a little which surprised him too. Maybe when dealing with himself Elia missed Christian struggling under his father’s pressure. 

“I know.” Elia said his scowl turning into a worried look.

“The other night…” Christian said and then paused. “…look, it came off as being mean but I really don’t care who you fuck. I am saying this in a nice way.” he finished with a small shrug.

And there it was, the Christian Elia was used to. Still, Elia smiled a little. 

“Okay.” Elia answered keeping that little smile. “Did Irene put you up to this?” he then asked.

“No, it’s all me. She did help me get my head out of my ass though.” Christian answered putting on a little smile.

Of course she did. She was Irene.

“Is this going to lead to somewhere?” Elia asked with more of a smirk now.

“Right.” Christian said and took in a deep breath. “I’m sorry. Those jokes are not funny, they are not okay. And I stepped over the line.” 

Despite feeling sorry for Christian a minute ago and reacting in a softer way Elia was still hesitant. Maybe Chris was actually sorry but Elia didn’t know whether to be completely okay with him or not. Even before that dinner, he wasn’t the best to Elia and they argued a lot. So Elia rubbed his forehead and sighed.

“Do you remember when you were six and I was five and your parents fought like all the time?” After Elia’s silence Christian asked again looking over Elia’s shoulder. Elia nodded. His parents’ problems didn’t start when he was 12. “You spent a weekend at ours. We built a fort and didn’t even let Irene in. Played with cars the whole day.” Christian continued with a smile this time looking down.

And Elia did remember. By the end of that weekend he didn’t even want to go home. There was indeed a point where him and Christian were best friends. 

“I won at every game but you always made a fuss.” Elia added with a faint grin. 

This got Christian to look at him again with a grin like the one Elia had.

“I’m gonna work on not being a jerk. Irene has the permission to smack me every time I am being one and you do too.” Christian offered with a little laugh. 

Elia with a smirk slapped Christian on the arm real hard and Christian let out a really loud “owh” noise. Elia started laughing as Christian held onto his arm.

“You can count this for the past or as a counter payment.” Elia said laughing.

Christian eventually started laughing too before pushing Elia from the side-a little affectionate quirk Elia used with the boys too.

“Come on.” Elia said throwing an arm around Chris’s shoulder. Chris stopped mid walking, probably hesitating so Elia had to pull him over to the others.

When they got closer Filo basically ran up to them and pulled Elia into deep kiss, like a really deep kiss, deeper than they did before. It felt to Elia like Filo was trying to get a reaction out of Chris and so, Elia laughed into the kiss. If his talk with Chris went the other way, Filo would definitely put Chris in his place. But right now, much to Elia’s surprise, Chris was watching them with a smile with his hand ready to shake Filo’s while introducing himself.

Elia didn’t know himself to be forgiving like this. Elia's whole reaction to Marti's lies a few weeks ago proved that. He thought he would have send Chris packing and he would make some remark about how he was just like his father. He didn’t. Maybe Elia grew up, became more mature. Maybe he didn’t change but he just was forgiving to people who he knew meant it. Still, it was surprising that Elia didn’t bite back. Or maybe he simply didn’t want any more bad blood in his life.

And so, Chris got on the skateboard Nicco wasn’t using and proved himself to be somehow worse than Nicco at this, saying he was too cool for skateboarding. Elia thought Filo’s hard glance combined with Gio’s and Eva’s might have given Christian some bad time too.

Elia did some tricks and Filo gave him a kiss. Marti decided to join and Nicco watched him fondly. Elia jumped up from the ramps and Filippo took some black & white shots of him. Luca clapped crazily when Silvia managed to flip the board two times in the air. Filippo whistled every time Elia did something cool. Eva tried to get on the board but Gio grabbed her and twirled her around. Filo kept pulling Elia into kisses every once in a while. 

Everything was going as Elia dreamt of it to be going.

Gio proposed another race and everybody who could skate was in. Elia, Gio, Marti, Luca, Silvia and Chris raced while Eva and Nicco timed them and Filippo recorded them one by one. Elia won and called it ‘the luck of Filippo’. Then, tackled Filo with a kiss as a thank you as Chris first and then everybody else laughed. And life started to feel like a good sitcom.

* * *

**Mercoledi 17:03 - Brother Figure**

At Elia’s mother’s kitchen Filo was sitting up on the counter as Elia scanned through the fridge. It was so nice to have Filo over casually.

“What are you going to make for me tonight?” Filo asked with a smirk.

Elia looked over the fridge door and shot a smile at Filippo:

“I was thinking we could order something.”

“Are you already tired from all the cooking I demand?” Filo asked throwing his head up.

“Never.” Elia said closing the fridge’s door. “I thought instead of spending my time on other things…” He said slowly walking to Filo with a cheeky smirk. “…I can spend my time, well, on you.” He finished standing in between Filippo’s legs with his hands over them.

“On me, huh?” Filippo said leaning in for a kiss. 

Elia moved his hands on Filippo’s legs as Filippo grabbed him by the face and they kept kissing and kissing. It wasn’t exactly sanitary on a kitchen counter but yeah, not like Elia cared. The kiss was interrupted at the perfect moment with the doorbell ringing. After the second ring they both threw their heads back, Filo with a groan and Elia with a sigh. 

Elia took a step back and Filo jumped down from the counter. 

“I’ll get the door. You make coffee before we move onto other things.” Filippo said grinning as he went through the kitchen door. 

Elia smiled to himself after him and proceeded to take out two mugs. He was about to take out the coffee beans too when Filippo’s voice stopped him.

“Elia, there’s a little kid at the door!” Filippo shouted loud enough for Elia to hear.

Little kid?, Elia questioned with a scowl. Did Pietro decided to drop? No, he wouldn’t come without the others. Elia stopped what he was doing and started walking to the door. 

“Sorry, there is a 13-year-old kid at the door!” Filippo corrected himself as Elia was walking through the corridor. 

The moment Elia arrived to the door he stood in his place abruptly with a more confused and more serious scowl. It was Marco, Giovanni’s little brother. He had a little bruise forming under his right eye, over his cheek and the dried blood at the end of his left eyebrow. 

“Marco?” Elia practically yelped out. "What the hell happened to you?” He said taking a few steps to the door.

“I got in a fight.” Marco answered looking down as he dropped his backpack to the ground. 

Elia sighed and met with Filippo’s eyes. Filippo looked down at the kid and then to Elia and he closed the door. For fuck’s sake, why was everyone around them, of course Elia included, so down to fight?

“Get in, get in.” Elia said practically pushing Marco to the living room by his shoulders.

Marco slowly walked, sulking and Filo stopped Elia by touching him on the arm. Filippo pointed at Marco with his eyes and shook his head from left to right in small movements, basically asking who was that.

“Marco. Gio’s brother.” Elia explained with a sigh and Filippo rolled his eyes with a smile. Then, Filippo followed Marco inside as Elia went to the bathroom to find some thing to fix that stupid kid up.

Bold of him to call a 13-year-old who got into a fight stupid when he was being the exact kind of stupid a month ago. But he learned better and it wasn’t unusual to expect better from other people. Oh fuck, did Gio knew about this? He was going to kill Marco before Gio did. 

When he arrived back at the living room he found Filippo and Marco bickering over some thing that he didn’t understand. It looked like they were both trying to win but Elia didn’t know which one was winning. 

Elia sat down next to Marco on the couch and fumbled through the first aid kid in his hands before he heard Filippo groan. 

“Let me do it.” Filippo said grabbing the kit out of Elia’s hands and scooched in between Elia and Marco.

So with a little smile Elia got up and moved to the other couch, the one Filippo just got up from. It was so good that Filippo was there to help him through this crisis and every other crisis. 

“Who is he?” Marco asked in an annoyed tone and a scowl as Filippo was cleaning his eyebrow. 

Filippo turned his head to Elia probably waiting for him to answer in the way he wanted. They looked at each other for a second and Filippo send a warm and encouraging smile at Elia. A similar smile spread over Elia’s face.

“He’s my boyfriend.” Elia smiled looking at Marco with a smile.

“Cool.” Marco said with a shrug immediately after. 

The kid gave Elia a smile but Elia also saw him gaze at Filippo, like he was trying to figure Filippo out. Must be the Garau blood, Elia thought.

“I should be the one asking questions here. What happened exactly?” Elia asked taking on his serious and a little angry tone again.

“My best friend Gabriel has a lisp.” Marco started to explain and Elia already guessed where this was going. “There is this guy Diego. He is the worst. He always makes fun of Gabriel and today he did it again. So I showed him.” Marco said with another little shrug.

Of course he did. Maybe it wasn’t Marco’s fault, first Gio, then Elia, maybe they didn’t pose the best example. As if to prove this Filippo bursted into a fit of laughter. 

“Oh, you are definitely Giovanni’s brother. Maybe even Elia's.” Filippo said still laughing.

“Filo.” Elia kindly warned Filippo to stop him talking and he received another laugh as an answer.

Sure, he wasn’t wrong but Elia needed a bit of authority here. Elia put on his serious face again and said:

“Marco-

“I know the fight for Marti. It’s the same thing.” But Marco cut him in with an all-knowing tone.

“No, it’s not.” Elia said firmly. “They came for Marti first. And not just with their words, with their fists. This…” Elia said leaning forward and pointing at Marco’s face. “…doesn’t solve anything. Do you want to be there for your friend? Tell him to screw that guy. Don’t leave him alone. Make him laugh. Don’t get into fights that he would blame himself for.” Elia finished harsher than he intended to.

Probably because of Elia’s tone and just how serious he was Marco didn’t object and just looked down. A few months ago maybe Elia would have lectured and warned Marco more softly to keep him out trouble. Right now, he was this serious and harsh because he didn’t want Marco to follow their steps and learn about all this when he hit 18. 

“I am speaking from experience Marco. Fighting will only end bad for you.” Elia added still keeping his firm voice as Filippo listened him carefully with an understanding look in his eyes too. “Now, do you promise not to get into fights?”

Marco finally looked up and sighed:

“Yes, I promise.” A beat and then he added. “Really.” with big eyes and a nod.

He sounded too much like Gio, so Elia believed him. Elia did directly believe Marco too. The kid sounded sincere and especially saying that Elia knew what he was talking about had an effect.

“I have one question.” Filippo said looking at Marco. “I get that he is a brother figure to you too…” Filippo said pointing at Elia with his head. “…but why didn’t you go to your actual brother?”

Marco sighed and dropped his head down then looked at Elia:

“I didn’t want Gio to make it a big deal and get worried. Because, you know…” He said trailing off while still looking at Elia.

Of course Elia knew about Marco’s asthma and his asthma attacks. 

“But you are okay, right?” Elia asked losing his seriousness and getting worried as well.

Marco rolled his eyes probably because Elia was acting like just how he guessed Gio would act like. Elia remembered a month ago when he felt bad because he wasn’t like Gio. Now, when he let himself just be himself he was saying all the right and caring things too. No need to compare.

“Yeah, yeah.” Marco said with an annoyed smile. He was tired of his brother and his brother’s friends hovering over him. “And I didn’t want to go home because I don’t want dad to get mad at Gio because of this.” He said pointing at himself and pronouncing ‘this' just like Elia did.

There was a few seconds of silence followed with a deep sigh from Elia. Filippo looked at him and gave him a half-smile before turning his head back to Marco.

“I am going to call your brother and you two can stay over here tonight.” Elia said jumping to his feet. 

God, Elia hated Gio’s father too. 

As Elia moved past Marco he gave the kid a little smack on the head because he deserved that for getting into a fight. Then, Elia left the living room to pick his phone up from the kitchen and by the door, he heard Marco and Filippo talk in between them.

“First things first…” Marco said in a very serious tone. “…Eva is my number one and Niccolo is a close second. You have to work really hard.”

“Okay, kid.” Filippo said with a little laugh so Elia smiled too listening to the conversation from the corridor. He could also guess Marco glancing hard at the word ‘kid’. 

“So, how long have you two been dating?” Marco asked starting his interrogation.

Elia started walking to the kitchen again with a laugh he managed to let out without any noise. Filippo was definitely gonna make a joke about how much more approval he was going to have to get.

Marco was Gio’s brother but also to an extent, somewhat and somehow he was kinda like Elia’s brother too. And Elia liked that role very much. He promised to himself to be a better example for Marco so from now on he was going to make wiser and more calculated decisions.

* * *

**Venerdi 20:49 - Wine & Beer**

Despite Elia objecting and saying Marco was like his brother too, as a thank you Giovanni had given Elia the keys to Bracciano saying he could take Filippo there for the night. Elia almost didn’t take the keys but this time Gio said since Marti and Nicco got the cabin for a night Elia and Filippo deserved it too. To that, Luca objected saying him and Silvia didn’t get it and Gio laughed and promised to give it to them for a night too. Then, they joked about how Bracciano was turning to be a well, something like a sex hotel. 

(The thing was the cabin belonged to Gio’s aunt whom none of the boys have met. From what Gio told she was a really nice person and she kinda didn’t like Gio’s parents either. So, no matter how much problem Gio had with them the cabin was open to his usage. Always. Thank God for Gio’s aunt, Elia thought.)

Now, Filippo sat on the little table comfortably because of the warmth of the fireplace as Elia got his famous lasagna out of the little oven sitting on top of the counter. 

“What’s that I am smelling?” Filippo asked rising up from his seat to peak. 

“Patient.” Elia said with a smirk as he let the pyrex cool down on the counter. 

“I am pouring the wines you bring the food.” Filippo said with a big smile.

A minute later Elia was serving the food as Filo once again was seated and was watching Elia with a smile plastered on his face. 

“It might not be my best lasagna. Don’t forget that I made this in an ancient oven.” Elia said smiling as he set Filippo’s plate down.

“I would eat poison out of your hands.” Filippo said with a smirk. 

Elia rolled his eyes and sat down. Elia really really liked Filippo’s little jokes, remarks or more likely flirting.

“Much Romeo and Juliet of you.” Elia said smirking as he sat down.

“Getting cultured, aren’t you?” Filippo replied taking a sip of his wine.

And Elia once again rolled his eyes and flipped his boyfriend off. This wasn’t a good example but even involuntarily Elia was getting more cultured every minute he spent with Filippo and he was okay with it. Slowly, he started feeling like he could talk and connect with Filippo more.

Filippo took one bite from the lasagna and immediately threw his head back holding his hands over his heart. He kept saying that he was in love with this lasagna and how Elia should watch out. Elia just laughed, a warm feeling rising over his stomach and to his heart. He tried not to obsess over how much Filippo used the word love.

“You know, Marco gave me the ‘little brother talk’ the other day.” Filippo said with a grin.

“Serves you right. I already got the sister talk from Ele.” Elia replied with an eyebrow raised.

“Hope she grilled you good.” Filippo shot back.

Elia remembered their conversation. Ele had warned him and actually scared him too but generally she was really helpful, understanding. More than that she just wanted to see her brother happy. Elia got that common with Eleonora.

“Something like that.” Elia said with a soft smile. 

They continued eating with little jokes and laughs and before they knew it they were onto the second bottle of wine. Elia wasn’t the most wine kind of guy. Truthfully, he was craving some good beer but Filippo showed up with like four bottles of red wine and Elia couldn’t say no. And it was all the ambiance and atmosphere, right? A nice dinner at a cabin in the woods should be completed with wine. Also, they were Italian after all.

By then, they were almost done with dinner and Filippo got up to bring the third bottle of wine. They were going through bottles so fast but it was nothing Elia couldn’t handle. A little tipsiness for this night couldn’t hurt either. 

Much to Elia’s surprise Filippo came back with a bottle of wine and two bottles of beer. He put the beers in front of Elia and took the wine for himself.

“Thought you might be getting tired of the sophisticated wine life.” Filo said giving Elia a little peck on the lips. 

Elia smiled into the kiss and pulled Filippo in deeper. For a moment, they kept kissing before Filippo broke it apart and took his seat across Elia.

“You thought correct.” Elia said with a smile that still had the shocked effect in it.

“Don’t be so surprised. I know you.” Filippo said cockily, leaning back in his chair.

Elia smiled and took a sip of his already open beer while Filippo pour some wine to his glass. A few seconds later Filippo twirled the glass in his hands and took a big sip. Then, he looked right at Elia with a faint smile. 

“Remember when I told you I had my fair share of heartbreaks?” Filo asked looking over his wine glass.

Elia nodded faintly. Of course Elia remembered. From time to time he thought about that and wondered what exactly Filippo meant with it, what exactly happened. But he didn’t want to question or pressure Filippo. Just like how he opened up last week, at the movie theater, he thought Filippo would open up at the right time when he felt comfortable too.

“I was in high school.” Filippo started to talk while twirling the glass by the base of it. “There was this guy. We were sort of dating. It was kinda like the Silvia and Edoardo thing...” He continued with a little grimace. “…but I didn’t know it at the time. That’s why I tried to help set her up with you. Thought she deserved better.” Filippo paused with a tiny smile and a shrug.

“And I am better?” Elia asked with a smirk and raised eyebrows.

Just like Filo did with him, Elia had chosen a lighter tone. He had also chosen to make little jokes to ease this conversation. He wanted to ask questions about the name of this guy and how they met and everything but he shut himself up. He was going to let Filippo talk at his own pace. That’s what Filippo needed, Elia knew.

“Yeah, so so.” Filippo said with a bigger smile shaking his hand from side to side in the air. “I would run after him. He wouldn’t even acknowledge me at school. I would get upset and then a half-assed apology would follow. And I would keep running after him.” 

Filippo sighed and chucked down the rest of his wine and Elia just watched him. Then, he chucked a good half of his beer too, kind of in morale support before Filippo talked again:

“By the time I was in too deep he had already dropped me in his mind. Maybe he never had me in his mind. After him, I had boyfriends, of course…” Filippo commented with a sly smile. “…but I was really careful not to fall in too deep. I think I developed a kind of self-sabotaging strategy.” 

Filippo tilted his head a little and looked at Elia with warm eyes. Elia realized that these weren’t still an open wound for Filippo but rather a one that left a faint scar. He was fine talking about it but it didn’t mean he didn’t have remanent issues. So, Elia stuck to his joking around. 

“Then, I came along right?” Elia asked with a cocky smile.

Filippo threw his head back and smiled as his eyes shined.

“Oh, yes Santini. Because of you I had feelings again.” Filippo said pointing at Elia and both of them laughed a little. “You didn’t let me sabotage this and for some reason even I couldn’t.” He added with a tiny smirk as he bit his lip. 

“Flash forward and now I am making you dinner.” Elia said with a shrug and a grin.

“Which is the only reason I decided to let this play out.” Filippo shot back with a wink. 

Now, they were full onto joking, flirting, bantering, just whatever this was called and Elia was the happiest. He loved that they were so casually able to switch between serious and not serious talk. Elia leaned forward over the table and pulled Filippo into a deep and sloppy kiss-the effect of the tipsiness. When they broke apart Elia said in a husky voice:

“For the record I am not going to drop you.” 

He looked all over Filipo’s face but his eyes focused on especially his eyes that looked so soft and so tender. Then, Elia’s eyes trailed off to Filippo’s lips.

“I know.” Filippo slurred and pulled Elia right back into a kiss. 

A few minutes later they had enough of the dinner table side kisses and they got up and slowly but surely made their way into the bedroom. With every step through the corridor a piece of clothing was dropping to the ground. It started with Elia’s sweatshirt and ended with Filippo’s pants. By the time they got to the door of the bedroom they were both almost naked.

Elia with a little smirk pulled Filippo into the bedroom and closed the door behind as if they weren’t alone in the little cabin.

After all, they needed to make the most of tonight.

* * *

**Sabato 23:42 - We’ll Manage**

It was kind of law that no couple got Bracciano to themselves for a whole weekend. (Let alone a night normally, so Elia knew him and Filippo were lucky.) It all started with Marti and then Elia crushing what was supposed to be Giovanni and Eva’s romantic getaway. Because of that, right now, the tiny cabin was fucking crawling with people. One person brought the other and now literally, everyone, everyone was there.

On the corner of the big couch Gio was sitting with Eva who was practically on her boyfriend’s lap. Next to them filling up the space for two people by himself was fucking Chicco Roddi while Fede was sitting up on the side of it. By the fireplace was Marti and Nicco with Marti lying on top of Nicco. Next to them was Silvia who was sitting on a big cushion wearing Luca’s sweater and next to her was Luca. Next to Luca was Federica who was sitting on another cushion. There was a brand new single armchair which was occupied by Edoardo with Eleonora sitting on the arm part. Sana was sitting on a chair next to them. Almost completing the circle, by the chair, on the floor was Filippo and Elia. Filippo had extended his legs and Elia had pulled them up. 

Elia looked around and thought about how it was literally God’s miracle that they were all able to somehow cram up in there. 

“I have a serious question.” Chicco announced to the room blowing out a bit of smoke from his cigarette. “How the hell are we all gonna sleep here?"

And as much as Elia knew the cabin inside out and knew that Marti had been coming here since he was like 10 years old and that Luca had a solid idea of where everything was all of the heads turned to Gio. Not only because it was Gio’s place, technically, but he was the one to assign the drivers up here and divide people to cars along with Edoardo and Sana. What a planner trio, Elia thought. 

“Please ask me questions that I know the answers to.” Gio answered with a grin.

“You didn’t think about that?” Silvia asked in a tone so shocked it was almost like she was offended.

Elia barely held in a laugh and his eyes connected with Filippo who had a similar expression. 

“I don’t think we have the capacity to plan that far ahead.” Elia said looking at Silvia. 

“You are the one to talk. You two are gonna get the bed.” Marti said with a scoff and a smile as he pointed at Elia and Filippo.

“He’s right.” Gio said taking a sip of his beer. "We don’t have any more clean sheets. I can’t do that to anyone.” he added which sent a collective groan through the group. 

Elia and Filippo did a little high-five that turned into hand holding that turned into a kiss with Filippo’s hand on his face. Elia was still hearing he groans and he broke apart the kiss with a laugh. It felt so good to have everyone around as he was freely doing just this with Filo.

“Can we all agree that we know too much about everyone’s sex life here and stop mentioning that please.” Federica said with a chuckle. 

“That’s on you!” Chicco said throwing his hands up. He pointed at Giovanni, “You are dating his…” and continued with pointing at Fede who gave him a slap on the head for this. “…ex-girlfriend who was dating, technically, your ex-girlfriend.” which earned him a smack on the arm from Eva. “And you two had sex.” He added as he pointed at Silvia with one hand and at Edoardo with another. “And out of all people…” he started by showing Elia. “…you decided to date her brother.” He finished off by showing Eleonora.

As soon as he finished his sentences two pillows came flying his way and he received another smack on the head from Fede. 

“Thanks for the rundown.” Fede said shaking his head with a smile directed at his best friend’s big mouth.

“Dude, you are stealing my role. I am the one that says stupid and annoying shit around here.” Luca said with a laugh.

Elia laughed and looked at Luca who looked back at him with a chuckle and a little shrug. Silvia reached in and gave Luca a kiss on the cheek as if she was saying that she liked him when he said stupid and annoying shit.

“As for your question…” Gio said looking at Silvia. “…we’ll manage.”

“Worse comes to worse we can sleep in the cars.” Edoardo said with a smirk, looking at Gio who smiled and nodded to agree with him.

Eleonora rolled her eyes at her boyfriend. Elia saw Ele and Eva share a little look probably amused by their boyfriend’s wit. Elia realized Edoardo might be more like them than he guessed.

“Definitely not Sana’s car.” Nicco commented with a slight smirk.

“What’s wrong with my car?” Sana asked with raised eyebrows, ready to fight anybody that said a bad word. 

“Nothing wrong, nothing wrong.” Marti said coming in support of his boyfriend. “It’s just only one person can barely sleep in it.” 

Sana glared at him and Marti lied on top of Nicco again, almost hiding his face. This interaction sent a fit of laughter through the whole group. It was so easy to scare off Marti and Elia had the time of his life when Eva did this and now Sana too. Also, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared of Sana at least a little bit. 

Filippo put an arm around his shoulder and Elia looked up at him who was still laughing with the group. It was a good thing that Filippo knew everybody way before Elia. This way Filo was able to fit in with the group more easily. And anyway, he knew his friends would welcome anybody Elia brought or just anybody that made him happy. 

"Don't worry we brought plenty of air matresses." Eleonora said with a smile, easing Silvia's worries and Chicco's and everybody else's questions.

The mom friend everyone, Elia thought.

“Look what I have here.” Chicco said a few seconds later while pulling out a plastic bag from his jacket.

Elia knew just what it was. A year ago he would laughed and grabbed it right out of Chicco’s hands ready to roll up a joint. But now, he straightened up a little, clearing his throat and shared a look with Marti.

“Man, I told you not to bring any.” Edoardo said with a sigh as Fede provided another slap on the head for Chicco.

So, some people in their bigger group wasn’t aware of everything they went through and how they all stopped smoking weed in support of Gio stopping. Maybe they should send out a general weekly newsletter?

Before Elia or Marti or Luca could speak up, Eva beat them up to it.

“They don’t do that anymore.” Eva said quietly. “Just put it away.” She added firmly entangling herself from Gio who was looking down and just playing with her hair.

“It’s fine-“ Gio tried to say with a sigh.

“Yeah we don’t. Not even a little bit.” But, Marti cut him in a tone that didn’t give Gio any more chance to object.

Gio and Marti shared a little look and Elia pinpointed the moment Gio gave up. Then, Gio took one look at Elia and their eyes connected. Elia gave him a very stern but also somewhat warm look too so Gio shut up and dropped his head on Eva’s shoulder.

“I feel like there is something I missed but okay.” Chicco said and he put the plastic bag back to his inside pocket. 

The way they stopped even before hitting university was something. And for Elia, it was mostly about Gio because things went downhill for him after he started smoking weed again. After everything that happened with Gio, Elia felt so bad that he didn't pay enough attention. So now, he tried to go out of his way to support Gio, in any way possible (and if it wasn't possible, Elia made it possible.) Still, Elia also stopped for himself. No need to loose any more brain cells. Maybe he grew up and developed senses quicker than he expected to.

“I have to say as the adult here…” Filippo said and everyone groaned while Edo, Fede and Chicco objected saying they were adults too.”...somehow, you are more mature than many of my friends.” Filippo continued with a big smile.

Elia turned to face Filippo and they flashed each other a big smile. That sounded true but also Elia was %150 sure that one of them would do something in the next fifteen minutes to disprove that.

It didn’t take fifteen minutes because before Elia could know it Luca had rushed over to the speakers lying on the little wooden table and plugged his phone in. A few seconds later the most cheesy pop song anybody could think of was blasting through the cabin. Elia started laughing and Filippo and others joined him too.

“Are you sure Filippo?” Luca said jumping into the middle of everyone and starting his crazy dance moves.

And with that, the whole mood was lifted up again.

Luca grabbed Filippo’s hands and while Filippo sit his ground with a laugh, Luca actually managed to get him up and make him join in the dancing. Elia just watched his best friend and his boyfriend mess around with big laughs.

A minute later almost everybody was up and dancing; they were spread all over the place because that was the only way 14 people could dance or even move around in there. Elia’s eyes trailed to Gio who was still sitting down smiling and chatting with Eva. Gio sent him a nod to show that everything was okay so Elia jumped up to his feet too. First thing he did was to grab and give Filippo a kiss on the lips and then he joined Luca and Nicco in their dances.

So now, Elia had a little blood family, an extended blood family, a little chosen family and an extended chosen family. 

Even though his extended chosen family felt like they went through some shit in turns or in cycles, it didn’t mean that they were magically okay after the shit went down. Eva still had her self-doubts, Nicco had good times and bad times, Ele was still working through her trauma, Gio still struggled at home, Elia still had to learn a lot… It sounded too cheesy, Elia knew, but as long as they had each other everything was going to be fine and they were going to keep dancing. They were going to manage. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!!! Let me know what you think. 
> 
> Now, this story is going to be ending on chapter 10. Then, I want to write a bonus episode like Skam finale or Druck Abiball episode : five or six clips of different povs. So, my question is whose POVs would you like to see? 
> 
> And...at some point (don't know when) I want to continue this series with a Silvia Season set in the summer and then an Edoardo Season set in the fall (aka the second year of his uni and the first year of others). Just letting you know!
> 
> @youleavebehindmemories on tumblr 
> 
> The descriptions at the end (and sometimes beginning) of most clips here are like montages. Like if this was a tv show, we would see them racing in the skateboard park with a song added in. And feel free to imagine the bedroom scene(s). I don't feel so comfortable writing details there so I leave it like that.
> 
> I absolutely love the original characters I added which are Elia's cousins. I almost want to write a bunch of stuff just filled up with their adventures. 
> 
> I felt like Elia could lecture someone younger and that way we could see how he changed the way he thinks. For example, all the ways he counted in which Marco could help his friend.
> 
> I love showing Filippo just being in Elia's world. Not only their alone clips but them being proper parts of each other's lives, hanging out with other people etc. etc. 
> 
> Also, I love me some found family!


	10. Episode 10 : Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hello everybody! Here is the end of a journeyyy!
> 
> The world is so very different from when I started to write this story. Honestly, it's been kind of a refuge for me for the past weeks. Hope it was for you too!
> 
> I absolutely loved being inside Elia's mind and writing what I imagined his journey would be. I hope I did him justice. For once, I really wanted to show the growth and change of a Skamverse character inside the season, not at the end. 
> 
> I am really in love with all of these characters and I cannot wait for Season 4 of Skam Italia. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope you enjoyed the ride!

**Domenica 17:59 - Music Taste**

Elia’s room in his father's house looked as bleak as the one at his mother’s. Even more bleak because at his mother’s at least he had some posters and like two pictures. But here, that room, only had empty white walls. 

Time to change that, Elia thought. He pulled out a few pictures from his backpack. Silvia had brought her little polaroid camera, of course she did have one of those plastic pink Polaroid cameras, over to Bracciano. Naturally, they took a bunch of photos, going through like three different batches of film.

Elia started sticking some of the photos he had on the wall, just over his desk. One was a picture of him and Filippo on the little balcony of the cabin. Filippo’s arm over his shoulder and a little glimpse of the lake in the background. Another was a picture with the boys (Giovanni, Marti, Luca and Nicco) at the woods. Marti was on Elia’s back and the other three were doing crazy poses with branches. Another was a picture with Eva in the kitchen of the cabin. And lastly, the fourth picture was all of them taken by a stranger when they stopped on the way back to get coffees. They made the poor man take like a dozen pics because everybody wanted a copy.

Elia took in a deep breath and let it out with a smile. He looked at the wall. It needed a bit of color and the pictures were very small but he still nodded approvingly. It looked good. 

Elia didn’t know if leaving his father and Filippo alone in the kitchen was such a good idea. He needed to put down some of his stuff and both his father and Filippo had given him signals that he can and should leave them alone. Safe to say, now walking back into the kitchen he was kind of nervous about the scene that was waiting for him.

“Exactly! They made a huge impact on 80’s music scene!” Elia heard his father say excitedly.

“Yes, they really influenced everybody that came after them.” Filippo replied in an equally excited voice.

“And people don’t even listen to them anymore. What’s up with that?” Stefano said with a light scoff

“They just don’t have taste.” Filippo said with a smirk and a shrug right at the time Elia walked in.

Elia looked in between his father and Filippo with an amused smile. He really wasn’t expecting them to bond this quickly.

“And here is one person that doesn’t have taste.” Stefano said pointing at his son and Elia rolled his eyes.

Filippo shot him a little glance with a big grin:

“Yeah, I know.” he said cockily turning his head back to Elia’s father. 

Elia definitely wasn’t expecting them to gang up on him. What was happening?, he questioned with a big smile.

“Oh, let me bring you some of my records.” Stefano said almost cheering. 

Elia gave him a confused look with a tiny smirk. His father almost looked like an overly-excited little kid ready to show his new best friend his toys. Elia had created a monster with his hands. Now, he wouldn't be able to stop his father and his boyfriend from constantly talking about old music groups. Where did his life come to in three months?

Elia was standing near the door when his father brushed past him. Stefano put a hand on Elia’s shoulder and looked at him softly. 

“Turns out you didn’t need any advice.” He said with his lips curling into a smile and a pat on the shoulder.

Elia smiled warmly and looked down. The way his life turned around in the past few weeks was unbelievable. He still couldn’t grasp how he was totally fine with his dad after years and years of cold shoulders. Sure, he wasn’t the one to entirely blame in their distant relationship but sometimes maybe giving somebody the chance to admit they fucked up was important too.

As soon as his dad disappeared into the corridor Elia took a couple of step closer and put on a sly smirk:

“You know you are gonna regret this?” He asked with a nod. 

Filippo shook his head from left to right with a similar smirk and took one step closer to Elia:

“No, you are gonna regret this.” 

Elia tilted his head and raised his eyebrows to this overtly confident statement coming from Filippo. 

“And why is that?”

“Because I am constantly going to tease your taste in music, teaming up with your father.” Filippo replied with a small laughter.

Out of everything Elia expected would happen when he introduced Filippo to his father he didn’t exactly imagine this outcome. Everything felt too good to be real especially for a kind of sceptic like Elia.

“My music taste is not that bad.” Elia replied with a raised eyebrow.

“You have been listening to same rock band for years.” Filippo said cockily closing the distance between them. 

Now, they were standing in the middle of the kitchen with Elia’s arm resting on the kitchen isle and Filippo facing him. The fumbling noises of Elia's father was coming faintly from the living room. He was probably too excited to share his collection of records and Elia couldn’t help but smile a little.

“That’s called commitment.” Elia defended himself with a grin and a nod.

“I know.” Filo said trading his smirk with a warmer smile.

He put a hand on Elia’s chest and leaned in for a kiss. Elia was at his father’s, he was happy and he was kissing his boyfriend. Elia was never the one to wait for the day where things got to their best and where he was the happiest. He always accepted his life in itself. Dealing with his uncles, avoiding his father, hanging with the boys. He thought that was good enough. He was wrong.

“Filippo! Elia!” His father called from inside. 

Elia and Filippo broke apart and laughed a little looking at each other. Elia rolled his eyes endearingly. 

“Time to roast you.” Filippo said with a wink and grabbed Elia’s hand. 

Elia didn’t even get to flip him off because before he knew it Filippo was skipping out of the kitchen and dragging Elia along. When they entered the living room his father was already sitting on the ground with a bunch of records lying in front of him and one record ready to be put int. Of course, Filippo took it upon himself and carefully placed the record. Then, he shot a big smile at Elia and plopped down next to Elia’s father. 

Elia sure was going to regret this, in the nicest way possible. He rolled his eyes again and shook his head with a smile. Then, he took his place between Filippo and his father as they continued their enthusiastic talk. 

* * *

**Lunedi 17:28 - The Association**

Elia was sitting in a little room at Filippo’s university with Filippo and his friends. He had just watched a meeting of their quite popular association and safe to say he was very impressed. Now, Elia was sitting on a chair next to Filippo with their legs grazing. Raffaele was cleaning around the room and straightening the chairs with the help of Elisa’s girlfriend Anna. Elisa and another one of Filippo’s friends Elia met today, Riccardo, was sitting across Elia and Filippo. They had pulled their chairs that way to face the couple.

“So how did you like our little meeting?” Ricardo asked with a big smile with his long dreadlocks shaking. 

“It seemed pretty cool.” Elia replied vaguely with a smile of his own.

“Only pretty cool?” Anna asked from the back of the room where she was standing as she put another chair on top of the stack.

“Pretty cool is a big compliment in my book.” Elia replied this time with more of a smirk as he turned in his seat to look at Anna. 

“If you were student here would you join us?” Elisa asked this time with one eyebrow raised. Her one leg was up on the chair and she was holding onto it. 

“Probably.” Elia replied with an approving nod.

Definitely, he said in his mind. He wasn’t too big on stuff like this. Sure, especially this year the girls and the newest addition Luchino were doing great with the radio. Still, even thinking about sitting through one Radio Osvaldo meeting made Elia want to hit his head to a wall. But sitting through this meeting was actually quiet enjoyable. Part of it was Filippo being there but the other part was him being actually interested in the community he was now in.

“We are winning over the new generation people!” Ricardo said with a small chuckle.

Filippo joined in too and Elia flipped off both of them with a smile. Filo lowered Elia’s hand and placed it on his own leg then, put his hand on top of Elia’s, holding it. Elia looked down with a bigger smile and only a second later he managed to give all his attention back to the room. 

“Isn’t it early to plan for pride?” Elia asked kind of obliviously but he wanted to learn and maybe get involved.

“It’s never early to plan for pride.” Anna replied with a wink.

“And you know it’s the one day we really look forward to so...” Raffaele said with a small shrug.

“We get to dress up however we want and the whole outfit planning takes some time.” Elisa added on.

And Elia nodded with a smile. This was his world now too. It felt good to specifically belong to somewhere. He wondered if Martino felt the same. 

“You dress up on other days too.” Ricardo shot back and immediately received a slap on the arm from Elisa.

“Hey now, behave. We have a guest that you all wanted to impress, right?” Filippo said sweetly with a smirk.

Elia turned his head to the side and took a look at Filo who sent him a little smile and raised his eyebrows. Both of them had friends with a tint of chaoticness. Okay, maybe more than a tint. Elia liked that Filippo’s friends teased each other a lot too. It made him feel like he could easily join in their vibe. 

“Filo, I think it’s the other way around. I should be impressing them.” Elia said with an equally confident smirk.

“The young man is right!” Elisa said laughing and Elia rolled his eyes. 

Now, he was joining into all the jokes about his age. He lived for inside jokes and him and the boys had a million of them. So, having one with Filo’s friends felt special too, like he was a part of the clique. 

Meanwhile, Anna and Raffaele were done with fixing the room. Anna walked over to them and stood behind Elisa, wrapping her arms around her. Elisa lifted her face and their lips met for a small peck. One thing that brought everyone here together, plus Marti plus Nicco, was the fact that the risks they were taking when they were doing this tiny thing out in the open. Thinking about this scared Elia and gave him courage at the same time. 

“Are you going to come to the screening?” Raffaele asked to Elia pulling up a chair and placing it next to Ricardo.

Elia looked at Filo and their eyes met for a second. Elia was the one to nod first then, Filippo joined in the decision too. Making plans through silent looks, Elia thought.

“Sure. The movie sounded interesting enough.” Elia replied trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible. 

He didn’t do foreign movies much. Everything about him probably pointed to this. He was telling the truth with having to impress Filippo’s friends. As the younger, less cultured one in the room he needed to make a good impression on them. Luckily, he had already won Elisa and Raffaele over. Surely, Elia Santini had his own charm too.

“A little backstory…” Anna started pointing a finger towards Elia and then others. “…the writer of this movie decided to make it after seeing the police attack a group celebrating pride.”

Filippo squeezed Elia’s hand and Elia sighed slightly. The grim reality, he thought. Maybe comparing wasn’t a good thing to do and sure, his uncles were old-fashioned, Martino got punched for no reason, Elisa and Anna weren’t able to marry but at least they had some things to themselves. How was it said? This thought really gave Elia a perspective. 

“You said something about research about the movie?” Elia asked with big eyes, looking at Anna.

“Yeah, basically we do a pre-research on the movie and give background information on it before the screening. After the screening we lead the discussion.” Anna explained with a soft smile. 

“Can I help out?” Elia asked hesitantly. “It’s if you allow high-schoolers to do that.” He added with a more confident tone. 

He could feel Filippo’s eyes on him and also, Filippo’s growing smile. Filo squeezed his hand again and Elia smiled warmly to himself. Filippo probably knew the reason he was asking this, just what was going on his mind.

“You get a pass.” Raffaele replied with a smirk and a wink sent to Filippo. 

Maybe Radio Osvaldo wasn’t for Elia but this was for him. He wanted to know more, learn more about the experiences of people like him. He didn’t want to pass his life by while other people kept suffering because of the people they loved. With his aim of getting creative at protecting, educating himself on the subjects that was directly related to him was a part of that too.

This time he was the one to squeeze Filippo’s hand and send him a big smile with soft eyes. 

“We are impressed Santini.” Ricardo said and everybody laughed.

Elia felt like he was going to come by here so often from now on. 

* * *

**Martedi 09:06 - Baggages**

Elia was standing at the walls near the school gate with Eleonora by his side. He was leaning his back on the wall with his phone in his hands, constantly checking it. Luca was already inside with Silvia but it wasn’t like the others to be late, especially Gio. Eleonora was watching the street, standing in the middle of the pavement. After a while, she probably got sick of all the people excusing themselves and passing by her because she leaned her back on the wall too.

With a sigh Elia pushed his phone in his pocket and looked over at Eleonora. They were proper friends now, so he thought what the hell.

“Ele, can I ask you something?” Elia said still looking at Eleonora.

She turned her head to face Elia with a curious scowl. Then, a little smile appeared on her face:

“I didn’t think of you as the ask permission guy first.” A beat and a chuckle from both of them. “Ask away.” She added.

There were things bugging Elia about all his issues, about all the doubts in his mind that was coming from the past. He thought that Ele also had some of those. Probably not the same ones but still. 

“Do you ever have problems with Edoardo? Because of what happened.” Elia straight up asked in his softest tone possible.

Eleonora looked down and then back to the street in front of them. For a few seconds she was silent. Great job Elia, he thought, you fucked up.

“Do you mean because it was his brother or do you mean if I think Edoardo could do the same?” Eleonora, too, straight up asked back.

Elia really hoped he wasn’t stepping over a line.

“The second one.” Elia replied quietly. 

“Then, of course.” Eleonora said quietly too. A second later she cleared her throat and looked over at Elia, “I know Edo isn’t him. I know that. I trust Edoardo so much. But…” She trailed off and then continued. “…but you can’t erase what happened to you before. Sometimes my mind has these flashbacks and I need to take a minute. And I do. And Edoardo helps. Then, everything is okay again.” She finished without interrupting herself. 

Elia felt like maybe she need to talk about this as well. Surely the girls and Filippo and Edoardo and maybe Giovanni were asking questions, talking Eleonora through but maybe she needed to talk about this again and again. 

As a response Elia only managed to nod which he gave himself a mental slap for. He didn’t know what he could say to this but he was the one to ask the question. He did need to have something to say.

“You have your own trust issues?” Eleonora asked with a small smile and a raised eyebrow.

Elia looked over to her and their eyes connected for a bit. Then, he stopped leaning on to the wall and straightened.

“Yeah.” He first said and after half a second he quickly continued. “I mean it’s nothing like yours. Not something that big but…yeah.”

After all, she did went through a truly traumatic thing even through a trial phase. What did Elia went through? Something half the kids around the world went through : divorced parents and a cheating dad.

“You can’t compare baggages Elia. Yours is big to you and mine is big to me.” Eleonora offered her wisdom softly.

The more Elia talked with her the more he was sure she was a version of Gio. 

Elia looked at her again and nodded slowly with a small, appreciative smile. Maybe she was right. Elia believed she was right.

“Look, everybody has baggage.” Eleonora stated once again softly with her head tilted to the side. “You can’t exactly stop your mind from spiraling around it.” She continued and Elia nodded. “You can try to remember it’s not the same person and not the same situation.” After, a second of pause and a bigger smile she added, “Talking with your boyfriend about it helps too.”

Yeah, it still sounded weird to hear out loud that he was literally dating Eleonora’s brother but here they were. And well, he was talking to Filippo. He was actually surprised at how much he opened up to Filippo in their own kind of conversations, light-hearted and warm and full of jokes. Didn’t mean he trusted himself not to fuck this up in the future though.

“I am. We are talking.” Elia replied with a warm smile. “Did you know Filippo is a really good listener?” He added with a grin trying to lighten the mood more. 

“If you say so.” Eleonora said with a small chuckle that was barely heard but Elia did hear it. 

As much as he was going to need his connection with Edoardo, Elia was also going to need this connection with Ele as well. Perhaps not only for Filippo. Another friend on his corner couldn’t hurt either. Bonus points for that friend being Eleonora because she was truly an 'a plus' friend. 

“Thank you.” Elia said raising his head from the ground and looking at Ele from the side. 

She looked at him too and nodded with softer eyes as if to mean it was nothing that she opened up about herself to Elia just to help him. But it was a lot. Elia knew that and he was truly thankful. 

The two of them went back to watching the street, both leaning their backs to the stone wall as the cars passed by. Maybe it was because of their conversation or maybe because Elia felt like his life finally came to a steady rhythm, every noise around sounded peaceful to him. From all the shoutings from his fellow schoolmates to all the car horns. 

That was when Eleonora bumped him on the shoulder as she straightened again. Elia looked at her and saw that she was pointing to the end of the street with her head as her eyebrows knitted together. He followed her eyes and spotted Marti and Eva walking over. They seemed to be arguing and sighing a lot. Marti had a sulked composure and Eva rubbed her eyes on the way. 

Elia got worried like Eleonora too. This didn’t seem like something good. He knew Marti and he looked like he didn’t sleep much because something was on his mind. Elia and Ele shared another look just before Marti and Eva approached them.

“What’s wrong?” Elia immediately asked taking one step towards Marti. 

He didn’t even give them a chance to say anything before asking that.

“Where’s Luca? We need to talk.” Marti said with a sigh as his eyes searched the pavement and beyond the gate. 

Elia looked at Marti and then to Eva and then to Marti again. He was waiting for the duo, especially Marti, to explain what was going on. Eleonora put a hand at Eva’s back and started rubbing for comfort.

“You need to convince Gio to move out.” Eva said firmly looking at Elia. Her eyes shot through him and Elia was sure he never saw her this serious. This was probably what her and Marti were arguing on the way. Elia wondered where Gio was. “You need to.” Eva added with a nod and Eleonora threw her arm around her shoulder.

Elia gave out a big breath and shared a look with Marti who looked just as serious but maybe sadder.

And of course. Elia should have seen this coming. After all, even if his previous conversation with Ele did help they were fucking talking about her biggest trauma. Or even if he felt content, he didn’t know if he was going to ever talk to his uncles again (and sure, they were jerks but uncle Antonio was the one to show him how to perfect his shots). They collectively still had millions of things on their plates and it felt like their plates were never emptied.

Maybe that was life but Elia was fucking tired.

And sure, they had each other to get through everything. And Elia meant everything. He knew as long as he stuck with these people he was going to be okay and vice-versa. They could manage everything together. 

He knew their issues weren’t going to go away magically but he wanted them to at least stop constantly having emergency crisis situations. 

* * *

**Mercoledi 16:45 - Roles**

Elia once again led Nicco who was once again carrying his camera bag and tripod through the corridor of his mother’s house. He entered the living room and stood behind one of the couches with his right hand pushed to the back of the couch.

“Thanks for letting me do this again.” Elia said with a smile.

“You should actually thank my professor who wanted a follow up with the subjects.” Nicco said with a small grin that got bigger around the word ‘subjects’. 

So, in the past seven weeks Elia had figured quite a lot about himself. He started thinking he wished he could do Nicco’s little interview again because now he had more clear cut answers. He said that out loud on the weekend and turned out Nicco had to do another series of interviews. For this, fate was on Elia’s side.

“Is it okay if we have a change of scenery? If we do it here instead of my room?” Elia asked, suddenly realizing that he made Nicco awkwardly stand and wait.

“Yeah, of course.” Nicco replied as he placed his bag and the camera on the couch. 

“Because…” Elia sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Gio’s sleeping in there.” he added with another sigh.

Nicco nodded slowly with a more somber expression and asked:

“Is he-

“Better.” Elia cut him off to ease Nicco worries too and said this with a sincere nod.

Both of them looked at each other for a second. Elia knew Nicco was as worried about Gio as he was but honestly there was nothing else to talk about. Since yesterday morning they have been listening to Gio’s latest big fight with his father that ended with a bunch of shit breaking in their house (and possibly his father hitting him again but Gio refused to say anything about that to Elia) and how he literally ran off to Marti’s. Then, they spent all of yesterday evening trying to convince him to move out. So yeah, there was nothing to say.

“Shall we start?” Nicco asked breaking the silence with a warm smile.

“Yeah.” Elia replied with an equally warm smile and jumped onto the couch.

Nicco proceeded to set up his camera next to the other couch where he was going to be sitting in. He placed the camera on top of the tripod and then did some test shots to look at the frame and where Elia was. All and all he looked super professional. Elia couldn’t help but smile watching his friend like that. Nicco really did know what he was doing and it made Elia feel like he was in a real set.

“Whenever you are ready.” Nicco said with a smirk as he settled on the couch. 

Elia took in a deep breath and realized that he was a bit nervous about this. A smile slowly appeared on his face and he found himself fixing his hair and his t-shirt. Identities : it was still a loaded topic. Now, at least Elia had something to say, some answers he felt showed him for who he is.

Elia gave Nicco a thumbs up and a smile so Nicco pushed the button on the camera. When it started recording Nicco nodded at Elia, motioning him that he can start talking. 

“My name is Elia and I am 19.” Elia started with a confident smile. He no longer thought that this was a weak opening. “Like everybody else my identity is made up of a lot of things.”

Nicco gave him an encouraging smile and a couple of quick nods and Elia started sitting more straighter. His smile got bigger too.

“I am bisexual.” He stated strongly and that earned him another encouraging smile from Nicco. “I am still trying to ease into that part of my identity but I am out and open and I got my little bi flag pin. So, I am getting there.”

Elia took out the pin from the pocket of his jeans and showed it right at the camera. Nicco motioned him to come closer with his hands so Elia practically showed the pin into the camera lens. That earned him a silent chuckle from Nicco. Then, Elia went back to his old position. 

“I believe in God. I am a Christian. It’s nice to have something to believe in.” Elia continued this time pulling his cross necklace. “But my belief is not like most people. It's my own.” He added. 

“I thought I wasn’t a much political person. And I guess I don’t know much about politics but turns out me being myself is political.” Elia said a second later with a casual shrug. “I don’t know where I stand but I know I believe in equal rights and all that.”

Nicco smiled a little probably both to Elia’s well worded responses and also how he said ‘equal rights and all that.’ Even with that, Elia thought he was doing good. 

“I am a son, a cousin, a friend, a brother.” Elia said extra smiling at the word ‘friend’ and ‘brother' sending a meaningful look at Nicco. “In every relationship I have I am trying to be a protector. What that means is again my definition. Protecting people you love comes in different ways.”

“I still believe mostly other people decide your role in their lives. My boyfriend chose to have me in his life. My best friend’s brother chose to look up to me as a brother too. And I try to fulfill those roles as best as I can.” Elia finished off with his confident smile still on as he shrugged again and leaned back more comfortably on the couch.

He nodded to show Nicco that he was done. So, Nicco closed the camera and followed it with a little clap and a laugh. Elia joined him in the laughs and he smiled while looking down.

“That was amazing.” Nicco said sounding quite impressed. “I mean the other one was good too but this…” Nicco paused for a second and he looked like he was trying to come up with the perfect word. “…you don’t seem lost like before. Like some of your answers are still the same but the way you said them, it changed.”

Elia realized the changes in his words, in his posture, in his tone too. Still, hearing it out loud from a close friend, from the person who was doing this documentary, who probably heard a lot of people talk about themselves was something else. He felt quite proud of the progress he made.

“Seven weeks is a lot of time.” Elia said with a laugh but his eyes were so thankful and he saw in Nicco’s eyes that he knew that too.

“Tell us about it.” Nicco said cockily referencing to the drama Elia put them through.

One of the reasons Nicco fit so well with them was how easily he joined on their teasing. Elia grabbed the nearest pillow and got ready to throw it at Nicco-full strength.

“Hey! Camera! Camera!” Nicco practically shouted while trying to cover it with his hands. As if that was going to help.

Elia dropped the pillow down with a fake threatening glance shot at Nicco. They laughed for a few seconds, like good laughs, the ones that made your stomach hurt. That was until Nicco’s eyes fixated on a point near the door.

“Good morning.” Nicco said with his laughter toning down to a small smile.

Elia turned around to saw Gio standing and running a hand through his hair. He was still wearing the t-shirt Marti gave him yesterday and a pair of Elia’s shorts. Elia turned back to Nicco and the two shared a silent look, like the ones Elia normally shared with Gio.

“Good morning.” Gio said as he walked over and plopped down next to Elia.

What followed after was a few seconds of silence where Elia looked over at Gio and then turned to Nicco and shared other silent glances with him. Giovanni, didn’t look his best. There were less circles under his eyes compared to yesterday but his hair was still a mess. At least he didn’t look as bad as the time he had a breakdown three months ago.

Gio threw his head back on the couch and groaned:

“Stop giving me those looks and stop exchanging glances. That is something we do Elia.” Gio said hitting Elia on the leg. “And I am not the first person to have a complete fallout with their parents.” he added lightly but that only got Elia and probably Nicco too more worried.

Elia sighed and looked away from Gio. There was nothing to say to him either. Giovanni had kinda burned the bridges with his parents and he knew that Elia and the boys and Eva and everyone else had his back. Everything else, the pain and all, he had to, they had to leave to time.

For fuck’s sake. Elia was really regretting the time he wanted to be like Gio. He would take suffering all the time and Gio being the mom friend to trying to be the ‘mom friend’ to a suffering Gio every single day.

With another sigh Elia jumped to his feet:

“Coffee?” he asked looking at Nicco then to Gio.

“Fuck yes.” Gio answered with a tiny smile and Nicco nodded with a bigger smile.

Elia got up from the couch and gave a little slap to Gio’s head as he walked behind the couch. As he left the room Elia could hear Nicco talk about their plans of a housewarming party for Gio’s moving in with them. The Gio he knew would jump at planning and support every other crazy idea Nicco had. Now, Gio was really silent.

He was going to have to be the mom friend to Gio. Elia thought, maybe sometimes instead of giving yourself roles you had to take on the roles life threw at you.

Elia came back with three espressos. He handed one to Nicco with a smile who took the cup with a nod. Then, Elia sat down next to Gio and shoved one cup to his hand and put his own one on the table in the middle. Two seconds later the doorbell rang Elia almost jumped to his feet but Nicco beat him up to it. Just like Elia did, Nicco gave a little slap to Gio’s head as he walked by.

A few seconds later Luca and Marti entered the room and Luca basically launched himself at Giovanni. Thank God, Gio wasn’t holding his cup either. Immediately after, Marti jumped on the couch too basically crashing Elia’s arm and Gio’s leg. When Nicco entered he just started laughing at the sight in front of him and Elia took in a breath of relief that came out as a chuckle.

* * *

**Venerdi 20:58 - Plans**

Elia was out at dinner with Filippo, Luca and Silvia. It was a good old double date. Because it was the four of them they decided on that sushi place where Elia & Filippo and Luca & Silvia both separately had their first dates. It was of course Luca’s idea and Silvia liked it so much so Filippo had to agree and well, Elia had no chance to object after that.

Silvia proposed that they dressed up and the chain of agreements worked again. Luca jumped to the idea and Filippo couldn’t say no to the eager couple and neither could Elia. So, now he was sitting in a sport jacket, Luca with a tie properly tied this time as a result of the Silvia effect, Filippo in his best shirt, Silvia in her most formal dress.

“I have a great idea!” Luca announced to the room by clinking his knife to his champagne glass.

Yes, champagne. Thank God, Elia was allowed to have beer. 

Silvia turned to her boyfriend with the biggest smile while Elia turned to his boyfriend with an eye-roll. Him and Filippo locked eyes for a second with the same expression where they were dreading what was going to come out of Luca’s mouth.

“You had your first date here, right?” Luca said looking at Elia and Filippo with big eyes. 

“Right.” Filippo replied slowly with a suspicious smile probably still wondering where this was going. 

“And we had our first date here.” Luca continued throwing an arm around Silvia. 

"Yeah, we did.” Silvia said this time with a sweet smile. 

“And we are having our first double date here.” Luca once again continued pointing at all four of them. “So this is place is like special for us.” He added with a nod. 

“Can you get to the point Luchi?” Elia asked with a smirk as he shook his head. 

“I propose we come here every year for a double date-anniversary. Four of us!” Luca finally announced a little over-excitedly, a little loud.

Elia might have been a good boyfriend or at least he thought of himself like that but he didn’t have the most romantic view on life. What were the odds that him and Filo, Luca and Silvia were going to be together for years to come? What were even the odds that four of them would stay friends? Maybe it was the end of high-school feelings talking.

“I am already adding that to my calendar!” Silvia said cheerily as she unlocked her phone. 

Elia and Filippo shared another look that was half laughing at their friends and half maybe finding the idea nice.

“We are in!” Elia said with a smile taking the word from Filo. 

That made Luca really happy. Luca immediately raised his hand demanding a high five from Elia which Elia gave to him while trying to match Luca’s excitement. This was also kind of a promise to Filippo, for the future, even though Elia had no fucking idea where they would be in say 3 years. He had a feeling that Filippo also knew this because Elia was feeling Filippo’s gaze on him.

“I have an idea for now…” Elia said slowly trying to build up for his words. “…how about we take this to Il Baretto? Get some desserts?” He suggested with a smirk.

“Il Baretto sounds good but I think I am full.” Silvia said softly brushing her hair behind her ear.

And Elia looked at her with a scowl because there was clearly something he missed. Luca was looking at Silvia with a smaller smile and Elia could swore he saw Luca and Filippo lock eyes for a second. Since when did Luca and Filo have a secret that required them to exchange glances?

“How about we split? One of those fruity ones you like.” Luca suggested sweetly and Elia was taken aback seeing his goofy best friend sound and look so careful with one hand brushing Silvia’s arm.

For a split second he wondered if the boys were thinking the same thing whenever Elia was affectionate with Filippo around them. He liked to think that they were because he never knew himself to be like this before Filo too. 

“How about going for a threeway?” Filippo asked and a silence fell over the other three.

Basically, Elia and Luca and Silvia were barely holding in a laughter while looking at each other. Filippo realizing this started to shake his head and his index finger.

“That came out wrong.” Filippo said still smirking.

That was the moment Elia, Luca and Silvia finally bursted out laughing. In between his laughs Elia turned to Filippo and with that Filippo joined in their laughter too. God, not for a million years Elia would have imagined himself having this much fun on a fucking double date.

“Yeah, yeah that’s good.” Silvia said managing to stop his laughter all the way down to a tiny smile. 

Luca and Filippo shared another glanced and Elia once again remembered that he was missing something. That feeling continued for about two seconds because Silvia started talking again and Elia had a feeling she was trying to change the subject. 

“Can we talk about the elephant in the room? How Martino, Niccolo and Giovanni tried to set me up with Elia.” Silvia said with a chuckle. 

Oh, fuck. Yeah that was a thing at some point. Anything Gio and Nicco came up with together…it was doomed to fail. He was never interested in Silvia like that and maybe he might have had Filippo in his mind even back then. Not like this surely but Elia couldn’t deny how captivated he was by Filo at all of their brief encounters in various parties. Also, not that Elia would admit this to Filo because he wouldn’t hear the end of how he had a crush.

“Oh, that was never the plan.” Filo said turning to Elia and putting a hand on his leg.

“Nope.” Luca said with a grin as he shook his head from side to side.

“Wait-“ Silvia started.

“-was this the plan the whole time?” but Elia cut her in.

“Not the whole time.” Luca said with his grin getting bigger.

“But once Nicco got away from you guys and put his braincells together he realized that there was something else here.” Filippo said pointing at all four of them.

Filippo shot another look at Elia and sent him a wink. Elia smiled but he was also very confused. He thought maybe there was a chance that Filo had a little crush on him way before too. Only if he could get Filippo to admit to this then, he wouldn’t let his boyfriend hear the end of it.

“I couldn’t be more open about my crush on Silvia.” Luca said shyly and this earned him a little peck from Silvia.

While Silvia and Luca were kissing Elia turned to Filippo with a smirk and basically asked in a whisper:

“Were you open to Nicco about your crush too?” 

Filippo turned slowly to Elia. Yes, I caught him, Elia thought.

“Maybe.” Filippo said sweetly, spreading the letters as much as possible.

Elia’s smile got bigger and he put a hand on Filippo’s face. He grazed Filippo’s cheek for a second before leaning for a short kiss. He could interrogate Filippo later. And maybe, Elia could get used to these double dates (for years to come).

* * *

**Sabato 21:12 - Love**

They were having a party for Gio’s moving in at the Rametta-Fares residence. It was a bit more crowded than their usual crowd. Not strangers but Nicco and Filo thought lot more people and a more party vibe would be good for Gio and good for all of them. So, Nicco invited a few of his friends, Filippo invited his friends, Elia invited Irene and Christian and Leonardo, Edoardo brought over two of his friends from Milano… 

It was a miracle that all of them fit to Marti and Nicco’s not so big house. It’s not like Elia was complaining because he had a lot of friends but it was getting harder to do stuff with minimum of ten people.

Right now, he was standing in the kitchen with Gio, Marti and Luca all of them with their beers in hand. They wanted to joke around with just the four of them, like the old days.

“So, Elia, how is being in love going?” Marti asked with a grin, sharing glances with both Gio and Luca.

Either the exact words of Marti’s question went over Elia’s head or his subconscious replied for him. 

“Great. You know, I think I am better than any of you.” Elia replied cockily taking a sip of his beer.

Luca almost choked on his beer. Marti and Gio shared a look where they were barely holding themselves together from laughing. Elia looked at them suspiciously as if to say ‘what?’.

“Did you hear what Marti asked you?” Gio said with a tint of laughter.

Elia was just about to take a big sip of his beer but he stopped for a second and thought back. Oh, fuck. How did that happen? Did he mean that? No, no he didn’t hear the question. Right? He didn’t. Maybe. Elia’s eyes widened over his bottle.

“Fuck you.” Elia said pushing Marti by his shoulder. 

With that Gio, Marti and Luca who were already laughing hard started to laugh even harder. Well, Elia probably did deserve this after his countless teasing for the past years.

Elia rolled his eyes playfully and left his still laughing friends while flipping them off. Marti's voice stopped him at the door.

“Hey, Elia…” Marti said through his laughs and Elia turned back, lowering his finger. “…you are doing really good.” Marti said with a big, genuine smile.

Elia was taken aback for a second. He looked between his friends. Luca and Giovanni had smiler smiles plastered on their faces. This coming from Marti meant a lot and he could see from all three's expressions that it wasn’t just about his love life, about him and Filippo but about everything that happened the past weeks.

He shook his head with a growing smile and raised his beer bottle as if to say ‘thanks’, ‘cheers.’ Nothing like a bit of appreciation from his best friends to get Elia even happier. 

Next, Elia made his way into the living room. Girls were hanging and chatting near the window. As soon as Eva spotted him she asked where Gio was and Elia pointed to the kitchen with a smile. Federica had grabbed the microphone, yeah the girls brought over a karaoke set, and her and Sana were trying to choose a song. Eleonora and Silvia were laughing about something. 

Elia scanned the room and spotted his dear cousins talking with Filippo’s friends. Okay, what? Elia thought. Irene was fine but Leonardo and Christian actually clicking with the others…that was unexpected. He made his way over to the group with a funny look.

“Elia, we like your cousins so much better than you.” Ricardo said with a smirk as he threw an arm around Christian.

Ricardo, Christian and Irene were standing next to each other near an armchair. On the armchair was Anna and Elisa was practically sitting on top of her. One chair was occupied by Leonardo and the other by Raffaele. 

“Even Christian?” Elia asked with a smirk and that earned him a middle finger from Chris.

“Especially Christian.” Ricardo said squeezing Christian’s shoulder.

What the fuck did a very cultured and, in Elia’s opinion, pretty cool Ricardo and his stupid and very uncool cousin Christian had to talk about was a mystery. But Elia was glad that they were getting along. Mostly he was surprised that Christian wasn’t being an ass about Ricardo wearing a crop top and a very glittery highlighter on his face.

“The feelings are mutual Ric.” Christian said with a big smile that was saying ‘fuck you’ to Elia.

'Ric?’ Elia mouthed to Christian and then, rolled his eyes. Once again, he had created a monster with his own hands.

“Really Elia are you sure you and Irene are related?” Elisa asked with a smirk and Irene laughed, hard.

“I don’t think I can be related to any of them.” Irene replied with her own smirk and her eyebrows raised.

The monster was growing. God.

“Hey!” Elia and Christian and Leonardo said at the same time and the others laughed, again very hard.

“Yeah, these three are cousins.” Raffaele said still laughing.

“Okay, I might be related to Leo. But Leo only.” Irene said with a cockier grin.

“Thank you.” Leonardo said and raised his hand for a high-five to which Irene replied looking at Elia.

“Okay, fuck you all. I introduced you. You can’t love them more.” Elia said with a teasing groan.

“But we do.” Anna replied with a shrug and a grin. “You are fine too.” She added with a wink.

Oh, God. What if they started hanging out without Elia and Filippo present? And Irene told them all about Elia’s most embarrassing moments. Even the thought of that was enough for Elia to want to hide his face. Still, it was quite nice that all of Filippo’s and his circles were intertwining and getting along this well.

Then, Elia felt somebody approach him from behind and clasp both his shoulders. 

“Leave my brother-in-law alone please.” Edoardo said with a smile and moved next to Elia.

“INCANTI!” Raffaele and Ricardo basically shouted. 

Maybe Filippo’s friends loved everybody. Honestly, though between Edoardo and Christian…yeah Elia was still surprised about Chris. 

Edoardo gave around a couple of high fives and a couple of fist bumps before whisking Elia away, still clasping his shoulder.

“Thank you, dude.” Elia said laughing.

“I told you, you would need this.” Edoardo replied with his laugh that Elia was barely hearing with all the noise.

Edoardo for some reason led him into the kitchen and Elia just followed him because his beer was finished and he could have used another one. When he entered he realized the boys were probably dancing/making out with their partners somewhere else. Everybody in the contrabbandieri having a partner…that was a first time ever.

“Also, thank you for helping us convince Gio to move here.” Elia said with a thankful smile and a nod.

Edoardo handed him a bottle of beer while taking one for himself too and Elia put down his empty bottle on the counter. (Marti and Nicco and Gio could clean that up later.)

“Of course.” Edoardo said with a half-smile. “I think he just needed to hear out somebody that understood.” 

And with that Elia realized that Edoardo had his own bad story. Elia still only knew bits and pieces of it but in his defence he wasn't like friends with Edo before. I should probably have a talk with Edoardo, Elia thought. A talk where they bonded. Not tonight, not now but soon.

Elia nodded understandingly and patted Edoardo’s shoulder. 

“I got your girlfriend here Edo!” Filippo shouted at that moment from the balcony.

Elia and Edo shared a little glance and a smile.

“And I have your boyfriend here Filo!” Edoardo replied laughing.

With that Edoardo and Elia moved into little balcony that fit four of them but maybe not more. Edoardo immediately pulled Ele for a kiss and after that Eleonora gave Edo a little kiss on the cheek, leaving some lipstick stain. Elia following after Edoardo entered the balcony and jumped in for a kiss with Filippo too, a little sloppily. 

“We need to do a toast!” Ele said with a big smile, her trademarked red lipstick on her lips.

“You have been hanging with Silvia a lot.” Filippo said smirking and his arm around Elia’s shoulder.

“She is right. We need to!” Edoardo said as excitedly.

Elia and Filippo shared a little full on ready to make fun of the other couple.

“I thought you guys were ‘the king’ and ‘the queen’. Since when are you like this?” Elia said pointing at Ele and Edo.

“We are an approachable king and queen.” Ele said flipping her hair.

Elia and Filippo again shared a little look and smiled again. ‘Sure’ they both said in their minds mockingly, Elia knew. 

“So the toast is…” Edoardo said raising his bottle and basically calling for others to do the same with their drinks. “…to the four of us!”

Elia and Filippo looked at each other once again this time their smiles were less jokingly but more sweetly. Elia was right the four of them, were a little family now too.

Elia cheered loudly and clinked his bottle with Edoardo’s while the other three laughed. After that the others, even Eleonora, cheered so loudly, loud enough for maybe whole of Rome to hear. Then, they all clinked their glasses together with some of Elia’s beer, some of Filippo’s votka, some of Eleonora’s wine spilling to the ground. 

A few minutes and laughs later Eleonora was going inside and dragging Edoardo with her. That left Elia and Filippo alone in the balcony. Filippo took out his cigarette and gave one to Elia. They started smoking, taking each drag slowly and blowing it out equally slowly while watching over the streets in silence. 

Elia could hear the music coming in from the living room. Silvia and Luca had the microphone now. Chicco Rodi was cheering loudly and the others were clapping with almost every word. There were giggles and laughters echoing. The last drops of his beer was just going down to his stomach. Filippo looked so calm and peaceful behind all the noise. Filo was carefully looking far away into the night. Fuck it, maybe they were at this party because his best friend had a really bad week but he knew Gio was laughing somewhere. And Elia didn’t have to worry so much because Filippo was there. And he was offering help too. He kept Giovanni busy the whole day while they prepared the party. And Filippo was there. Just there.

“I love you.” Elia said out loud which even surprised him.

He sure wasn’t thinking he was going to say this soon, much less tonight. What felt forever passed while Filippo put out cigarette and turned to Elia with a small smirk, eyes glistening. 

“I love you too.” Filippo said taking a step forward to Elia and Elia’s heart skipped a beat. 

Next he knew, Filippo’s hands were on his face, his on Filippo’s neck. And they were kissing and kissing, knocking over one of the flowerpots but Elia couldn’t really care less. The noises in the background were fading and he loved this boy in front of him and the boy loved him back. Luckily for Elia, the boy was a really good kisser too.

“Get a room!” Nicco shouted from the kitchen with a laugh.

Elia and Filippo broke apart looked at each other for a second, taking in what was said a few minutes ago. Then, they looked inside, moved closer to the balcony door and laughed looking at Nicco.

“Please not our room.” Marti said looking at them pleadingly which made Elia want to do it with Filippo on Marti’s bed even more.

“Not his room either!” Eva shouted from the corridor dragging a smiling and winking Gio behind. 

“Gio! Eva! Not with all of us here.” Marti shouted and groaned after them. 

Nicco and Elia and Filippo shared a look and collectively laughed over Marti’s pain.

“You gave me the room. It’s your fault!” Gio shouted from the room, barely audible but audible enough to trigger another groan from Marti and laughter from others. 

Filippo grazed Elia’s arm and looked at him with a mischievous look like he was up to something. Filippo leaned to the side of the door and cleared his throat:

“So do you guys gave any other spare rooms?” Filippo asked with a smirk and Elia chuckled and Marti groaned.

Nicco did a silent chuckle too and threw an arm around Marti looking at him with a fake pitiful look. 

“Okay, stop traumatizing my boyfriend.” Nicco said and pulled Marti, who was giving Elia and Filippo the middle finger, inside.

A minute later Elia was the person that dragged their boyfriend along, to the living room. They entered the party which was going on pretty smoothly and everybody looked like they were enjoying their lives. Now, the microphone was at Edoardo and Fede with Edoardo’s new friends playing air instruments. Girls, except Eva, were dancing and laughing. Luca was fraternizing with Elia’s cousins and Filippo’s friends and there was definitely a story there and so on...

Filippo pulled him along to the karaoke machine trying to convince him to do a duet. Elia was saying no but Filippo had heard the story of their first meeting with Nicco. And well, Elia was also sure that he was going to give in any second now.

Fuck it.

Being in love was good. 

Love, in whatever form, was good. 

And despite everything life was pretty good too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so that was probably a lot!!!
> 
> A few notes : 
> 
> -Well, Giovanni is my Noora. I can find some way to make everything about him. I am sorry. But I wanted to give that storyline an end too because this might be Elia's season but othersW lives doesn't stop just like real life. And I feel like I connected him well to Elia.
> 
> -I am once again inserting things I like. The movie Anna was talking about is "And Then We Danced" and the backstory of it is real, about the first pride in Tblisi. I would recommend it.
> 
> -So I think Silvia is doing better in terms of her insecurities and eating disorder but I still wanted to show a glimpse of her worries. And well I didn't add a pov change yet but I am planning on making a Silvia season so.
> 
> -After writing Elia's cousins and Filippo's friends I seriously want a spinoff of those characters anyway ahahah
> 
> So, I hope you liked how I concluded Elia's season. Like I said I wanted him to show growth. His relationship with his father is very different, he is confident in himself and his importance in his friends' lives, he is controlling his anger, he is giving advice etc. 
> 
> I am gonna miss writing for my son Elia! I know he will have a good life from now on. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! 
> 
> and talk to me on tumblr : @youleavebehindmemories

**Author's Note:**

> I was really excited to post this! Hope you liked it! Let me know what you think!!!!!
> 
> I thought I was in character in my other Skam Italy fics and it's one of the reason I wanted to this because I feel like I nailed the characters and the relationships, dynamics. Also, I liked the new dynamics I created between the characters. 
> 
> Also, come talk to me on my Tumblr : youleavebehindmemories.tumblr.com


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